


Catching Feelings

by drivingincircles



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-16
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-15 04:02:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 121,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/845075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drivingincircles/pseuds/drivingincircles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Emily and Paige have been best friends since 6th grade. They have just started their senior year at Rosewood High. Things become complicated when Emily realises she has feelings for Paige.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**_Paige_ **

Paige stirred from her sleep as the irritating beeping of the alarm on her phone sounded. Groaning, she turned over and fumbled blindly trying to find it, not putting in the effort to open her eyes.

Her fingers finally made contact, quickly pressing the button to cut off the noise. She felt exhausted. She knew that she shouldn't have let Emily talk her into having a movie marathon last night when she had to be up early for practice this morning; when they _both_ had to be up early.

She lay there for a few moments, trying to gather up the energy to drag herself out of bed. Just as she felt sleep pulling her back under, she was jerked awake by her phone vibrating in her hand. She cracked an eye open to peer at the bright screen in the darkness, seeing a picture of Emily smiling back at her.

She hit 'answer', lifting the phone to her ear. "Hey," Paige croaked, clearing her throat.

"Rise and shine," came Emily's perky voice from the other end of the line. "Thought you might need a wake-up call; can't have you being late for practice."

"Em, it's like 6am, how can you sound so awake? Also, your 'wake-up call' was not necessary. I'm already up and almost ready."

"Really?" Emily replied. Paige could hear the doubt in her tone. "'Cause by the sound of your voice, I think I just woke you up." Paige smiled slowly. _Damn, she knows me too well_.

"Okay, fine," Paige said, sitting up. "I'm getting out of bed as we speak, happy?"

Emily laughed into Paige's ear. "Yes. Now hurry up, I'll be outside in ten."

With a sigh, she threw the bed covers off of her, swinging her legs over the side of the mattress and onto the cold floor. She missed the warmth of the bed instantly. Winter mornings were definitely a challenge, but thankfully she had Emily.

For years now, they had trained together the majority of mornings, whether it be swimming, running, weight lifting; whatever needed to be done, they were there for one another. They'd met in 6th grade; Emily had been in many of her classes, and they'd found common ground when they had both joined the middle school swim team. Paige had soon found herself integrated into Emily's small circle of friends, and from there on, it was history.

They'd just started their senior year of high school, and Paige was in a good place. She had great friends, a great boyfriend, her grades were up, and she was in the running to become anchor of the Rosewood Sharks swim team; things couldn't be better. Yes, she could complain about the early rises and the ridiculous workload this year would bring, but she had a lot to be grateful for.

Paige walked over to flip her light switch, squinting in the sudden light. She quickly stripped down, pulling on her swimsuit then rooting around in her chest of drawers for a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and pulling them on top. Catching sight of herself in the mirror, she quickly ran a brush through her hair, pulling it into a high ponytail.

Slipping on her sneakers, she grabbed her bag that she'd packed the night before and headed out of her bedroom, making her way down the stairs quietly so as to not wake her mom and dad. They weren't due to rise for at least another half hour. She quickly ate a banana, scrolling through her Facebook feed on her phone while she waited on Emily.

When she faintly heard a car pull up outside, she made her way to the front door, taking her jacket and scarf from the rack. She wasn't looking forward to the cold that would hit her as soon as she opened the door.

Stepping out, she shivered, looking to see if it was Emily that she'd heard. She saw Emily's Toyota parked at the end of her driveway, headlights shining into the darkness.

She made her way to the car, looking in the window as she got closer, seeing Emily with her eyes closed and her hand supporting her head against the window. Paige rapped her knuckles on the glass loudly, laughing when Emily jumped in her seat.

"Ha! Knew that perkiness on the phone must have been an act," she said, getting into the car.

"Shut up," Emily replied. "I was feeling pretty good when I first woke up, but the heat of the car has made me sleepy."

"Well that's not good; I kinda want to get to school in one piece if that's possible."

Emily gave her a smile, and nodded to the cup holder in between the seats. "That's what those are for."

Paige looked down, seeing two coffee cups sitting there. A grin began to form on her lips before she remembered that coffee was a forbidden beverage.

"Em, you know I can't. My dad will kill me."

"Come on, are you serious? How will he even know?" Emily rolled her eyes.

"Because I suck at secrets, and no doubt he'll be able to smell it off of me or something."

"Paige, it's not even a real secret; it's coffee. Here, it's nice and hot and it'll help keep us awake." Emily held the cup out to Paige, who took it after a moment of hesitation.

"Fine, but if my dad finds out I'm sending him to your house," said Paige, Emily smiling as she gave in and took a sip of coffee. _Damn, that's good_. She hadn't had coffee in a while, her dad claiming it to be detrimental to her fitness and therefore her swimming. Paige didn't really believe that since Emily drank coffee all the time and was debatably an even better swimmer than she was, but if it meant less fighting with her dad, then sure, Paige would do what she was told. "Also, if we throw up in the pool, you're getting the blame for that too."

Emily just smirked, rolling her eyes again. "You going to Hanna's after school?" she asked after a moment, looking at Paige over the rim of her coffee cup.

"Well, I was meant have a study date with Sean, but I think I might just tell him we can do that tomorrow. I'd rather hang out with you guys and order in pizza. We haven't had a chance to do that since school started back."

"He won't mind?" Emily said, raising her eyebrows doubtfully.

"He shouldn't, he's postponed dates to go hang out with his football buddies before, so," she shrugged, trailing off. Paige continued to sip her coffee, feeling its warmth spreading through her body. In all honesty, the reason why she wanted to spend time with her friends was mainly to spend more time with Emily. Apart from last night, it felt like they hadn't really hung out much the past couple of months. Outside of training, that is.

To be honest, something was different; she couldn't pinpoint what it was exactly, but something had definitely changed with Emily. She'd broken up with her boyfriend Ben during the summer, and Paige still didn't really know what had happened there; she wondered if that had something to with it. She hoped that maybe she might be able to get an answer out of her tonight with the help of the other three girls.

"Well, that's good," Emily smiled. "It really has been too long since we all got together. And senior year seems like it's going to be crazy busy; we might not get as many opportunities as we used to." Emily looked down at her lap, looking upset all of a sudden. Paige reached out, taking Emily's hand in her own.

"Hey, look at me." Emily looked up with sad eyes. "We've still got a whole year. And it's going to be an awesome one at that. Beating Oakwood High once and for all, loads of parties, prom; we'll even help find you a new man." Paige offered Emily a smile and squeezed her hand gently. Emily looked like she was about to say something, but after a moment just smiled back at her. Paige grinned. "There we go, that's what I like to see." Emily laughed lightly, pulling her hand away from Paige's.

"Thanks," she whispered, before turning back to look out the window of the car. Emily put her empty coffee cup down and started to drive away from Paige's house.

The ten minute journey to school was spent in a comfortable silence, Paige lost in thoughts of the day ahead. Emily pulled up into a parking spot, and with a sigh, they both got out of the car, Emily grabbing her bag from the back seat.

Paige pulled her scarf up to her mouth, trying to shield as much of her body as possible from the freezing morning air.

They made their way through the deserted corridors to the girls' locker room, footsteps echoing off the walls. They were the only ones there, as usual. Some other members of the team chose to swim in the mornings, but usually not until at least 7am.

It had been their ritual for as long as Paige could remember; get in the pool early and get in a morning practice, in addition to the ones they had in the afternoon with the rest of the team.

They were easily the best of the girls, but the extra practices always helped to keep them at the top of their game, which would be important when the scouts from colleges came to check them out. Also, they were fun. It was time that she got to spend alone with Emily doing what she loved most; they challenged each other like no one else could, and trying to beat Emily in a race was extremely enjoyable. Actual swim practices with Coach Fulton were a bit less fun and way more serious.

Paige opened her locker, removing her jacket and scarf and placing them inside. She started pulling off her t-shirt and jeans, suddenly sensing Emily staring at her from the corner of her eye.

She looked up, hands on the button of her jeans, seeing Emily averting her eyes from her.

"What? Did I spill coffee down me or something?" Paige asked, looking for any coffee stains on her pants.

"Hmm?" replied Emily, glancing back quickly before focusing on a spot on the floor. "Oh no, it's nothing." She cleared her throat. "I'll get you out there." And with that, she slammed her locker shut, flashed Paige a quick smile and left.

Paige stared after her for a moment before pulling out a mirror she kept in her locker and looking in it self-consciously. Noticing nothing out of the ordinary, she shrugged. _That was weird._

Deciding not to dwell on it, she pulled off the rest of her clothes, hurrying to join Emily in the pool.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Emily_ **

It was their last class of the day, and Emily was trying her best to pay attention to what Mr Fitz was saying, but really, she was just copying down notes off the board with no idea what she was writing. Her mind was totally elsewhere.

She was still debating with herself whether to tell them at Hanna's tonight or not. She wanted to tell them all at the same time- it would be less awkward that way- but just the thought of actually going through with it was making her feel sick with nerves.

She could just play it by ear and see how she feels at the time? _Yeah, that seems like a better idea_. She exhaled a breath, letting herself relax for now.

She tried to tune back into the speech that Mr Fitz was giving about ' _The Catcher in the Rye_ ', but after a few moments she felt her eyes starting to drop.

She suddenly felt a sharp pain in her leg, causing her to jump in her seat. A few people sitting beside her noticed and were now staring. Emily could feel a blush creeping up her neck.

She turned to her right to glare at Paige, who was laughing silently in her seat. Paige quickly scribbled a note on the corner of her notepad, sliding it to the edge of her desk so that Emily could read it.

_Should have saved some of that coffee._

Emily mouthed 'ha ha', rubbing the spot on her leg that Paige had kicked, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach that Paige's smile caused.

Of all the girls in the world, she had to have a crush on Paige, a crush that was persistent and refused to go away, no matter what she did; it was driving her crazy.

It was partly what was holding her back from telling her friends that she was gay. When she thought about telling Hanna, Spencer and Aria, she felt anxious; it was a big deal, it was normal to have some apprehension. But when she thought about telling Paige, she felt physically uncomfortable. She wasn't sure why; it's not like she would ever tell Paige about her feelings for her. Nothing would come of her crush.

The reason why she wanted to tell everyone at the same time was because the thought of telling Paige when it was just the two of them alone was too scary to even contemplate.

Thankfully she'd managed to start acting relatively normal around Paige again (for most part anyway), even so much so that she invited her around for a movie marathon the night before. It had felt just like old times, apart from when they accidentally brushed hands and Emily's heart felt like it could burst out of her chest at any moment. She hoped that Paige hadn't noticed anything strange.

She was happy that last night had gone well. She'd been avoiding spending time with Paige these past few months, ever since she realised she liked her as more than a friend. She'd needed time to sort her head out, but it had been hard; she missed hanging out with Paige and felt increasingly guilty every time she'd had to make up an excuse as to why she couldn't spend time with her. But, hopefully the worst of it had passed. She'd eventually get over Paige and things would return to the way they were before.

The bell signalling the end of class snapped her out of her thoughts, the room suddenly filling with the noise of chatter and chairs being scraped back against the floor.

Emily packed up her stuff, shoving her books into her bag and filtering out into the hallway with the rest of the students. She made her way to her locker, starting to sort through what work she would need to take home for the night.

"Hey, Emily!" She looked behind her to see Noel Kahn approaching her, a stack of flyers in his hands. "Party at my cabin a week on Friday, hope to see you there." He handed her a flyer. "Don't lose that, you'll need it to get in." He gave her a wink before moving on to the next person who he deemed worthy enough to invite. She rolled her eyes.

Emily saw Spencer walking towards her, flyer in hand. "I see you've been 'chosen' too?" she asked.

"Yup," replied Spencer. "Noel is such an ass." Emily nodded her head in agreement, seeing Hanna, Aria and Paige approaching with flyers of their own.

"So, we're totally going to this, right?" asked Hanna excitedly, waving the piece of paper around. They all sighed collectively; of course Hanna would want to go to this. Hanna seemed to sense their reluctance. "Come on, it's the first party of senior year. We can't miss it," she stated, as if there was no other choice in the matter.

"Could be fun," Aria shrugged, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Fine," Paige and Spencer said simultaneously, everyone's gaze turning to Emily. She was still reluctant, but seeing their pleading eyes was enough to make her give in.

"Okay, okay, we'll go," she said, throwing her hands into the air. "But on one condition- we spend as little time as possible near Noel."

"Deal," Hanna agreed, sticking her flyer out towards Spencer. Emily, Paige and Aria mirrored the action. Spencer stared at them, finally rolling her eyes and collecting their flyers to keep them safely in her bag.

They began to walk towards the parking lot, Paige falling behind to walk beside Emily. "How's your leg?" she joked.

"Oh, yeah! Thanks for reminding me," replied Emily, smacking Paige lightly on the arm. "That was actually sore."

"Sorry, I was just trying to save you from the embarrassment of snoring in class. Don't think Fitz would be impressed." Paige grinned as Emily just shook her head, once again trying to ignore the butterflies that were fluttering away inside of her.

"You want a lift?" Emily asked as they stepped outside. Paige nodded, making their way to Emily's car.

"See you around seven-ish!" Hanna shouted from across the parking lot, giving them a wave before getting into her own car. Emily swallowed, hoping the night ahead would go smoothly.

* * *

Emily pulled up to her house, stepping out to see a man and woman pulling boxes out of the back of their car in front of the old Dilaurentis house. She glanced at them curiously as she walked to her front door.

Entering the house, she found her mom on the couch reading a magazine. "Hey, honey. How was your day?"

"It was alright," Emily answered, placing her keys on the table and shrugging off her jacket. "Is that the new neighbours out there?"

"Yeah, they got here this morning. I've already been over and met them, they seem nice enough." Her mom put down the magazine, standing up to take Emily's jacket from her, hanging it beside the door.

"Is it just the two of them?"

"No, they have a daughter too. You and your dad can meet them tomorrow. I've invited them over for dinner."

Emily sighed internally. "Oh, do I have to?" She couldn't help the whine that laced her words. "I'm already swamped with homework, and I'm going to Hanna's later so I can't do a lot of it tonight."

"Yes, you have to. These people are going to be our neighbours for god knows how long; we need to make a good impression as a family, so make sure you do what you need to before you go to Hanna's." She patted Emily on the cheek before walking towards the kitchen.

Emily closed her eyes and exhaled heavily, making her way upstairs to start on some homework.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

She jumped off of her bike when she arrived at Hanna's, wheeling it up the path and leaving it at the side of the house. She knocked on the front door, looking out into the street while she waited to see if she could spot Emily's car.

_She must not be here yet_.

Hanna answered the door, smiling when she saw Paige. "We're in there," she said, nodding her head in the direction of the kitchen.

Paige walked past Hanna, making her way down the hall and into the kitchen. Aria and Spencer were already there, sitting on stools at the kitchen island.

"Hey, where's Em?" she asked.

"I'm not sure," answered Spencer, glancing at the time on her phone. "She shouldn't be too long, it's almost quarter past. I'll text her." Spencer began typing away on her phone as Paige removed her jacket and placed it on the back of a chair.

"You know, it's actually good she's late. I wanted to ask you guys something." Paige took a seat, clasping her fingers together on top of the counter. "Does anyone else think Emily's been acting kinda weird lately?"

Aria's eyebrows knitted together. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure exactly, there's just something different about her." Paige scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. She didn't know how to describe it. "She acts kinda jumpy and on edge at times, or completely zones out mid-conversation; it's weird. I started to notice it not long after she broke up with Ben. Speaking of, has she even told us why she dumped him?"

"Well," started Hanna, "I have no idea about the first part of what you just said, but I've asked her a few times about Ben and all I get are vague answers, like 'It just wasn't working anymore' or something equally lame. She won't tell me anything specific."

Paige nodded distractedly; Emily had given her a similar response when she'd asked about it. "I think we should ask her tonight; you know, make sure everything's okay." Paige's words were met with nods of agreement.

"Sure, but don't expect to get an answer," shrugged Hanna. "So, will I phone the pizza now or wait for Em?"

"By the time the pizza's delivered she'll probably be here, I would just phone it now," said Spencer.

Hanna walked down the hall, phone to her ear. Paige could hear her voice ring through the house as she spoke to the person on the other side of the line, her thoughts still stuck on Emily.

"Em hasn't responded to my text," Spencer stated, looking up from her phone with a slight frown.

"You know what?" Paige thought suddenly. "She probably fell asleep. She actually almost dropped off in English today." Paige smiled at the memory. "We stayed up late watching movies last night and had training early this morning; I think it took its toll on her."

"And where was my invitation to movie night?" Aria asked, pretending to be offended.

"And mine!" added Spencer.

"We were watching horror movies," Paige stated simply.

"Ahh, say no more," said Spencer. Paige and Emily had a love for horror movies that their friends would never understand, and the worse they were, the better, in Paige's opinion. Making fun of awful horror movies with Emily was one of her favourite hobbies.

"Hey, where are you?" Paige looked to Spencer, seeing her on the phone. Paige couldn't make out what Emily was saying, but she sounded like she was in a rush. Spencer laughed, hanging up the phone after saying, "Okay, hurry up! The pizza's ordered."

Hanna walked back into the kitchen. "Was that Emily?"

"Yeah," responded Spencer, looking at Paige with a smile. "She fell asleep."

* * *

**_Emily_ **

Emily had been abruptly awakened when Spencer had called. Her head had shot up from where it had been lying on her Biology textbook, her cheek peeling from the page.

_Shit._ She definitely hadn't meant to fall asleep. She'd answered the phone, jumping off her bed and giving a quick explanation as to why she wasn't at Hanna's yet.

Once she hung up, she looked at her Biology homework. She shook her head at her pathetic attempt, having only managed to answer three questions out of ten before she passed out.

She quickly changed her now crushed-looking t-shirt for a fresh one, grabbing her phone and making her way downstairs.

She entered the kitchen to get a drink of water, feeling a bit groggy after her nap. Her parents were sitting at the table, having just finished their dinner.

"Hey, champ," her dad smiled. "Your mom was just about to come and check on you. Were you not meant to be going out at seven?"

"Hey, Dad," Emily said, walking over to give him a hug, floundering for an excuse as to why she was still here. "I was just trying to finish some homework since I won't have the full night to do it tomorrow." She smiled weakly, hoping they believed her. She didn't put it past her mom to make her stay in and _really_ do her work if she had known she was asleep almost the entire time she was in her room.

Her parents smiled at her proudly. It looked like she was in the clear for now.

She opened the fridge, opening a bottle of water and relishing in its coldness. "Right, I'm going. See you later." She gave them a quick wave and started to walk towards the door.

"Don't be too late!" she heard her mom shout.

"I won't!" she answered, pulling on her jacket and opening the front door.

* * *

Emily walked into Hanna's kitchen, seeing her friends starting to pull pizza slices out of the box.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "I hope you weren't going to start that without me."

"Sorry, you were taking too long," shrugged Spencer, biting into a bit of pizza. Emily's stomach growled. She hadn't realised how hungry she was until now.

Paige pulled out a chair beside her and put a plate down in front of it. Emily smiled gratefully, sitting down and feeling warmth spreading through her body when her knee touched Paige's.

They managed to demolish the huge pizza pretty quickly, followed by ice-cream that Hanna pulled from the freezer. Emily felt uncomfortably full, rubbing a hand over her stomach.

"God, I think I ate too fast," she complained. She looked around, seeing she wasn't the only one. Paige's head was almost on the counter, doubled over in pain.

"Same," she heard Paige mutter towards the floor.

Emily reached out, rubbing a soothing hand over her back. "Just think, we've got tomorrow morning to look forward to when we have to run this off."

This caused Paige to look up at her, eyes narrowing in mock anger. "Why? Why would you say that right now?"

Emily laughed, squeezing her shoulder before standing up and helping Hanna gather up everyone's plates to take to the sink.

Five minutes later and they had moved through to the more comfortable setting of the living room. Emily relaxed into the cushions of Hanna's couch with a sigh. Aria sat next to her, the other three girls on the couch opposite.

"So, the new neighbours moved in today," Emily told them. "And my mom invited them over for dinner tomorrow."

"Wow, your mom moves fast, Em," Hanna said, raising her eyebrows.

Emily pouted. "Tell me about it."

"So have you seen them? What are they like?" asked Aria.

"I only caught a glimpse of a man and woman; I haven't actually spoken to them yet. My mom says they have a daughter. That's all I know."

"She'll probably be going to our school then," Hanna concluded. "I hope she's nicer than Ali."

Spencer turned sharply to look at Hanna. "Are you kidding? She couldn't possibly be _worse_ than Ali."

Emily's thoughts veered off from the conversation at the mention of Alison, memories from the pool party flashing through her mind. That was the party that had changed her life, in a way. It was due to Alison's vicious nature that Emily's feelings for Paige had come to light. If it hadn't been for that day, Emily's feelings for her could still be lying deep in her sub-conscious.

Emily still resented Alison for that, on top of a million other things the girl had done to her over the years. Living next door to Alison Dilaurentis had definitely not been easy.

She suddenly noticed Paige waving at her from across the room. "Earth to Em; where are you?"

She blushed. "Sorry, just thinking about something." She shook her head, shifting uncomfortably, trying to focus back on her friends.

Paige pointedly looked at Hanna, then Spencer, then Aria, raising her eyebrows. Emily felt like she'd missed something. She was about to ask what when Paige rolled her eyes, looking straight at her and saying, "Okay, spill. What's been up with you lately?"

Emily stiffened in her seat, looking around the room with wide eyes. What was going on? Had they been talking about her? She felt her heart rate increase.

Swallowing, she looked at Paige. "What do you mean?"

Paige leaned forward, arms resting on her knees. "You keep spacing out, and... I don't know, just acting weird." Paige stared at her with a confused expression.

"Yeah, and what happened with Ben? You've never explained," added Hanna.

Wow. Okay. She didn't expect tonight to go like this. Without even knowing it, they had given her the perfect opportunity to come out.

She took in a deep breath. _Should I?_ She could play dumb and pretend that she didn't know what they were talking about.

Or, she could summon the courage and finally say what she wanted to. _Come on, you can do this_.

"I'm gay," she blurted out.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Emily_ **

She almost clapped a hand over her mouth. She couldn't believe she'd actually said the words out loud. She didn't have time to overthink it, however; Aria threw her arms around her neck, pulling her towards her on the couch as Hanna, Spencer and Paige stood up and made their way towards her.

Aria released her, giving her a small smile. Emily was on auto-pilot, standing up into Hanna and Spencer's open arms. "I'm really glad you told us, Em," Hanna whispered into her hair. Emily felt her eyes starting to well up, unable to process fully what she'd just achieved. Hanna and Spencer moved off to the side, leaving Emily face to face with Paige.

Paige engulfed her in a tight hug, wrapping her arms around her back, pulling her close. Tears spilled down Emily's cheeks, emotion overwhelming her at this level of acceptance from her friends.

"Shh," Paige soothed. "It's okay." She rubbed her hand up and down Emily's back, causing Emily to squeeze her tighter, burying her nose in Paige's hair. After a minute or so, she did actually feel calmer, pulling back from Paige and wiping her eyes.

"You guys are the best, you know that?" Emily sniffed, giving a light laugh. She looked at all of them as she spoke, noticing that she wasn't the only one who had gotten teary eyed.

She sat back down on the couch, feeling light-headed all of a sudden. The relief that washed over her was almost too much. Honestly, she hadn't expected her friends to react badly when she told them, but just the confirmation of the support she needed was an amazing feeling.

"So, how long have you known?" asked Hanna.

Emily smiled slightly, thinking back. "It's kind of hard to pinpoint. I had a feeling I might be when I was about thirteen, but I really only accepted it recently."

Aria squeezed her hand, looking at her sadly. "That must have been tough."

"Yeah, it was," she sighed. "But I feel better about it now. I'm not trying to fool myself into thinking I like guys anymore." It felt weird to be talking about some of the thoughts that had been going through her head the past few months, but extremely freeing at the same time.

"Ahh, so that clears up the Ben mystery," nodded Paige. She, Hanna and Spencer were now sitting on the floor in front of the couch that Emily and Aria were sitting on. "I never said anything before, but honestly? I never liked him. He was always so full of himself."

Emily wasn't surprised that Paige didn't like Ben, and she said as much. "Paige, you never had to say anything.  The amount of times you and Ben argued was ridiculous."

"Well, he said a lot of dumb stuff!" she exclaimed. Emily smiled at Paige's defence, internally agreeing with her.

"Have you ever kissed a girl?" Hanna suddenly asked, leaning forward, grinning. "Are you seeing someone?"

"Hanna!" Spencer chastised.

"What?" she retorted. "I'm curious."

"I'm not sure Emily wants to play 'Twenty Questions' right now."

Emily laughed. "It's okay, Spence. I don't mind. It's kinda cool being able to talk about this now. No and no," she answered Hanna.

"Is there anyone you're interested in, then?"

Emily was just about to answer 'no', but was interrupted with Hanna's squeal of excitement. "Oh my god, there is, isn't there? Who is she?"

Damn. Her body language must have given her away.

She hesitated a moment, deciding she would just have to be coy in her answer. "There might be, but I'm not telling." She smiled, looking down at her lap, afraid she was going to catch Paige's gaze.

**_Paige_ **

"Come on, please tell me," whined Hanna.

Paige was grateful for Hanna's lack of filter in this moment, since she was asking all the questions that Paige herself wanted to ask.

She was still trying to process what Emily had just told them. She didn't know what she had expected Emily to say, but it certainly hadn't been that.

Paige watched Emily, waiting to see if she would crack under pressure from Hanna, but much to her disappointment, Emily just shook her head, running a hand through her hair. Paige knew that was Emily's tell when she was nervous. Curiosity burned through her veins. She really wanted to know who Emily liked; felt like she _needed_ to know.

"Fine," Hanna huffed. "But when you get a girlfriend you better tell me."

Emily laughed. "Deal."

The conversation turned to Spencer and Toby, Emily mentioning that Toby had been asking about Spencer during her Biology class, but Paige was only half-listening.

"So you think he likes me, then?" Spencer was asking with a hopeful expression. She had been interested in Toby for a while, and although Paige didn't know him well, she could tell that he was the shy type. As Spencer refused to make the first move, nothing much had happened between the two of them so far.

Emily, Hanna and Aria were all nodding their heads, Aria saying, "Have you not seen the way he looks at you?"

Paige was too busy mentally working her way through every girl she could think of that Emily could have a crush on to care about the way Toby may or may not look at Spencer. The only girl who seemed like a possibility was Brooke from their swim team. She was a friendly person and Emily had always spoken highly of her, but Paige didn't think she was really Emily's type.

And that was when it dawned on her; she had no idea what Emily's type was anymore. She had no idea and it threw her. How could she have not seen this? How could she not have noticed that her best friend was struggling with her sexuality right in front of her?

She knew logically that there was no way she _could_ have known, but it still bothered her.

Paige's phone vibrated in her pocket, breaking her out of her whirring thoughts. It was from Sean.

_How's girls night?_

Paige stared at the message for a moment, deciding she would just call him later, slipping her phone back into her jeans, her mind going back to Emily.

Hanna was now gushing over Caleb, and how great the evening before had been when they celebrated their one-year anniversary. He had bought her a bouquet of flowers; they had cooked a meal together and then spent the entirety of the evening in Hanna's bedroom.

Paige smiled with the rest of the girls, making a note to tease Caleb later about the fact that he was a romantic at heart.

It was about 11pm when Ashley Marin walked into the living room, having just come back from drinks with friends. "Oh, I thought you would all be away home by now," she said, starting pointedly at her watch. "It's a school night, after all."

Hanna sighed, rolling her eyes slightly. Ashley just smiled, wishing them goodnight before leaving to go upstairs.

Aria stood up, stretching her back in the process. "I think that's our cue, guys." They all started to stand up, Emily offering her hands out to Paige which she gladly took to help her up off the floor. They made their way back into the kitchen to get their jackets.

"Anyone need a lift home?" asked Emily.

"No thanks, I've got my car," answered Spencer, jangling her keys for emphasis.

"Same," said Aria, zipping up her jacket.

Emily's eyes landed on Paige. She was suddenly disappointed that she had decided to cycle to Hanna's rather than walk. "I've got my bike," she shrugged. Emily nodded.

They made their way to the front door, hugging their goodbyes. Paige walked to the side of the house to get her bike, walking with it down Hanna's path and out the gate.

Emily was waiting outside her car. "Hey, we still on for our run tomorrow?"

"Of course," Paige replied. Why wouldn't they be?

"Okay, good," Emily smiled. "Text me when you get in?"

"Em, I live like, three minutes away," Paige smirked.

"I know. Just, please?" Emily pleaded.

"Fine," Paige conceded, feeling weirdly pleased at Emily's over-concern. She gave Emily a quick wave, flinging a leg over her bike and pedalling away.

* * *

Paige entered her house, happy to see that all the lights in the house were off; that meant that her parents had already gone to bed. It might be bad to think, but she couldn't be bothered speaking to her dad right now. She just wanted to crash. He had already grilled her about her swim times today, and she couldn't be bothered going over her training schedule for tomorrow with him at this time of night. He had no issues with what time of day it was when it came to lecturing her about training.

She sent Emily a quick text on her way up the stairs, telling her she was home safely, before throwing her phone onto her duvet as she went to get ready for bed.

Ten minutes later she was crawling under the covers, looking at her phone to see if Emily had replied.

_Night :-)_

Emily had a habit of putting dorky smilies at the end of her texts which Paige never failed to find amusing. She set her alarm for the morning, placing her phone on her bedside table and drifting off to sleep with a small smile on her lips.

* * *

Paige jogged up and down on the spot outside Emily's house while she waited for her to come outside, seeing every breath she exhaled in the crisp morning air. She didn't know why, but she felt anxious about seeing Emily. There was no reason for it; she was being ridiculous.

Paige turned at the noise of Emily's front door opening, Emily smiling as she started jogging towards her. "Ready?"

"Yup," Paige replied, taking off down the street with Emily at her side.

They switched to brisk walking about halfway through their route so they could catch their breath. Paige decided to just ask Emily about what had been plaguing her since last night.

"Em?"

"Yeah?"

"Having you been avoiding me lately? And is it 'cause of you being gay and thinking that I wouldn't react well or something? Because-"

"Whoa, Paige, slow down." Emily had stopped walking and was breathing heavily, looking at her with confused eyes.

"You've not been around as much to hang out with as you used to be, and I was just wondering if that was why," Paige explained, wringing her hands together. She couldn't read the emotions that were flitting across Emily's face.

Emily finally said, "So you noticed that, huh?" Paige sighed in hurt, looking away from her. _God, she totally thought I wouldn't support her._

"No, Paige," Emily said, grabbing her arm. "It's not what you think." Paige looked back at Emily, waiting for an explanation.

Emily dragged a hand across her face, looking like she was having trouble with finding what she wanted to say. Paige waited in anticipation.

"Look, I wasn't just avoiding you." Paige couldn't help but notice Emily playing with her ponytail. "It was everyone; even my parents. My head was a mess, okay? I needed some time to sort stuff out."

"You could have talked to me, you know," Paige smiled sadly, feeling terrible that Emily had been going through this alone. She would have been there for her in a heartbeat.

"I know," Emily reassured her, tracing her thumb over her wrist. "But that's easier said than done. You would know that if you were the one who was gay."

Paige casually pulled her wrist from Emily's grasp, the words unsettling her for reasons she couldn't explain. She cleared her throat. "So we're good?"

"We're good," Emily echoed, offering Paige a smile which she returned.

* * *

It was lunch-time and Paige was putting books into her locker when she felt hands wrap around her waist from behind.

Sean kissed her cheek. "Hey."

She turned around in his arms, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. "Hey, what's up?" She twisted back around to face her locker. She couldn't seem to find her math book.

"I could ask you the same thing," he said, his hands dropping from her hips.

"Hmm?" Paige replied distractedly, rummaging through all the crap in her locker. _Where the hell is my book?_ She knew it was in here somewhere.

"Paige! Can you at least look at me when I'm talking to you?" Paige looked over her shoulder at the sound of Sean's irritated voice.

"What?" she snapped back. Couldn't he see she was busy?

"How come you never replied to my text last night?" Shit. She had totally forgotten about that.

"Oh, sorry. My phone died so I never got your message 'til this morning," she lied, unable to suppress the feeling of guilt that crept up on her. She had blown him off to hang out with her friends and then ignored his text.

He still had that sad puppy expression on his face. She sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? Do you want to come over tonight?"

He stared at her for a moment, still looking annoyed, finally giving in and pulling her close. "Sure," he said, smiling slightly and pecking her on the lips.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

She heard the doorbell ring, her mom shouting, "Emily!" from the hall. With an inward groan, she closed her Biology textbook and made her out of her room, walking downstairs and seeing her mom opening the front door.

"Hi," she said warmly to people standing on the porch. "Come on in."

The woman that Emily had seen yesterday handed her mom a bottle of wine, hugging her in greeting, and then her dad in turn. Emily made sure to plaster a smile on her face as she introduced herself to the new neighbours.

"Hi, I'm Emily," she said, holding her hand out towards the woman. The woman ignored her hand, instead pulling her in for a hug. _Obviously a friendly family then._

"Lovely to meet you, I'm Melanie." Melanie pulled back, her smile warm and genuine. She moved off down the hall towards the kitchen after her mom, chatting away happily.

"I'm Bryan," Melanie's husband said, extending his hand towards Emily. She felt like she had to crane her neck to look at him he was so tall. He followed after his wife, stepping aside to reveal the daughter her mom had mentioned.

"Hey, I'm Maya," she said, stepping in to hug her, Emily returning it awkwardly.

"Emily," she replied when she pulled back. Maya looked around the same age as her, and she couldn't help noticing that she was very pretty.

"So you've been dragged into this neighbourly get-together as well then?" Maya asked. Emily laughed at the girl's honesty. Maybe dinner wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

They were in the middle of dessert, and Emily was surprisingly enjoying herself.

The St. Germains' were an easy-going family, effortlessly keeping the conversation flowing. Bryan was currently telling the story of how he proposed to Melanie by drawing a ring on her finger since he couldn't afford a ring, and instead of replacing it with an actual ring at a later date, Melanie had gotten the drawing tattooed onto her finger. The whole table laughed, even her mom to Emily's surprise (she had always been a bit of a traditionalist).

Once they finished eating, the adults stood up to retire to the living room with their glasses of wine. "Why don't you show Maya your room, Emily?" her mom suggested. It took every ounce of strength to refrain from rolling her eyes, because seriously, what was she? Five?

She had no choice now but to take Maya upstairs; she hoped that she hadn't left her room in a state.

As soon as they entered her room, Maya walked around, picking things up and examining them. Emily was sure of one thing; Maya definitely wasn't shy.

"Oh, are these your swimming medals?" she asked, plucking one of them up off of her cabinet, running her finger over the metal.

"Yup," Emily nodded, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Wow, you must be really good," she smiled.

"I'm okay," she grinned bashfully. "Hopefully I can get an athletic scholarship out of it by the end of this year."

"Have any scouts come to see you yet?" Maya inquired.

"A couple came to watch us last year. Things went pretty well, I think. So, fingers crossed." Emily watched Maya move onto her jewellery box. "How about you? Are you hoping to go to college?"

Maya nodded. "Yeah, I'm interested in studying music. I'm actually hoping to join the jazz band at your school; I heard there was one?"

"Yeah, I think there is." Truthfully, Emily didn't know much about Rosewood High's other extracurricular activities outside of sports. "That's cool. I would love to be able to play an instrument."

"Maybe I can teach you sometime," Maya smiled, giving her a wink. Emily smiled, shifting uncomfortably on the bed.

Maya had now walked over to the side of her room, looking at the framed photographs that sat on the bedside table.

"Those are my best friends," Emily stated, seeing Maya pick up the picture of the five of them taken around a year ago. Maya smiled at the photo, putting it back down and picking up the other one. It was of her and Paige, one arm around each other's shoulders, their other arms raised in triumph after just winning an important swim meet. It was kind of a dorky picture, but Emily loved it.

"Is this your girlfriend?"

Emily coughed in shock. "What? No. I'm not- she's not- why would you ask that?" Emily asked quickly. She was taken aback by Maya's forwardness. She wasn't used to anyone asking things like that. Emily stood up, taking the frame off of Maya and putting it back in its place, her heart racing.

"Sorry. My mistake. I didn't mean to offend you," she said, shaking her head. "It's just that it's right beside your bed and it's just the two of you in the photo, and sorry; I shouldn't have assumed. My mom says I always do that. I should really stop." She rolled her eyes awkwardly. "Maybe I'm just missing my ex. We broke up before I left and I really miss her."

"You're gay?" Emily asked, embarrassed at how surprised she sounded, still trying to calm down from Maya's previous question.

"Bi," Maya clarified, sitting down on Emily's bed. Emily admired how easy it was for Maya to just tell her that; no freaking out; no stuttering; just the truth. Emily hoped she could be that confident one day.

"Sorry you had to move," Emily said, sitting down beside her. "That must suck; senior year as well."

"Yeah, my parents have great timing," Maya said bitterly.

Emily couldn't help asking. "Do your parents know? About you being bi, I mean."

Maya nodded. "They do. I think they figured out I liked girls when they caught me kissing one behind the shed in our yard when I was twelve." She laughed at the memory. "So yeah, they're fine with it."

Emily smiled, looking down at her lap. She had no idea how her own parents would react when she finally told them. Maya put a hand on her arm, brushing her thumb across her skin. Emily looked back up at her before she had to look away again. Maya was uncomfortably close.

"So, are you single?"

Emily's mind was going a hundred miles a minute. What was happening here? Was Maya interested in her?

"I am now," she said. "I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago." She felt the need to add that it was indeed a boy she had dated. Although she had come out to her friends yesterday, she wasn't ready for anyone else to know, even if Maya's gaydar seemed 100% on point.

"Oh," Maya replied, removing her hand from Emily's arm. "That's a shame, I'm sorry."

Emily cleared her throat nervously.

"So, what were the people like that lived in the house before we moved in?" Maya asked, standing up to pace around the room again.

Emily was thankful for the subject change. "Well, everyone in Rosewood knew them, but not in a good way. Jason Dilaurentis was the guy that no one wanted their kid to hang around with. He was constantly stoned or drunk, always causing trouble. And Alison, well, she blinded a girl."

Maya gasped. "What? Oh my god, she did? How?"

"She threw a firework into the garage of the Cavanaughs. They live a few houses down the street." Emily gestured towards her window. "I don't know if it was a prank gone wrong or what, but Jenna was in the garage when the firework went off, and she was badly injured. The doctors tried to save her sight, but they couldn't." Toby was Jenna's step-brother and also Emily's lab partner in Biology, so he'd told her all the details of what happened.

"That's terrible," Maya said, shaking her head. "So what happened?"

"Alison got sent to juvie and the whole family decided to move out of state. That's all I know." And Emily couldn't say that she was sad about Alison moving away.

"Maya!" Bryan's voice shouted. "We're leaving now!"

Maya sighed, clapping her hands on her thighs, smiling at Emily. "Well, it was nice to meet you."

Emily stood up. "You too." She was surprised to find that she actually meant it. Maya stepped forward for a hug, which Emily returned.

"See you around," Maya waved, leaving the room and shutting the door behind her. Emily flopped backwards onto her bed, replaying the night in her head.

Was Maya interested in her, or had she just imagined it? Of course, Maya now thought she was straight, but she was sure that could be rectified if she wanted it to be. Maybe Maya would be good for her. Maybe she could help her get over Paige.

She sighed, reaching for her phone at the thought of Paige. She scrolled down her contacts, clicking on Paige's name when she reached it. She waited patiently for her to pick up, which she did after about four rings.

"Hey Em, two secs," Paige answered. Emily could hear her walking and a door closing on the other end of the line. "Hey," Paige repeated when she was ready to talk.

"Am I interrupting?" asked Emily.

"Nope," Paige replied. "Sean's over, but he and my dad are talking football in the kitchen so I just decided to leave them to it. What's up?"

"Okay, so the craziest thing just happened. The new neighbours came over for dinner, and Hanna was right. The girl is going to our school, and is even in our year. We ended up talking in my room and she told me she's bi-".

"Emily!" laughed Paige. "Slow down, I can barely hear a word you're saying." Emily blushed, laughing at her own eagerness to tell the story.

"Sorry. Okay, so the girl, Maya, she told me she's bi. And she made a few flirty comments, and touched my arm, and asked about my love life. And I don't know, am I being ridiculous?"

Paige responded after a moment's silence. "What are you asking me, Em? If she likes you or not?"

"I guess I am, yeah," Emily sighed.

"Well, she would have to be crazy not to," Paige answered, Emily's heart fluttering at the kind words. "Do you like her?"

"I don't know," Emily replied honestly. "I mean, she seems really nice, but I think I would have to get to know her better." _Besides, she's not you_.

There was another bout of silence between them. "Well, that's great, Em. Listen, I've got to go. Sean's shouting on me. See you tomorrow?"

Emily was disappointed at their conversation being cut short. She wanted to talk about this more. "Yeah, okay. Night, Paige."

"Night, Em."


	4. Chapter 4

**_Paige_ **

It was Monday morning; Paige was waiting on her porch for Emily to arrive. They'd decided to hit the gym before school started since the weather was too horrible for running and they would have their swim practice after school anyway.

Paige saw Emily's car pull up, beginning to walk quickly towards it, eyes squinting against the downpour. It was only as she got closer she realised something was different; there was someone sitting in the passenger seat. From what she could make out through the rain-smeared window, it wasn't anyone she knew either.

She reached the car, hesitantly pulling open the door to the back. She slipped into the seat behind the passenger's, Emily twisting around to look at her when she closed the door.

"Paige, this is Maya," she said, gesturing to the seat beside her. "My new neighbour," she added, raising her eyebrows at Paige as if to say 'I know you know this but play along'. Maya leaned around the seat to see Paige. "Maya, Paige," Emily continued.

Maya gave an awkward wave. "Hi, you're the swimmer, right?"

"Yeah," Paige replied, forcing a smile.

"Are you as good as Emily, here?" Maya asked, putting her hand on Emily's arm for emphasis. Paige had only met this girl for two seconds and she could already feel the irritation flaring up inside of her.

"Sometimes," she replied, her smile becoming even more strained. There was a moment of silence that went on slightly too long to be comfortable; Paige noticed Emily shifting awkwardly. "So, it's Maya's first day today." Paige gritted her teeth- she also knew this already; Emily had told her yesterday over the phone even though she'd silently wished she would stop talking about Maya.

 Emily hadn't mentioned that she would be giving Maya a lift, however.

"You're going in a bit early, are you not?" Paige asked, not bothering to disguise the blunt tone in her voice. Out of the side of her eye, Paige caught Emily shooting her an annoyed look that Maya couldn't see. Paige avoided her gaze, choosing to stare down Maya instead. She felt a childish sense of satisfaction when Maya looked away first.

"Yeah, need to get my transcripts sorted and I want to find out how to join the school jazz band," she stated. "Emily was kind enough to offer me a lift when she saw me leaving the house this morning." Maya turned back to Emily, giving her a much too flirty smile, in Paige's opinion.

Paige just nodded, choosing to turn and stare out of the car. She focused on two raindrops racing each other to the bottom of the window. She heard Emily clear her throat, saying, "Suppose we better get going," in a voice that was far too cheery to be sincere.

 _Crap_. Paige knew she was in for it when they got out of the car, but she couldn't help it.

Maya bothered her.

* * *

Emily offered to show Maya where the school office was, Paige muttering, "Meet you in the gym." She stalked off down the hallway.

After quickly changing, she made her way into the gym. It was pretty small and basic, but it was enough. She looked around, noticing that there were a couple of the school's football players occupying the weights. She was just about to go on the treadmill when she spotted the punching bag hanging from the ceiling near the corner of the room.

She made her way to the storage closet, pulling a pair of boxing gloves out of a basket along with some gauze to wrap her knuckles in. Normally she would be thinking about how gross and sweaty the gloves probably were, but at this moment she couldn't bring herself to care.

She started off slow, jabbing the punching bag lightly, jumping back and forth on her toes. Once she felt like her muscles had warmed up, she began to put more force behind her punches. Right, left. Right, left. She could literally feel the stress leaving her body with every hit, a light sheen of sweat starting to cover her skin.

By the time Emily walked in, she was feeling much more relaxed.

"What the hell was that?" Emily walked up to her, arms crossed over her chest.

"Why aren't you changed?" Paige asked, noticing Emily was still in her normal clothes. She continued punching the bag.

"Paige."

"What?"

When Emily didn't reply, she sighed, letting her arms rest at her side and turning to face her, breathing loudly.

"Why were you so rude to Maya? She thinks you hate her." _Well, she's not far off_. Paige wanted to know exactly what Maya had said about her, but managed to stop herself from asking.

"Rude? I wasn't." Paige averted her eyes, wiping sweat off her forehead with her arm.

"Yes, you were. You barely said two words in the car."

"Well, sorry if I'm not in a chatty mood, okay?" Paige turned back to the punching bag, feeling the frustration starting to build again. She heard Emily huff behind her. She listened to the sound of her retreating footsteps, hearing the door to the gym close.

Paige stopped the bag swinging in front of her, resting her forehead against it. She closed her eyes and exhaled heavily.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

She was on her way to swim practice, still confused over Paige's reaction to Maya in the car that morning. She'd obviously taken a dislike to her, but she had no idea why. Was Paige okay with her being gay but not actually _being_ gay? She didn't know what to think.

She would have tried to get more out of Paige in the gym, but she realised she couldn't focus properly with Paige all hot and sweaty, her arm muscles flexing every time she threw a punch; that sent her mind veering off in a whole other direction altogether, leaving her feeling angry with herself as well as Paige.

She entered the locker room, seeing Paige was already there and in her swimsuit.  She moved to her locker, not acknowledging Paige when she felt her eyes on her. "Hey," Paige said tentatively.

"Hey," she said, deliberately making her response short.

"Are you still mad at me?" Emily could almost hear the pout in her voice. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm an asshole, I know that." Emily looked up at that. Paige was looking intently at her hands where her fingers were playing with her swim cap; the fight went out of Emily.

She sat down on the bench beside the lockers, Paige following suit. They were still for a moment, Emily finally asking, "So, are you going to tell me what this morning was all about?"

Paige seemed to consider her words carefully, still staring at her hands. "Honestly? I don't know." She looked up at Emily briefly. "I guess sometimes you have a connection with people when you meet them, and sometimes you don't." She shrugged.

Emily raised her eyebrows, smiling slightly. "Really? That's all you're gonna give me? That's ridiculous."

"I don't know what else to say," Paige said simply.

Emily sighed, thinking that there must be more to it, but she decided not to push the matter; she would accept the answer Paige had given her; for now. "Okay," she said, standing up and starting to get changed. "And by the way, I don't think you're an asshole," she added, looking back at Paige.

Paige scrunched her face up doubtfully in a way that Emily could only describe as adorable. Emily reconsidered her words. "Well, okay; maybe sometimes."

They both grinned.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

The week passed pretty quickly, and thankfully was mostly Maya-free apart from the occasional passing in the school hallways.

They were currently on their way to Noel Kahn's party out in the woods. Sean was one of their designated drivers, opting to take her and Emily, while Caleb was driving Hanna, Aria and Spencer. Paige was surprisingly looking forward to it; she was in the mood to just blow off some steam and have a good night out.

They approached the gate surrounding Noel's cabin, seeing that there were already a lot of people there, spilling out of the clearing and into the surrounding area. The baseline of loud music was pumping through the night air from inside the cabin.

Sean parked in a free spot at the side of the dirt road. "They're already here," Emily said from the back seat, looking up from her phone. "Hanna just text me; she says they're beside a tree." They all shook their heads at Hanna's helpfulness before getting out of the car.

Paige craned her neck, trying to see past the people walking by and the other parked cars that had been abandoned in various places. Further up the road she spotted Spencer's hand up in the air, waving them over.

"Up there," she pointed to Emily and Sean, beginning to walk towards the rest of their group, Sean taking her hand in his as they went. Once they reached them, they all made their way towards the cabin together.

Paige noticed there were already people staggering around, their giggles echoing through the air. She rolled her eyes, wondering what time they must have started drinking at.

Spencer handed them back their flyers that they had given her last week as they approached the entrance gate, Sean and Caleb pulling one from their back pockets.

There was a stern looking guy dressed in suit that seemed to be gathering the flyers and stamping people's wrists. Paige found herself rolling her eyes again; the Kahn family had way too much money on their hands if they even had a bouncer for a party in the woods.

A couple were getting turned away from the gate as they reached it. "No flyer, no entry!" the bouncer shouted.

Paige handed over her flyer and pulled up the sleeve of her jacket to allow her wrist to be stamped, walking through the gate.

She looked around the open space outside the cabin while she waited on the others. There were plenty of wooden chairs and tree stumps scattered around, which large groups of people were gathered at. The air stank of beer and weed, smoke rising into the night sky from all the joints that were being passed around. Their voices were overly loud, laughter ringing through the air at a drunken guy attempting to do a keg stand.

Sean's arm encircled her waist and he placed a kiss on the side of her head. "Want a drink, babe?"

She smiled. "Yeah, please. Vodka coke?"

"Coming right up," he said, asking the other girls what they wanted and walking off towards the inside of the cabin with Caleb.

"This party looks like it started a while ago," Aria said with wide eyes, staring at the ground which was littered with empty red cups.

"A lot of them probably came straight from school," Spencer speculated.

"We're way too sober for this," Hanna stated, eyes following a half-naked guy chasing a half-naked girl, who shrieked with laughter as she ran by them. Paige mentally agreed with Hanna. She needed a drink.

Sean and Caleb thankfully didn't take long to come back, juggling everyone's drinks in their hands. "Man, it's crazy in there," Caleb said with a grin, handing a cup to Hanna and Spencer. "Careful," he added as Hanna lifted the cup to her lips. "That might be a bit strong; the lighting in there wasn't exactly optimal for being able to see."

Hanna took a drink and shuddered. Paige took a sip from the cup that Sean handed her and had the same reaction. The vodka burned its way down her throat, settling in her stomach; after a few more sips however, she started to feel the warmth from the alcohol spreading through her body.

"Hey," Spencer said, trying to be subtle. "Toby's here." They all started to look around for him. "Don't look!" Spencer snapped. After a moment she asked "Do you think he knows I'm here?"

"From the way he keeps glancing over, I would say so," smirked Emily. "I can properly introduce you, you know."

"Maybe later," Spencer replied, taking a gulp of her drink.

* * *

An hour and three (or was it four?) drinks later, and it was safe to say Paige was buzzed.

She exited the bathroom into one of the crowded rooms of the cabin. The music was so loud that Paige could feel the vibrations in her chest. She struggled past people to make her way back outside, inhaling the fresh air deeply when she reached it; the heat inside was unbearable.

She felt a warm hand on her arm. She looked up to see Emily smiling at her with glazed eyes. "There you are," she said happily. "Look who's finally talking." She nodded her head across the clearing, where Paige could just make out Spencer and Toby.

"About time," Paige grinned. "Did you have anything to do with it?"

"If you mean 'did I physically drag Toby over to Spencer', then yeah, I did," she smiled proudly.

"Well done!" She squeezed Emily's shoulder. "Hopefully something will come of it." Paige still felt like she was overheating, starting to flap her hand in front of her face.

"You want to go for a walk?" Emily asked. "Hanna's with Caleb, Aria's disappeared off somewhere and Sean's with the football team," she added, guessing that Paige had been about to ask about the others.

Paige didn't even need to think about it. "Sure," she said, and they set off towards the gate.

Emily slipped her hand into Paige's as they walked, Paige smiling down at their intertwining fingers. A different kind of warmth spread up her arm.

They swayed down the dirt road, past all the parked cars, giggling stupidly at the fogged up windows of one car and the noises coming from it.

"Over here," Emily said, tugging on her hand and leading her into the trees.

"Em, where are we going?" She stumbled slightly. Being drunk and in almost complete darkness wasn't a good combination. Emily just 'shh'd' her, bringing them out into another clearing where there was a small shed standing. There was a lamp with a single bulb above the door, Emily flicking it on, a yellow glow surrounding them. There was a small step at the door, Emily slumping onto it, Paige following.

They could still hear noise and laughter from the party, but sitting here was oddly peaceful. Paige could feel Emily's warmth radiating into her side through her thin t-shirt. "Hey," she realised. "Where's my jacket?"

"I think Sean was holding it for you while you went to the bathroom," Emily said. They looked at each other for a moment, bursting into laughter.

"Oops," Paige snorted. "I hope he doesn't mind me leaving him for a bit."

"He's fine," Emily reassured her, a smile still on her face. "He was talking to his friends." Emily stretched her bare legs out in front of her, having chosen to wear a short simple skirt tonight, and Paige couldn't help staring. Her eyes trailed from her mid-thigh all the way down to the pair of Converse she was wearing.

She shook her head slightly, trying to clear the thoughts out of her head. She really had drunk too much, starting to think coming out here alone with Emily had been a bad idea. "So, how come Maya never came tonight?" Shit. Why did she just ask that? The last thing she wanted to talk about was Maya.

"No flyer, no entry!" Emily mocked the bouncer from earlier, earning a laugh from Paige. "I wish she could have come though, since Hanna said she would do some investigating -whatever that means - to see if she likes me or not." Emily rolled her eyes, a light blush rising in her cheeks.

Paige could see it in Maya's eyes, the way she looked at Emily in the car; the way she went out of her way to put her hand on Emily's arm; the way she smiled at her. Of course Maya liked her.

But she didn't feel like pointing that out to Emily right now.

"Which is kinda ridiculous since I don't even know if _I'm_ interested in her," Emily added.

Paige suddenly thought of something that she'd been meaning to ask. "By the way, what about that girl you said you had a crush on that night at Hanna's?"

"What do mean?" Emily asked, tucking her hair behind her ear and staring out into the woods.

"Well, who is it?" Paige ribbed Emily in the side to get her to look back at her.

"I'm still not saying," Emily said shyly, a small smile on her face as she ducked her head.

"It's Brooke, isn't it?"

Emily laughed. "What? No!" She gave Paige a light shove on the shoulder. "Where did you get that idea from?"

She shrugged. "It was all I could come up with."

"So you've been thinking about it a lot then?" Emily stood up, walking away from her a few paces, turning to face her, looking amused.

Paige became focussed on picking at a speck of dirt that had found its way onto her jeans. "I guess I have," she admitted. "Come on, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone."

"No," Emily said, making the 'my lips are sealed' gesture.

Paige stood up slowly, smiling. "You sure about that?" said she playfully, waggling her fingers and starting to walk towards Emily.

Emily held out her hand in a 'stop' motion. "Paige, no. No. No!" she squealed with laughter, taking off into the woods, Paige running after her.

Emily didn't get very far, having to slow down since she couldn't see where she was going in the darkness. Paige caught her easily, grabbing her around the waist from behind, Emily shrieking through her giggles.

"Last chance, Fields," she murmured into her ear, moving her fingers threateningly to Emily's sides. "You gonna spill?"

Paige felt Emily's head shake; she began tickling her sides in earnest, grinning. Emily lunged forward, trying to get away but Paige wasn't letting go. She managed to turn around in Paige's arms, trying to push her off. She stumbled backwards into a tree, Paige going with her.

She threw an arm out onto the trunk just in time to stop herself crushing Emily, her other arm still around Emily's waist, holding her up.

They laughed breathlessly, Paige becoming acutely aware of their proximity. Their laughter died down; their smiles disappeared from their lips.

The next thing Paige knew was that they were kissing, pushing Emily up against the tree, Paige's body leaning into her.

Emily's hands trailed up Paige's arms leaving goosebumps in their wake, coming to rest on either side of her neck. Paige's hands were gripping hard at the material of Emily's shirt just above her hips, causing it to bunch up in her hands.

Emily's lips were soft and warm against her own, moving slowly and hesitantly at first, growing more confident with every passing second, applying more pressure; Paige pushed back with equal force.

Their tongues brushed gently, Paige's head beginning to spin. She had never experienced anything like it. Emily's hand buried itself in Paige's hair; Paige moved in even closer, their bodies flush against each other as the kiss increased in intensity.

Paige felt Emily moan softly into her mouth, a spike of arousal coursing through her body. She felt like she was on fire.

What was she doing? Her mind was slowly starting to catch up with her body. She was kissing Emily. _She was kissing Emily._

She abruptly pulled away from Emily's mouth, stepping back a few paces, breathing heavily, trying to process what had happened.

She risked a glance at Emily, who was still leaning against the tree, eyes closed, her shoulders moving up and down as she inhaled deeply.

Oh god. Oh god. _Fuck._

Emily had opened her eyes and was stepping towards her again. "Paige-"

"Don't," Paige said sternly, moving back away from Emily. The panic was starting to swell inside her. "Don't."

A pained expression crossed Emily's face, trying to reach out towards her again. "Paige-"

And that's when the panic spilled out of her. "Just 'cause you're a dyke doesn't mean I am, okay?" The words flew out of her mouth before she could rein them in; they both looked at each other in shock.

The moment was well and truly shattered; Paige saw tears instantly forming in Emily's eyes before she began to walk quickly past Paige and back the way they came.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

"Emily, wait," she pleaded. She followed her, trying to catch her arm.

"Leave me alone," Emily cried, snatching her arm from her grasp. Paige felt a stabbing pain in her heart at the crack in Emily's voice. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she watched Emily walking further and further away from her.

_FUCK._

Rage started to build inside of her. She was so angry with herself. She had wanted brief space from Emily and she sure had fucking got it. She wasn't sure she could have said anything more hurtful at that moment in time to the person she cared most about in the world.

She turned, throwing her fist into the tree beside her, a sharp pain shooting up her arm.

A loud sob escaped her as she fell to her knees. She had ruined everything. She kneeled in the dirt crying for a couple of minutes, feeling the moisture from the ground soaking into her jeans. Her lips still burned from the kiss; the taste of Emily still on her tongue.

She was unable to wrap her mind around what had just happened. She felt extremely tired all of a sudden, her eyes closing as her tears continued to fall.

A few minutes later, she swiftly stood up; she suddenly realised she'd just let Emily walk off into the darkness of the woods all alone. There were way too many creeps in this town for it to be safe.

She began to run as fast as her intoxicated body would allow her, using the nearby trees for support. She eventually made it onto the dirt road, looking around for Emily frantically; she couldn't see her anywhere. She pulled out her phone, dialling Emily's number quickly.

No answer.

Paige doubted she would have gone back to the party, so she figured she might have started trying to walk back home.

Paige ran towards Noel's cabin. She would find Sean - shit, no. Not Sean. She would find Caleb, and get him to go find Emily and take her home. She flashed the now smudged stamp on her wrist at the bouncer who was still at the gate, walking quickly into the mass of people.

She looked around anxiously, finally seeing Caleb talking to a guy she thought was called Lucas but couldn't be sure. Paige rushed up to him, grabbing his arm and turning him to face her. Thankfully Hanna was nowhere in sight. "Caleb! You have to go get Emily," she gasped.

He looked surprised, taking in her appearance, his expression changing to concern. "What's happened?"

"It doesn't matter, just go get her. Please," she begged, trying to drag him towards the gate. "I think she started walking home, she's alone. She's upset. Caleb!"

Caleb finally started to move with her, throwing his drink carelessly onto the ground. He looked down, his eyes widening. "Paige, your hand. It's bleeding." He tried to take her hand to inspect it but she yanked it away.

"It's fine," she snapped. He looked like he was about to argue, but then thought better of it at the look on her face.

They were almost at his car. "You coming?" he asked, opening the door.

She shook her head. "I can't. She doesn't want to see me."

Caleb looked really confused, sighing in defeat. "Okay, but please go find Sean and get him to take you home. That hand needs to be put on ice, stat. And tell Hanna I'll be back soon if you see her." He slipped into the front seat, driving off down the road after Emily.

She watched the car disappear into the distance, feeling momentarily relieved before the night's events came rushing back and she felt tears pooling in her eyes once more. She sniffed, trying to push it to the back of her mind. She would need to keep herself together when she saw Sean.

She walked back into the party, this time acting remarkably calm considering the chaos going on inside her head.

After a few minutes (and a whole lot of ignoring the stares she was getting), she spotted Sean standing alone just outside the door of the cabin, still holding her jacket. When he saw her, he looked angry. "Where have you been?" he exclaimed. "I looked everywhere for you. Don't you answer your phone? I was starting to get worried."

Paige pulled out her phone, noticing that she did indeed have three text messages and two missed calls, all from Sean. "Sorry." She was taken aback by how hollow her own voice seemed.

Sean seemed to then actually look at her, realising that she had been crying. "What's wrong?" he asked, putting his hands on her arms. "God, you're freezing." He sat her jacket around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. She almost started crying again. Why was he being so nice? Why couldn't he see what a horrible person she was?

"Just take me home. Please?" Her voice was small and quiet.

Sean looked at her with a concerned expression. "Okay, let's go."

* * *

In the car, she mostly managed to avoid talking, although she did snap at Sean when he noticed her bleeding hand and wouldn't shut up about letting him see it. She told him that she'd fallen and cut it, but he didn't seem to buy it; however, he thankfully let it go.

Around halfway home, she got a text from Caleb.

_Emily's home safe and sound._

Paige had to take in deep, slow breaths in order to stop herself from breaking down there and then.

When they arrived outside her house, she couldn't even bring herself to kiss Sean goodnight. She quickly told him, "I'll text you tomorrow", before hurrying into her house and up to her room.

She didn't even bother getting undressed; she flung herself onto the bed and finally let it all out, crying herself to sleep.

Everything was fucked, and it was all her fault.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Paige_ **

She rolled over, burying her face deep into her pillow. Her body slowly started to wake; she could hear her parents talking and moving around in the kitchen downstairs.

She groaned, not ready to get up, trying to fall back asleep but something was stopping her. She became aware of the throbbing sensation in her hand, becoming conscious of the fact she was fully dressed; she even still had her boots on.

She forced her eyes open, immediately seeing her hand lying on top of the bedcover and the state it was in. It was swollen and her knuckles were crusted over with dried blood. She tried to move it and hissed in pain.

The memories from last night came flooding back. She squeezed her eyes shut again as a wave of anxiety washed over her, her stomach knotting.

_Emily._

A tear escaped from the corner of her eye, running over the bridge of her nose and dripping onto the pillow.

How could she have been so stupid? Her deepest fear had arisen to the surface last night, and her drunken mind had chosen to take it out on Emily in the worst possible way; she hated herself for it. Emily's hurt expression was burned behind her eyelids, an ache spreading inside her chest.

She slowly sat up, her head pounding; she was a hung-over mess. She looked around for her phone, not finding it in her pocket, finally spotting it on the floor when she leaned over the side of the bed.

She scooted off the mattress, picked up her phone and began pacing around her room. It was past 10am; she was surprised she had slept so late. Her heart leapt into her throat when she noticed she had two text messages. She went into her inbox, disappointment flaring when she saw that they were from Sean and Hanna.

She felt ridiculous; of course Emily wouldn't have text her. She wouldn't be surprised if she never text her again.

She opened the one from Sean. _Hey babe, just checking that everything's ok? Do you want to do something tonight and we can talk? x_

The guilt that she already felt multiplied as she read the message. She felt her headache getting worse; she couldn't cope with this right now.

She moved on to Hanna's text. _Are you ok? Caleb said you were upset last night. Call me when you get this._

 _Damn it, Caleb_. She sighed; she knew she couldn't be angry with him since he had obviously been concerned about her behaviour last night and he was just trying to let Hanna know that she might need her, but it was still an added complication that Paige could do without.

It suddenly crossed her mind what Emily might have told Caleb when he picked her up last night; she wouldn't have told him what happened, right?

Annoyance spread through her body at her own cowardice; what Emily may or may not have told Caleb was irrelevant right now; what mattered was Emily and Emily alone.

She sat on the edge of her bed, scrolling through her contacts and hovering over Emily's name. She stared at her phone for what must have been five minutes, trying to build up the courage to call her; the problem was, she had no idea what to say. What _could_ she say? How could she explain to Emily why she had said - that word - without actually _explaining_ it? She couldn't even bring _herself_ to truly think about why she had said it.

She shook her head, deciding that she would call Emily later when she had worked out what to tell her.

She gingerly changed into sweats and a t-shirt, taking care not to move her hand too much. She wasn't sure if she had imagined it or not, but she swore that the t-shirt she had been wearing smelt like Emily. She pressed it against her face, breathing in deeply, realising what she was doing and quickly throwing it into a corner of her room.

She walked down the hall to the bathroom, turning on the tap and running her hand under the warm water. She flinched in pain as she began to wipe the dried blood away, gritting her teeth at the sting; this was just physical proof of her stupidity last night.

She dried her hand tentatively on a nearby towel, grimacing when she saw that her hand didn't look much better. Shit. What was she going to tell her dad? He was going to be angry about it, that much she was sure. She couldn't swim with her hand like this, and their first swim meet of the season was only a couple of weeks away; she couldn't afford to have time off training. She almost started to cry again at the thought.

She managed to slowly flex her fingers; although it was painful, she was confident nothing was broken. Maybe she could sneak downstairs and put some ice on it, and hope the swelling and pain stopped by Monday.

She took in deep breaths, bracing herself against the sink and looking up at her reflection in the mirror. She looked like hell; there were dark circles under her reddened eyes; her eye make-up smudged; her skin pale. Her face felt stiff from all the dried tears. Her eyes focussed in on her lips, scenes from the night before starting to replay in her head.

She was holding Emily in her arms, their bodies close, their lips moving against each other, their tongues touching - Paige's stomach flipped, snapping her out of the reverie.

She quickly grabbed a face wipe from the bathroom cabinet, scrubbing her face aggressively. Once she looked presentable enough, she began to make her way downstairs. Her parents were sitting in the living room on opposite ends of the couch, her dad watching the sports channel and her mom reading the morning paper.

"Morning," she said, surprised at how hoarse her voice sounded. They looked over at her; she made sure to keep her hand out of sight.

"Morning," her mom smiled. "You slept late today; you must have been tired. Did you have a good time last night?"

Paige averted her eyes. "Yeah, it was okay. I'm going to get some water." She made her way into the kitchen, taking a bottle of water from the fridge and tucking it under her arm as she rooted around the freezer for an ice pack. She couldn't find one, deciding instead that a bag of frozen peas would do.

She heard her dad saying, "Back soon," followed by the sound of the front door closing. She was just about to sneak back upstairs when her mom entered the kitchen. There was no way she could have hid her hand or the bag of peas unless she literally put her hands behind her back, and she thought her mom might notice that too.

"Paige, what are you- your hand! What happened?" Her mom gently took her hand in hers, looking concerned.

"I fell," she replied lamely; it was blatantly obvious she'd punched something.

Her mom gave her a stern look. "Were you drinking last night?"

Paige was about to lie before she realised it would be pointless. "Yes," she sighed.

She shook her head. "Paige," she chastised. "Can you move your fingers?" With a bit of effort Paige managed to show her mom that she could indeed move her fingers.

"Good, I think you've just sprained it. Sit there," she said, pointing to the kitchen table. "I'm going to go get the first aid kit."

"Mom, it's really not that bad." Paige just wanted to go back to her room and crawl into bed.

"Sit." She huffed, taking a seat at the table.

Thankfully her mom didn't take long, returning with the first aid kit and a bottle of Advil. She opened Paige's water for her and gave her a tablet. "Here. You'll need to take this regularly 'til the swelling goes down." Paige swallowed the tablet down with water obediently as her mom began to clean the cuts on her hand properly.

"Do you think I'll be okay to swim on Monday?" Paige asked hesitantly. Her mom just gave her a doubtful look. "Can you tell Dad then? I can't face him shouting at me today." Tears sprang to her eyes; she was far too emotionally fragile right now.

"Hey, come here." Her mom pulled her into a hug, running a soothing hand up and down her back. Paige broke down once again, struggling to take gasps of air in between her sobs.

"I'm scared," she whimpered into her mom's shoulder.

"It's okay. You and your health come before swimming; your dad knows that." Paige hadn't been talking about that, but she didn't correct her. "Go on upstairs and get some rest. I think you could do with more sleep." Her mom pulled back, looking at her with worry and pushing a piece of hair behind her ear. "I'll tell Dad, don't fret."

Paige managed a watery smile and a quiet "Thanks" before taking the bag of frozen peas off the table and making her way back upstairs to bed.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

She was sitting at her window seat, where she had been sitting for the whole morning, her head resting against the cold glass of the window. She'd had a fitful sleep; tossing and turning the whole night.

Last night had started out like a wonderful dream; _she had kissed Paige._ It had been amazing; better than she ever could have imagined.

 And then it had turned into a living nightmare.

Her suspicions about the way Paige had acted around Maya had been right; she did have a problem with her being gay. So much so, that she'd heard Paige use a word that she'd never heard leave her mouth before.

Yes, they had kissed and Paige was obviously freaked out, but she still could have been nicer about it. Last night had been flat out rejection, Paige's homophobic language cutting deeper than she thought possible.

There was one thing she didn't understand though; Paige had definitely kissed her back, and it hadn't just been for a second- Paige had had her pushed against that tree for at least two minutes.

She grew angry at the thought. It wasn't fair for Paige to put this all on her. They had both been part of the alcohol-fuelled mistake that happened last night, and Paige would need to accept that.

She wondered if things between them could ever be the same again. She would need to live with the fact that she and Paige would never be more than friends; that much was clear. But the thought of losing Paige as a friend altogether was too much to bear. She would have to explain when they inevitably spoke that she didn't see Paige that way, and that it had just been the alcohol that had caused the kiss. If Paige found out that she actually had a crush on her, Emily couldn't even predict what that would do to their friendship. She wasn't sure Paige could handle that information; it would most likely mark the end of their closeness.

She sniffed as tears rolled down her cheeks. She kept looking desperately at her phone, wishing Paige would phone and make everything okay again and have some magical explanation as to why she had acted like that. She wanted to give Paige the benefit of the doubt and although it didn't hurt any less, she couldn't help but think that Paige hadn't really meant what she'd said.

When Caleb had drove up alongside her while she was walking home last night and offered her a lift, not taking no for an answer, thankfully he hadn't bombarded her with questions; instead, he had hesitantly started talking about Paige, telling her that she seemed really upset.

Emily knew Caleb must have figured out that they'd had an argument, but mercifully he didn't seem to know why, and she was going to keep it that way. No one else needed to hear about what had happened.

* * *

Emily crawled into bed for the night. The whole day had passed and she hadn't received one message or phone call from Paige; she didn't know whether she was more upset or more angry.

Emily considered sending the first text, but she realised that would send the wrong message; what Paige had said to her was wrong, and the ball was now in her court in regards to their friendship.

She sighed, closing her eyes, feeling like tonight was going to be another restless one.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

It was Monday morning, and Paige was ashamed of herself; she still hadn't contacted Emily. She kept putting it off and off, deciding mid-Sunday that she would just wait and speak to Emily at school.

She'd considered going a run before class to help clear her head, but in the end it didn't feel right to do without Emily.

They didn't share a class until third period, so Paige spent the whole morning unable to focus on her work, her leg shaking up and down under the desk in anxiety.

Paige made her way towards English, growing more and more nervous as she approached the door to the classroom. She entered, her eyes instantly going to Emily's seat. She wasn't there; disappointment settled in her stomach along with a little relief.

She took her seat next to Emily's empty desk. Emily usually always got to English before she did; maybe she was just running late today. She distractedly started pulling out her notebook and books she needed for the class, glancing back at the door every few seconds, willing Emily to walk through it.

Hanna was the last to enter the class; she spotted Paige, looking like she was coming over to speak to her, but Mr Fitz closed the door and was ready to start the lesson. Hanna looked disappointed as she took her seat a few rows down.

_Do you know where Emily is?_

She sent the text to Hanna discreetly under the table, watching as Hanna's fingers typed back a quick response.

_We need to talk after class._

Paige grew even more apprehensive at her words. She had no idea what Hanna was going to say.

* * *

Hanna waited outside the classroom for her when the bell rang. "Hey," Paige said, trying not to sound like there was a panic attack happening inside her head.

"Hey," Hanna replied. They began to walk towards their lockers. "So, I know you and Em have been fighting." Paige didn't think Hanna sounded angry; Emily must not have completely told her what had happened. "I have no idea what about though," she continued, confirming Paige's assumption. "Emily wouldn't say, and you wouldn't reply to any of my messages." Hanna shot her an irritated look.

"Sorry," Paige said honestly. "I've had a lot on my mind."

"You and Em don't even know that Spencer and Toby totally made out on Friday." Hanna clapped her hands together in excitement as they reached her locker.

Paige allowed herself a moment of happiness for Spencer, the first genuine smile she had given all weekend crossing her face. "Wow, really? That's great. So, are they like dating now?"

"Yeah, they really like each other. And I'm pretty sure Aria's seeing someone, but she won't tell me who which is pretty annoying." Hanna seemed to be momentarily distracted, eyebrows scrunching together. She gave a quick shake of her head. "Anyway, once we get Emily hooked up with Maya, we'll all be dating someone! I don't think that's ever happened before, has it?"

Paige cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Is that what you wanted to talk about?"

"Oh no, sorry. I wanted to ask why you and Em were fighting?" Damn; that subject change had definitely backfired.

Paige just shook her head, muttering, "It's complicated," as she opened her locker. "Where is Emily anyway?"

Hanna sighed in obvious annoyance at not knowing what was going on. "She said she's not well." Paige didn't think it was possible to feel even worse, but she did. Emily had stayed off school to avoid her; that was bad. _Really_ bad. "But I don't buy it. She seemed really down when I spoke to her. Whatever it is, Paige, surely it can't be that bad."

"Oh, trust me. It's bad," Paige said, looking at her feet in despair.

"Well, fix it then!"

"It's not that easy, okay? She probably hates me."

Hanna put a hand on her arm. "Hey." She sounded stern. Paige looked up at her, Hanna continuing, "Don't be ridiculous. Emily could never hate you, and if I know her well enough, she's already forgiven you and is just waiting on you to say sorry. Just get your head out of your ass and go see her."

Against all odds, Hanna's words actually comforted her slightly. She took in a deep breath. "You're right. I'll go apologise after school."

"Good," Hanna said, giving a small smile. "I expect things to be back to normal by tomorrow," she pointed, in a mock threat. Paige wasn't sure she would go that far, but she indulged Hanna and returned the hug she gave her.

* * *

Paige left school after her last class, her dad having called Coach Fulton to say she would probably be out for the week while her hand healed completely. Against her protests, he had driven her down to the emergency room to double check her hand wasn't broken or fractured; thankfully, it was just a bit bruised.

Her dad surprisingly hadn't gone through the roof after hearing about her injury, but she thought that might have had something to do with her mom telling him how worked up she was over it. Either way, it was one less thing to stress over.

She had just started off for Emily's when she heard someone shouting her name. She turned, seeing Sean making his way towards her. She closed her eyes briefly at his bad timing, guilt flaring up again. She had neglected Sean once more, barely speaking to him over the weekend.

He reached her. "Hey, I think we need to talk." He seemed serious.

She decided to play dumb. "What about?"

"You know what about, Paige," he sighed. "Why have you been ignoring me all weekend? In fact; no, you've basically been ignoring me the past couple of weeks. You keep shutting me out; what's going on?"

"Look, Sean. Can we talk about this later, I'm-"

He cut her off, sounding frustrated. "No, we can talk about this now. This is important."

"I know, and I want to talk, I really do, but I need to go see Emily."

Sean rolled his eyes.  "Would it kill you to put me first? You know, just for once?"

Paige felt awful. He was a great guy and he didn't deserve to be treated like this. She didn't know how to reply, opening and closing her mouth stupidly. He shook his head, beginning to walk away. "I'll speak to you later," she said quietly after him.

"Don't bother," he muttered, marching across the parking lot away from her.

Paige wondered how many more people she could hurt in this mess.

* * *

She walked up the path to Emily's house, her stomach churning, biting her lip nervously. She took a few deep breaths as she stood on the porch to steady herself, finally knocking the door.

She heard footsteps approaching from the other side, the door opening to reveal Emily's mom. "Hey, Mrs Fields, is Emily home?"

"Paige," she smiled. "Nice to see you, come in." She gave her a quick hug, handing her a bottle of water.

Paige looked at it with confusion, before Pam clarified. "Emily's not feeling well and asked me to bring her water, but since you're here you can take it up to her." She made her way to the sofa in the living room. "I hope you can cheer her up, she's been in an awful mood all weekend."

Paige nodded her head awkwardly, making her way upstairs to Emily's room. Her bedroom door was closed; she knocked lightly. After about ten seconds of silence, she opened it slightly, poking her head in.

Emily was lying in her bed, facing away from her. "Emily," she said. No reply.

She sighed, entering the room and closing the door behind her. She walked to the edge of the bed. "Emily," she repeated. Still no answer. She put her bag on the floor and moved around to the other side.

She was ready to say Emily's name again when she noticed that her eyes were closed; she was sound asleep, her body rising slowly up and down underneath the duvet, her hand clutching her phone tightly.

Paige allowed herself to watch her for a moment. Emily would have looked completely at peace if it weren't for the slight crease of her brow that Paige desperately wanted to smooth over with her thumb.

Okay, she shouldn't be staring like this.

"Emily," she said, the volume of her voice increasing. God, she had no idea Emily was such a heavy sleeper. She shook Emily's bare shoulder gently, saying her name again.

Emily's eyes opened slowly, seeing Paige hovering over her and smiling slightly before seeming to properly come to. She sat up abruptly, the duvet slipping to her waist as Paige's hand fell away from her shoulder.

Paige stepped back, placing the bottle of water on the bedside table and taking a seat at Emily's desk. "Hey," she said hesitantly. Emily didn't reply, instead frowned and wrapped her arms around herself. Paige noticed she was wearing a tank top; a very _tight-fitting_ tank top. She averted her eyes to the floor, waiting patiently for Emily to respond.

"What are you doing here, Paige?" Emily finally asked, her tone angry.

Paige swallowed. "I'm here to apologise for- for what I said."

"Yeah, well you're about two days too late." Emily pursed her lips together, looking away from her.

"Look, I know I should have contacted you earlier, but I didn't know what to say." She wrung her hands together, trying to find the words to explain. "I still don't know what to say." She stood up, walking to Emily's bed and perching on it uncertainly. "What I said - it was wrong. I didn't mean it, and I'll regret it for rest of my life." She paused, letting the words ring through the silence of the room. "I'm sorry, Emily."

Emily was now looking at her, tears shining in her eyes. Paige stared intensely back at her, trying to convey to Emily that she genuinely meant what she said.

Emily blinked, clearly thinking over Paige's words. "I forgive you," she said quietly. The relief that Paige felt was almost dizzying. "But," Emily continued. "I think we need to look at why you said- that word, in the first place." Paige looked down at the bedspread, waiting on Emily continuing. "I think you have issues with me being gay."

Paige's head shot up at that. "What? No-"

"Paige. It's okay. Some people take longer to adjust to the fact that their friend, daughter, son, whatever, is gay. And I don't mean to generalize, but you're dad's a deacon at the church; I know church can be a bit difficult when it comes to this. I understand why it might be hard for you."

Paige wanted to tell Emily she had got it all wrong. Paige didn't care Emily was gay; well actually, that wasn't true. Paige did care, but not for the reasons Emily thought. She wanted to correct her so badly, but she couldn't bring herself to.

"And it would definitely explain your irrational dislike for Maya." Emily looked at her, giving her a flicker of a smile, sighing. "So, I think it's best if I give you time to adjust. I won't mention Maya or any girl around you for the time-being, okay? Not 'til you get your head around it, at least."

Paige hated the idea. She hated that Emily thought she had to hide a part of herself from her. However, she just nodded her head at Emily's words; she would find a way to show Emily that she could be herself with her. She just didn't know how yet.

"And about the kiss-" Emily said, looking down, a blush covering her cheeks. "I'm sorry. That won't happen again. We were drunk and stupid; let's just forget it ever happened."

Emily's words stung; Paige tried not to let it show. Paige could never forget that kiss, even if she wanted to. Also, she had no idea why Emily was apologising as if she were the only participant. Paige wasn't even entirely sure who had initiated the kiss, it had happened so quickly, but she knew she hadn't been a victim in the matter.

"No more alcohol for us," she joked, trying to make light of the situation. Emily gave a small smile, lifting her hand out towards Paige before quickly retracting it.

This was Paige's fault; she had made Emily feel awkward to touch her. She quickly scooted forward on the bed, leaning in and wrapping Emily in a tight hug which Emily returned immediately. Paige turned her head into Emily's hair, inhaling deeply. It had only been two days, but Paige had missed her so much, and the possibility that she might never hug Emily close again had been painful.

Paige felt calmer than she had since Friday night. There was something about being held by Emily that made her feel content. The hug was starting to go on a little longer than a hug should, so she pulled back, a slight smile on her lips.

Emily was wearing a similar expression, Paige taking in her deep brown eyes, her gaze moving down to the subtle upturn of Emily's mouth. She suddenly found herself in a sort of trance, not moving back from Emily like she should be. She looked back up at Emily's eyes to find them searching her own with a hint of confusion.

She was just about to lean in when her phone buzzed, interrupting the moment. She backed away quickly, seeing she had a text from Hanna. She didn't know whether to curse her or thank her. She cleared her throat awkwardly. "So, I should probably get going."

"Yeah," Emily fidgeted, still sitting in her bed. She looked at Paige a moment, not saying anything. Paige wanted to run from the room but managed to reel the instinct in. She noticed Emily's eyes move down, focussing on her hand which was wrapped in a bandage. Her hand had felt a lot better today, but the hospital had recommended she still wore the support bandage. "By the way, what happened?" Emily pointed for emphasis.

"I punched a tree," Paige shrugged.

* * *

As she lay in bed that night, Paige couldn't sleep. She was still processing the conversation she'd had with Emily earlier that day, and what had almost happened. Again.

Now that things were semi-patched up between them, she was finding herself thinking about Emily's part in all of this. Deep down, she knew why she had kissed Emily, but she wasn't really sure why Emily had kissed _her._ Was it really just the alcohol? Or was there more to it?

Because Paige could swear that Emily had been with her there in the moment that occurred this afternoon in Emily's bedroom. Paige hadn't backed away from Emily, but Emily hadn't backed away from her either.

Could Emily like her?

No. That was ridiculous. She was being stupid.

But then again, that could explain why she wouldn't tell any of them who she had a crush on…

Paige felt her brain explode slightly at the idea that Emily could like her as more than a friend, her heart skipping a beat. She shook her head; this was too much to think about at this time of night.

She rolled onto her side, shutting her eyes with a sigh, only to open them a few minutes later in frustration; her mind just wouldn't shut off. She turned onto her back again, wide-awake. She glanced at the time, seeing it was just after midnight. After another few moments of restlessness, she decided she would just do what she usually did when she couldn't sleep.

She lifted her t-shirt halfway up her stomach, trailing a cool hand over her abdomen, trying to clear her mind. Closing her eyes again, she began to think of Sean; of kissing Sean; his hands were on her body, his lips on her neck.

She moved her hand upwards, squeezing her breast gently, her other hand sliding past the waistband of her pyjama pants, her fingers slipping into her underwear. She brushed over her clit, still imagining that Sean was peppering kisses over her throat; that it was his hand rubbing over her breast.

She circled her clit, but after a few minutes, she grew frustrated again; she was having trouble getting wet. She was about to give up when Emily suddenly flashed into her mind. Before she could stop it, Emily had replaced Sean, and it was now Emily's hand that was in between her legs; it was Emily's hand that was pinching her nipple.

She dipped a finger down, feeling wetness beginning to gather there. She knew she shouldn't let the fantasy continue, but in the darkness of her bedroom she allowed her mind to go where it wanted to go, just this once.

Emily's tongue licked at her neck, her head moving down. Emily took Paige's nipple into her mouth, sucking gently, Paige moaning quietly. Emily's fingers spread the wetness over Paige's clit, stroking slowly and steadily.

Emily moved further down her body; kissing in between her breasts; soft lips on her torso. Emily's mouth was on her hip, then kissing the inside of her thigh, then-

Paige came hard with a gasp, her hips straining up off the bed as she continued to rub, bringing herself down gently. She lay there, her breathing shaky and uneven, her body twitching with the aftershocks of her orgasm.

_Well, fuck._


	6. Chapter 6

**_Emily_ **

She was peering through the curtains in the living room, watching Paige pacing back and forth outside her house. She thought she looked agitated, which in turn caused _her_ to feel agitated. She was nervous that things were still going to be off between them, even though Paige had finally apologised to her yesterday afternoon.

Emily hoped that her proposal not to mention her love life around Paige would ease the pressure off of the situation between them and give Paige time to adjust to her being gay, but she couldn't stop thinking about that moment in her room when Paige had pulled back from hugging her. She definitely hadn't imagined Paige staring at her lips.

Or had she?

She was extremely confused. She wished that she could read Paige's mind and find out what she was really thinking; or even better, she wished that Paige would just tell her. She was definitely holding something back; Emily was sure of it.

There was a fleeting thought in her mind that maybe Paige wanted to kiss her again; that she liked her. She squashed it down quickly; there was no point setting herself up for even more heartache by dwelling on _that_ idea.

She realised she was still watching Paige from the window like some sort of creepy stalker. She cleared her throat, tightening her ponytail as she walked to the door; she stepped out, Paige almost getting whiplash at the speed her head spun to face her. _Yeah, something's definitely up_.

"Hey. Hi," said Paige, shifting from one foot to the other as Emily walked down the path.

"Morning," Emily replied, a hesitant smile on her face. "Are you okay? You seem like you've overdosed on caffeine."

Paige gave a shaky laugh, only looking her in the eye for milliseconds at a time. "What? Oh no, I'm just ready to run. Missing training yesterday has left me with a lot of energy."

Emily could see that; she was practically bouncing in front of her. "Okay..." Emily laughed, still bemused. "Let's go then." As soon as the words left her mouth, Paige shot off, Emily having to sprint to catch up with her.

Paige didn't show any signs that she was going to slow down any time soon, Emily having to use every ounce of effort to keep up with her. She thought about saying something, but her competitive side wouldn't let her; she wanted to prove to herself that she could keep up with Paige. That wasn't to say though that she wasn't desperate to reach their halfway point and have a brief walking break.

Paige started to pull ahead of her, Emily no longer able to match her pace. What on earth was she on this morning? Emily was irritated that she was losing the race that had developed, but that was until she saw the benefits of running behind Paige, allowing her eyes to roam over her body, taking in her perfect form.

She mentally berated herself; she was meant to be making Paige comfortable around her again. What would happen if Paige turned her head to see Emily blatantly perving on her?

They were approaching the halfway point; Emily started to slow down, breathing hard, her feet heavy. "Paige!" she gasped, noticing Paige still seemed intent on sprinting. "Wait!" Emily was embarrassed by how out of breath she was, crouching down on the ground, her leg muscles burning.

She heard Paige walking back towards her, panting heavily. Emily looked up at her, seeing she looked a bit faint, swaying on the spot.

"Whoa, are you okay?" She stood up, her legs shaky underneath her, putting a hand on Paige's shoulder and guiding her over to a nearby bench. They both slumped onto it, Emily making sure to leave a gap between them. Paige's elbows rested on her knees, her head parallel to the ground.

"Yeah," Paige wheezed, speaking to her feet. "Think I just overdone it a little."

Emily almost reached out to put her hand on Paige's back, but then remembered the decision she had made to let Paige determine their boundaries for now. She had to be patient while the balance of their friendship restored.

"No kidding," Emily snorted. "I can't move my legs."

Paige smiled, looking up at her. "Sorry, I assumed you'd be able to keep up."

Emily's jaw dropped, feigning offense. "Uh, excuse me; you're the one who looks ready to pass out."

Paige just laughed, causing Emily to do the same. "Okay, fair enough," Paige replied, grinning. For one glorious, fleeting moment Emily managed to forget about their current situation, forget about the weirdness between them, but then Paige's smile slipped, looking away again.

The laughter subsided, their breathing gradually returning to normal. Emily found herself wracking her brain for something to say, the silence between them loud and uncomfortable. She hated this; she and Paige had always been able to sit for ages not needing to say anything, able to just enjoy each other's company; she tried not to let it show how much the awkward tension was upsetting her.

"You ready to go?" she asked, incapable of sitting there a minute longer. Paige nodded, standing up slowly. "Let's take it easy, yeah? Some of us still have to go to practice later." She forced a smile, Paige giving her a brief one in return.

They started off walking slowly before settling on a light jog, Emily so distracted that she was surprised when they ended up back at her house, having no recollection of getting there. "So, do you want me to pick you up in about half an hour?" she asked, determined to stick to their usual routine.

"Actually, Sean offered to take me today," Paige answered, not meeting her eyes.

Emily's heart sank. "Oh, okay." There was another moment of silence, Emily observing Paige kicking at a pebble with her shoe. "See you at school then?"

"Okay, see you." Emily watched as Paige began to walk away in the direction of her own house without another glance, trying her hardest to stop the tears forming in her eyes.

It was only day one, she reminded herself. It was only day one.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

She could see the hurt in Emily's eyes at declining her offer of a lift to school; she felt guilty lying to her about Sean taking her, but she couldn't face a whole car journey alone with Emily.

She was still stunned and embarrassed at what she had done last night, a flush rising in her face at the memory. It had taken every effort to look Emily in the eye this morning, and even then she felt like she could only manage to do it for seconds at a time.

She walked slowly back to her house, lost in thought. She was cringing at how awkward she had been during their run. She had been so nervous about seeing Emily, her body so pumped up on adrenaline, that she had ran much faster than she had intended to.

At least she hadn't fainted when they had stopped; now _that_ would have been humiliating. She almost laughed at herself as she walked, feeling calmer and a little tired now that the nerves had subsided.

She reached her house just as her dad was leaving. "Hey."

"Hey, good run?" he smiled.

She contemplated her answer. "Yeah, actually." Her body had needed the exercise; she was thankful that she could still run since she would be out of the pool for the week.

"Good; remember and take it easy though, okay?" He squeezed her shoulder.

"Okay, Dad. I know." It was strange for him to be telling her to take it easy; he was usually the one pushing and pushing her. But she had to admit, she liked seeing this caring side of him. He walked past her to the car, Paige entering the house. She made her way upstairs, deciding to go for a quick body shower before school.

Whilst she stood under the warm stream of water, she mulled over the complicated situation that had developed with Emily. She didn't have a clue what to do about it, but she realised there was definitely one thing she could sort today.

She wrapped a towel around her body, making her way back into her room and picking up her phone. She quickly typed out a message to Sean, asking him if she could come over after school to talk.

She had no idea what the outcome would be; all she knew was that things couldn't stay the way they were.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

"Spence! Wait up," Emily shouted, Spencer looking around the busy school hallway trying to locate who had said her name. She smiled when she saw Emily approaching. "Hey."

"Em, hey. You feeling better?" Emily was briefly confused before she remembered she was meant to have been ill.

"Yeah; better than yesterday anyway, thanks," she smiled. "So, I hear things are going well with you and Toby?" She grinned excitedly.

"Yes! Thank you so much for that by the way, I don't know if we would have even talked on Friday if it weren't for you," Spencer gushed, giving her a one-armed hug as they walked.

"Glad to have helped." Emily looked ahead, seeing Toby waiting at the end of the hall. "Speaking of," she pointed, giving him a quick wave.

Spencer's whole face lit up at the sight of him. "Speak later?" Emily nodded as Spencer practically floated towards Toby. She was really happy for them; she was, but at the same time she felt a twinge of loneliness. She wanted that; well, maybe not the PDA part _just_ yet she thought, as Spencer and Toby started making out there and then, but she wanted the excitement a relationship brought; she wanted to be able to catch someone's eye from across the hallway and share a shy smile; she wanted to swap subtle touches that no one noticed but them; and most of all, she wanted that person to be Paige.

She walked to her locker, suddenly feeling depressed.

* * *

Emily sat down at their lunch table, Spencer and Hanna already there. She slumped into the chair, massaging her temples. "Who knew that missing one day of school could mean missing so much work?" They looked at her in sympathy.

"Tell me about it," said Hanna. "Our workload is crazy. Caleb and I now actually have to study during our study dates." Emily rolled her eyes playfully.

"I'm here to help if you need me," Spencer offered.

"Thanks," Emily smiled. She looked past Hanna and Spencer to see Paige and Aria entering the cafeteria, Paige bowing her head when their eyes met. Emily became overly interested in the salad she had in front of her as they took a seat at the table, Emily surprised to see Paige choosing to sit next to her rather than Spencer.

They flashed each other a small smile in greeting before Emily turned back to her lunch.

"Aww, so you guys made up then?" Hanna asked opposite her. Emily sensed Paige stiffen, Emily giving Hanna a swift kick to the leg. "Ouch," Hanna glared.

"You had a fight?" Aria asked, leaning forward in curiosity, Spencer's eyebrows rising in interest.

"Yeah, but we're fine now. It was nothing," Emily said hastily, unable to stop herself from taking Paige's hand under the table, stroking her thumb over the thin bandage she was wearing, trying to convey that she was never going to tell their friends what Paige had called her.

After a second, Emily felt Paige relax again; she was about to let go when Paige laced their fingers together, resting their hands on Paige's thigh. Emily risked a quick glance at her, seeing she was eating her lunch with her left hand, determinedly not looking at her.

_What is happening?_

Aria and Spencer looked like they still wanted to know more. "Basically I was a drunken idiot," Paige clarified through a mouthful of food.

"Ahh, understood," nodded Spencer, starting to tell a story about the time she had said awful things to Melissa one night when she was drunk, but Emily couldn't focus on what she was saying.

She couldn't keep up with Paige; one minute they were acting horrendously awkward with each other, and the next, they were holding hands. "Sorry, what?" Emily asked, as she realised Hanna was speaking to her.

"I said, why are you smiling?" She felt four pairs of eyes on her, cursing her inability to hide her emotions when it came to Paige, a heat creeping up her neck and into her cheeks.

"No reason; just thinking of something," she mumbled back.

"Oh, I know," Hanna said, grinning as she looked around the cafeteria. "Where is she?"

"Where's who?" Emily replied, confused.

"Maya," Hanna stated as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. Emily felt Paige releasing her hand from under the table.

Emily loved Hanna, she really did, but right now she felt like strangling her. "How should I know?" she snapped, unable to conceal her annoyance. "I didn't see her."

"Sorry, my bad," Hanna said, obviously taken aback by her tone, Emily feeling instantly guilty.

Emily sighed, keeping her voice low so as not to be heard by anyone passing their table. "Look, I appreciate that you're just trying to help, but even though I'm out to you guys, I'm not ready to be out to the whole school yet. Not like Maya."

Maya had only been at Rosewood High for just over a week, and already everyone seemed to know she was bi. Emily didn't know how she did it; did she wear a post-it on her head saying 'bisexual' on it or something?

"And I already told you, I'm not sure I like Maya in that way," she added, feeling like she was saying that to Paige more than anyone else at the table, even though she was looking directly at Hanna.

"Okay, message received, Em," Hanna said, seeming to forgive Emily for being irritable with her. "But if you ever need my help, just say," she winked.

Emily shook her head with a smile, which vanished as she became aware of how empty her hand now felt without Paige's fingers interlocked with her own.

The bell signalling the end of lunch rang shortly afterwards, Emily making her way to Biology on autopilot. She tapped her fingers nervously on her phone, feeling some weird compulsion to text Paige.

_I don't really know why I'm telling you this, but I really didn't see Maya in the cafeteria._

She re-read the message at least five times, trying to analyse in her head how her it might come across and how Paige might respond. She hit 'send' quickly before she could change her mind, her heart racing as she watched the message disappearing into cyberspace.

She looked at her phone, growing anxious when Paige didn't respond within ten seconds. She breathed out slowly, trying to calm down, praying she hadn't just made a huge mistake.

She took her seat next to Toby at their desk, trying to pay attention to what he was saying. Like Spencer earlier that day, he was thanking her for her part in getting them together.

"Don't mention it, Toby. I knew you two were perfect for each other; you're the only two people I know who take Scrabble _that_ seriously," she laughed, trying to stop herself from staring at her phone.

Toby grinned, starting to look over the worksheets that had been put out in front of them. Emily tried to do the same, but her brain wasn't processing what she was reading.

Her phone lit up in her hand; she had never read a text so fast in her life. She stared at the word on the screen.

_Okay._

Emily's brow scrunched together; what did that mean? Did Paige mean 'Okay, why would I care?' or did she mean 'Okay, I understand what you're saying' or did it mean something else altogether?

She had no idea what was going on, but even through the confusion, Emily couldn't stop the nervous excitement building inside her, the butterflies in her stomach in overdrive. What if-? Could Paige-?

She put her phone away in her pocket, biting her lip to stop the smile spreading across her face.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

Had Emily just implied what she thought she had?

She was sitting in Chemistry, staring out the window in thought. What other way was there to take it?

Her heart was telling her that Emily may have just indirectly told her she liked her, but her brain was telling her that there was some other interpretation of the message that she was totally missing.

Emily, according to Hanna, had been smiling for no apparent reason at lunch; Paige had instinctively removed her hand at the mention of Maya, feeling a pang of hurt at the fact that Emily was smiling about Maya while holding her hand. But then it had become clear that Maya hadn't even been in the cafeteria, so it was safe to assume that Emily could be smiling about holding her hand, right?

She kept going back and forth, being totally convinced Emily must like her, and then feeling like she was being ridiculous and that was absolutely not the case. She ran a hand through her hair in frustration. She didn't know what was more terrifying; Emily having a crush on her or Emily _not_ having a crush on her.

One thing was starting to become evident though; kissing Emily had awakened something in her that she felt powerless to stop. She had thought a lot about it last night after she-

She grew uncomfortably warm, once again embarrassed.

Anyway, she had surprised herself at her confidence in keeping Emily's hand in hers when Emily had reached out to her at lunch. She hadn't overthought it; she had just let her hand do what it had wanted to do. She had also been amazed at how natural it had felt, their hands fitting together perfectly.

She gulped, a wave of anxiety washing over her at what that could mean.

'Okay' had been the only answer she could think of to reply to Emily that would show her that she thought she had understood her message, while at the same time being incredibly vague, just in case; she didn't want their friendship to become even more strained by another misunderstanding.

She sighed, wishing that life wasn't so damn hard.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

She was on her way to practice when she caught sight of Paige at her locker. She stopped in the middle of the hallway, debating with herself whether to go straight to the natatorium or go speak to Paige first. She didn't even know what she would say; she just wanted to talk to her.

She took in a breath, about to walk towards her when Sean came up behind Paige, putting his arm around her shoulders. Emily watched as Paige turned to look up at him, a smile crossing her face. Paige shut her locker, beginning to make her way with Sean towards the exit of the school, jealousy burning through Emily's veins as Sean took Paige's hand.

She closed her eyes, feeling incredibly stupid. Paige had a boyfriend; Paige was _straight_. And the sooner she got that into her head and accepted that her dreams of being with Paige were only ever going to be fantasy, the better.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

Sean seemed in an overly good mood today. He wasn't being short-tempered with her like he had been yesterday afternoon; she guessed it had something to do with her asking to talk after school. He seemed to be under the impression that they were going to patch things up, which was kind of awkward since Paige was planning on letting him go.

She knew he would be upset; they had been dating for over a year. But she had to remind herself that she was doing this for him; he didn't deserve to deal with her bullshit while she tried to figure out what was going on in her head.

Maybe one day they could be together aga- she didn't even bother finishing the thought.

She wanted to pull her hand from his as they made their way across the lot to his car, but she decided just to go with it; it would probably be the last time they held hands, after all.

Sean drove them to his house, his parents thankfully out; Paige didn't feel like talking to Reverend Ackard today. "You want a drink?" he asked as they entered the kitchen.

"Sure," she said, taking a seat at the table, beginning to feel uncomfortable in anticipation of what she was about to do. He gave her a bottle of orange juice from the fridge, sitting in the chair beside her.

"So, I'm glad you finally want to talk," Sean smiled, resting his hand on her thigh. "I feel like you've not been letting me in recently." He stared at her hopefully, as if she was going to explain everything away. When she didn't say anything, he tapped her lightly on the head. "Come on, what's going on inside that McCullers brain?"

This was worse than she thought it was going to be. He was too close to her; she didn't want to be able to see every inch of pain cross his face as she broke his heart. She stood up, his hand falling away from her leg, his face becoming serious at her sombre expression. She began pacing around the kitchen as she tried to find the words to say.

"Paige?" He sounded worried.

"Look, I have a lot of things going on right now," she started. "Things are...confusing."

"So, talk to me," Sean said, sounding exasperated. "I can't help if you shut me out."

Paige looked at her hands, twisting her fingers together. "That's the problem; I'm not sure you _can_ help." She glanced at him without lifting her head, her brow creasing. It was starting to register with Sean where this was going.

"What are you trying to say?" he said, standing up.

"I'm sorry, Sean." She couldn't stop the tears forming in her eyes at the look on his face. "But I think we should break up."

He stared at her, momentarily shocked, finally looking away, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes tightly. "Why?" he managed to say.

"I need to figure stuff out, and it's not fair for me to mess you around while I do that." She walked over to him, placing her hand on his arm in comfort. "I'm sorry." And she genuinely was.

He looked at her, his eyes shining with unshed tears. He leaned in, pressing his lips against her own, kissing her gently; she allowed him to.

She scrunched her face up as her tears started to fall freely, realising that she had never felt that spark kissing Sean that she had felt when she had kissed Emily. She was slowly starting to acknowledge a part of herself that had always been there, just been buried.

She pulled away, stepping back from him. She sniffed as she looked at her feet.

"So that's it then? After all this time, you're just ending it? And with that crappy reasoning?" Anger was starting to creep into his voice through the hurt. Paige didn't blame him; from his perspective, this was probably completely out of the blue.

She could only nod sadly, seeing Sean's jaw twitch as he clenched his teeth. "Fine," he stated. He sat back down at the table, pointedly not looking at her.

"Goodbye," she said in an almost whisper, and with that, she walked down the hall and out the front door. She sobbed as she made her way home, the streets thankfully quiet.

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and although she was upset, she felt oddly free; she realised that she hadn't just done that for Sean's benefit, but also her own. She took in deep breaths, trying to regain control of her breathing. Finally, she had done something right.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Emily_ **

She clicked the stopwatch before pulling herself out of the water, sitting at the edge of the pool. She took off her goggles, looking at her time and sighing; definitely not her best. Emily ran a hand over her face in frustration. If they were going to win the meet next Friday, she would need to be better than this.

She removed her swim cap, feeling her hair cascade down her back, her feet kicking lightly in the water, watching flecks fly into the air as her thoughts drifted back to Paige.

Well, not that her brain had ever shut up about her; that was the reason for her crappy swim times. She would need to pull herself together; even Coach Fulton had noticed that she'd been distracted yesterday afternoon at practice, pulling her aside and asking if everything was alright.

Emily had reassured her that everything was fine, she was just having an off day; she'd promised she would be back on form for today, but right now that didn't seem to be happening.

She stood up, making her way to Coach Fulton's office to return the stopwatch she had borrowed. She had expected the office to be empty, so she was surprised to find Coach sitting sorting through paperwork at her desk.

"Oh, hey. Just returning this," Emily said, holding up the stopwatch and placing it on the desk. Coach Fulton picked it up, looking at Emily's time that was still on the screen. Damn, she had meant to reset that.

"Still having trouble, Emily?" Coach Fulton asked, eyebrows rising in concern.

Emily wanted to deny it, but since Coach had seen her time it would be useless. "It appears so," she answered, running a hand through her hair.

"You know I'm here to talk to if anything is bothering you." Coach Fulton gazed up at her until Emily looked away. "It's obvious something is on your mind."

"I'm fine, honestly," Emily replied, uncomfortable.

After a moment, Coach Fulton said, "Well, okay then. I'll see you this afternoon." Emily was about to leave when she added, "Oh, and you're anchoring the relay next Friday."

"What?" Emily's head spun back to face her. "Seriously?" She couldn't stop the grin that spread across her face.

"Seriously," Coach Fulton echoed with a smile. "Now, use that to focus on getting those times back."

Emily was lost for words; she really hadn't been expecting to anchor their first meet with the way she had performed yesterday. "Thanks so much, Coach. I won't let you down."

She made her way to the locker room, a smile still on her face.

* * *

Emily was sitting in the courtyard during her free period trying to get some homework done when she spotted Aria walking by, totally oblivious to her sitting there. "Aria!" she shouted.

Aria looked around, seeming surprised to see her. "Hi, Em, what are you doing?" she asked, walking over.

"Just trying to get some assignments done," Emily stated, gesturing to the pile of work in front of her. "Where are you off to? You looked like you were on a mission."

"Just going to see Mr Fitz," Aria said, clearing her throat. "Have some questions to ask him about the essay."

"Anything I can help with?" Emily asked, noticing Aria was fidgeting as if she was dying to get away from her.

"Thanks, but my questions are kinda...specific." Emily had no idea what that was supposed to mean. "Anyway, better get going, see you later."

"Wait!" Emily hadn't seen any of her friends yet to tell them the news. "Guess who's anchoring the first meet of the season?"

Aria grinned, giving her a hug. "That's great, congrats!" Emily noticed Aria's smile falter slightly. "Have you told Paige yet?"

"No, why?" Emily asked, suddenly worried. Surely Paige wouldn't have been expecting to anchor since she had to miss practice this whole week?

"I guess since we didn't see you this morning you missed it," Aria mumbled. "But Paige and Sean broke up." Emily felt her jaw drop, her eyes wide. "I know," Aria nodded, raising an eyebrow. "Surprising; I thought they were doing really well."

"D-did she say why?" Emily stuttered, stunned by the news.

"No. She seemed pretty upset about it so we didn't ask. I'm sure she'll tell us when she's ready," Aria said sadly, looking at her watch. "Sorry, Em, but I really need to go. Congrats again, and try be gentle when you tell Paige?"

"Sure," Emily nodded distractedly. "See you." Emily watched Aria walk into the school until she disappeared around a corner. Her mind was reeling; her first instinct was to go and see Paige, but then she remembered she would be in class right now.

Did this have anything to do with her? Or had something else happened between Paige and Sean that she was unaware of? She swallowed, her throat suddenly very dry.

She also started to feel guilty for intentionally avoiding Paige that morning; she had just needed a bit of space to get her head in check and return to the reality of the two of them being friends and nothing more.

But now…

Now she had no idea what to think.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

The hallway was busy as Paige weaved in and out of people, trying to make her way to the cafeteria for lunch; before she could get there however, a hand touched her arm, pulling her into an empty classroom.

Emily closed the door, turning to her with a look of concern. "Are you okay? I heard what happened."

Paige was ready to give the answer she had prepared; the answer that would sweep everything under the carpet for now. But looking into Emily's eyes, she found that she couldn't lie. She wasn't fine; she wasn't okay; it felt like her life had been totally turned upside down and she had no idea what to do about it.

She shook her head quickly, eyes filling with tears. Emily didn't hesitate; she stepped forward, wrapping Paige in a tight hug, Paige gripping onto her for dear life. She sobbed into her shoulder as Emily murmured "It's okay" over and over into her ear.

Paige didn't know how long she cried for, but it must have been a while since she noticed Emily had moved them to sit on the floor against the classroom wall, Emily's arm around her shoulder, Paige tucked into her side.

Paige was thankful that Emily was just letting her get it all out, not asking any questions that she knew she must be wanting to ask, the first one being why did she break up with Sean.

She felt like she could fall asleep right here in Emily's arms. Her eyes closed, shuffling in even closer to her side. After a second, she felt Emily shaking slightly. She looked up to find her trying to suppress laughter.

"What?" Paige sniffed, wiping a hand over her face. God, she must look a state.

Emily looked at her, amusement shining in her eyes. "Nothing, I just think that whoever's classroom this is might mind if you fall asleep in here."

Paige managed a smile. "I feel so emotionally drained that I could sleep for a hundred years." She looked into Emily's eyes, wondering if Emily realised why she was really crying, wondering if she realised that this had nothing to do with Sean. Emily smiled at her softly. _Yeah, she knows_.

Emily cautiously lifted her hand, wiping away the remaining tears on her face with the pad of her thumb, Paige looking away bashfully. She suddenly noticed the damp patch that she'd left on the shoulder of Emily's shirt. "Sorry," she mumbled, rubbing her hand over it as if that would magically dry it.

"Doesn't matter," Emily said quietly. They sat in silence for a moment, Emily's arm still around her, her fingers playing with Paige's hair. "Listen, I need to tell you something," Emily finally said. Paige gulped, shifting uncomfortably; she was scared Emily was going to say something she wasn't ready to hear. "I know the timing's not great, but I wanted you to hear it from me. Coach asked me to anchor next Friday."

Paige felt relief wash over her, calming at the fact Emily was talking about swimming and not what was happening between them. Affection swelled inside her at seeing how torn up Emily looked about telling her something so minor; Paige had thought it was a given that Emily would get the anchor spot.

She laughed lightly. "Of course you are." Emily raised her eyebrows. "Em, I'm your strongest competition, and since I'm out for the week it's no surprise Coach gave you the spot. It's fine, honestly."

Emily visibly relaxed. "Okay, good. I didn't want to make your day even worse." Did Emily not realise she was the only thing making this day _bearable_?

Paige was working up the courage to say as much when the bell rang; she sighed, lifting herself from the floor, missing Emily's warmth instantly. She held a hand out to Emily to help her up.

"Do I look awful?" Paige asked. "I don't want everyone to know I've been crying."

Emily's eyes ran over her face, giving her a gentle smile. "You could never look awful." Emily turned from her, opening the classroom door and walking out into the hallway.

Paige followed slowly after her, the butterflies in her stomach going crazy.

* * *

It was the day before their meet, and Paige was currently racing Emily in the pool for fun. She could feel Emily matching her pace as she done a flip turn, kicking back off the wall hard, cutting through the water quickly towards the other side of the pool again.

Her hand touched the wall; she pulled her goggles up to rest on her forehead, looking across to see Emily doing the same. They stared at each other, grinning.

"So, who won?" Emily asked.

"Me, obviously," Paige said, even though she had no idea who had touched the wall first.

Emily laughed, edging along the ledge of pool towards her. "Why should I believe you?"

"Because I'm extremely trustworthy, I'll have you know," Paige stated, pursing her lips together trying to keep a straight face. Emily snorted, moving her hand quickly through the pool to splash water at her. "Hey!" Paige exclaimed, splashing back through her laughter.

"It was a tie, girls."

Both their heads shot up in the direction of the voice; Coach Fulton must have seen their race from her office. Paige hadn't even known she was in yet; it was still pretty early in the morning. "Good to see you both back on form; we should do well tomorrow," Coach Fulton smiled. "Just make sure you don't tire yourselves out."

Paige watched Coach Fulton walk back towards her office, feeling embarrassed. She had been caught messing around with Emily when they were meant to be seriously training for the meet tomorrow.

The past week had been great between them; they had settled back into their easy routine. There were no longer uncomfortable silences between them, or that awful awkward tension that had plagued them the days following the kiss.

There was _some_ tension there, Paige admitted, but it was a totally different type; it was the type of tension that made you nervous and sent your heart racing; it was exciting.

They hadn't discussed Paige's break-up with Sean any further, or the texts that they had sent after holding hands at lunch, but Paige felt like they had some sort of unspoken understanding. Emily was being patient with her as Paige processed this newfound attraction to her best friend.

Paige still found it weird, admitting to herself that she was attracted to Emily. It had scared her the first time she had truly let herself think it, but she was slowly becoming less terrified of the idea. The fun and teasing that they had always shared had returned, but this time Paige viewed it differently; she was pretty sure they were _flirting_.

They swam a few more laps before pulling themselves out of the water and making their way to the locker room. They changed quickly behind their locker doors, Paige now feeling self-conscious when she undressed in front of Emily; she made sure to keep her gaze firmly in the opposite direction of where Emily was changing.

When they were sat on the bench putting on their shoes, Emily spoke.

"So, I was thinking," she said, glancing at Paige. "Do you want to come over tomorrow night? We could watch a movie or something. My parents are going out for the evening." There was an awkward pause as they both registered what Emily had just said. "I mean, we can watch a movie on the big TV in the living room since they'll be out," she added quickly, a blush covering her face as she focused on lacing up her boots.

"Uh..." Paige started, trying to stifle the panic that had arisen; she hadn't expected Emily to invite her over. She took a calming breath, deciding just to go with it. "Sure."

Emily gave a nervous smile. "Okay, great." Emily had finished putting her boots on and was sort of just standing there. She seemed to realise this, quickly shaking her head. "So, see you in English?"

"See you in English," Paige nodded with a smile.

Paige propped her foot up onto the bench as she tied the laces on her own boot, her chin resting on her knee. Her smile turned into a grin as she thought about the fact that Emily had just asked her over for a movie date.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

Music blared through her earbuds as she waited at the side of the pool for the meet to start. Swimmers were starting to take their places on the starting platforms; Emily watched as Paige shrugged off her swimming jacket, stepping up onto the platform.

Paige looked around, her eyes settling on her. Emily gave her a reassuring nod, mouthing 'we can do this'. Paige gave a firm nod of her own, pulling her goggles down over her eyes and getting into position.

Adrenaline coursed through Emily's veins; she was ready to go. If they won this relay, they won the meet. It was important to get a good start to the swimming season if they wanted to beat Oakwood High in the annual championship.

A whistle blew, the five starting swimmers diving into the pool. Emily watched as Paige moved smoothly through the water, easily taking the lead. Pride swelled inside her as Paige increased the gap further; unless Brooke and Claire performed horribly, Emily wouldn't have much to do to ensure their win.

Paige reached the side, Brooke diving in above her. Paige heaved herself out of the pool, shooting Emily a quick smile as she observed the lead she had given them, taking the towel that Coach Fulton handed her.

Emily removed her jacket and earbuds as Brooke returned and Claire dived in. She could now hear the crowd roaring around them; she tried to tune them out as she took to the platform, but not before she heard Hanna shouting loud and clear, "Go Emily!"

She pulled her goggles down, seeing Claire making her way towards her. They had lost a bit of their lead but were still currently winning. Emily had no doubt; they would win this.

Emily dived into the water, her strong muscles powering through the pool easily, her flip turn perfect. It was over before she knew it, her team mates practically pulling her from the pool in celebration of their win. Emily hugged them back, but her eyes were searching for Paige. She finally spotted her coming towards her with a huge smile on her face, Paige wrapping her arms around Emily's waist and lifting her off the ground slightly.

"Well done, you did it," Paige said into her ear.

Emily pulled back, correcting her. "No, _we_ did it." They grinned at each other before they were separated by other members of the team, their eyes finding each other again over the shoulders of the girls they were hugging.

* * *

Emily paced back and forth with nerves, constantly checking the time. She was starting to doubt if inviting Paige over had been a good idea. There was a lot to talk about between them and she had no idea if and when to bring it up. She desperately wanted to, but she was trying to give Paige time to bring it up on her own.

The doorbell rang; she instantly darted towards it. She paused for a few seconds with her hand on the door knob so it didn't look like she had been waiting by the door. She finally swung it open to reveal an anxious looking Paige.

"Hey," Emily smiled, touching Paige's arm as she walked past, trying to convey that there was no reason to be stressed, trying to remind herself the same; they were just going to watch a movie.

"Hey," Paige replied, taking off her jacket and hanging it up beside the door. They heard footsteps coming down the stairs, looking up to see her dad dressed smartly in a suit. "Looking good, Mr Fields," Paige smiled.

"Thanks, but wait 'til you see Pam," he grinned. "Good job out there today by the way, you gave the team a great lead." Emily looked at Paige proudly, watching as her head dipped in that adorable way it does when she receives a compliment.

"It was nothing," Paige said, waving her hand.

"It wasn't 'nothing'," Emily interjected. "It was amazing." Paige lifted her head, eyes looking into Emily's, smiling softly.

Her dad turned his head as her mom made her way down towards them. "Wow, Mom, that dress is amazing," Emily gushed.

"Thanks, honey," she said as she lifted her jacket off the stand beside them. "Hi, Paige," she added. "Well done today."

"Thanks," Paige said. "Have a nice time tonight." Paige moved over to the couch out of the way of the door.

"We will; you girls be good now." Emily flushed slightly at her mom's poor choice of words. "There's snacks in the kitchen, help yourselves. We should be home around eleven."

They said their goodbyes and made their way out the door. Emily closed it after them with a thud, the house filling with a deafening silence all of a sudden. She walked into to the living room, picking the remote up off the coffee table and switching on the TV to create some noise.

"So, you want to make popcorn and then we can watch the movie?" Emily asked awkwardly.

"Okay," replied Paige, standing up and following Emily into the kitchen.

Emily looked through the cupboards for the microwave popcorn while Paige set about pouring drinks of apple juice. Emily was mildly alarmed to notice that her hands were shaking; she tried to compose herself as she put the popcorn in the microwave. _Calm down. Relax._

"What are we watching then?" Paige asked as they waited.

Emily smiled as she left the kitchen briefly to get the DVD she had bought for Paige coming over. She returned, handing the box to her.

"' _The House at the End of the Street_ '? Seriously, Em?" Paige laughed.

"What? It could be good; I've heard some decent reviews."

Paige snorted. "Yeah, and a lot of crap ones as well. I've heard that it's bad, and not even the good kind of bad."

Emily snatched the DVD back out of Paige's hands as the microwave beeped. "Tough, we're watching it," she stated playfully, Paige rolling her eyes.

Emily emptied the warm popcorn into a bowl, lifting the DVD off the counter with her other hand. "Grab the drinks," she said to Paige, going back into the living room, exhaling a shaky breath.

**_Paige_ **

She lifted the glasses off the counter, trailing after Emily as she willed herself to calm down. Her heart was beating incredibly fast which was ridiculous; how many times had they watched a movie together?

She reached the living room where Emily was placing the bowl of popcorn on the table before making her way with the DVD to put it in the player. Paige placed the drinks beside the popcorn and sat in the armchair that she always sat in when at Emily's house. It dawned on her that she should probably sit beside Emily on the couch, but it was too late. Emily had already turned back to her and seen her sitting there; it would look too weird to change seats now.

Paige questioned if she saw a flash of disappointment cross Emily's face, but it was gone in an instant, Emily saying, "Lights on or off?"

Paige pretended to think hard about that question. "Hmm, better put them off. This movie is gonna need all the help it can get to scare me." Emily shook her head with a small smile, flipping the switch of the main light then leaning over to turn off the lamp, taking her seat on the side of the couch closest to Paige.

They were shrouded in darkness as they waited for the DVD to load. Paige felt instantly more at ease in the dark, removing her boots and curling her legs up underneath her.

Emily pressed play on the menu, the movie starting up with some sinister sounding music. Paige took a handful of popcorn out of the bowl Emily held out towards her, Emily's eyes fixed on the screen.

Paige found it hard to concentrate on the movie; her gaze constantly kept moving back to Emily's face, which was lit up by the glow of the TV. She quickly looked away as Emily's eyes met hers, Paige leaning forward to get her drink off the table, feeling the need to do something to cover up that she'd just been caught staring.

She could still feel Emily's eyes on her as she took a sip of her drink, but she avidly avoided looking back in her direction.

They sat in silence as they watched the movie. A guy was putting food on a tray and making his way down into the basement of his house. Paige's mind was still thinking of Emily, so she wasn't prepared for the sudden jumpy moment when a girl attacked the guy as soon as he opened a door in the basement.

Paige had leapt slightly in her seat, and had unfortunately been holding her drink at the time. She felt the apple juice seeping into the front of her t-shirt, feeling it sticking to her skin as she heard Emily laughing loudly. "I can't believe the mighty Paige McCullers just got a fright from that."

"Shut up," Paige mumbled through a smile of her own as she stood up, going to get some paper towels to wipe her t-shirt with.

She returned, feeling a wave of confidence come over her to fix her earlier mistake. She walked past the arm chair, standing in front of Emily on the couch. Emily looked confused for a second, before she realised that Paige wanted her to scoot over so she could sit beside her; Paige didn't miss the look of surprise on her face.

"What?" Paige said, feeling like she had to explain herself. "I'm cold now." She backed up her statement by pulling the blanket that had been resting on the back of the couch onto the two of them, opening it up to make sure they were both covered fairly.

Paige leaned forward to grab the bowl of popcorn, putting it in the small gap between them and trying to concentrate back on the movie; it was easier said than done however. She was hyperaware of Emily's movements next to her, their arms brushing every time Emily reached for the popcorn.

The fourth time it happened, Paige couldn't bear it anymore. She stopped Emily's hand before it made its way into the bowl, instead pulling her arm across her onto the blanket that was covering her legs. She began to trace patterns with her fingers over the incredibly soft skin of Emily's inner forearm, her other hand playing with Emily's fingers.

**_Emily_ **

Her breath hitched; she looked to her side, but Paige wasn't looking at her. Much like that day at the lunch table, she was staring straight ahead, the light of the TV illuminating her face.

Emily's heart was in her throat; this time it was just them; they were completely alone in the house, no one to interrupt them; no alcohol to blame for their closeness.

She shifted to her left slightly so that she was now leaning against Paige, hesitantly resting her head on Paige's shoulder while Paige's fingers gently stroked up and down her arm. She wanted to kiss Paige so badly, but as much as she knew in her heart that 'just friends' didn't sit like this, there was still a fear in the back of her mind that Paige could react like she did the last time they had kissed. Paige would have to make the first move.

After a few minutes, Paige's hand travelled up to her inner elbow, her touch feather-light; Emily couldn't stop the shiver that spread through her body. She felt Paige's head move slightly, feeling her eyes on her. This was it; this was the moment she had been waiting for.

Emily lifted her head slowly from Paige's shoulder, turning to look into her eyes. She could only really make out the side of her face that was lit up by the TV, but she saw Paige's gaze fixate on her mouth. She held her breath as Paige dipped her head slightly, their noses bumping before she brushed her lips softly against Emily's.

Paige pulled back about an inch, waiting a moment as if she was breathing Emily in, before connecting their lips once more, this time Emily responding.

 _Finally_ was all Emily could think as she melted into Paige. This kiss was much slower than their previous, as if each brush of their lips was carefully planned. Paige reached out to grip her right wrist, pulling her hand up to rest on her neck as she flicked her tongue into Emily's mouth.

Emily's thumb rested on Paige's jaw, feeling it move as Paige's mouth worked against her own. Her fingers moved back to tangle into Paige's hair, leaning even more heavily into her.

They kissed like that for a while, before Emily became aware that her left arm had become sort of trapped between their bodies; she leaned back a fraction to free it, her left hand then joining her right in Paige's hair. Paige had used her movement to wrap her hands around her waist, pulling Emily more towards her, resulting in Emily practically straddling Paige's lap.

They stared at each other in the darkness momentarily, slightly stunned at this new position, before their mouths met with a renewed fervour; their kisses faster; deeper; their tongues battling each other. Paige's hand roamed all over her back, up her sides, along the outside of her thighs where her fingers dug into the skin underneath her jeans. Emily hummed, her hands tightening in Paige's hair, pulling lightly.

Paige groaned quietly into her mouth, and Emily couldn't stop herself from smiling into the kiss. She couldn't believe this was actually happening.

"What's funny?" Paige murmured, capturing Emily's bottom lip between her own and sucking lightly.

God, Paige was trying to kill her. She didn't answer her question, instead pushing her further into the couch, pressing herself as close as possible. Paige's lips broke away from her own, kissing along her jaw, trailing down her neck.

Emily tipped her head back to allow Paige better access; Paige peppered kisses all over her throat, goosebumps spreading all over Emily's body. Emily felt Paige's tongue flick out, tasting her skin, her lips latching onto her pulse point, sucking gently.

Emily gasped, holding Paige's head close to her neck as Paige's hands travelled from the underside of her thighs to land firmly on her ass, squeezing softly. Emily's hips rolled into Paige of their own accord; she was incredibly turned on and was starting to become aware of the wetness between her legs.

She brought Paige's mouth back to her own, kissing her slowly, trying to calm the pace between them. They were moving too fast; she didn't want them to rush into anything that they weren't ready for.

Paige seemed to understand, moving her hands up from Emily's ass and onto the small of her back. Their breathing gradually became more even; their kisses became more chaste. Emily rested their foreheads together, stroking her thumb over Paige's cheek.

With a final peck, Emily swung herself off of Paige, sitting beside her. She didn't know how long they had been kissing, but the movie had finished, the irritating repetitive music of the menu screen now filling the room. Something crunched under her foot; she looked down and could just make out the mess of spilled popcorn all over the floor. She hadn't even heard it fall.

"Shit," she muttered, leaning over to flick on the lamp, squinting in the light. "I'll be back in a second," she said glancing at Paige, smirking on her way to the kitchen at the state of Paige's hair. She rummaged in the cupboard under the sink, finally finding a small dustpan and brush and returning to the living room. Paige hadn't moved from the couch; she was sitting there with a sort of dazed look on her face.

Emily started to worry that Paige was going to freak out about what had just happened, but calmed slightly when Paige met her eyes and offered her a small smile. "You want a hand?" she asked.

"No thanks, I got it," smiled Emily. She swept the popcorn up quickly, tipping it back into the bowl and taking it to the kitchen to throw into the trash. She brought a hairbrush back through to the living room with her, handing it to Paige.

"Sorry, I messed your hair up a bit," she said, embarrassed. It was as if turning on the light had brought back the awkwardness between them. Paige flushed, looking away as she took the brush from Emily, running it quickly through her long hair.

Emily sat back on the couch, sitting further away from Paige than she wanted to. Paige placed the brush on the coffee table, leaning back against the couch. A tense silence descended over them, but only momentarily.

"So, do you want to watch the rest of the movie?" Paige asked nervously. Emily was pleasantly surprised; she had expected Paige to make up some excuse and leave, and she wouldn't really hold it against her. She'd had months to adjust to the fact that she was not only gay, but crushing hard on her best friend. Paige had had about two weeks, and Emily knew how scary it was.

Well, that was a lot of assuming on Emily's part; honestly, she had no idea what Paige was thinking; she had no idea if Paige was gay; she didn't know if Paige even had a crush on her.

But obviously she must like her a bit, right? Make out sessions as good as that don't happen with just anyone, and it had been evident that Paige had been enjoying herself; Emily's mind flashed to Paige groaning against her lips.

She quickly cleared her throat. "Sure," she said, picking up the remote and going to the 'scene selection' option. She realised that she couldn't remember where they had seen up to before they had gotten distracted; she decided to just pick a spot around halfway through.

She put the remote back on the table as the movie started playing again, quickly checking the time on her phone; she was happy to see that it was just after ten, meaning they would have around an hour before her parents came home.

She didn't bother turning the light off this time, the risk of them getting hot and heavy again being too high.

She fully expected to just sit beside Paige for the rest of the night, but Paige surprised her again by holding her arm up, clearly signalling for Emily to cuddle into her side. She smiled as her heart skipped a beat, moving back against Paige's side, taking the blanket that had slid onto the floor with her and covering them with it.

She snuggled into Paige, tentatively wrapping an arm across Paige's stomach under the blanket, deciding to push every worry about their relationship out of her mind for now. She could feel Paige's torso rising and falling slowly through her thin t-shirt; Emily's eyes closed briefly at how content she felt.

"Em?" Paige asked, Emily feeling the words vibrate against her ear which was resting on Paige's upper chest.

"Hmm?" she replied, feeling too lazy to respond properly.

"Do you have any idea what's going on in this movie? 'Cause I don't."

Emily snorted. "Not a clue."


	8. Chapter 8

**_Paige_ **

It was just after midday on Saturday when Emily text her.

_Hey, want to do something today? :)_

Paige stared at the message, having no idea how to respond. She desperately wanted to say yes, but the panic had returned in full force after last night. It was so frustrating; sometimes she felt okay about being attracted to Emily, and then other times, like today, she just couldn't handle it. She closed her eyes, hopelessly wishing her feelings away.

_Sorry, I can't. My dad needs me to help him with something._

She was embarrassed; it was a blatant lie and Emily would know it. She could have at least thought of an actual task to tell Emily she was doing with her dad to make it seem at least a bit more believable.

She sighed, disappointed in herself, placing her phone face down on her desk and trying to focus on the English essay in front of her. She managed to write a couple of sentences before last night flashed into her head again. She growled in annoyance, banging her head down on the desk in defeat.

Paige had never wanted anyone more in her life; last night she had felt out of control of her body; her lips; her hands. Thankfully Emily had had the sense to slow things down or there's no telling how far they would have gone.

Weirdly, she'd felt calmest when she had Emily close to her, her arm wrapped around her waist; it seemed to have kept her thoughts and the anxiety they brought at bay. They had cuddled together until they heard Emily's parents pulling up outside, separating quickly to sit on opposite sides of the couch. She'd had visions of Emily's parents walking in and knowing exactly what they had been up to; Paige remembered patting her hair down self-consciously, running her fingers over her tingling lips to make sure they didn't feel too swollen.

Wayne and Pam had entered the living room and Paige had done her best to sit there politely and listen as they talked about their evening, but really, all she had wanted to do was bolt, the anxiety getting difficult to push down.

She had made a show of checking the time on her phone, using every effort to stand up slowly and keep her voice steady as she said, "It's getting late, I should probably head home." Emily stood up to accompany her to the door. Since Emily's parents were right there, all they could do was awkwardly say bye to each other before Emily shut the door, Paige almost running to the car her dad had let her borrow for the evening.

She had sat in the car for a few minutes, trying to compose herself; she was a mix of emotions, torn between feeling exhilarated and feeling terrified.

She still felt a mixture of the two today.

She smiled as her head still rested on the desk, remembering Emily's hands in her hair, her thumb softly caressing her cheek. She was pretty sure if it were only her and Emily in the world she wouldn't be as worried; it was only when she started thinking outside of them that the panic truly started; her dad, her mom, her whole extended family. What would they say if they knew she was -?

Paige sat up abruptly, giving her head a shake. They could never know. This couldn't happen. She would need to try harder to suppress her feelings for Emily.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

And there it was, Emily thought as she read Paige's reply; the inevitable freak out she had been anticipating. Paige's number one tactic seemed to be 'avoidance'; Emily knew it well, having done the same thing when she realised she liked Paige. Although it had been expected, that didn't stop the disappointment from seeping through her body. She had really wanted to see her today.

She couldn't stop thinking about Paige; she had to remind herself that last night hadn't been a figment of her imagination, and Paige actually seemed to return some of the feelings she had for her - three months ago that idea would have seemed ludicrous - but obviously Paige was struggling with it.

_Are you okay?_

Emily felt stressed when after twenty minutes Paige still hadn't responded to her message. She wished Paige would stop pulling away from her and just talk to her. She berated herself; she knew it was easy enough to say that, but doing it was another matter.

Last night had been a mistake. She shouldn't have invited Paige over while her parents were out and put them in that situation where in the back of her mind she knew that they would end up kissing again. It had been a bad move on her part. They needed to talk first, and soon. Emily vowed not to let anything more happen between the two of them until then.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

She was going crazy just sitting in her house; that was why she had agreed to go out for lunch with the girls in Philly that Sunday before spending the afternoon shopping, even though it meant seeing Emily. But she couldn't hide for ever, and she hoped the others would act as a sort of buffer between them for now.

She pulled on her beanie and leather jacket, walking out the door when she heard a car horn beeping. Spencer was driving; Aria was in the passenger seat and Hanna in the back. She slid in beside Hanna, already stressing about the fact she was going to have to spend the whole journey right next to Emily.

Paige wondered how Emily would act with her today, since she hadn't text her at all yesterday apart from that one message declining her offer to hang out. She felt like an asshole, but she didn't know what else to do. With any luck, this whole thing would just disappear and everything would go back to normal and she could get on with her life (she knew deep down that those thoughts were a delusion, but that didn't stop her from thinking them).

"Hey, how're you?" Spencer asked, looking at her in the rear view mirror.

They still thought Paige was trying to get over Sean, and she had played along; yet another thing she felt guilty about. She was unclear if her friends thought that Sean was the one who had dumped her, rather than the other way around. She had deliberately kept the details fuzzy.

"Yeah, fine," she smiled. "Getting there."

"You know what they say," Hanna started with a sly smile, elbowing Paige in the side. "The best way to get over a man is to get under another."

"Hanna!" Spencer and Aria shouted simultaneously, Paige flushing slightly, all of them laughing. Spencer started to drive to Emily's house as Paige contemplated the comment. She'd never had sex with Sean; in fact, Sean was even a member of a chastity group at school called 'Real Love Waits'. He had tried to convince her to go with him, but she had refused. It wasn't really her thing, and she honestly hadn't felt the overwhelming urge to sleep with him anyway; she hadn't needed a club to control herself. Now, where Emily was concerned, that was another matter.

She started to ponder if she had subconsciously decided to date Sean for that very reason; that he wouldn't pressure her for sex. The realisation that that was very likely was a shock to her system. How could she have been so unaware?

She couldn't dwell on it for long however, with Hanna nudging her side again.

"Hmm?"

"I was only half joking by the way," Hanna said. "Maybe you should go on a date, you know, help you forget."

Paige wished it were that easy. She was about to answer when Aria interjected on her behalf, "It's only been like two weeks, Han. I'm sure the last thing Paige wants to do right now is date anyone else."

Paige shifted uncomfortably. "Aria's right; I'm really not looking for anything right now."

They pulled up beside Emily's house, where she was already waiting by the curb. Paige tensed as their eyes met briefly through the window, before staring straight ahead as Emily opened the door and sat beside her. She was as close to Hanna as possible without it looking like she was leaning away from Emily, but she could still feel Emily coming into contact with her other side. Her earlier resolve about trying to control her feelings withered; how could she when Emily was only sitting beside her and yet she couldn't stop thinking about kissing her?

She could feel Emily looking at her out of the corner of her eye; she determinedly looked out the window on Hanna's side.

"Hey, Em," Hanna said.

"Hey," Emily replied quietly. Paige could tell by the tone of her voice that she sounded sad. She felt a pang in her chest, but still couldn't look at her.

"Have you got any advice for Paige?" asked Hanna. "We're talking about how to cheer her up after her break-up with Sean. She's already ruled out dating another guy. How'd you get over Ben?"

Paige wanted the ground to swallow her up there and then; or the car to crash, she wasn't picky. She just wanted this conversation to end.

"Uh..." Emily fumbled. "Only time can heal these things, I guess."

The subject thankfully changed after that, but Paige still felt tense. She wrung her hands together in her lap; she knew if she didn't she might not be able to stop herself reaching out for Emily. As they reached Philly, parking just along from the restaurant they were going to, she still hadn't said a single word to her.

Emily climbed out of the car, slamming the door harder than Paige thought was necessary. _Guess I'll just go out Hanna's door then_. She shuffled along the seat and out the car after Hanna.

Spencer locked the car before they ambled along the sidewalk towards the restaurant. Paige watched Emily sadly as she walked slightly ahead with Aria and Hanna. She would need to talk to her; really talk to her, not one of those conversations they have where they skirt around the actual issue they're talking about. She knew if she wanted things to go back to how they were she would need to speak about it. Her stomach knotted at the thought; what if she didn't _want_ things to go back to how they were?

She wasn't sure what she was going to say; she had two options. She could tell Emily that they could only ever be friends and nothing more (and try to ignore her feelings for the rest of her life), or she could be truly honest with both Emily and herself.

"Hey, are you sure you're okay?" Spencer said beside her. "You look like something's troubling you."

"Something is," she replied after a beat. "But, I think I know how to make it better."

Spencer looked at her curiously, before giving her a small smile and putting her hand on Paige's back, silently saying 'I'm here if you need me' _._

They entered the restaurant, the waiter showing them to a round shaped table near the back. Paige sat in between Spencer and Aria, meaning she unfortunately was sitting almost directly across from Emily. She quickly became engrossed in the menu the waiter handed her, risking a glance over the top of it at Emily, who didn't look too thrilled either about the way the seating had worked out. She cleared her throat, obviously uncomfortable, running her hand through her hair; Paige became sort of entranced by the movement, imagining that it was her own hand running through Emily's hair.

Their eyes connected; Paige quickly looked back at the menu, her face burning.

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

Paige waved to her friends as they drove off, walking up the path and putting her key in the front door. She entered her house, instantly hit with the smell of whatever her parents were having for dinner; chicken, she guessed. She made her way to the kitchen, finding them sitting at the dining table.

"Hey, there she is. We were just talking about you," her dad said, taking a sip of water.

Her mom eyed the carrier bag in her hand. "What did you buy?"

"Oh, just a new shirt." She hadn't actually planned on buying anything, but one of the only things Emily had said to her during their trip was, "This would look good on you." And sure enough, the dark green shirt did; she'd tried it on in the changing room, seeing it fitted her perfectly. "So, why were you talking about me?" she asked, looking at her dad.

"Well," he started. "You remember your mom and I are going away to that conference for the week?" Paige nodded, recalling him mentioning it a few weeks ago; truth be told, she had no idea it was this week they were going, she'd been too preoccupied to notice the date. "We've decided to finally go ahead and get the bathroom renovated while we're away."

Paige's forehead scrunched up in protest. Not only would that severely interrupt her routine, she didn't want to have to deal with workmen coming in and out of the house. "But-" He held up his hand.

"Before you start complaining, I haven't finished. Obviously there will be no running water while it's getting done, but luckily I ran into Pam Fields today at the store and we got to talking, and she kindly offered to let you stay with them for the week."

Was it possible for your heart to stop beating but still be alive? Because Paige was pretty sure she didn't have a pulse for at least ten seconds. "W-what?" she finally said. This had to be some kind of cruel joke.

Her parents looked at her with confusion. "We thought you'd be excited," her mom said. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

Anger flared up within her. _This isn't happening; not now._ "You could have at least asked me first! This is going to be...disruptive. Can't you postpone getting the bathroom done? "

"Watch your tone," her dad said sharply. "And no, this is happening; the work's already been scheduled. Sorry, but this isn't up for discussion. What's the matter anyway? I thought you'd enjoy spending the week with Emily?"

Paige opened and closed her mouth, unable to scrape up an explanation for her lack of enthusiasm. She gave up, just shaking her head and leaving the kitchen to go to her room. She threw the carrier bag onto the bed, ripping her beanie from her head and clutching it anxiously.

A whole week living with Emily; what was she going to do?

* * *

**_Emily_ **

When Spencer had dropped her off, she had muttered a quick "bye" before walking briskly into her house, straight up the stairs and into her bedroom, paying little attention to her parents in the living room. She was incredibly pissed off.

Paige had ignored her for almost the entire day; she knew that things would have been awkward, but she hadn't expected Paige to completely disregard her existence. She had tried to engage in conversation when she noticed Paige browsing the store alone, the other girls a few racks of clothes over. She'd pointed out a nearby shirt that she thought would look good on Paige.

Paige had walked over to pick it off the rack, mumbling "I'll go and try it on." That was literally the extent of their conversation; Emily was amazed no one else had picked up on that fact, or if they had, they'd never mentioned it. Emily was so irritated by the time they were leaving Philly that she had practically ran to the passenger side of Spencer's car so she didn't have to sit in the back with Paige again.

She knew Paige was having a hard time, but she didn't deserve to be treated like this.

She sat on the edge of her bed, angrily taking off her boots and throwing them onto the floor. Her mom suddenly appeared in her doorway, Emily quickly trying to conceal her frustration.

"Oh hey, Mom. You surprised me."

"Everything alright?"

Emily looked away briefly, before replying, "Yeah, everything's fine. Why?"

Her mom looked at her doubtfully before seemingly deciding to give her the benefit of the doubt. "I talked to Nick McCullers today."

Emily tensed. "Oh?"

"Yeah, he mentioned they're getting their bathroom renovated." Emily looked at her mom with a perplexed expression; she had no idea what this had to do with her. "Since Nick and Karen are away for the week at some conference, I invited Paige to stay with us." She grinned, opening her arms as if this was some amazing present.

Emily's eyes widened and her heart rate increased. She forced a smile, quickly remembering her mom was expecting her to be excited by this news. "Wow… that's great!"

She couldn't have been very convincing, her mom looking disappointed. "I thought you'd be thrilled; it'll be like a week-long sleepover!"

"No, I am," she swallowed. "It'll be… fun. Looking forward to it." She envisioned the coming week; hour upon hour of uncomfortable silence and tension between her and Paige, Paige refusing to even look at her. She wanted to cry; she couldn't handle a whole week of that.

"Well, okay," her mom said. "Nick is dropping Paige and her stuff off tomorrow morning before they leave." Emily nodded numbly.

"I think I'm just going to stay up here tonight; do some homework and have an early night," Emily said after a moment.

"Do you want anything to eat?" her mom asked, looking concerned.

"No thanks, I had a big lunch." Her mom looked at her, Emily suddenly having the irrational worry that she could read her mind. She finally walked over to her, kissing her forehead and wishing her goodnight before leaving the room.

Emily flopped back onto the bed, throwing an arm over her eyes as she tried to stop the tears. She had no idea how Paige was going to react to this new situation, but she was certain that it wasn't going to be good.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

It was Monday morning. She got out the back of the car, walking to the passenger side and opening the door to give her mom a kiss on the cheek, before following after her dad towards Emily's house with heavy feet. Her stomach churned with anxiety, but also a tinge of excitement.

Her dad knocked the door, her duffel bag swung over his shoulder. Wayne answered the door after a moment, shaking her dad's hand in greeting and taking her bag from him. "Thank you so much for doing this," her dad said. "It's a great help."

"Not a problem," Wayne smiled. "We love having Paige over, and I'm sure you and Emily will have a great time." He was now looking at her, putting a hand on her shoulder as she walked into the house. Paige gave a genuine smile at his kind words, blocking out the latter half of his sentence.

"See you in a week," her dad said, leaning over and kissing the top of her head. "And remember and keep up with your training.  You need to get that anchor spot back." Although his comment was followed by a wink, Paige knew he was being serious, and she was pretty confident Wayne knew that too.

She forced a laugh, embarrassed that he would say that in front of Emily's dad. "Okay, Dad; see you."

Wayne closed the door after she gave a final wave to her mom still sitting in the car. "Subtlety isn't your dad's strong point, eh?" he laughed.

"Tell me about it," Paige smiled, rolling her eyes.

"Here, I'll help you up with this," he said, beginning to carry her bag up the stairs. Paige followed nervously, knowing she was going to be alone with Emily in a minute.

"Emily? Paige is here," Wayne said through the bedroom door.

"Come in," she heard Emily reply.

They stepped into the room where Emily was at her desk painting her nails. Wayne placed her bag by the side of the bed. "Thanks," she said. He gave her a nod before leaving to go back downstairs, half-shutting the door behind him.

She perched on the edge of the bed awkwardly, placing her school bag on the floor at her feet, wishing Emily would turn around and look at her. After a minute of Paige watching Emily intently stroking the blue varnish over her nails, she realised this must have been what Emily felt like yesterday.

Paige cleared her throat. "Hey," she said cautiously.

"Hi," Emily replied instantly, still not looking at her. She didn't sound angry, but when it became clear that was all Emily was going to say, Paige became frustrated, searching her brain for something to say.

"So, this is kinda surprising, huh?" When no reply came, she continued, "It was nice of our parents to consult us." She gave a light laugh.

"Well, I'm sure Hanna wouldn't mind you crashing in her spare room if it's going to be a problem," Emily said, finally shooting her a sharp glance.

Paige's smile fell. "What? That's not what I meant."

"Well, what did you mean then, Paige? Since I don't know what's going through your head these days, why don't you tell me?" Emily said heatedly.

Paige felt her throat close up; very rarely did Emily speak to her like this. She didn't like it. She was saved from responding when Pam knocked the door lightly. She heard Emily huff in annoyance, turning back to her nails. Paige hoped that Pam hadn't heard anything; she didn't need more questions to be asked.

Pam entered the room, greeting her with a smile. "Here," she said, handing Paige a key. "Come and go as you please, this is your home too for the week."

"Thanks so much," Paige replied, tucking the key safely into the pocket of her jeans.

Pam looked at her watch. "Shouldn't you girls be going?"

"I guess," Emily said, screwing the lid onto the top of the nail varnish bottle, waving her right hand in the air and giving her nails a light blow as she tried to get them to dry faster. Paige picked her bag off the floor, standing up. She was certainly not looking forward to this car ride to school.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

They were about halfway to school, and neither of them had spoken a word. Paige was staring adamantly out of the window, almost rigid in her seat.

Emily began to worry that she had just made the situation worse; she was annoyed at herself. She hadn't meant to act like that; she had planned to ask Paige gently to open up to her, but the frustration that had built up over the weekend had spilled out instead. She was tired of how Paige seemed to pick and choose when things were okay between them. Yesterday she had barely said a word, yet today she was trying to initiate conversation as is everything was fine. It was driving Emily crazy.

Either way, she had asked Paige what was going on. She would now just need to wait and see if Paige had an answer for her. She fleetingly wondered if she had this whole situation wrong; maybe Paige really didn't think of her in that way and just wanted to forget the whole thing.

 _No._ She was sick of that line of thought; there was definitely more to it. Paige liked her; she could _feel_ it.

She pulled up into the lot with a sigh, twisting the key in the ignition and killing the radio as the car switched off, a suffocating silence descending once more.

"Paige?" she said, when neither of them made a move to exit the car. Paige turned to look at her. "We need to talk." Emily could actually see Paige swallow.

"What about?" Emily was ready to lose it again, but Paige corrected herself before she got the chance. She shook her head saying, "I didn't mean to say that. I meant to say 'I know.'" They stared at each other with sad eyes for a moment, before Paige cleared her throat and got out of the car. Emily sat there as she watched her walk away.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

Paige felt increasingly anxious as the day went on; she knew she was going to have the conversation she had been dreading with Emily when they got home, but at least she felt like she had come to some sort of decision in regards to what she was going to tell her; now she just had to summon the courage to do it.

Then it was as if the universe had sent her some kind of test; Caleb approached her while she was on her way to her Calculus class, asking if she wanted to go to the movies that night since he really wanted to see one of the new releases but Hanna had arrangements with her mom. Paige knew she should decline, knew that she should go home with Emily and sort things out, but there was no harm in putting it off until a little bit later, right?

She felt guilty as she told Caleb she'd get him outside the theatre at half seven, already feeling nervous about telling Emily she was going to the movies.

* * *

They were on their way home after swim practice. Emily was much more talkative than she had been that morning; sure, it was small talk about school, but it was better than nothing.

Just as they were almost home, Paige decided to let Emily know of her plans for the evening. "I'm going to the movies with Caleb tonight, by the way," she said carefully, bracing herself for Emily to lose her temper again.

After a moment Emily replied in an overly cheery voice, "Oh, have fun then." That was it; that was all she said. Paige wondered if she should invite Emily along, but she realised that probably wouldn't be the best idea.

Emily didn't say anything else on the ride home or even once they were sitting in the living room watching TV. Paige knew she had hurt her once again and Emily was trying not to let it show. It was hard for her to see Emily like this, especially since she knew she was the cause of it.

Her leg bounced nervously up and down as she decided she would talk to Emily when she got home tonight. She was terrified; she knew once she said these things out loud there was no going back, no sticking her head in the sand and pretending the issue didn't exist; this would make it _real_.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

Paige had left not long after dinner. Her mom had asked why she wasn't going with her, and rather than tell her she hadn't even been invited she made up an excuse that she had a test tomorrow to study for.

She then had no choice but to retreat to her room for the rest of the evening, where she did actually attempt to do some studying for the test she had on Thursday, but she was too distracted. She was on edge waiting for Paige to return, and was beginning to wish she had asked more about what movie was she going to see, how long it was and when she would be home so she could relax slightly.

When Paige had told her she was going to the movies with Caleb she had internally screamed; Emily was usually a patient person, but Paige was really testing her. She'd made the snap decision to play it cool, however, since Paige had made a tiny bit of progress today by acknowledging that there actually _was_ something to talk about.

* * *

It was just after 10pm and Paige still hadn't returned. Emily got ready for bed with a sigh, wishing they could have talked tonight; she was sick of the tension and just wanted to be able to be herself around Paige again instead of having to tiptoe around her.

She crawled into bed, making sure to leave room for Paige by picking the side furthest away from the door. It felt surreal that Paige was going to be sleeping in her bed for the week. Amidst all the confusion between them, her stomach flipped excitedly. Emily rolled her eyes at herself, picking up her book to read since she didn't feel tired.

About fifteen minutes later, she heard the front door open and close downstairs. She tensed, unsure what to do. She opted for the easiest option, quickly placing her book on the floor at the side of the bed and flicking off her bedside lamp. She burrowed into the covers, lying on her side, facing away from the door.

She could hear Paige speaking to her parents in the living room, but she couldn't make out what she was saying. After a few minutes, she heard Paige making her way upstairs, quietly entering the bedroom. There was total silence for a moment, followed by a sigh and some rustling as Paige rummaged around her bag, presumably looking for her pyjamas.

She could feel her heart pounding as she listened to Paige undressing in the dark. She scrunched her eyes shut, willing her hormones to stay in check. It would do them no favours for Emily to jump on her the minute she slid into bed.

Emily heard Paige leave the room again, going down the hall and into the bathroom. Another five minutes went by, Emily wondering how Paige was feeling right now. Was she freaking out again? If Emily felt this nervous, she was willing to bet that Paige was a hundred times worse.

Paige came back and shut the door tightly behind her. Emily allowed herself a small smile when Paige whispered "shit" under her breath when she stumbled over something that was on the floor. She felt the covers beside her lift, a cool draft touching her briefly before the bed dipped and Paige climbed in beside her. The bed was big enough that they weren't touching, but Paige was close; Emily could feel the warmth emanating from her.

She sensed that Paige was facing away from her, and with that she let her eyes close. It was short lived however; she felt Paige shift onto her other side. "Em? Are you awake?" This surprised her; she had expected Paige to just go to sleep. She considered ignoring her and continuing to pretend to be asleep, but she didn't see what good that would do.

"Yeah," she whispered into the darkness.

"I'm sorry," Paige said after a beat. Emily was about to turn around to face her when Paige stopped her, reaching out and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Don't. It's easier if you're not looking at me." Emily's brow furrowed. After a moment, Paige continued, her voice shaky. "I'm sorry that I've been avoiding you. I don't want to, but there's just something happening in my head that's making me. I can't explain it." Paige's fingers twitched against her shoulder as Emily held her breath.

"But obviously avoidance isn't working. Ever since we k-kissed, my head's been fuzzy. I can't think properly, especially when I'm around you." Emily couldn't help reaching up to lace her fingers with Paige's, letting her know she was here and listening. "I keep wishing it away, but it makes no difference." Emily knew exactly what Paige was talking about; it was like she describing her own thoughts from a few months ago. "I'm tired of pretending. I can't stop thinking about you," Paige whispered so quietly that Emily had to strain to hear. Emily's heart swelled and broke all at once; she was elated that Paige was finally admitting she had feelings for her, but she sounded so small and terrified that it made Emily's chest ache.

She slowly turned around, taking Paige's hand more fully in her own and giving it a light squeeze, before letting go and running her hand softly across Paige's forehead and into her hair, her hand resting on top of her head. Emily could make out Paige's eyes closing at the contact. "I know you're scared," Emily started, "and to be honest, I am too." It was true; this experience was as new to her as it was to Paige. "But I'm here for you, whatever you need. You can talk to me; you can trust me."

Emily felt her head nod under her hand, as Paige's hand moved to rest on her hip before moving around to her back and shuffling closer. Paige nestled her head into Emily's neck, her breath light against her skin. "Why is this so hard?" Paige mumbled.

Emily didn't have an answer for her; instead she just kissed the top of her head. They were quiet for a few minutes, Emily processing what Paige had told her. She knew there would be issues to come, but this was a start; a great start actually.

"Thank you," Paige murmured against her neck. Emily stroked her hand through Paige's hair.

"For what?" she asked, smiling slightly.

"For being so understanding and forgiving. I'm surprised you still want anything to do with me." There was a beat of silence before Paige added, "You do still want something to do with me, don't you?" Emily wanted to laugh, but she didn't because she could hear the insecurity in Paige's voice. She brought her head down to come face to face with Paige, kissing her gently on the lips.

"Of course I do," she stated against her mouth.

"Okay. Good," Paige said shyly, connecting their lips again. It was the chastest kiss they had shared yet, but that didn't mean Emily felt it any less. At that moment, she was lighter than air.

"Just promise me one thing," Emily said. "Please don't shut me out anymore."

Paige considered her words, before saying, "I'll try my best not to do that, I promise."

That was good enough for Emily for now; she took Paige's hand in hers, turning back over to face her desk, pulling Paige with her so that she was pressing into her back. She felt Paige nuzzle into her hair, their hands resting on Emily's stomach over her oversized t-shirt. "Night," Emily whispered.

"Goodnight," Paige answered, placing a light kiss onto her ear.

With Paige wrapped around her, her warmth at her back, Emily drifted off into the most peaceful sleep she'd had in months.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Paige_ **

The first thing she noticed when she started to stir was the warmth pressed into her front, followed by the tickle of hair against her nose and light breathing against her neck.

She suddenly remembered last night; she had finally been honest with Emily. She smiled slightly, opening her eyes a fraction. It was still dark, but she figured it must be early morning going by the sound of tweeting birds outside.

Emily must have turned in her sleep to face her since she was now nestled into her neck, her hands curled up in between them. Paige felt warm skin against her fingertips; her hand had slipped up the back of Emily's t-shirt while she was asleep. She was about to remove it before she realised she didn't have to; Emily knew now, she didn't have to pretend anymore; this was okay.

Her smile broadened. Yes, it had been terrifying saying those things, but the weight of her struggle had been crushing her. Sharing her thoughts with Emily had relieved a lot of that stress; for the first time in weeks she had fallen asleep without worrying about everything. She had made the right decision; she could feel it in her heart.

Her fingers traced absent-mindedly over the soft, smooth skin of the small of Emily's back as she recalled how sick with nerves she had felt coming home from the movies last night, making distracted conversation with Emily's parents before she made her way up the stairs.

When she had opened the door to discover the lights off and Emily in bed, the nausea had been replaced with disappointment. She had slowly been building up courage throughout the day to say what she needed to, and so when she had entered the bedroom she had planned to just start talking to Emily before she lost her nerve.

Seeing that Emily was already asleep was disheartening; maybe it was a sign to keep her mouth shut. She'd felt her resolve slipping away by the second as she got ready for bed. As she had stared at herself in the bathroom mirror while brushing her teeth, she'd shook her head and psyched herself up again, repeating over and over again. _You can do this._

She would do it first thing in the morning, she had promised herself, stumbling blindly towards the bed in the darkness, not allowing herself to think about lying next to Emily; she would never get to sleep otherwise.

As it turned out, she couldn't sleep anyway; her body was still hyped up on the adrenaline she had built up. _Fuck it_ she had thought, turning over; she wanted to tell Emily now; _needed_ to tell her.

Thankfully Emily hadn't really been asleep, and her thoughts spilled out not at all like how she planned, but it didn't matter. Emily was there comforting her, and everything was okay.

She placed a soft kiss to Emily's forehead, her lips still touching her skin as she fell back asleep.

* * *

The next time she woke it was more abrupt, Emily's alarm startling them both. Paige felt Emily turn away from her, hearing her fumbling until her hand found the alarm clock. She slumped back down onto the bed heavily, rolling back over towards Paige and resuming her earlier position of burrowing into her neck.

Paige's heart felt like it could burst.

She wrapped her arm back around Emily, Emily's hand resting on her waist. Another few minutes passed before the alarm blared again, Emily actually _snarling_ in annoyance. Paige couldn't help but laugh as Emily angrily turned the alarm off, Paige opening her eyes to see her sitting on the edge of the bed.

With great effort, Paige sat up, yawning widely. Emily looked over her shoulder at her, smiling shyly. "Morning."

"Morning," Paige replied with a smile of her own. They stared at each other a moment through the dimness of the room before Paige stood up, deciding that if she didn't she would give into the urge to pull Emily back into the bed. "So, swim?"

Emily nodded, standing up and making her way around the bed, flipping on the light before starting to pull clothes out of her chest of drawers. Paige kneeled on the floor as she picked her swimsuit and clothes out of the bag that was still by the side of the bed.

She stood up with an armful of clothes, turning to see Emily with the same. There was a moment of awkwardness before Paige stammered, "Uh, I'll get ready in the bathroom." She left the room quickly, trying not to cringe in embarrassment.

Once she had dressed and brushed her teeth, she returned to the bedroom, quietly asking through the door, "You decent?", and desperately trying not to think about Emily _not_ decent.

"Yup," Emily replied, opening the door and walking past her. "I just need to brush my teeth then we'll go."

Paige checked through her school bag quickly to make sure she had everything before sitting on the bed while she waited for Emily. Sitting there alone with nothing but her thoughts made her start to feel on edge again. She closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath.

That was how Emily found her a minute later. "Paige?"

She jumped slightly, having not heard her return. She stood up quickly. "Ready?"

"Yeah, just let me get my bag." She walked towards the window seat where her bag was sitting. "Paige? Are you… okay?" She looked at her with a creased brow. "I know it's a lot to process-"

"Em," Paige started, walking towards her. "I'm okay." And compared to how she had been feeling recently, it wasn't a lie; she did feel infinitely better now that she had admitted out loud she was attracted to Emily. She reached out, squeezing Emily's hand. "I have you." Emily smiled, a light blush covering her cheeks; Paige was astounded that she could have such an effect on her.

"Good. Come on, then," she said, nodding towards the door and beginning to walk around her. She didn't get very far however; Paige pulled her back towards her, kissing her like she had wanted to as soon as she woke up. She placed one hand on Emily's neck, the other snaking around her waist, pulling her flush against her.

She pulled back after a minute with a sigh, smiling. Something was different, she thought as she looked into Emily's eyes which were filled with such warmth that Paige melted right there. At first she thought it was because they now both definitely knew where they were in relation to one another, but then she realised that wasn't it; this was the first time they had kissed in the light; the first time Paige could actually see Emily's face when she pulled away from kissing her.

It left her breathless.

"Okay, _now_ we can go."

* * *

**_Emily_ **

The school day was dragging; time had stopped. All she wanted to do was spend time with Paige, preferably alone; in her room.

She smiled into her hand in the middle of her Math class. Paige's words from last night still echoed in her head. _I can't stop thinking about you._ It was the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to her, and to have it come from Paige...

She swooned slightly in her seat. She couldn't wait to get home.

* * *

A whistle blew through the natatorium. "Okay, ladies! That's us for today, good job!" Coach Fulton shouted from the side of the pool.

Their afternoon swim practice had finally finished. The team made their way into the locker room, heading to rinse their hair in the shower. Emily let the water stream down over her face, running her hands through her hair.

She found herself seeking out Paige; she was standing under one of the showers on the wall opposite, her back to her. Her eyes roamed over her body, the fantasy of walking over to Paige, pushing her against the wall and kissing her deeply filling her mind.

She shook her head, turning to face the wall. Now that she knew Paige liked her back, her mind was starting to dwell on the potential sexual aspect of their relationship. She had never had sex, and she wanted Paige to be her first. She knew that would probably be a while off, but something settled low in her stomach at the thought.

A hand touched her shoulder and she leapt a foot in the air, almost slipping on the wet floor tiles. Paige steadied her. "Whoa, sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Emily looked around seeing they were the only two left in the showers. A smile spread across Paige's face at the obvious fact she'd been daydreaming. "So, what were you so busy thinking about?" Paige's smirk told Emily she had a good idea what had been on her mind.

"None of your business," she smiled.

They grinned at each other stupidly before someone walked past the showers, reminding them that they weren't alone.

They made their way to their lockers, Emily trying her best not to check out Paige while she changed. When they were finally ready, they strolled out into the mostly empty school hallways, their hands brushing together as they walked. Emily was already looking forward to the day when they were both properly out and could hold hands for anyone and everyone to see.

Once Emily had started to drive them home, Paige took her hand in hers, not looking at her but smiling.

Emily grinned; she could definitely get used to this.

* * *

They entered the house, Emily feeling like she should at least say hello to her parents before disappearing up to her room with Paige.

They walked to the kitchen, finding her dad sitting alone staring into space. "Hey," Emily said hesitantly. He suddenly seemed to realise they were home, standing up and giving a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I was in a world on my own there, didn't even hear you come in," he said.

"Where's Mom?"

He paused. "Out."

Emily could see Paige shifting uncomfortably at her side, obviously deciding this was a family conversation. "Uh, I need to get started on some homework," she muttered before leaving the room.

"When?" Emily asked, her stomach knotting. Her parents usually only fought about one thing.

"Next month," he said solemnly. Emily wanted to cry. He hadn't even been home that long from his last tour. "But, it's not what you think. I'm not going back to Afghanistan. They want me to lead training at a base in Texas." The knot in her stomach loosened slightly. "So, I'll be away for another while, but I won't be in any immediate danger."

Emily sighed in relief, hugging her dad tightly. "I don't want you to leave though," she said sadly.

"I know, Emmy, but hopefully it won't be too long and you can come visit any time you want. And I might be able to squeeze in a few visits up here too."

"How's Mom taking it?"

She felt her dad's shoulders sinking. "You know how it is. She's upset, but she's just glad I'm not going to the front line again." Emily closed her eyes, feeling bad for both her parents; she knew they hated being apart, especially for that length of time. He pulled back, giving her a quick peck on the top of her head. "I think we'll just order in tonight? Chinese?"

"Sounds good," she said. "Shout us when it's here." Feeling the need to clarify, she added, "We're doing homework." He nodded, and Emily made her way up to her room.

Paige was standing staring out the window when she entered, concern etched over her face. "Everything okay?" She must have got all the information she needed from looking at Emily's face, since she walked over to her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders tightly, Emily's arms automatically going around Paige's waist.

"My dad's leaving again," she mumbled into Paige's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Em," Paige whispered sadly.

"It's not as bad as last time though, he's going to Texas to lead training at a base, not Afghanistan, so that's something I guess." Paige pulled back to look at her, her eyes wide and reassuring.

"That's more than something, Em," she smiled softly. "At least he'll be safe." Emily already knew that, but hearing it from Paige somehow made her feel better.

"You're right," she said. "Silver linings, huh?"

"Exactly," smiled Paige, hesitating momentarily before leaning in to kiss her gently. It was still amazing that they could do this now, and Emily didn't think the surreal feeling was going to wear off anytime soon. After being friends since they were eleven years old, she thought that kissing Paige should feel weird or wrong, but nothing had ever felt more right. Paige rested her forehead against Emily's, the intimate gesture telling Emily that Paige felt the same way.

"I've been waiting to do that all day," Paige murmured.

"Really?" Emily grinned, playing with the hair at the back of Paige's neck. She tried not to let her surprise show that Paige was being this open with her. "Me too."

"Mhmm," Paige hummed before kissing her with such intensity that Emily actually felt her knees weaken, the upset with her dad now at the back of her mind. Paige began to walk her back towards the bed, both of them laughing when Emily hit the bed and fell over backwards, Paige half-landing on top of her. Paige placed a hand either side of her head, lifting her upper body up off of Emily, Emily scooting further onto the bed so that only her feet were dangling over the edge. The smile on her face fell as they became aware of the position they were in, Emily's legs pinned beneath Paige's.

Emily could see Paige's eyes darken, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. Emily waited with bated breath, unsure what Paige was going to do. Just as she thought she was going to lean down and kiss her already, Paige groaned and flopped down onto her back beside her.

Emily propped herself up on her elbow, looking down at Paige questioningly.

"Sorry. I just can't-" Paige cut herself off, frustrated. Emily's face must have fallen because Paige grabbed her hand saying, "No, I don't mean it like that. I mean-" Paige's face became increasingly redder. It took a second for Emily to understand.

" _Oh_ ," she said, trying not grin too much, Paige already embarrassed enough as it was; she was scared she might not be able to control herself if they began kissing in such an intimate position. The thought sent Emily's mind spiralling; Paige wanted her. She gulped, suddenly doubting her own self-control.

She lay down on her side, just looking at Paige who was still staring at the ceiling, soaking in every detail of the side of her face. After a minute a shy smile spread across Paige's lips, her head lolling to the side to meet her eyes. "What?" she said bashfully.

"Nothing," Emily replied smiling sweetly, unable to comprehend how Paige could be this adorable.

"You're staring. It's creepy," she joked, Emily laughing and pecking her on the lips.

"Sorry, I can't help it. I don't think you realise how hard it is to _not_ stare at you."

Paige smiled warmly before her face became more serious, looking away from her and staring at their joined hands. Emily worried she had said something wrong before Paige said, "Em, how long have you… liked me for?"

The question took her by surprise. She contemplated her answer. "Honestly? I don't know, a while. But I only became aware of it a few months back."

Paige turned fully onto her side, her eyes searching Emily's. "How? I mean, what made you aware of it?"

Emily snorted bitterly. "Alison Dilaurentis, actually." Paige's brow wrinkled. "I know, who would have thought. You know that pool party you had during the summer?" Paige nodded, still looking puzzled. "Well, Alison must have been studying me; you know how she liked to people-watch. I'd just gotten into an argument with Ben -I don't even remember what about now- and I stormed off. I ended up standing off to the side of your house by myself. I guess I must have been watching you in the pool, because Alison came up behind me saying, 'Were you wishing you could taste her cherry chapstick?'" Emily remembered the words vividly, burned into in her mind; they had made her blood run cold.

"What happened after that?" Paige said quietly, stroking her thumb over her hand.

Emily sighed, not really wanting to talk about it; but, she concluded, if she wanted Paige to open up to her, it would have to work both ways. "I can't remember what I said to Alison, but she must have seen the panic on my face. She laughed, Paige. She laughed right in my face and I was so scared that she was going to tell people-" The emotions that the memory brought back were painful. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat.

She had ran home without speaking to anyone after that, locked herself in her room and just cried for hours. It had been one of the lowest points in her life. Thankfully Alison had been sent to juvie not long after and apparently hadn't had the chance to spread that bit of news around Rosewood before she left. It had been a lucky escape.

Paige pulled her towards her, hugging her tightly. "I'm so sorry. That's awful."

"It was, but it's better now." She pulled back slightly from the hug, her face resting just a fraction away from Paige, nudging her nose gently against hers.

Paige gave her a sad smile, placing a hand over the side of her face and kissing her softly. This felt more intimate than any moment they had shared so far. Emily's eyes closed in contentment.

**_Paige_ **

She studied Emily's face, stroking her thumb over her cheek. _Perfect_ was the only word that came to mind.

She closed her eyes, her chest still hurting from what Emily had just told her. She had been so wrapped up in herself and her own confusion that she hadn't even considered what Emily must have gone through.

She had initially started the conversation out of curiosity if she had been the girl Emily had said she had a crush on the night she came out; that question now seemed childish and pathetic in comparison to the answer she got. She felt anger building up inside her that Alison could do that to someone; to _Emily._ Just as well Alison was already in juvie or else she didn't know what she would have done.

Emily was so strong; much stronger than she could ever be. It was mind-blowing to Paige that Emily managed to get through all of that alone, struggling through it without telling _anyone_ ; not only the realisation that she liked girls and had a crush on one of her best friends, but also the added complication of the worst bitch in Rosewood knowing about it. She didn't know how she had done it. Paige was only just coping and that was because she had Emily by her side.

She sighed; Emily was incredible. She had known that already, but this just confirmed it.

They must have dozed off, because suddenly they both jumped awake after Wayne had shouted "Dinner's here!" up the stairs. _That was careless; he could have easily come up the stairs and caught us like that._ Paige felt the anxiety creeping back in but then Emily smiled at her and she felt herself calm.

* * *

Thankfully dinner hadn't been a sombre affair. Pam had come back from wherever she was relatively happy; Paige figured that she had also decided to look at the fact Wayne was only going to Texas as a good thing.

Bedtime rolled around again, Paige's earlier arousal returning. She took her pyjamas to get dressed in the bathroom again, inhaling and exhaling slowly to try and calm her racing heart. She flushed, embarrassed by her raging hormones; she had never experienced this degree of want before, and having to sleep in the same bed as Emily for the week was going to be the ultimate test of self-control.

Emily's earlier amusement when she had fumbled out the admission that she was finding it hard to stop once they started flashed into her mind. She smiled as she changed into a t-shirt and sweats; Emily wasn't freaked out by her desire. Logically she knew that of course Emily wouldn't be bothered by it, but the society that she had grown up in had told her those feelings were wrong and she was doing her best to get that thought out of her head. How could it be wrong when it felt so right?

She went back into Emily's room. Emily was already in the bed, this time lying facing the door, and most definitely awake. Paige closed the door, turning the light off and sliding in beside Emily.

They stared at each other as their eyes adjusted to the darkness. Once Paige could make out Emily's features, she could see she was smiling. She grinned back, closing her eyes in the pretence that they were just going to go straight to sleep, laughing when she felt Emily grab her arm and pull her close.

* * *

They must have slowly fallen asleep while making out. It was obvious that they were both trying to show some restraint, hands staying strictly on necks or waists. Their kisses had been more lazy and relaxing rather than fast and intense which Paige had been thankful for, both of them slowly getting to know what each other liked. For example, Paige now knew that taking Emily's bottom lip in between her own and sucking it lightly made Emily hold her just that little bit tighter.

It was now Wednesday night, and they were lying side by side on top of Emily's bed trying to get some work done. Emily had made a point of reminding her that she had a test the following day that she really needed to study for and so not to distract her.

But Paige thought if she really didn't want to be distracted, she would have sat at her desk and not on the bed next to her, so.

She started poking Emily playfully on the arm with her pen, grinning into her Chemistry book as Emily eventually caught her wrist. She held onto her, Paige looking to her side to see Emily trying to conceal a smile beneath her hair. Emily brought Paige's hand to her mouth, kissing the back of her hand lightly; Paige's jaw went slack when she felt Emily's tongue dart out to taste her skin.

She had Emily on her back in a second, Emily's Biology book getting crushed beneath them in the process. Paige pushed Emily into the mattress as she flicked her tongue into her mouth, nipping lightly at lips. A strangled sound escaped the back of Emily's throat that made Paige's stomach dip. She ran her hand up and down Emily's side before placing it on her stomach. She was just about to work up the nerve to move her hand upwards when her phone rang loudly in her pocket.

She broke away, Emily running her hand through Paige's hair and placing it behind her ear as she struggled to get her phone free. She sat bolt upright when she saw who it was calling, getting off the bed quickly.

She cleared her throat, her body tensing as she answered. "Hey, Dad."

"Hey, just checking in. How's everything?" She could the chatter of voices talking in the background.

"Yeah, fine. Good." She looked over at Emily to see her watching her; she turned to face away from her, walking towards the window seat. Paige was about to ask how their trip had been so far but her dad jumped in with more questions before she had the chance.

"How have your times been this week? Did your coach say when she'll be announcing the anchor for the next meet?"

Paige gritted her teeth. "Dad, the next meet isn't for like another month. Coach won't be making that decision for a while."

"Well, it's never too early to show your worth. I want a sheet of your times when I get back." Paige wanted to scream at him down the phone -it really was none of his fucking business- but she didn't; she bit her tongue as he started to tell her that he had heard a rumour that there might be scouts from colleges attending the next meet so she should be prepared to impress them.

Finally, he seemed to realise he was droning on and that she hadn't said a word in about two minutes. "Where are you? It's awfully quiet."

"Emily's living room; why?" She closed her eyes as she blurted out the lie. She didn't know why she had said it; her dad wouldn't have thought anything of her being in Emily's room. She also felt bad that Emily had heard her.

"Just curious." He sounded slightly confused at her defensive tone. "Anyway, we should be home midday Saturday; we'll swing by and pick you up on the way."

"Fine." She was irritated that they weren't coming home on Sunday like they had originally said. That meant one less night with Emily. She didn't want to go back home yet.

He said goodbye. She hung up, taking a breath before turning to face Emily, who she caught quickly looking away from her, picking at something on the bedspread.

"Your dad giving you a hard time again?" she asked cautiously.

Paige was so frustrated and angry that she could only mutter a sharp 'yes', now feeling even worse for snapping at Emily. She picked up her Chemistry book from the bed and took it over to the desk. "I'll let you get back to studying," she said in the most neutral tone she could muster, sitting down and trying not to cry.

Her dad had punctured the bubble that she had been living in with Emily the past few days. And of course he had phoned when they had been making out. She tried to get back to the happy place she had been in a few minutes earlier, but she couldn't.

She just couldn't.

**_Emily_ **

She stared at Paige's back; she was sat rigidly in the chair, hands moving to rake through her hair in what Emily could only read as aggravation. She desperately wanted to go and put her arms around her in comfort, but she was scared of how Paige would react.

Emily knew that Nick put a lot of pressure on Paige, more so than he should. But Paige hardly ever spoke about it, aside from the odd bitter comment that she would then gloss over with a joke or change of subject. Nick was an overbearing parent, of that Emily was sure, but she was also confident that it was coming from a place of love; he wanted Paige to succeed in getting an athletic scholarship into a good school; he just went about it in the wrong way. Emily wondered if it would make a difference if Paige actually opened up and told him how she was feeling; maybe he would back off a bit.

She decided that right now Paige probably needed a bit of space and it might not be the best idea to bring it up, but she made a mental note to try and get her to talk about it at a later date.

She turned her attention back to her Biology book, but something was niggling at the back of her mind. She realised it was the comment Paige had made about being in her living room. Paige had panicked about her dad phoning in the middle of making out with a girl and made up a pointless lie. It had been easy to forget these past days; Paige was still fighting a battle internally. Although they had become much more comfortable in their changing relationship (and strangely quickly, Emily mused, assuming the fact that they were already so close beforehand had something to do with it), Paige was still struggling and Emily would need to remember that, both for her sake and Paige's.

Emily had gotten to the point where she had started to contemplate how and when to tell her parents she was gay; Paige was at the point where that didn't even seem like a possibility. Hell, Emily wasn't sure if Paige had even truly told herself yet. Again, this was another thing they needed to talk about, but there was no rush. There was plenty of time for that.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

It was around an hour later and her anger had slowly ebbed away. She stretched in the seat, her back feeling stiff. She turned around, seeing Emily still flicking through her Biology work with that little cute crinkle she got on her head when she was confused.

"Need help?"

She startled Emily with her voice. Paige smiled; she must have been in the zone. Emily's gaze was soft, giving her a smile of her own. "No, I'm good, thanks. I'm about to put this away for the night anyway, my brain can't take in anymore."

Paige stood up. "Okay, well I'm gonna go for a shower." Paige leaned over to give her a quick kiss before she went, silently apologising for snapping at her.

"I'll get you a towel," Emily said, giving her hand a light squeeze as she got up to let her know it was okay, walking out into the hall. Paige gathered pyjamas to take to the bathroom with her. Emily was turning on the shower when she got there. "If you want it any hotter or colder just press this button here," she pointed. Since she had been showering at school after swim practice she hadn't actually used Emily's shower yet.

"Okay, think I've got it," Paige smirked, their eyes connecting, the sexual tension in the room almost unbearable. Emily thrust a towel into Paige's hands, exiting the bathroom quickly. Paige leaned back against the closed door with a sigh, before stripping off and stepping into the shower.

Her mind began to wander, fixating on the fact that Emily had stood in this exact spot. Naked. She quickly pressed the button to make the shower colder. That line of thought certainly wouldn't ease her sexual frustration; only one thing would but she felt like that would be wrong to do in Emily's house.

She showered quickly, before drying herself and dressing in flannel pyjama pants and a t-shirt. She decided to put her bra back on; she had been sleeping in one all week, and she noticed Emily had been doing the same.

She made her way back to Emily's room, opening the door to find Emily mid-change. She was only wearing sweats and a black bra. Paige's mouth went dry; her heart stopped beating. "Shit, sorry," she said, ripping her eyes from Emily's chest.

Emily snorted, but looked slightly embarrassed. "Relax, Paige. It's not anything you haven't seen before." That was true; Paige had caught many glimpses of Emily in her underwear in the locker room over the years, but this was different. _Much_ different. To Paige's disappointment, Emily quickly threw on a t-shirt.

Paige walked over to the side of the bed, dumping her dirty clothes into her bag. She took the towel that was around her shoulders to squeeze her wet hair with. "Can I use your hair dryer?"

"Sure, it's over there," Emily said, nodding at her chest of drawers. Paige picked it up off the top surface, plugged it in and started to dry her hair, all the while watching Emily in the mirror. She was settling into bed with a book, their eyes finally meeting when Emily glanced in her direction. Paige gulped; the look Emily was giving her could only be described as lustful.

She dried her hair as quickly as possible, Emily tossing her book aside as soon as she got in the bed next to her. They were bathed in the yellow glow emanating from the bedside lamp. Paige slipped her hand through Emily's hair, cupping the back of her head and pulling her mouth towards hers so that Emily was slightly on top of her. Emily's tongue pushed past her lips instantly; it seemed like Paige wasn't the only one with pent up sexual energy.

Emily's hand landed on her hip, her fingers toying with the edge of her t-shirt, before they slipped up underneath it at the back, her nails lightly dragging across her bare skin. Paige pulled Emily even closer, running her hand up and down her outer thigh, up her back, down her sides, before finally ghosting over her breast.

Her stomach flipped; she moved her hand off to the side again, Emily pulling back from the kiss and removing her hand from under Paige's shirt. Paige was disappointed, hoping that she hadn't just overstepped her mark, but then Emily took hold of her hand and slowly started to move it back to her chest, her eyes locked with Paige's.

Her heart hammered loudly against her ribcage as Emily guided her hand to where she wanted it.

It was the sexiest thing she had ever experienced.

They both moaned slightly at the contact, Emily's eyes closing when she squeezed her hand slightly. Even through a bra and t-shirt, Emily felt amazing. Paige kissed her again, Emily's hand moving back down to grip her upper thigh.

Paige rubbed her palm over Emily's breast before stroking her thumb over where she could just feel Emily's hardened nipple through her clothes, Emily responding by biting Paige's lower lip and pulling lightly. Paige's head was spinning, the throbbing between her legs progressively getting more and more distracting.

Emily began to kiss down her jaw, down her neck, running her hand over Paige's stomach. It was all starting to get a bit much. She was starting to lose control of her line of thought.

Emily's hand made contact with her own chest and she was a goner. She gasped, both of her hands sliding up the back of Emily's t-shirt, her fingers spread out so she could feel as much of Emily's soft skin as possible.

Emily kissed her hungrily, Paige becoming hyperaware of the slight grinding Emily was doing into the side of her leg.

She flipped them over, placing her hands either side of Emily's head and pushing her thigh up between Emily's. Her head pressed back into the pillows at the contact, Paige placing heated kisses over her exposed throat. Without Paige's permission, her hips rotated down into Emily, a small groan escaping her lips at the friction the movement created. She felt like she was going to combust if she didn't relieve some of the tension. Without thinking, she ground down into Emily again, this time Emily pushing back against her thigh.

Emily's hands came up to rest on her neck, pulling her down for a quick kiss as their bodies started to move slowly against one another. They stared deeply into each other's eyes, both of them gasping quietly with every rotation of their hips, Emily's breath hot against her face.

Paige could feel a familiar heat beginning to creep over her; her arms were starting to shake from the strain of holding her upper body off of Emily. Their breathing was starting to quicken. One of Emily's hands wondered up the front inside of Paige's t-shirt, rubbing her fingers over Paige's nipple through her bra. Paige groaned, beginning to rock harder, faster.

She studied Emily's body language. She had no idea how she knew, but Emily was close. She watched as Emily bit her lip in an attempt to stifle a moan, her body feeling tense underneath Paige. With a few final coordinated long drawn out grinds of their hips, Emily went rigid, her back arching off of the bed, her eyes closing and her mouth forming a slight 'O' shape, Paige feeling her shudder beneath her.

The sight alone was almost enough to make Paige follow her over the edge, but a few more thrusts against Emily's thigh were needed before her breath hitched; her vision exploded with light, pleasure shooting through every inch of her body.

She collapsed into Emily's neck with a moan, her breathing fast and uneven, feeling wetness seeping into her underwear. Holy _shit_.

They lay there in silence for a few moments, Paige trying to process what had just happened. She certainly hadn't expected that to happen tonight; so much for self-control. She had also just got to witness something that no one other than her had ever got to see. She smiled lazily against Emily's neck, pressing a light kiss to the skin there.

Emily shuffled down to look at her, her eyes looking glazed and unfocused. She smiled as she ran her fingers over her cheek, kissing her softly on the lips. "Are you okay?" she asked, a hint of worry appearing.

Paige gave her an incredulous look. "Are you kidding? I'm better than okay." To be fair, Emily had every right to think she would freak out about this, and maybe she would; but right now all she could think about was how perfect this moment was. She closed her eyes, trying to burn it into her mind how she was feeling at this exact moment so that she could recall it every time things got too much for her.

"Well, remember I'm here to talk to if you need to later," Emily said, that uncertainty still in her voice. Paige opened her eyes, almost taken aback at the adoring look Emily was giving her. She felt her chest swell, an indescribable feeling towards Emily passing through her.

She kissed her gently again. "I know."


	10. Chapter 10

**_Emily_ **

"Emily!" Paige laughed. "Come on, we need to go."

Emily's eyes remained closed, wrapping her arm tighter around Paige's waist as she tried to get out of the bed. "No," she mumbled into the nape of Paige's neck, snuggling closer. She was feeling far too tired to go running; she would happily lie here spooning with Paige for the whole day.

"Fine, five more minutes," Paige sighed, her body relaxing back against Emily. Emily smiled; she knew Paige could have escaped her hold if she had really wanted to. Her fingers traced gently over Paige's stomach above her t-shirt before wandering underneath. She kissed the back of Paige's neck lightly, followed by a more open-mouthed one. When her fingers bumped against the bottom of her bra, Paige started to squirm away from her again, doing it so suddenly that Emily didn't have enough warning to stop her.

"Right, no. Enough of _that_ ," Paige said, trying to sound stern, but Emily could hear the tightness in her throat, her voice sounding an octave higher than usual. "If you're not dressed by the time I get back I'll-" Paige stopped, seeming unsure how to end the sentence. Emily raised her eyebrows questioningly, a smirk appearing on her lips as she waited for Paige to finish the threat. "Just… get up," she said, unable to suppress a small smile.

Emily snorted, Paige gathering up clothes to take to the bathroom and leaving her alone in her room. Emily couldn't help but be amused at the fact Paige was still getting changed in another room after what had happened last night.

She threw her arm over her face, grinning. That had certainly taken her by surprise; she hadn't meant for things between them to escalate that quickly, but they both seemed to have needed some form of release, and it had been perfect.

And extremely hot.

She quickly got out of bed; the last thing she wanted was to get worked up again by replaying the image of Paige grinding down into her thigh over and over again.

She dressed swiftly, and was in front of the mirror pulling her hair into a ponytail by the time Paige came back. Emily smiled at how slowly she opened the door and at how relieved she looked to find Emily fully dressed this time.

"Oh, good," Paige said. "Just so you know, I was fully prepared to throw a glass of water over you."

"Why do that when there are much better ways to wake me up?" Emily said with a cheeky grin, suddenly worried she had made Paige uncomfortable when she averted her gaze and looked down at the floor. The worry was short-lived however; Paige came up behind her, encircling her waist and resting her chin on her shoulder.

Emily leaned back into her as their eyes connected in the mirror. Paige's eyes crinkled in the corners as she smiled softly at her. In the silence of the room, Emily swore she could feel Paige's steady heartbeat against her back beating in sync with her own. She was suddenly overcome with emotion, her heart expanding in her chest.

_I love you._

The thought flitted through her head before she could stop it. Paige placed a kiss on her neck, quietly saying, "Let's go." As she walked away from her, Emily could only look at herself in the mirror with slightly widened eyes.

She had fallen hard for Paige and there was no going back now.

* * *

Their run took longer than normal since they kept pulling each other into secluded areas to steal kisses, meaning that when they finally returned to Emily's to get changed they were dangerously close to being late for school.

Her mom looked at them curiously from the living room as they ran into the house, beginning to race up the stairs.

"We lost track of the time," Emily threw lamely over her shoulder as she followed Paige up to her room, praying her mom wouldn't ask anything more about it.

Paige whipped her shirt over her head as soon as Emily closed the bedroom door, dropping to her knees to rifle through her bag, pulling clothes out all over the floor in her hurry. Emily could only stand rooted to the spot, watching Paige's back muscles flex as she moved.

Suddenly Paige was standing up again, turning to look at her. "Emily! Come on! I've got Mrs Lipton first and you know how humiliating it is to be late to her class." Emily did know; she hadn't witnessed it herself but she had heard that Mrs Lipton made students sing a song of their choice to the whole class as a punishment for being late. That snapped her out of it as she started to shrug out of her own clothes. "Nothing you haven't seen before," Paige added, mimicking her words from the night before as she noticed Emily staring at her.

"Shut up," Emily laughed, shoving Paige lightly as she was in the middle of removing her running pants so that she fell into the side of the bed.

Both of them were breathless with laughter by the time they were finally dressed, Emily thankful that the amusement had masked the sexual tension that could have overpowered them otherwise.

They rushed back downstairs, shouting their goodbyes to her mom who was still sitting on the couch, running to Emily's car. Emily was craving water as she started to drive, her throat incredibly dry.

"Have you got anything to drink?" she asked hopefully.

"Uh…" Paige started, rummaging briefly through the bag at her feet. "Nope, sorry. How about this tasty looking apple instead?" Emily glanced to her side to see Paige holding up an apple that had either been in the bag _far_ too long or had been crushed under all of Paige's school books.

Emily screwed her face up. "I think I'll pass."

Paige opened the passenger window and threw the apple out of the car.

"Paige!" Emily admonished.

"What? I wasn't putting that thing back in my bag. A bird will probably thank me for it."

Emily shook her head with a smile, holding out her hand for Paige to take for the last few minutes of the ride. They arrived with literally two minutes to spare, walking up to Hanna, Spencer and Aria who were gathered at Spencer's locker.

Spencer looked at the time on her phone. "Cutting it fine this morning. Don't you have Lipton first?" she asked, looking at Paige.

"Yeah," Paige said quickly, clearing her throat. "Em's car had a flat." The bell rang, saving them from having to expand on the lie. "Too bad, no one will get to hear me sing today. See you guys at lunch." Paige began to walk down the hallway, managing to throw Emily a small smile over her shoulder as she went. It frustrated Emily that she couldn't respond since the other girls were still facing her.

Emily took off her jacket and flapped her hand in front of her face, trying to cool down from the rush of the morning. "I'm going to go get water before class, see you." Hanna opened her mouth about to speak, but Emily was off before she got the chance.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

It was her free period. She was slumped down onto the table in front of her, her chin resting on her crossed arms. Spencer usually joined her in the library since they shared the same free period, but she had ditched her for Toby today.

She stared at her phone for a moment before looking around the surrounding area to make sure no one was watching; she snapped a quick picture of herself with her head in her hand and a slightly upturned bottom lip, captioning it _I'm bored_. She grinned, sending the image to Emily. She only had to wait two minutes before her phone lit up with a message.

_You're such a dork :P_

Paige laughed quietly under her breath, pulling her notebook towards her to try and get back to studying. Her phone lit up again, this time the message making her heartbeat quicken.

_Meet me in the bathroom in 5._

Paige gulped; what was Emily up to? She sat there frozen for a moment, unsure whether this was a good idea or not. However, the urge to see Emily was stronger than the fear of getting caught in this instant, so she quickly packed up her books and made her way to the girls' bathroom.

Paige cautiously checked to make sure it was empty before entering the cubicle furthest away from the door. Not long after, she heard the door opening; she tensed, relaxing when she heard Emily's voice echoing around the room. "Paige?" she whispered hesitantly.

Paige opened the door of the cubicle, poking her head out. "In here." A wide grin spread over Emily's face, walking quickly towards her. Their mouths met as soon as the door was locked, sighing into each other.

"We only have a few minutes," Emily murmured against her lips. "Mr Blair just thinks I needed to use the bathroom." Paige's hands slipped under Emily's shirt, her fingers running over the bare skin of her waist. "But really, I just realised I hadn't told you how glad I am you bought this shirt." Emily ran her fingers over the collar of the dark green shirt she had purchased at the weekend, pulling the material so that Paige was yanked even closer to her.

"Yeah?" Paige hummed, slipping her tongue into Emily's mouth, pushing her against the wall. She couldn't get enough of her; it was never enough. Just as she was about to push her thigh in between Emily's, they heard the squeak of the bathroom door.

They both froze, Paige quickly clamping her hand over Emily's mouth. She didn't know why; it's not like Emily would have shouted out that they were in here. It was painful to keep her breathing quiet when her body was aching to take big lungfuls of air to recover from kissing Emily.

They stared at each other, Paige not failing to notice how Emily had the prettiest eyes she had ever seen as they listened to someone walk to the sinks. They heard a rummaging sound; they were probably topping up their make-up or something, Paige figured.

After what felt like an eternity, the door opened and closed again, both of them relaxing in relief. That was close; _too_ close. Emily smiled, not seeming as bothered as Paige felt about almost being caught. She gave her a quick kiss, saying, "I better get back to class before I get into trouble. I've already been away too long. Hey, are you okay?" Her face must have looked worried.

"Oh, yeah, I'm great." She kissed her again to prove her point. She had a feeling Emily would have probed her further but she didn't have the time, Paige grateful for that fact.

Emily opened the cubicle door, looking out to double check that they were alone. Paige could only give a forced smile as she said goodbye, leaning back against the wall once Emily had left, trying to ignore the shaking of her hands.

* * *

Paige was still feeling tense at lunch time, but she was doing her best not to show it. Hanna asking her and Emily how the week-long sleepover was going wasn't helping.

"I'm so jealous, that seems like so much fun," Hanna said. "What have you been up to? It looks like you've been tossing and turning all night." Paige almost choked on her water. Thankfully Emily was ready with an answer.

"Just watching loads of movies, really."

"Ugh, boring." Hanna rolled her eyes. Paige met Emily's gaze across the table and couldn't help but smile.

"Em also forgot to mention that she's a giant cover hog," Paige said, dodging the shred of lettuce that Emily threw her way. They all laughed, Paige's eyes landing on Spencer who was sitting directly across from her. The laughter died down, Spencer looking at her with inquisitive eyes; Paige looked away quickly, glancing back after a few seconds to see if she was still watching her. She was.

Oh god; she knows. _She knows._

Paige only released the breath she was holding when Spencer looked away. She wanted to make up an excuse and leave but she feared that might make it look even more obvious that there was something up with her.

She could barely pay attention to the rest of the conversation over lunch even though Spencer was acting perfectly normal again. Emily must have noticed that she was feeling agitated, catching her eyes and giving her a look to say 'What's wrong?' 

Paige gave the slightest shake of her head so that it was barely noticeable. 'Later.'

* * *

The opportunity didn't arise until after swim practice. As soon as they were sitting in the car in the quiet parking lot Paige blurted out, "Spencer knows."

Emily's expression turned serious instantly. "What? What do you mean? Knows what?"

"About us! Fuck," she said, throwing her hands over her face and trying not to cry.

"Paige." She ignored Emily, her mind reeling. What were they going to do? "Paige." Another person knowing just made this situation all the more real. She wasn't ready. "Paige!" Emily grabbed her wrist, pulling her hands away from her face. "Will you just look at me please?"

Paige complied, meeting Emily's gaze hopelessly. She held Paige's hand as she asked, "Now, why the hell do you think Spencer knows?"

Paige sighed. "I can't really explain it; I just know. She had this _look_ in her eye while we were at lunch." Paige studied Emily's face, annoyed to see a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "It's not funny," she said, pulling her hand from Emily's, crossing her arms and staring out of the window.

"I'm sorry, I know it's not. But she had a 'look in her eye'? Come on, Paige. I really doubt she knows anything." Paige continued to stare out of the window, unconvinced. She heard Emily sigh, placing a hand on her thigh. "Look, if I had a dollar for every time I thought that you had caught on to the fact that I liked you… well, I'd probably have five bucks, but you get my point. Having a secret sometimes comes with a degree of paranoia." Emily squeezed her thigh gently. "And I got the impression that in the bathroom today you got scared when someone walked in. Maybe the anxiety stemming from that -I don't know- manifested itself at lunch and made you think Spencer knew?"

Paige processed that theory for a moment, finally lacing her fingers through Emily's and turning back to face her. Emily gave her a reassuring smile. "You really think it's all in my head?" Paige began to latch onto that idea, hoping that if she believed it enough that it would be true.

"Well obviously I don't know for sure, but I definitely think that's the most likely explanation." Paige searched Emily's eyes to make sure that she wasn't just saying that; seeing nothing but honesty, Paige relaxed into the seat.

"You're right," she sighed. "I'm being stupid." She shook her head, as if it were physically possible to expel the thoughts from her mind.

Emily gave her hand a squeeze. "It's okay, I totally get it." Emily looked around them before placing a quick kiss to her hand. "Feeling better?"

Paige smiled. "Yeah, thank you."

* * *

**_Emily_ **

They were lying in the darkness of her room, Emily's head resting on Paige's shoulder, her hand flat on Paige's bare stomach under her t-shirt, finding her steady breathing soothing. The only sign that Paige was still awake was the light movement of her fingers on the small of her back.

She wanted to fall asleep, but she kept thinking about the conversation they'd had in the car. She'd felt confident at the time that Paige had just been imagining things, but what if she hadn't been? Spencer was clever; really clever. Emily began to think that it wasn't outside the realm of possibility that she had figured out something was different between her and Paige. Emily knew that sometimes her guard slipped when they were around other people; it could be possible that Paige's had too. There was no way she would tell Paige that though; not after how panicked she had been. But she had to ask the question that had been burning in her mind.

"Paige?"

It took her a moment to respond. "Hmm?" She sounded like she was on the brink of drifting off; Emily suddenly felt guilty.

"Never mind; it can wait."

They lay in silence again before Paige sighed. "What is it? I'm curious now."

Emily hesitated before speaking. "Okay, please don't freak out, this is just a question." She felt Paige tense immediately, Emily feeling stupid for starting like that. She traced invisible patterns over Paige's stomach to try and calm her. "But, would it be so bad? If Spencer -and Hanna and Aria- knew about us, I mean." Paige didn't answer her right away. Emily continued, "They wouldn't care. In fact, I'm pretty sure they would be excited for us."

"Emily…" Paige groaned. "We can't."

"I'm not saying we should tell them right now, I'm asking if it would be so bad?" Emily's voice was gentle, turning her head up to brush her nose against Paige's neck. "They wouldn't tell anyone."

"I know they wouldn't; that's not the point." Paige was starting to sound frustrated. Emily wanted to ask what the point _was_ , but decided against it when Paige whispered, "I can't talk about this right now, okay?"

"Okay," Emily replied, snuggling further into Paige to convey that she understood, Paige placing a kiss to her forehead in gratitude.

She was in no hurry to do it, but at some point Emily wanted to tell their friends that they were together; it would make this dream seem more like a reality, but she was pretty sure that was the reason that Paige _didn't_ want to tell them. It was one thing to like a girl; it was another to actually tell people about it.

Emily just hoped that Paige knew that they -and she- couldn't hide forever.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

The next day at school Paige kept an eye out for any indication that Spencer knew something, but she didn't notice anything unusual. Emily was right, she kept repeating to herself. It had all been in her head. She wanted to ask Spencer outright just to be sure, but she couldn't for obvious reasons.

She pushed it to the back of her mind; there were enough things to worry about without fixating on something that probably wasn't even true.

As the day wore on, Paige became increasingly anxious. Her parents returned tomorrow, and therefore so did reality. She was concerned about the conversation (if you could even call it that) she'd had with Emily last night before they fell asleep. She wondered if Emily knew that she might _never_ be able to tell people about them, even their friends, and wondered how long Emily would stick around once she found out.

Her stomach knotted.

"Hey, what you thinking about?" Emily asked, touching her arm briefly as they walked to swim practice. "You've gone all quiet."

Paige quickly shoved the thoughts out of her head. "Nothing. Just food, I'm starving."

Emily gave her a dubious look but didn't question her further. Instead, her face lit up as an idea came into her head. "Well, if you're hungry we could just head to The Grille after practice? And we could get ice cream after."

"Mmm, sounds tempting." She tried to ignore how it sounded like a date in public; it was perfectly normal for two friends to be seen out for dinner together, no one would suspect anything. "Let's do it."

Emily smiled.

* * *

They managed to find a small table near the back of the restaurant that wasn't exactly secluded, but it was far enough out the way that Paige felt safe enough to let her leg rest against Emily's underneath the table while they ate their food. Emily was sitting opposite her with her back to the door of The Grille.

"How did your Bio test go yesterday by the way? I meant to ask."

Emily flushed, swallowing a mouthful of food before saying, "Uh, I don't think I did my best. I was kinda… distracted, to say the least."

Now it was Paige's turn to blush, her mind going back to Wednesday night. She hadn't let herself overthink what they had done; it would only lead to anxiety. All she knew was that she had enjoyed it. A lot.

They smiled at each other, Emily looking at her from underneath her insanely long eyelashes in a way that made Paige want to leave and go somewhere private immediately. She slid her hand over the surface of the table towards Emily, stopping just behind the dessert menu that was in between them, her fingers spreading out over the wood. Emily mirrored her action so that both of their palms were flat on the table, but their fingers interlocked, concealed from the rest of the restaurant by the menu.

"Oh?" Paige teased, tilting her head sideways. "Why was that?"

Emily laughed, looking away and knocking her foot against Paige's. "Shut up." Paige grinned from ear to ear, happiness radiating from her. She happened to look up as people came through the doorway, her smile fading as she saw who it was. She subtly pulled her hand back towards her, Emily looking confused. "What is it?"

"Nothing." She focused intently on the plate in front of her, chasing a piece of salad around with her fork.

"Hi, Emily."

Paige gritted her teeth. Couldn't Maya see they were in the middle of eating?

"Oh, hey," Emily smiled politely. "Out for dinner?" Emily nodded behind Maya, throwing a quick wave to two people Paige had never seen before but assumed were Emily's neighbours and Maya's parents. It was actually surprising she hadn't seen them yet considering she had spent so much time at Emily's recently; Maya too for that matter. She wasn't complaining though.

"Yeah, it's Mom's birthday, so," Maya said, gesturing around them. She was blatantly ignoring Paige; they hadn't spoken since that first encounter in Emily's car. She had been jealous of the way Maya had acted towards Emily; she knew that now. And she still didn't like the way she looked at her; the way she was looking at her now.

"Aw, tell her happy birthday from me and Paige." Emily looked at her, eyes widening slightly.

"Uh… yeah," Paige said lamely, unable to come up with anything else to say, her eyes meeting Maya's briefly; her smile turned fake, Paige could tell. Emily cleared her throat uncomfortably.

"Well, I should probably leave you to it. See you around, Emily." Paige almost snorted at the pointed use of Emily's name.  Maya made her way to the opposite side of The Grille where her parents had taken a seat. Paige looked back to Emily, who had her lips pursed and a frown on her face.

"You do realise you were actually _scowling_ for a moment there?" There was an angry tone laced through Emily's words.

"So?" Paige didn't care if Maya liked her or not. "You know she's totally into you, right?"

Emily opened and closed her mouth to argue that fact, before a smirk appeared at the corners of her mouth. Paige laughed, taking a sip of her drink. "So what if she does?" Emily asked. "That's beside the point. She's a nice girl, Paige. You should at least try to act like you don't hate her. There's no need for you to be jealous."

Paige smiled shyly. "That obvious, huh?"

"Uh, yeah," Emily grinned, going back to her food. "You know, for someone who doesn't want anyone to know about us, I would maybe work on that." Paige's blood ran cold. Emily suddenly seemed to realise what she had said, looking up from her plate rapidly with a shocked expression. "Shit, sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"You think she knows about us?" Paige was horrified at her own stupidity for letting her emotions get the better of her.

"No," Emily stressed. "No. That was dumb for me to say; there's no way she knows. She doesn't even know about me, remember?"

Paige's brain was going a million miles a minute, but suddenly Emily's words sank in. Yeah, Maya couldn't know. She was being paranoid again. She released a breath, trying to get her heart rate back to normal. "I'm sorry," Emily said worriedly.

"It's okay," Paige sighed, nudging Emily's foot. "But do you want to get out of here? We can get the ice cream to go." Paige knew she would feel more comfortable if it were just the two of them again.

Emily studied her face for a moment. "Sure."

* * *

**_Emily_ **

They were sitting eating their ice cream in Emily's car on the deserted hilltop that overlooked the town. They had two small tubs, each a different flavour. "Switch," Paige said.

Emily passed the chocolate chip cookie dough to her, Paige handing her the chocolate fudge brownie in return. She was still feeling bad about what she had said during dinner; Paige was paranoid enough as it was without her adding fuel to the fire. Emily had literally seen the colour drain from her face when the words had left her mouth. Thankfully coming up here and getting away from everyone had returned Paige to her normal self.

"Mmm, this is so good," Paige said, licking her spoon clean. "I can't believe I hadn't tried this one before."

"I know, it's amazing," Emily agreed, looking over to see that Paige was eating it pretty fast. "Hey, don't finish it. I want some more of that one." Paige made a face, taking a huge spoonful and putting it in her mouth. Emily laughed, reaching over to try and snatch the tub back.

Paige held it away from her. "You can have the rest of the chocolate one."

"Why can't _you_ have the rest of that one?"

"Uh, 'cause this one's better," Paige said, quickly taking another spoonful. Emily placed the half-eaten tub of ice cream she was holding on the dashboard before lunging across the seat at Paige, trying to wrestle the tub from her hands. She ended up knocking Paige's spoon into her face, ice cream smearing across her chin, but Paige still managed to hold the ice cream out of her grasp.

They were both laughing so hard that they just lay shaking against each other for a moment. "Just give it up, Em. The cookie dough's mine." Without thinking, Emily swiped her tongue over the ice cream on Paige's chin, before sucking her bottom lip lightly in between her own. She pulled back, seeing Paige frozen in surprise; she plucked the ice cream out of her hand easily.

"Ha," she said, settling back into her own seat. "Victory!" Before she could get to eat any of the ice cream however, Paige was on her mouth, her tongue pushing past her lips to meet her own.

Emily moaned as Paige's mouth, still cold from the ice cream, trailed along her jaw and down her neck, her lips latching around her pulse point as her hand came up to grope her breast.

Emily shoved the cookie dough beside the other tub on the dashboard, her hands running up and down Paige's back trying to feel as much of her as possible. She grew frustrated with Paige's jacket getting in the way. She pulled Paige's mouth back to hers, murmuring against her mouth. "Take your jacket off." Paige took a second to comply, finally detaching herself from Emily's lips and struggling to take her jacket off in the enclosed space; Paige having to lean over the parking brake between them couldn't exactly be comfortable either. "Let's get in the back," she suggested.

Paige looked at her with dark eyes before nodding quickly, both of them exiting the car to get into the backseat. Emily quickly took off her own jacket, throwing it onto the driver's seat before closing the door. She had a brief look around to make sure that they were alone before climbing into the backseat with Paige.

Paige slid over to the middle seat, groaning as their mouths connected once more. Emily needed to be closer; she manoeuvred herself so that she was straddling Paige's lap, Paige's arms wrapping around her back, Emily's hands going around Paige's neck. Paige's hands made their way under her t-shirt, gliding over the back of her bra. "Take it off," Emily gasped against her mouth, nipping at her lips.

"What?" Paige slurred, following Emily's mouth when she began to pull back.

"My bra; take it off."

Paige stilled for a moment, before kissing her slowly and deeply. A few more minutes passed before Paige's hand made its way to the clasp of her bra, fumbling slightly. Emily felt her bra come loose, leaning back to slide the straps down her arms from underneath her t-shirt. Paige was watching her every move, her eyes wide, her breathing laboured. Emily reached under her t-shirt to pull her bra free, discarding it off to the side.

Paige's hands, which had been resting on her bare hips, began to move upwards as Emily leaned back into her, Emily burying her hand into Paige's hair.

Paige's hands ran over her stomach before finally making their way up to cup her bare breasts, both of them gasping apart from the kiss. Emily's rested her forehead against Paige's, trying not to completely lose control as Paige ran her thumbs tentatively over her hardened nipples.

"Fuck," Paige whispered, her mouth moving to Emily's neck, biting gently at her skin before soothing it over with her tongue. Her fingers continued to explore beneath Emily's shirt, her nails raking lightly over her nipples, Emily groaning softly. The ache between her legs was getting unbearable, Paige obviously feeling the same, gasping, "I want you," against her neck, pinching a nipple between her fingers as she palmed the other.

Emily could only moan in response, crashing their lips together again. Emily felt one of Paige's hands travel down to the top of her jeans, swiftly undoing the button there. Paige began to push Emily backwards so that she could lie down on the seat.

_Oh god, oh god. Is this actually happening?_

Emily pulled Paige aggressively on top of her, lying back quickly. A sudden pain seared through the back of her skull; she had smacked it against the car door.

"Shit! Are you okay?" Paige asked, breathing heavily as Emily grunted in pain, clutching the tender spot on her head tightly.

"Ouch," Emily said with watery eyes. Paige's hand batted her own away, running her fingers softly over the area where Emily had hit her head. Emily closed her eyes, letting Paige rub it better.

"I'm sorry," Paige said softly.

Emily's eyes opened. "Don't be, it wasn't your fault." She laughed under her breath. "We both got a little carried away." The blow to the head had knocked some sense into her; what were they doing? They couldn't have their first time in the backseat of a _car._ That wasn't romantic; that wasn't the way Emily had imagined it.

Paige's head flopped down onto her shoulder seeming to have come to the same conclusion. "We should probably go home." Emily played with the hair at the back of her neck, sighing.

"Yeah." They made no effort to move. "I wish my parents weren't home right now." Paige lifted her head, a small smile on her lips. Emily almost suggested they go to Paige's most-likely empty house, but figured Paige probably wouldn't go for that. Maybe it was a good thing that they would have to wait a bit longer even if it was slowly killing her.

Paige kissed her chastely before struggling to get off of her, finally managing to sit back on her heels. Emily saw Paige's gaze focus on her unbuttoned jeans and slightly uplifted t-shirt, before she quickly cleared her throat and exited the car to go back to the passenger seat. Emily inhaled deeply before doing up her jeans and heaving herself out after Paige.

Paige was pacing around outside, cooling herself down from the heat of the car. Emily fanned herself, the cold air feeling good on her skin.

"Uh…" Paige smirked. "I think you forgot something." Emily frowned slightly before she saw where Paige was looking. She snorted, crossing her arms over her chest and going to the back of the car again to root around for her bra. Rather than awkwardly try to put it back on, she shoved it into her bag and just shrugged her jacket back on over her t-shirt.

She had to crack a window to help clear the fogged up windows, eyes meeting with Paige shyly. Just as she was about to drive them home, she noticed the now-melted ice cream sitting on the dashboard. "You want to fight me for this?" she asked, showing Paige the runny mess inside the tubs.

"Yeah, actually," Paige said, taking one of the cups and downing its contents. "Hmm, not bad."

Emily laughed.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

She couldn't sleep, unable to stop herself thinking about her parents return tomorrow. She checked the time on her phone, squinting at the light in the darkness. 2:03am.

She felt cold without Emily snuggled into her. They had agreed that it was best if they slept further apart tonight since it was too high a risk that they could end up continuing from where they had left off in the car. Paige was desperate for that to happen, but she knew they couldn't do it with Emily's parents in the house. She didn't even feel comfortable repeating what they had done on Wednesday night (she flushed as the phrase 'dry humping' entered her mind). That had been a spur of the moment thing, neither of them thinking about the possibility of being heard.

But this was her last night sharing a bed with Emily. She couldn't lie here beside her and not touch her.

She rolled over towards her, wrapping an arm around her to pull herself flush against Emily's back. Emily sighed in her sleep as Paige closed her eyes, inhaling the scent of Emily's hair deeply, their feet tangling together.

Emily kept Paige's anxiety about the following day from seeping in, and finally she managed to drift off into peaceful dreams where she and Emily could just _be_.


	11. Chapter 11

**_Paige_ **

The time had come; her parents would be dropping by to pick her up in ten minutes.

She hadn't realised how much her belongings had spilled out all over the place during the week, having to scour Emily's room to locate pieces of jewellery, schoolwork and even the odd sock.

"Here," Emily said, walking into the room and holding out Paige's toothbrush.

"Thanks." She took the toothbrush and shoved it into her bag, having one final glance around the room to make sure she had everything before zipping the bag shut. She sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking up at Emily sadly.

Emily sat beside her, putting an arm around her neck and placing a kiss to the side of her head. "Is it weird to say that I'm going to miss you?"

Paige reached up to hold Emily's hand, kissing her knuckles softly. "Not at all; I feel exactly the same." She tucked her head under Emily's chin, her eyes closing.

"I wonder how long it would take my parents to notice if I secretly moved you in," Emily mused, Paige smiling into her neck.

"If only."

They just sat there savouring the moment, before having to separate at the sound of someone coming up the stairs. Emily jumped up from the bed, walking casually towards the window seat.

Pam appeared in the doorway. "I'm just wondering if you're staying for lunch, Paige?"

"Oh, no thanks, Mrs Fields," Paige smiled. "My parents should be here any minute now. Thanks anyway." Paige leaned over to pick up the spare house key she had been given off of the bedside table, standing up to take it over to Pam.

Pam took it off her with a smile. "Well, it's been nice having you here."

"And thank you so much for having me," she replied. They heard a knock on the front door downstairs. "That'll be them," Paige sighed. Emily's mom left to go and answer the door while Paige turned to get her bag. Emily beat her to it however, darting over and heaving it off of the bed.

"What're you doing?" Paige asked, amused.

"What does it look like? Carrying your bag." Emily kissed her briefly on her way past, Paige having to squash the butterflies in her stomach before following after her. She could hear both her parents speaking to Pam as she made her way downstairs, making sure to plaster a smile onto her face when she saw them.

"Hey," they said simultaneously, looking genuinely happy to see her. She suddenly felt guilty for dreading their return. She walked into her mom's open arms, weirdly feeling like she wanted to cry. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she turned to hug her dad.

"Did you girls have fun?" she heard her mom ask, most likely looking at Emily since she answered quickly.

"Yeah, it was great." Paige stepped away from her dad, turning to see Emily running a hand through her hair, shifting awkwardly.

"They've been inseparable," Pam said fondly, putting a hand on Emily's back. Paige met Emily's eyes, both of them laughing nervously.

"Maybe we should have stayed away longer then," her mom joked. Paige was desperate for a change in subject, and so was Emily going by the way she was smiling at her feet.

Thankfully her dad seemed like he was ready to get home. "Well, better get going. The workmen are waiting at the house for me to check out the bathroom. Thanks again, Pam. You and Wayne have been a great help."

"Not a problem, Paige is welcome anytime," Pam smiled.

Her dad reached forward to pick up the bag from where Emily had left it and walked out to the car. "Thanks again," Paige said, stepping forward to hug Pam. She was about to hug Emily before she just decided to say, "Text you later?" Emily nodded.

"See you."

Paige followed her mom out of the house, smiling sadly as she waved goodbye to Emily over her shoulder.

* * *

They had only been home an hour when Paige remembered why she preferred staying at Emily's.

"So, have you got that sheet of times I asked for?" her dad asked.

"Nick!" her mom chastised. "What did I tell you?"

"What? I didn't ask her right away."

Paige sighed as she went to retrieve the piece of paper she'd got from Coach, knowing her dad wouldn't let up until he saw them. She had been embarrassed asking for the sheet but Coach Fulton thankfully hadn't made a fuss, even saying, "You can tell your dad I won't be deciding who's anchoring for another three weeks, but you have a very good chance of getting it." Paige had smiled gratefully; it wasn't something that she had ever really spoken about, but Coach Fulton seemed to understand that she found the pressure that her dad put on her difficult to cope with at times.

She returned to the living room where her parents were sitting, handing her dad the sheet. "Let's see," he said, using his finger to browse down the list of her times for that week. "Pretty good," he said after a moment, Paige slumping slightly in relief; she knew she hadn't done her absolute best this week since living with Emily was kind of distracting, but he didn't seem disappointed. "And you kept up with the rest of your training this week?"

"Yes," Paige nodded impatiently, glad that she didn't have to lie, having made the effort to get out of bed every day of the week no matter how tempting it had been to stay cuddled up with Emily. "Oh, and Coach also said that I have a good chance at anchoring at the next meet, but she won't be making a final decision for another few weeks."

"Good, I'm proud of you," he smiled, Paige silently wishing that he could be proud of her even if she didn't make anchor. Even when she was appointed co-captain of the team along with Emily, he couldn't just congratulate them both. No, that wasn't good enough; he always wanted her to be the best. "What were Emily's times like this week?"

Paige almost rolled her eyes but managed to stop herself. "I don't know, Dad. I couldn't exactly ask for a sheet of her times as well." When she competed against Emily, yes, she wanted to win, but an element of friendliness was always maintained between them; she won some races and Emily won others, that's the way it was. Her dad always tried to turn it into something more serious, saying, "You should only be thinking about yourself, Paige. This is your future we're talking about." It frustrated her.

"Well, did you race one-on-one at all? Did you win?"

Paige gritted her teeth. "Okay, Nick, I think that's enough swim talk for today," her mom interjected, Paige shooting her a thankful look.

He sighed. "Fine; just remember about the scouts at the next meet. Keep track of that and you'll do great."

Paige walked to her room, violently emptying the bag she had been using all week and throwing all her dirty clothes into the hamper in the hallway. She hated how easily her dad could get under her skin. She closed her eyes and counted to ten, breathing slowly and deeply. This was a technique that Coach had told her about last year when she saw her getting frustrated in the water; she had heard of it before but hadn't really thought it would be effective. Coach had urged her to at least try it and to Paige's surprise, it had actually helped.

Feeling calmer, she went back to her room, already wanting to text Emily. She resisted the urge, feeling like that would be a bit pathetic; she had only left her about an hour ago. _Get a grip, Paige._

She switched on her TV, settling back against the pillows on her bed and trying to think about anything other than Emily.

* * *

"So, have you spoken to Sean recently?"

Paige sighed, shaking her head at her mom across the dining table. "No, Mom. Why would I have? We're not together anymore, remember?" When she had told her parents that she was no longer seeing Sean, they had been disappointed to say the least; he was Reverend Ackard's son; a star athlete on the football team; he got on well with everyone. Overall, he was a nice, responsible guy; she could see why her parents liked the two of them dating.

She had deliberately told them that they had broken up just before she was going out so that they didn't have time to grill her for details. They had tried to do so since, but she shut them down quickly, making it clear that she wasn't going to expand on the matter.

"I know, but I just thought that you would have worked out your issues by now," her mom continued. "You make such a lovely couple."

"Mom! We're over; that's all there is to it."

"He better not have done anything to hurt you," her dad said protectively.

"He didn't, so can we just drop it please?" Paige clenched her jaw, deciding the faster she ate, the faster she could return to her room. She started shovelling food into her mouth, chewing quickly.

There was a brief silence, interrupted only by the scraping of forks on plates; Paige tuned out as her dad started talking about some conversation he'd had at the conference.

She thought about calling up the girls and arranging something for tomorrow; she didn't think she could spend the whole day trapped inside with her parents. Or she might be made to go to church which would be even worse.

She had initially managed to stop going early last year by claiming she had to train since she had to be her best for this year, knowing that swimming would be the only reason her dad would let her off. These days she didn't train on weekends since she did so much during the week, but she usually made herself appear busy just in case her dad tried to make her go again.

"...gay marriage, and he said he was going to perform a ceremony in a few weeks. Unbelievable." Paige's stomach dropped as she became acutely aware of the conversation that was happening at the dinner table, unable to stop her head from jerking in the direction of her dad. "Two men getting married, and in a _church_? What is the world coming to?" he continued.

Paige looked over to see her mom's reaction to the remark; she was shaking her head saying, "I know; it's not right."

Paige felt sick, a hollow pit forming inside of her.

She stared at her plate, not taking in the rest of their words. She must have zoned out completely, because suddenly her dad was touching her shoulder asking if she was alright; she jumped at the contact.

"What?"

"I said are you okay? You look a bit pale."

"Actually, I'm not feeling very well. I think I need to go lie down." Her voice sounded foreign to her own ears. She stood up, taking her plate to the sink before making her way upstairs. She sat on the edge of her bed, feeling completely numb.

Her phone buzzed. She picked it up distractedly, looking at the text on the screen.

_What are you up to? I'm lonely without you :-(_

Silent tears spilled down her cheeks, Emily's message blurring in front of her. She lay down on her side, clutching the phone to her chest, the words _It's not right_ echoing through her head. She turned her face into her pillow as a quiet sob escaped her throat, hating her parents, hating herself.

* * *

Her tears had dried. She wasn't sure how much time had passed, but she was now lying in complete darkness.

She saw a light being turned on in the hallway through the gap between her door and the floor, followed by the sound of footsteps on the stairs. She turned onto her other side, facing away from the door and ignoring the quiet knock on the wood.

She made sure to keep her breathing deep and even as the door opened and light spilled into the room. She wasn't sure if it was her mom or dad; not that it mattered; she didn't want to speak to either of them. After what felt like an eternity, the door eventually closed gently, Paige listening intently as the footsteps retreated back down the hallway and down the stairs.

She sighed, checking the time on her phone; at least two hours had passed since dinner. Without thinking, she scrolled to Emily's name, putting the phone to her ear. Emily answered after two rings.

"Hey," she said cheerily. "I was beginning to wonder if I was going to hear from you."

"Sorry," Paige said, swallowing; her throat was painfully dry. There was a pause on the other end of the line, Emily obviously waiting for her to say something else.

"So, what are you doing?" Emily finally said, a puzzled tone lacing her words.

"Not much," she replied, her eyes closing at the sound of Emily's voice. She reached up to grab one of her spare pillows and hugged it to her chest, pretending that Emily was there with her in the bed. There was another silence.

"Paige, are you okay? You're acting weird." Emily sounded worried. "Did something happen?" she added when Paige didn't respond.

"I just needed to hear your voice," Paige whispered. "Can you just talk for a bit? Please?"

"About what?"

"Anything."

"Okay," Emily said unsurely, before starting to tell her about her day. It hadn't been very eventful, but it didn't matter. Lying there in the dark with Emily's voice speaking into her ear, the pain lessened.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

She was on her way over to Spencer's where they had all been invited. Spencer wanted them to meet Toby, since Paige, Hanna and Aria hadn't been properly introduced.

Emily had offered to give Paige a lift since she wanted to talk about last night, but Paige had replied that she was already there, having decided to take her bike. She didn't know why, but there had been something _off_ with Paige last night and it was eating away at her.

She had text her that morning asking if everything was okay, and Paige hadn't _ignored_ her exactly, but she hadn't answered the question either. She didn't know if she would get an opportunity to get Paige to open up about it today, but she was sure going to try.

She parked outside of Spencer's house, walking up by the side of the house and ducking down to peer through the window of the door into Spencer's living room. Seeing her friends gathered on the sofa, she opened the door.

"Hey," she said, entering the room and moving to perch on the arm of the couch beside Hanna. Her eyes flitted around the room, landing briefly on Paige who shot her a quick smile. "Where's Aria?" Emily asked, noticing she was missing.

Spencer grabbed Toby's wrist, twisting his watch towards her to check the time. "She should be here soon. She said she was busy but would be over around half twelve." Emily smiled at how coupley Spencer and Toby looked sitting on the couch opposite, Toby's arm around her shoulders, Spencer's hand on his thigh.

"Aw," she said turning to look at Hanna and Paige. "Look how sweet they look." They all laughed, Emily removing her jacket before shifting down onto the seat beside Hanna.

"I know, I already told them that," Hanna grinned.

"Well, I'm glad you approve," Toby said, gesturing to Emily, Hanna and Paige.

"Me too." Spencer turned to peck Toby's lips before turning back to face them. "So, you want to just hang here for a while? My parents and Melissa are out for the day." Emily nodded along with Hanna and Paige as Spencer stood up to go to the kitchen. "Let's see what there is to eat," Spencer mumbled on her way by. Toby stood up and followed her to the kitchen.

"He's like an adorable puppy following her around," Hanna whispered. "It's cute."

"Yeah, they seem really happy. Good job on that one, Em," Paige said, leaning around Hanna so that she could see her. Emily smiled.

"Back in a minute, I need to pee," Hanna said, suddenly standing up and hurrying upstairs. Emily looked into the kitchen to see Spencer and Toby preoccupied looking through the cupboards.

Emily shifted closer to Paige, speaking quietly. "Hey, so what _was_ that last night?"

"What was what?"

"There was something wrong. I could hear it in your voice."

Paige looked away. "It was nothing; I already told you." Emily couldn't help but rest her hand beside Paige's so that their pinkies were touching.

"Paige…"

"Look, Emily. Just drop it, please," she said under her breath, jumping slightly when the door opened.

Aria rushed in. "Hey, sorry I'm late."

Paige stood up, smiling. "Don't worry, you haven't missed anything. We're just about to eat." Paige walked into the kitchen to help with the food, Emily watching her as she went, not feeling any better about the situation.

Aria sat down on the couch with a sigh, Emily deciding she would just need to try asking Paige again later. "So, where were you?" she asked Aria.

"Huh?" Aria said, her eyes widening, freezing slightly. "Oh, my mom needed my help with something on the computer." Emily frowned in confusion at Aria's reaction. Was she not telling her something as well as Paige? "Hey, Han," Aria said quickly as Hanna came back downstairs.

"Decided to finally show then?" she said in a jokey tone.

"Okay, I wasn't _that_ late; I didn't realise we ran on such a strict time schedule." Aria went to join the group in the kitchen; Emily didn't know what they had decided to make but it smelled amazing. Her stomach growled with hunger.

"She's totally hiding something," Hanna said quietly, looking at Aria.

"Right?" Emily said, nodding. "I just noticed that she was acting really weird there when I asked where she was." Emily got lost in thought for a moment, wondering if she and Paige were any better at concealing their secret; she hoped so. "You think she's seeing someone that she doesn't want us to know about?" Emily asked, searching Hanna's face to see if she was looking at her like she was the pot calling the kettle black. Seeing no hint of accusation towards her, she allowed herself to relax.

"I have no idea, but I'm gonna find out," Hanna said determinedly.

* * *

"Right, I said I'd go meet Caleb," Hanna said, stretching as she stood up.

They had been sitting on the couch all afternoon just talking about anything and everything, allowing Paige, Hanna and Aria to get to know Toby. Emily was happy that they all seemed to really like him.

 Emily's worry about Paige had settled; Paige must have sensed the anxiety since she had made sure to discreetly touch Emily in reassurance, whether it be their shoulders resting against each other as they sat side-by-side on the couch, or Paige's hand subtly resting on her foot which was curled up underneath her on the cushion. The touches were small but comforting.

Hanna looked around at them, giving them a pointed look. "Don't you guys have somewhere to be too?" Emily was confused before Hanna gave a not-so-subtle jerk of her head in the direction of Spencer and Toby.

"Oh, yeah," Emily said, catching on to the fact that they might want to take advantage of having the house to themselves. Toby must have also figured out what Hanna was implying, laughing and putting his palm to his face. "I have, uh, homework," Emily added.

"Jeez, you guys," Spencer laughed, shaking her head in amusement, but Emily saw her stand up and whisper a thank you into Hanna's ear.

They said their goodbyes, Emily feeling slightly jealous; she didn't know how long she and Paige would have to wait to have some decent alone time. It could be tomorrow or it could be weeks. She had a feeling though that at the next opportunity they wouldn't be able to stop themselves from going all the way, judging by the way things had escalated in her car.

"Hey, Aria, wait up," Hanna said, hurrying after her down Spencer's path, no doubt to badger her about why she's been acting so strange.

Emily walked with Paige as she wheeled her bike out of Spencer's yard. "Do you want to do something? You could get your bike and we could go to the park?" Paige suggested.

Emily really did have homework due for tomorrow, but she couldn't resist spending more time with Paige; she hadn't even kissed her today, she realised. "Sounds good," she smiled.

* * *

As it turned out, they couldn't even kiss at the park. It seemed like the whole of Rosewood had decided to enjoy the crisp fresh air, making it impossible to find a quiet spot. They cycled slowly back to Emily's house, the sky starting to darken.

"You could always come in?" Emily said, hopping off of her bike.

"I don't think that would be the best idea; your parents are in," Paige smiled, ducking her head.

Emily raised her eyebrows with a smirk. "So? I was talking about inviting you in for a cup of tea. Mind in the gutter much?"

"Shut up," Paige grinned, her cheeks reddening. Emily dumped her bike on the ground, grabbing Paige's wrist and dragging her around to the side of the house, out of sight of any prying eyes. She looped her fingers through the belt loops on Paige's pants, tugging her towards her.

Paige laughed against her lips, her hands coming up to cup Emily's face. Emily backed Paige against the wall of the house, kissing her fervently. She eventually pulled back, resting her forehead against Paige's. "I was beginning to think I wasn't going to get to kiss you today." She captured Paige's lips in another kiss.

Paige's hands trailed down her arms, intertwining their fingers. "I know; it sucks. I think that week staying with you spoiled us."

They kissed for a while, Paige pulling back with a gasp when Emily's hands started to roam places they shouldn't. "I should probably go," she said reluctantly. A sadness passed over her face that Emily didn't think was just from not being able to continue this elsewhere.

Emily rested her hands on Paige's neck, saying, "Paige, please tell me what happened yesterday." Paige sighed in frustration, looking like she was ready to argue. Emily quickly kissed her again, trying to make her relax and coax the answer out of her. "It's not good for you to keep things pent up inside."

Paige seemed to consider Emily's words carefully before finally mumbling, "It was just something my parents said at dinner last night, alright? It got to me."

Emily didn't have to think very hard to imagine what her parents could have said to cause such a reaction from Paige. "Something homophobic?" she asked tentatively. Paige averted her gaze, giving Emily her answer. She didn't know what to say to make her feel better, so she just hugged her tightly, placing a kiss into her hair.

It sent her mind thinking about her own parents; her mom in particular. She was old-fashioned and most likely wouldn't have the best of reactions when Emily finally found the courage to tell her she was gay. But thankfully her dad was a bit more open-minded and would hopefully be more understanding. Both of Paige's parents were traditionalists, Emily thinking it must be even scarier for her to contemplate telling her parents about them.

"Thank you for telling me," Emily said gently, glad that Paige had opened up to her. Paige hugged her tighter.

"Thank you for persuading me to."

* * *

The next couple of weeks passed quickly, Emily's workload increasing every day with midterms slowly approaching. She hadn't been able to spend as much time with Paige as she would have liked, both of them juggling schoolwork, swimming and their friends.

When they did manage to steal some alone time, it was heated and intense. Emily couldn't believe their luck; neither of their parents had been out of the house long enough for them to go physically further in their relationship. Emily blushed; they hadn't spoken about it directly, but she was assuming that Paige was as ready as she was to go to that next step. Especially considering the way Paige had groped her that morning while on their run, attacking her mouth and neck so aggressively that Emily almost took her clothes off there and then.

She heard a knock at the front door, opening it to find Hanna. "Hey." Hanna had come over to borrow books she needed for school since Emily didn't currently need them.

"God, it's freezing out there," Hanna complained, rubbing her hands together as she stepped into the house.

They went up to her room, Emily dumping a whole load of math books onto her bed. "Help yourself," she gestured.

"Thanks," Hanna said. "I really didn't want to have to spend money on this crap." She rifled through the selection of books, Emily crawling onto the bed beside her. Emily was in the middle of thinking about what work she had left to do that night when Hanna suddenly squealed, " _Emily Fields!_ "

Emily jumped slightly, the unexpected outburst giving her a fright. "What the hell?"

"Is that a _hickey_ on your neck?"

Emily froze, quickly covering her neck with her hair. "What? No," she said quickly. Shit. She hadn't even realised that Paige had left a mark. The shirt she had worn today must have covered it up or else she would have seen it when looking in the mirror at school. She had changed into a comfy t-shirt once she'd gotten home. _Thank god swim practice was off today_.

"Oh my god, it totally is. Let me see." Hanna lunged towards her, Emily trying to bat her hands away. Hanna managed to shift her hair out of the way, tilting her head so that she could see the mark better.

"It's not a hickey; I burnt myself with straighteners this morning," Emily explained desperately.

Hanna looked at her doubtfully. "Emily, I know a hickey when I see one."

Emily could only stare at Hanna before deflating in defeat. "Is it really bad?" she grimaced.

"Nothing that you won't be able to hide with some make-up," Hanna stated, finally letting go of her head. Emily stood up and closed her bedroom door, not wanting her parents to hear the assault of questions Hanna was about to throw at her, before going to examine her neck in the mirror.

"Crap," Emily whispered, seeing a small but obvious hickey on her skin. God, what if her mom or dad had seen it? She would have been mortified.

"So?" Hanna said. "You gonna tell me where you got that from?"

"Um…" Emily stalled, having no idea what to say. "No," she said simply.

"It wasn't Aria, was it?" They both laughed, Emily's heart beating faster at the fact that Hanna wasn't that far off from the truth. "Come on, Em. Are you seeing someone?" Emily struggled to maintain eye contact as she denied it, but Hanna didn't buy it. "Oh my god, you are! Who is she?"

Emily sighed, going back to sit on the bed. "I can't tell you."

"Why not?" Hanna shot back, disappointment appearing on her face.

"I just can't, okay? It's complicated. She-the girl I'm seeing- isn't out so we're just keeping things between us for now."

Hanna mulled the information over, a smile eventually forming on her lips. "Okay. I can understand that; it's pretty sweet, actually. So, how long has this been going on?"

Emily deliberately kept the details vague, not wanting to give Hanna any clues to piece together. "Not that long."

"What does she look like? Is she cute?"

"I can't tell you that either, but yes, very." Emily almost laughed, the whole conversation feeling surreal.

"Looks like you're getting to know each other pretty well," Hanna said, nodding at her neck. "Have you done it yet?"

"Hanna!" Emily flushed, looking away. She had always been quite reserved when talking about things like this; Hanna was the complete opposite.

"Well, have you?" Hanna grinned, leaning forward in anticipation of her answer.

Emily couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. "Not exactly, but we're getting there."

Hanna gripped her knee in excitement. "Emily! I can't believe you hid this from me; this is great. I'm really happy for you. Does anyone else know?"

"No!" Emily said, surprised at how loud the word came out. "And they can't know. You're not even supposed to know." Emily gulped, imagining how freaked out Paige would be that Hanna was one step closer to finding out about them. "Please promise you won't say a word."

Hanna's expression sobered at Emily's panic. "Whoa, calm down. I promise I won't say anything."

Relief washed over her. "Okay, thank you."

Hanna went back to browsing the books before looking quickly up at her again. "Oh, and I want to hear all the details when you finally lose your V card."

Emily rolled her eyes, knowing there was no way that she would divulge that information, but she felt oddly happy at being able to share her relationship with Paige with Hanna, even if she didn't actually _know_ it was Paige she was seeing.

She was sure that Paige wouldn't share that sentiment though; this was going to have to be something that she would have to keep to herself.


	12. Chapter 12

**_Paige_ **

"Can you see it if I do this?" Emily asked.

Paige studied Emily, her head tilting to the side. "No, but walking around with your hand on your neck is gonna look weird." Emily groaned in frustration. They were alone in the locker room for their morning swim, trying to figure out how to hide the hickey she had accidentally given Emily. It was fine when Emily had her hair and clothes to hide the mark, but her hair was currently tucked under a swim cap and her neck was left exposed for everyone to see. "But it looks like the only option. God, I'm such an idiot." She was feeling anxious that there was physical evidence of their relationship on display. She shouldn't have let herself get carried away like that; she just wanted Emily so badly.

"I'll just need to make sure I'm in the water as much as possible," Emily sighed, shutting her locker and walking over to her.

"Have you got a story ready in case someone sees it?" Paige asked, her hands twitching.

"Paige, if anyone sees it they'll know it's a hickey, there's not really much to tell," Emily said, massaging her forehead as if she were getting a headache.

"But what if Spencer, Hanna or Aria see it? They'll want to know who gave you it."

Emily was quiet for a moment before she took Paige's face in her hands and looked directly into her eyes. "Is Spencer, Hanna or Aria on the swim team?" Paige shook her head when she realised Emily actually wanted her to answer the question. "Well then, they're not going to see it. And I highly doubt anyone on the team will ask about it, so will you just relax?" Emily kissed her quickly, walking past her to make her way to the pool.

Paige trailed after her, trying to listen to Emily's logic. Paige was extremely grateful that Emily put up with her paranoia, constantly reassuring her. She knew it must be irritating for Emily; she was even starting to annoy herself. But she didn't know any other way. People couldn't know; it wasn't an option.

Emily dove into the pool, starting to swim at a steady pace to the other side. Paige couldn't help but stand and watch her move flawlessly through the water.

Emily swam back, lifting up her goggles to look at her. "What're you doing?" She wiped a hand over her face, smearing water droplets down her cheek.

Paige smiled, looking over to check that Coach Fulton wasn't in her office before sitting on the edge of the pool and sliding into the water beside Emily, shivering in the coldness. "Just watching you." Emily blushed, Paige reaching out under the water to touch the side of Emily's thigh lightly.

Paige saw her gulp, her eyes darkening. Paige's index finger slipped slightly under the elastic of Emily's swimsuit at her hip, playing with the material. Emily's eyes closed before she cleared her throat, quickly removing Paige's hand and lacing their fingers together. They stared at each other a moment before Emily smirked, inhaling and disappearing under the water. Paige felt her tug on her hand, asking her to follow.

Paige took a breath, sinking below the surface, water rushing around her ears, blocking out the world around them. Her eyes stung slightly as she opened them, having forgotten to pull her goggles down, but she could make out Emily smiling at her. Emily's hand travelled to the back of her neck, pulling Paige towards her, their lips connecting. Paige wrapped her arms around Emily's body, feeling safe and secure suspended in the water with Emily.

Paige felt Emily smile against her mouth, air bubbles escaping and tickling her cheek. They broke apart, rising to the surface and laughing. Emily was still close to her, running the back of her fingers over Paige's stomach. "Um, we should probably start swimming," she said quietly.

It took every fibre of Paige's being to move back from her, clearing her throat. "Yeah."

* * *

Thankfully the week's swim practices passed without incident, Emily assuring her that no one had mentioned the hickey. The mark was barely noticeable now, much to their delight. Paige had promised to be more cautious in the future, her stomach flipping when Emily had implied she only had to be careful on the skin that would be visible to other people.

It was Friday afternoon, just after their swim practice had finished, when Coach Fulton approached her. "Paige, can I speak to you for a moment?" She signalled to follow her into her office.

Paige looked over at Emily, raising her eyebrows. Emily smiled, nodding towards the retreating coach in encouragement. Paige made her way to the office, closing the door behind her.

"So, I'm sure you know what this about," Coach Fulton said, a kind expression on her face. Hope swelled inside of Paige. "I want you to anchor the meet in Philly on Wednesday."

"Yes," Paige said instantly, a huge grin spreading across her face. This was her chance to show the scouts what she could do, and her dad would be so happy with her. She sighed, some of the heaviness that had been on her shoulders seeping away. "Thanks, Coach."

"No problem, you earned it."

Paige walked to the locker room in high spirits, Emily giving her a quick hug when she saw her. Paige's face must have given away the fact that she got the anchor spot. "Congrats!"

"Thanks," Paige smiled, happy that Emily didn't seem upset. "Now I just hope I don't screw it up." She hoped that the pressure of the scouts being there didn't impact on her performance.

"You won't," Emily said confidently.

* * *

As expected, her dad was thrilled when she told him, and Paige was so pleased that she didn't even get irritated by his motivational speech that followed.

And the day was about to get even better.

They had just finished eating dinner when her dad received a text. He cursed under his breath. "What is it?" her mom asked, brow furrowing.

"Bill's just asked if I can attend the business meeting in Scranton tomorrow morning; he's come down with a sickness bug." He sighed, scratching his head as he considered his options. "It's at half nine so I'd probably have to get a room for tonight."

Her mom frowned. "Oh, honey, that's a bit late notice, is it not? We had lunch plans for tomorrow."

"I know. I'm sorry, but it's important and I'm the only one who can go." He looked guilty at having to cancel their plans. "Hey, why don't you come with me? I can go to the meeting and then we can make a day of it in Scranton?"

Paige's heart rate increased. Say yes. _Say yes._

"Hmm, that could work." She looked at Paige hesitantly. "You don't mind staying in yourself for the night, do you?"

Paige tried not to shake her head too enthusiastically. "No, that's fine. You should go."

"Great," her dad smiled, standing up as he began to phone someone, probably the hotel he usually stayed in when he had business in Scranton.

About an hour and a half later, Paige was watching anxiously from her bedroom window as her parents car drove off down the road. She waited until she could no longer see them, making sure they were truly gone, before grabbing her phone off of her bed to call Emily.

"Hey, are you busy?" Paige asked, trying not to sound too excited.

"Not really, just doing some calculus homework. Please tell me you have something better to offer," Emily pleaded.

Paige bit her lip. "Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come over?"

There was silence on the other end of the line, Emily eventually saying, "Okay?"

Paige realised that Emily hadn't been over to her house since they began seeing each other. It hadn't been a conscious thing (or had it?); it was just the way things had worked out. "Oh, my parents are away to Scranton for the night," she added, cringing slightly at how obvious this conversation was sounding, but thankfully Emily didn't seem to mind.

"Oh." Paige could hear the smile in her voice. "Um, give me an hour?"

"Sure, see you then." Paige hung up, exhaling a breath, a smile still on her face. She stood there rooted to the spot, the enormity of what was about to happen suddenly dawning on her. _Jesus._ She tried her best not to hyperventilate.

She had a quick glance around her room, deciding she should tidy it a bit before Emily came around. It wasn't even that messy, but it distracted her from overthinking the evening ahead. Twenty minutes later and her phone rang. Paige picked it up quickly, worrying when she saw it was Emily. "Hey, everything alright?"

"Yeah, I just forgot to ask; do you want me to stay over? Just so I know what to tell my parents and whether to bring an overnight bag and-"

"Yes, Emily. I want you to stay." Paige was glad that she wasn't the only one feeling nervous.

"Okay, good. I mean, that's fine." Paige heard Emily taking in a breath over the phone before she quickly said, "I'm gonna go now, bye." Paige couldn't help the laugh that escaped her, sitting on the bed, her leg bouncing up and down anxiously. She stood up suddenly, realising she should probably have a quick shower.

Afterwards, she debated whether she should get dressed again or just change into sweats and a t-shirt. Figuring that it probably wouldn't matter much anyway, she chose the latter.

It felt like forever yet all too soon when she heard Emily knocking on her door. She hurried down the stairs to answer it, opening the door slightly breathless. Emily gave her a shy smile, standing on the porch with a small bag which she held in front of her with both hands. "Hi."

"Hi." Emily just stood there. "Are you coming in?" Paige asked, smirking slightly.

Emily laughed nervously. "Yeah, sorry." Paige closed the door once Emily walked past her, turning to see Emily looking unsure what to do, watching her place her bag on the floor before picking it up again. Thinking that they both needed to relax, she made her way to the kitchen. _We've got the whole night_ , she reminded herself. _No need to rush things._

"You want anything to eat? Drink?" she shouted over her shoulder. She heard Emily kicking off her shoes before following after her.

"Just water, please," Emily replied. Paige opened the fridge and took out two bottles of water, handing one to Emily. Paige paused a moment, before deciding to take a seat at the kitchen table. Emily sat opposite her, an awkward silence descending on them.

"So," Emily started, tapping her fingers on the table. "Where are your parents?"

"Scranton. My dad got asked to fill in at a business meeting in the morning, and they're just going to spend the day there tomorrow."

"Cool."

"Yeah." Paige took a sip of her water just for something to do. It was as if they had reverted back to the days after they had first kissed at Noel's party, Paige wracking her brain for something to say. She looked over at Emily, Emily quickly looking away before laughing under her breath, running a hand through her hair. Paige sighed, hoping the whole night wasn't going to be this awkward. "You want to watch a movie?"

Emily looked back at her, their eyes connecting. Paige saw something like resolve flash over Emily's face before she stood up and slowly made her way around the table towards her. She stopped in front of her, holding out her hand. Paige took it immediately, standing up so that she was extremely close to Emily, their noses almost touching. "Paige, I don't want to watch a movie," Emily said quietly but surely.

Paige swallowed. "Okay," she whispered. Emily leaned in, kissing her gently. And just like that, the uncomfortable tension was gone.

Paige wrapped her arms around Emily, beginning to walk them backwards in the direction of the stairs. They kissed as they moved down the hallway and began heading upstairs, only breaking contact when Emily stumbled and fell backwards. They laughed, Paige pulling Emily up by the hand and dragging her the rest of the way up, pulling her quickly towards her bedroom.

Paige kicked the door closed, her lips on Emily's once more, pushing her towards the bed. Paige landed on top of her as they crashed onto the mattress, their bodies connecting. Emily shuffled back on her elbows further up the bed, Paige crawling after her.

Her heart was pounding in her ears as Emily reached up to run her hand through her hair, cupping the back of her head and gripping her hair slightly. Emily's eyes were almost black with want as she pulled Paige towards her mouth again, their tongues brushing as Paige slipped her thigh in between Emily's. She trailed her fingers up and down Emily's arms slowly, feeling goosebumps rise up along her skin.

Paige ran her palm over Emily's chest, squeezing her breast gently through her shirt. Emily responded by biting down on her lip and running her other hand up the back of Paige's t-shirt. Paige pulled back when she felt Emily tugging at the material, realising Emily was signalling for her to take it off.

She moved herself into a kneeling position, grabbing the hem of her t-shirt and pulling it over her head, throwing it onto the floor. Heat pooled in her stomach at the way Emily's eyes were roaming over the newly exposed skin, her hands reaching out to run up her sides, making Paige shiver.

She settled back down on top of Emily, propping herself slightly to one side so that she could get better access to Emily's front. They kissed slowly and deeply as Paige's hand ran over Emily's breasts again, before moving to the buttons on her shirt, popping them free one by one. Emily's fingers were running gently up and down her spine, toying with her bra but not moving to undo the clasp just yet.

Paige felt the last button of Emily's shirt come undone; she broke apart from the kiss, looking down as she flipped the fabric of Emily's shirt to the side, revealing a black lacy bra that made Paige's brain short circuit. She dipped her head to kiss down Emily's neck as her hand smoothed over the skin of Emily's stomach.

Emily clutched at her back as her tongue darted out to taste her, nibbling along her collarbone. Her mouth moved lower, kissing down in between Emily's breasts only to be hindered by her bra. As amazing as Emily looked in it, Paige wanted it off.

She tried to reach around Emily's back under her shirt to undo the clasp but it wasn't working so well with Emily pressed into the mattress. Paige leaned back again, finding Emily's hands to pull her with her so that they were both kneeling on the bed. Paige's hand rested on Emily's lower back, pulling her flush against her body and nipping at her lips, moaning softly at the feeling of Emily's bare stomach coming into contact with her own.

Her hand slid up Emily's back, unclasping her bra much more gracefully than the last time. Her heart was in her throat as she watched the material become loose around Emily's breasts. She moved her hands up to Emily's neck to slide her shirt off her shoulders and down her arms, Emily helping her to remove it, throwing it off of the bed. Paige's hands moved back up, moving gently over the skin of Emily's shoulders, her index fingers hooking around the straps of Emily's bra. With bated breath, she pulled the garment down slowly, gasping when it fell away from Emily.

She was beautiful.

She couldn't help staring, soaking in every inch of her.

"Paige…" Emily crossed her arms over her chest, breaking Paige's line of sight. She looked up to see Emily blushing, looking away from her. Paige had clearly embarrassed her.

She rubbed her hands soothingly over Emily's upper arms, leaning forward to kiss her. "Sorry," she murmured. "You're just… perfect." She pulled back to look into Emily's eyes, urging Emily to believe she meant what she said. A small smile appeared on Emily's lips; she slowly lowered her arms and took Paige's hands in hers.

She lay back down, pulling Paige with her. Paige kissed her softly as her fingers ghosted up and down Emily's side, over her stomach and between Emily's breasts. Paige couldn't help but watch as she moved her hand over her breast. Although she had done this before, being able to see her hand as she touched her took her breath away. She felt wetness begin to pool between her legs, cupping Emily's breast gently before flicking a thumb over her nipple.

Paige looked up at Emily's face to see her reaction; she was watching Paige's hand touch her, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. Paige pinched her nipple lightly, eliciting a breathy moan from her.

She crashed their mouths back together, rubbing her hand all over Emily's chest, before beginning to kiss her way down. Emily squirmed beneath her as her lips moved closer and closer to their destination.

She kissed around the swell of her breast, finally brushing her lips over Emily's nipple, tentatively at first before taking it into her mouth and swirling her tongue around it as her thumb rubbed over the other. Emily's hands clutched the back of her neck tightly, holding Paige's head close to her, arching her back into her mouth.

"Oh, god," Emily moaned. Paige hummed into her skin, flicking her tongue quickly back and forth over Emily's nipple as she raked her nails over her other breast, rolling the nipple between her fingers. She became aware of the fact that Emily's legs were gradually spreading wider and wider beneath her. Paige softly stroked a hand down Emily's stomach, her fingers slipping just beneath the waistband of Emily's pants. Her hips bucked up towards her; Paige couldn't help but smile against Emily's chest as she began to kiss her way over to the other nipple, her fingers swiftly undoing the button and zip on Emily's jeans.

Paige became distracted when she felt Emily's hands tugging her bra down her arms; she had been too fascinated by Emily's body to realise that Emily had unfastened it at the back. Paige pulled back so that Emily could remove it completely.

Now it was her turn to blush.

Emily eyed her hungrily before flipping them over, pushing her thigh up into Paige's centre and kissing her heatedly, their breasts touching. Paige moaned into Emily's mouth, her fingers digging into the skin of her lower back, pulling Emily further into her.

Emily's hair tickled Paige's skin as she kissed down her neck, sucking on her pulse point as she groped her breast. Emily sat back on Paige's thigh, their eyes connecting as Emily rubbed her palms over Paige's chest. A seductive smirk formed on her lips as she pinched Paige's nipples, grinding herself into Paige's thigh.

"Fuck," Paige gasped.

Emily dipped her head, her mouth replacing her fingers. Paige made a strangled noise as the flat of Emily's tongue swiped over her nipple, before sucking lightly, her teeth grazing her skin. A jolt of arousal shot to Paige's core, the throbbing between her legs becoming almost painful. She ground herself into Emily's thigh in an attempt to relieve some of the building tension, her hands moving to the side of Emily's jeans and trying to tug them down.

She didn't manage to move them very far, the position they were lying in not cooperating with her, but she didn't hesitate in slipping her hands over Emily's underwear, squeezing her ass and pulling her down into her. Although she couldn't see them yet, she assumed that Emily's underwear matched her bra, feeling the lacy material under her fingertips. She suddenly wondered if Emily had bought the matching set especially for this occasion; especially for _her._ She became even more turned on at the thought.

Emily was doing indescribable things with her tongue across her chest, being soft and gentle one moment, and then surprising her the next by sucking hard on the swell of her breast, nipping at her skin. This was obviously what Emily had been referring to when she mentioned leaving a mark where no one could see.

Emily moved back up to her mouth, kissing her intensely. They both moaned when Paige slipped her hand down into the back of Emily's underwear, her fingers gripping the soft skin there.

Paige rolled them over so that she was on top once more, shuffling back and moving her hands to the top of Emily's jeans. Emily anticipated her next move, lifting her hips up off the bed so that Paige could pull them off, her eyes trailing down Emily's long legs as they came into view. She threw the jeans onto the mounting pile of clothes gathering on the floor, gulping when she looked back at Emily and her suspicions were proved right; Emily was wearing black lacy panties.

She was about to settle back down when Emily said, "No, you too." She tugged on Paige's sweats to clarify what she meant. Paige swallowed, suddenly feeling self-conscious with Emily's eyes on her. She hoped Emily didn't mind that she was only wearing simple girl boxers. She quickly pulled her sweats down, the material bunching and getting stuck around one of her ankles in her haste. She flushed, expecting Emily to laugh at her blunder. When she finally got them off and looked at Emily, there was a smile on her face, but her expression was so soft that it took Paige's breath away, her heart skipping a beat.

Paige crawled back towards her, both of them sighing as they came into contact again. Paige reveled in the feeling of Emily's smooth legs entangling with her own, admiring the contrasting colour of their skin as she looked down at their bodies pressing together. Paige ran her hand slowly up and down the side of Emily's thigh, Emily grasping the hair at the nape of her neck.

They kissed slowly as Paige slipped her hand up the side of Emily's underwear, her fingers tracing invisible patterns over the skin of her hip. Paige tried to stop the nerves building in her as she thought about what was going to happen next.

She pushed her thigh up, groaning as she felt Emily's wetness through her underwear against her skin. Emily gasped, pulling away from Paige's lips. Emily pushed down into her, her mouth half-opening at the sensation; Paige's mouth went dry at the sight. Emily brushed her lips across Paige's cheek, moving to kiss her ear. "Touch me," she whispered, nipping at Paige's ear lobe. Paige inhaled sharply, her eyes closing.

She kissed her way down Emily again, unable to resist playing with her nipples briefly, before trailing her lips down her stomach. She sat back as she slowly started to pull off the last of Emily's clothing, throwing her underwear to the bottom of the bed.

Paige's heart felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest at any moment, her brain trying to process the image of Emily completely naked in front of her. And Emily was ready - _very_ ready. And it was all for her.

Paige moved back up to Emily's mouth quickly, flicking her tongue against Emily's as her thumb smoothed over Emily's hip bone, before moving to stroke her fingers over the soft skin of Emily's lower abdomen.

Finally, Paige moved her hand down, Emily gasping against her mouth as she touched her for the first time. Paige sucked on her bottom lip as her fingers moved through Emily's wetness, exploring the familiar yet foreign terrain.

Paige didn't have a clue what she was doing - it was weird. It felt like it did when she touched herself, but it didn't at the same time. She wasn't sure if what she was doing felt good for Emily, so she pulled back from Emily's mouth so that she could watch her facial expressions.

Emily's eyes were closed tightly, a small frown on her forehead. "Is this alright?" Paige asked, her fingers making contact with a hard bump that could only be Emily's clit. Emily's hips bucked up into her hand, clenching her upper arm.

"Yes," she replied, sounding strained. She moaned. "Keep doing that."

Paige complied, rubbing two fingers over Emily's clit, making sure to vary her pace. She couldn't help but smile as Emily's hips rotated up into her hand when she stroked her incredibly slowly, obviously frustrated at her speed. Paige just wanted to make this last as long as possible; she was enjoying it too much.

She replaced her fingers with her thumb, moving her middle finger down to Emily's entrance. "Do you want me to…?" Paige asked against her lips, finishing her question by pushing slightly inside of Emily. She felt her nod quickly.

She pushed her finger inside of her, Emily sighing, Paige feeling Emily surrounding her; it was incredible. She momentarily lost the rhythm she had created on Emily's clit, having to break away from kissing Emily to have a look at what she was doing.

She slid her finger back out, only to push it back in, deeper this time, curling it upwards slightly. Emily groaned, Paige moaning at the sight of her finger buried inside of her. She slowly added a second finger, feeling Emily stretching for her. Emily's hips began to thrust against her hand, moving in time with her fingers. Paige rubbed her thumb over Emily's clit again, strong steady strokes that caused Emily to whimper. Feeling confident in her rhythm again, she moved back to kiss her, Emily's kisses becoming more and more uncoordinated as Paige pushed her closer to the edge.

She heard Emily begin to breathe hard through her nose. "Mmm, don't stop," she gasped, pulling away from Paige to look down at the hand between her legs. Paige's arm was beginning to ache, but she knew what she had to do. She increased the speed and pressure on Emily's clit, pumping her fingers harder and faster inside of her. Emily's head fell back with a moan as she started to tense, her hips thrusting wildly against Paige's hand.

Her hips began to jerk, falling out of sync with Paige's fingers, her body going rigid as a gasp caught in the back of her throat. She shuddered, Paige feeling Emily contract around her. A fresh coat of wetness covered her fingers as she slowed her pace on Emily's clit, bringing her down gently.

Emily's body relaxed with a sigh, a slow smile spreading over her face as she looked up at Paige, cupping her cheek and kissing her softly. "You're amazing," she whispered, Paige feeling a warmth that had nothing to do with her arousal spreading through her body.

She slowly withdrew her fingers from Emily, Emily twitching when she accidentally bumped her sensitive clit. "Sorry," Paige grinned, kissing Emily again, wiping her fingers on her own thigh.

They kissed slowly for a few moments while Emily got her breath back, before suddenly Paige was on her back, Emily straddling her legs, the sight nearly making Paige come there and then.

Emily's hair spilled over her shoulder as she leaned down, biting Paige's bottom lip and pulling. Paige groaned, her hands gripping into the flesh of Emily's ass as she kissed her breasts once more. She kissed down further, her tongue circling around her belly button before dipping in slightly. Paige was embarrassingly wet at this point, her hips jerking when she felt Emily's fingers on the inside of her thigh.

Her head spun when Emily finally pressed two fingers firmly onto her clit through her underwear. She cried out, bringing her arm up to her face and biting down on the skin as Emily rubbed her fingers in a circle.

Paige felt Emily hook her fingers into the sides of her underwear, yanking them off swiftly. Paige lowered her arm from her face so that she could see what Emily was doing. She spread Paige's legs as she settled between them. Paige might have felt self-conscious at the way Emily was staring at her, but she was too far gone to care. Emily bit her lip, looking into Paige's eyes as her fingers touched her again.

She stroked her fingers over Paige timidly before fixating her middle finger on Paige's clit. Paige had never thought that Emily touching her could feel _this_ good. She tensed up, clutching the bed sheets tightly, trying to keep control of her breathing.

"Is this okay?" Emily asked gently, rubbing her finger slowly round and round. Paige couldn't even speak, instead just choosing to nod her head quickly. Oh god. _Oh god._ Emily moved her hand up to run over her stomach soothingly. "Relax," she whispered, dipping her head to kiss her. "Don't think, just feel."

Paige slowly released the breath she had been holding, trying to take Emily's advice. She let her muscles relax, her legs falling to the side so that she was open even wider, her hand loosening its grip on the sheet slightly.

Emily moved her hand back down, this time adding another finger onto her clit, beginning to rub faster. Emily took a nipple into her mouth, her tongue brushing over it as she sucked lightly. Emily became so focused on her breast that her fingers slipped slightly below her clit; Paige reached down to bring Emily's hand back to where she needed it.

Emily looked up at her with glazed eyes, blushing slightly. "Sorry."

Paige ran her fingers through Emily's hair, bringing their mouths back together as Emily increased the pressure on her clit. Paige was getting close.

Which was why she couldn't believe it when Emily removed her hand completely. She was about to object when Emily looked into her eyes before looking away shyly. "What is it?" Paige probed, placing a finger on her chin and tilting her head back towards her.

Emily hesitated a moment, before kissing her and murmuring against her lips, "I want to taste you."

Paige froze. Emily pulled back to look at her, her eyes searching her face for permission. Paige swallowed hard; she had fantasized about Emily's mouth on her several times since the first time the thought had popped into her head. She wanted Emily to do that; desperately. "Okay."

Emily smiled, kissing her before trailing her lips down her neck, down in between her breasts, coming to a stop just above her thighs. Emily's hair tickled her as she sucked lightly at the skin on the inside of her hip, Paige squirming beneath her. She kissed down the crease of her thigh, before shuffling back on the bed slightly. Paige was intently watching Emily's every move, conscious of every beat of her heart as she waited in anticipation; Emily actually licked her lips as she looked at her, Paige moaning loudly as Emily lowered her head.

Emily placed the softest of kisses along the inside of her thigh. Paige's hips bucked as Emily's mouth got closer and closer to her centre. Emily wrapped her arms around the underside of Paige's thighs, her hands clamping her hips down onto the bed. A choked noise escaped Paige when Emily's lips brushed lightly over her clit, Emily moaning into her when she darted her tongue out to taste her.

Paige was gripping onto the bed sheet again for dear life, as Emily began to explore her with her mouth. She moved her lips against her slowly, her tongue swiping down her in broad strokes, Paige's vision going white behind her eyelids. Emily dipped her tongue slightly inside of her, before kissing upwards again. Emily focused the point of her tongue on Paige's clit, repeatedly flicking it quickly back and forth over the hard, swollen nub.

Paige's hand tangled in Emily's hair, doing her best not to grip it too tightly. She was trying to hold off her orgasm as long as possible, but she didn't think she could last much longer. That familiar heat was starting to creep through her body, her head beginning to get lighter and lighter. Emily's fingers came up to lace through Paige's that were clutching at the bed.

Emily sucked on her clit, her tongue still moving against her; Paige spasmed with a groan against Emily's mouth. The upper half of her body shot up off the bed as she came hard, Emily continuing to lick at her.

Paige fell back limply into the pillows, bliss coursing through her veins. With one final kiss to her centre that made Paige inhale a sharp breath through her teeth, Emily wiped the back of her hand across her mouth and kissed her way back up Paige's body to her mouth, Paige moaning when she could taste herself on Emily's lips.

Emily smiled softly, arching her eyebrow as if to say _'wow'._ Paige gave her a lazy grin in response, running her hand through Emily's hair. She looked a sweaty mess (Paige was sure she looked the same) but she had never been more beautiful. Emily hopped off the bed, throwing the spare pillows onto the floor and trying to pull down the bedcovers, which was easier said than done with Paige still lying on top of them. Her body was still shaky, only just managing to lift herself up so that Emily could slide the covers out from underneath her before she crashed back down onto the mattress. She was well and utterly spent.

Emily brought the covers up around her, going to turn off the light before slipping in beside her, both of them giggling as their arms went around each other, their legs intertwining. Emily kissed her forehead, then her nose, then her lips.

Paige could feel sleep pulling at her; she tucked her head into Emily's neck, her hand smoothing over Emily's back, sighing contentedly. As she was caught between that stage of being awake and dreaming, she imagined that she heard _I love you_ being whispered into her ear. She drifted off to sleep with a small smile on her lips.


	13. Chapter 13

**_Emily_ **

She could feel Paige's breath slow and steady against her neck; they had barely moved at all throughout the night. _Wow, we must have been really exhausted._

She propped herself up on her elbow, looking over at the alarm clock sitting on the bedside table. It was just before 9am. She smiled, glad that Paige's dad's meeting probably hadn't even started yet. She looked down at Paige, admiring the way the winter sunlight illuminated her face as it poured through a gap in the curtains; it made the breath catch in Emily's throat.

She ran the pads of her fingers down Paige's arm from her shoulder to her elbow and back again, leaning forward to run the tip of her nose along her forehead, a kiss landing on her eyebrow. Paige stirred slightly in her sleep, her lips twitching.

Emily thought about the night before, unable to comprehend how amazing it had been. It had been everything she had imagined and more. She'd surprised herself with some of things she had said; she flushed, vividly remembering stating that she wanted to taste Paige. She couldn't imagine being that open with anyone else. Paige hadn't seemed to mind Emily's forwardness though, the look on her face making the embarrassment of Emily saying those words worth it. And the act itself, of course; Emily blushed again.

Emily brought her hand up to run her thumb over the small scar on Paige's forehead, more noticeable than usual in this light. Her mind suddenly flashed back to when it had happened; they had been thirteen years old, swimming at the local pool. Paige had been shouting to her in the water, ready to jump off the springboard that had been fitted at the side of the pool. Emily didn't know how it had happened, but one minute Paige had been smiling at her, the next she had slipped and hit her head off the edge of the board. Emily had been so scared when she saw the blood running down Paige's face; the lifeguard had immediately phoned an ambulance, guiding Paige to sit on a bench at the side of the pool, pressing gauze to her head to slow the bleeding.

Emily had held Paige's hand the entire time they waited for the paramedics to arrive, refusing to let go when they took Paige to the ambulance. Emily knew how much Paige hated hospitals ever since her grandpa had passed away in one and knew she wouldn't want to be alone. The woman had eventually given in and allowed Emily to come with them; she clearly remembered Paige giving her a watery smile and holding her hand just that bit tighter.

Luckily the cut had looked worse than it was; Paige had only needed a couple of stitches before her parents could take her home, dropping Emily off at her own house on the way and thanking her for staying with Paige.

Emily removed her thumb, placing a kiss to the scar. Paige's forehead wrinkled. "What're you doing?" she mumbled, her eyes still closed but a smile appearing on her face.

Emily laughed lightly into her hair. "Waiting for you to wake up." She lay her head back down onto the pillow, Paige slowly opening her eyes.

Emily loved Paige's eyes; she could look into them for a whole day and never get bored. They were always so expressive and filled with such warmth. She leaned in, cupping Paige's cheek as she kissed her softly. She pulled back, smiling. "Morning."

"Morning," Paige grinned, running her hand gently up the back of Emily's bare thigh. Emily enjoyed the feeling of their warm skin pressing together under the covers; this had to be heaven. She couldn't help but laugh. "What's so funny?" Paige asked, capturing her lips again.

"Nothing," Emily smiled. After a moment, she added, "I can't believe you actually booty called me last night."

Paige's jaw dropped in faux shock. "I did not!"

"You totally did!"

They both laughed, Paige running her hand up Emily's back. "Okay, maybe," she admitted. "Why? Are you not happy I did?"

Emily curled her hand up into Paige's hair, resting their foreheads together. "I've never been happier," she assured her.

Paige's palm spread out across Emily's back, pulling her towards her, kissing her slowly. What started out soft and lazy turned heated pretty quickly, Emily running her hand over Paige's backside as Paige's hand moved to her front, cupping a breast and thumbing her nipple.

Emily drew her thigh up to Paige's hip, pushing Paige onto her back as she rolled on top, not breaking their kiss. She felt the bedcovers slipping down to the middle of her back as she braced herself with one hand and snaked the other down in between Paige's legs, Paige sighing against her mouth at the contact. Emily dipped her fingers down to gather wetness to smear over Paige's clit, gasping when Paige's hand made contact with her own centre.

Emily looked down at Paige as she touched her, knowing what she was doing felt good when her eyes flickered closed and she bit her lip. It took every ounce of her concentration not to become too distracted by what Paige was doing with her own fingers.

She rolled her hips into Paige with a groan, rubbing her clit faster. Paige matched her pace, gripping Emily's hip tightly as her other hand worked against her. Emily could feel her stomach beginning to tighten; she was breathing shakily against Paige's face, trying to hold off her orgasm so they could come together.

Paige was struggling to keep her eyes open; she was starting to breathe heavily through her nose. Emily increased her speed and pressure further as she ground down into Paige's hand.

Her body tensed and her hips jerked as she came, doing her best to keep her fingers moving against Paige's clit as she rode out her orgasm, forcing her eyes open to watch Paige shudder beneath her.

She removed her hand, flopping down on top of Paige and placing a kiss into her neck, Paige removing her hand out from in between their bodies to pull the bedcovers back over them, wrapping her arms around Emily. She felt Paige placing a kiss into her hair.

Emily had to reel in the three words that wanted to escape her mouth. She hadn't been able to stop them last night when Paige had fallen asleep, but she certainly couldn't let them out now; Paige would definitely hear her and she couldn't predict how she would react.

When she could manage it, she shifted off Paige so that she was only half-lying on top of her, turning her head up to kiss Paige before lying her head on her chest. Her eyes closed at the sound of Paige's steady heartbeat against her ear, Paige stroking her thigh that was still lying across her body.

Emily must have fallen back asleep, because the next she knew Paige was cursing under her breath, Emily opening her eyes quickly to see Paige on her phone. Emily lifted her head, her cheek peeling off of Paige's skin. She was concerned that something had happened until she heard the faint sound of _Angry Birds_ coming from the phone _._ "Oh my god," Emily snorted. "You are _not_ playing that stupid game right now."

Paige laughed, her eyes flitting to her before back to the screen. "What? I couldn't exactly go anywhere, you trapped me." Paige emphasised her point by trying to shift her left arm out from under her, her hips caught under Emily's leg. "I didn't want to wake you; you looked so peaceful."

Emily's chest swelled as she smiled, pressing a kiss to Paige's lips. "You're a giant dork, you know that?"

"You love it," Paige fired back quickly, visibly freezing as she realised what she had said.

Emily didn't let the situation become awkward, leaning in again to kiss Paige, murmuring, "You're right, I do." She bumped her nose affectionately against Paige's before sitting up, her gaze travelling to the mess of clothes all over the floor. She could spot Paige's t-shirt and boxers, her own bra and jeans. She leaned over Paige's side of the bed, spotting her shirt. "Paige?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you know where my underwear is?" she asked shyly.

"Uh…" She looked around the room as if they were going to magically appear in her line of vision, "Nope, how about mine?"

Emily clutched the sheet around her as she swung her legs out of the bed, hooking Paige's boxers with her toes and flicking them towards her. She caught them, throwing them to Paige.

Paige stood up, obviously having no qualms about being naked around her, which Emily realised was perfectly rational after what they had done last night and this morning. Emily couldn't help but stare as Paige bent over to slide the boxers up her legs, before straightening and catching Emily staring. Paige smirked, raising an eyebrow. Emily smiled bashfully before taking a breath and standing up to help Paige look for her missing underwear.

After five minutes, Paige finally found them crammed down the side of the mattress at the bottom of the bed. "Here," she said, throwing them at Emily. She slipped them on quickly, flushing at the way Paige was looking at her. "You know, I never told you this last night, but you look really good in those."

Emily smiled. "Well, I'm glad you think so because they were for you." She had bought the panties and matching bra a few weeks back; it had been a spur of the moment thing. She had been walking past a store and seen them advertised in the window, deciding to buy them for when she finally went all the way with Paige. And looking at Paige's roaming eyes, she was thankful she had.

Emily walked over to Paige to kiss her, both of them breaking apart when Paige's stomach growled. "Breakfast?"  Emily nodded, turning to go change into something more comfortable rather than her clothes from last night before she realised her bag was still sitting downstairs. Paige had already thrown her clothes back on and was about to leave the room.

"Paige? Can you get my bag from downstairs please?" she asked. "I don't feel like wearing jeans right now."

Paige bounced on the spot quickly. "Em, I really need to pee. You can just grab something out of my dresser for now if you want?"

"Okay," Emily said shyly, tucking her hair behind her ear as she went in search for something to wear. She pulled on a pair of sweats and a hoodie, only realising it was Paige's old favourite faded Rosewood Sharks hoodie after she was already wearing it. Paige used to wear it all the time; she pulled the sleeves down over her hands and hugged her arms to her chest, reveling in being surrounded by Paige.

She padded out into the hall, waiting to use the bathroom after Paige. After a minute, Paige opened the door, her face lighting up when she saw her. "Is this okay?" Emily asked to double check that Paige didn't mind her wearing the hoodie.

"Of course," she smiled, running her hands down Emily's arms and kissing her. "I'll get you downstairs."

Emily quickly used the bathroom before making her way to join Paige in the kitchen where she could already smell the scent of toast being made. She dug her phone out of her bag in the hall, seeing she had two texts from Hanna and a missed call from her mom.

She opened Hanna's messages. The first had been sent last night. _Ok random question but what was the name of that kid that flashed us in 4th grade? I'm telling Caleb about it and I can't remember!_

She shook her head in amusement as she looked at the second message, seeing it had been sent a few hours later. _Thanks for replying, I'm going to have to go to sleep now with this nagging at me. Are you with your mystery hottie? If you are I'll let you off._

Emily smiled before she felt a pang of guilt reminding her that she was lying to Paige. She tried to convince herself that she was doing the right thing; it was pointless to worry Paige about it when Hanna didn't even know it was her she was seeing.

"Em?" Paige shouted from the kitchen, making Emily jump.

"Just coming," she shouted, walking towards the kitchen and pushing thoughts of Hanna to the back of her mind. "My mom called," she told Paige, her brow furrowing as she sat down at the table. Emily called her back, listening to the phone ring out as Paige placed a plate of toast and glass of orange juice in front of her. Emily smiled up at her in thanks.

"Hey, Mom. What is it?"

"Hey, honey. Just wanted to let you know I want you home for one. Your dad's taking us out for lunch; it'll probably be the last quality time we'll have before he has to leave for Texas."

Emily instantly felt disappointed that she wouldn't be able to spend the day with Paige but then realised that she also wanted to spend time with her dad before he left; she didn't know when she would next see him. "Okay, I'll be home for then." They said their goodbyes, Emily looking across at Paige as she sat opposite her. "I've to be home for one to go to lunch with my parents," she explained.

Paige nodded, sighing. "I wish you could stay all day but it's probably better this way; wouldn't want my parents coming home early." Emily's stomach dropped at her words.

"Paige, you do know that it's perfectly reasonable for me to be here in your house, right? I'm one of your best friends." Paige looked up from her plate, catching on to her hurt tone. "Your parents wouldn't suspect a thing." It hadn't escaped Emily's notice that this was the first time she had been in Paige's house ever since they had kissed.

Paige seemed to process Emily's words, before saying, "I know, it's just…" She sighed again. "I'm sorry." Paige held her hand out towards her across the table. Emily just looked sadly at it, disappointed that Paige was still surrounded by this level of paranoia.

She still hadn't gotten around to talking to Paige about her being gay or about her parents and the pressure they put on her. She could never find the right time, not wanting to upset Paige when they were having a good time, and not wanting to upset Paige further when she was already feeling down, like that day after Paige's parents had said something homophobic in front her. She feared though that if she didn't say something, Paige would happily live in the land of denial forever.

She had thought that maybe now they had slept together, Paige might be more willing to accept that this wasn't something that she could just ignore if they only kept it to themselves; whether it was a secret or not, she was essentially Paige's girlfriend. She considered telling Paige that fact before realising it would probably just ruin their morning.

Emily finally took Paige's hand, deciding not to bring it up today but vowing to do it soon. She offered her a quick but not entirely genuine smile before taking a bite of her toast.

The rest of the morning was spent with them cuddling on the couch watching TV before Emily had to go for a shower, hating that she had to decline Paige's offer to join her. She knew that she would never make lunch on time otherwise.

Once she had showered and dressed, she picked up her clothes that were still on Paige's bedroom floor, throwing them into her bag. She placed the sweats and hoodie onto Paige's bed, running a finger over the fading logo fondly.

"You should keep it." Emily spun around to see Paige standing at the door, nodding at the hoodie on the bed.

"But this is your favourite hoodie," Emily said incredulously.

"I know," she nodded, smiling.

"But…" Emily smiled through her confusion. "Why?"

Paige shrugged, looking at the floor shyly. "I just want you to have it."

Butterflies fluttered in Emily's stomach; was this Paige's way of acknowledging their relationship? Emily walked over to Paige, her hands going around her neck, her thumbs stroking Paige's cheeks. "Well, I'll keep it safe for you; how about that?"

Paige kissed her slowly, her hands sliding up her forearms to rest on her wrists. "Deal," Paige smiled.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

They were on the bus on their way to the meet in Philly. Paige was trying to stay calm and not let the pressure of the scouts being there get to her, but that didn't stop her from wringing her hands in her lap, shifting uncomfortably every two seconds.

Suddenly a jacket was being thrown over her legs, Emily's hand slipping under it to smooth over her thigh. "Stop stressing; you'll be great."

Paige made herself relax back into the seat, closing her eyes and focusing on Emily's thumb stroking back and forth over the fabric of her pants. "How aren't you nervous?" she asked.

"I am," Emily stated. "I'm just trying not to think about it until we get there."

Paige couldn't help but notice that Emily had been relatively quiet the majority of the day. Paige turned her head, seeing her staring blankly out of the window. Paige knew she was feeling down about her dad leaving for Texas yesterday. She snaked her hand under the jacket to cover Emily's hand on her thigh, silently letting Emily know she was there for her.

Emily looked around at her, giving her a small smile, Paige wishing she could wrap an arm around her and hold her close in comfort.

* * *

Paige pulled her goggles up, seeing they had been beaten by what could only have been milliseconds, placing them second overall in the meet. She was disappointed, but at least Coach assured her that she had performed well. Even though it would have been great if they had won, the main thing was that she hadn't let herself down in front of the scouts.

Coach had told her that two of them had come to the meet; one from Pennsylvania State and the other from Pittsburgh, both of which had good swimming programmes. They even came up to her after the meet to shake her hand, giving her their cards, both saying that they hoped she would consider applying there.

Paige found Emily, learning that the scouts had also spoken to her. They grinned, excited that colleges were actually showing interest in them.

They chatted animatedly all the way back onto the bus, discussing the different programmes and considering where they would want to go. Paige wasn't sure how it was going to work; she thought it was unlikely that one college would offer two students from the same high school a scholarship. Paige figured that her parents probably _could_ afford to send her to college even without a scholarship -they were pretty well off- but that had never really been discussed. Being offered a scholarship meant that she was the best of the best and therefore that was the number one option in her dad's eyes. She would love to go to the same college as Emily, but she wasn't sure that was a possibility. At the very least, she hoped that wherever they went they wouldn't be too far from each other.

The conversation died down, the events of the day taking their toll. The sky started to darken as the bus drove on, Paige's eyes beginning to feel heavy. She looked to her side, seeing Emily's head had dropped onto her chest and she was swaying forward out of her seat. Paige smiled, tugging her so that her head fell onto her shoulder so that she didn't hurt her neck or injure herself by hitting her head against the window of the bus.

They may have been at the back of the bus, surrounded by the creeping darkness and out of sight of anyone, but Paige felt a small spike of pride at the gesture. She'd had a similar feeling on Saturday when her parents had come home and she had willingly told them that Emily had been over. To anyone else, it might have seemed like a petty thing to be proud of but to Paige it felt like a big deal.

She rested her cheek on the top of Emily's head, closing her eyes and smiling.

* * *

The next few weeks passed quickly, midterms becoming her main priority. She couldn't wait to finish up for Christmas break, her brain feeling like it was going to explode with all the information it was trying to retain.

The day following their last exam and therefore last day of school for the term, they all decided to go to the local Christmas movie marathon to get into the holiday spirit. Paige was looking forward to relaxing with her friends, and more specifically, Emily.

They were in need of some quality time together, having placed a self-imposed ban on themselves to cut down the amount of time they were spending with each other; they had to do well on their exams and couldn't become distracted. It was imperative they got the best grades they could.

Although they would be in the company of others, it was going to be nice just to be close to Emily for the day. Paige had missed her.

They all met outside the movie theatre, Paige noticing Emily's smile growing bigger when she saw her; she was amazed that Emily could still make her heart race just from that simple action. The girls (accompanied by Caleb, who didn't actually seem like he wanted to be at a Christmas movie marathon but was enduring it for Hanna's sake) made their way inside, buying plenty of food and drinks to last them hours.

They entered the cinema, seeing that it was surprisingly busy. For some reason when Paige went to the movies it was always dead. They located a row with enough seats for all of them, Paige hesitating when they had formed a line behind her to shuffle in. Paige glanced over her shoulder, seeing that Emily wasn't behind her. Hanna was, followed by Caleb, followed by Aria, and _then_ Emily, with Spencer bringing up the end.

Paige took a seat, unable to sit beside Emily without it looking weird. She sighed, massaging her forehead in frustration. She tried to look over at Emily to see her reaction to this situation, but if it wasn't Hanna's head in the way, it was Caleb's.

She finally caught sight of Emily as she stood up briefly to remove her jacket; she didn't even shoot her a glance, setting off warning bells in Paige's head. Was Emily annoyed with her? She faced the front of the room as the first movie started to play, trying to figure out why Emily would think this was her fault.

About halfway through the film, Paige saw Emily getting up out of the corner of her eye; she assumed she was going to the bathroom. After a moment, Paige got up to go after her, Caleb slipping money into her hand on her way past. "Can you grab me more Skittles? I'm out," he said, shaking the empty bag for emphasis.

Paige shook her head in amusement that he had eaten the large bag so fast. _Boys._

She made her way to the bathroom, which was thankfully almost empty, seeing only one stall in use. "Em?" she asked hesitantly, unsure if it was her in there. "Emily?"

Just as she was about to leave again to look for her elsewhere, she finally heard a quiet, "What?" Okay, something was definitely up.

"Are you mad at me?" Paige asked through the door, confused. When she was met with another silence, she sighed, knocking on the cubicle. "Open up." Paige eventually heard the lock sliding in the door, pushing it open slightly to see Emily looking sad and angry. "This isn't my fault, Emily. What did you expect me to do? Refuse to sit down until you were beside me?"

Emily huffed, crossing her arms and looking at her feet. "Yeah, okay, that would have looked weird, but if our friends knew about us this wouldn't have happened in the first place."

"Emily, you know I can't," Paige said awkwardly.

"We can just start small," Emily suggested, perking up slightly. "We could even just tell one of them for now so that it's-"

"I said I can't," Paige snapped, wishing that Emily would just drop the subject.

Emily took her hand. "Paige, I know you're scared but would you at least think about it? As much as I love sneaking around with you, when I can't even sit beside my girlfriend at the movies I think we have a problem." Paige balked at the word 'girlfriend'; hearing it was a shock to her system. Emily pulled her hand back, shaking her head with a sigh and looking defeated. "Forget it." She pushed past Paige, heading back to the foyer.

"Emily, wait," Paige said weakly, not having a clue what she would say if Emily did indeed stop to listen. But she didn't; Paige watched hopelessly as the door thudded closed, leaving her all alone in the bathroom and feeling like shit for disappointing Emily.

She ran a hand over her face; this wasn't how today was supposed to go.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

She slumped back into her seat between Spencer and Aria, trying not to let her frustration seep out into the air around her. She attempted to focus all her attention on the screen in front of her, but the effort was short-lived, her mind back to thinking about Paige when she shuffled past her to get back to her seat, only to quickly retreat again after Caleb whispered loudly, "Hey, where's my Skittles?"

Emily was at a loss about what to do. In the weeks they had been together, Paige hadn't made much further progress since admitting she had feelings for her. Emily was starting to worry that she had severely underestimated how hard it would be to get Paige to even consider coming out of the closet. The level of denial going on in her head had to be extremely high; Paige's face when she had said 'girlfriend' out loud; it was as if Paige had never even thought of the word before. And she had reacted that way even though it had only been the two of them in the room, showing Emily that Paige was nowhere near the stage of telling anyone else about them, not even the girls. Not knowing how much longer they would have to operate in complete secrecy stressed her out. She was ready to move forward in her life; she was ready to tell the world who she really was now that she was secure in herself.

She just had no idea where that would leave her and Paige.

* * *

"So, what you're saying is she's Narnia gay?" Hanna said simply.

It was Sunday afternoon and Hanna had initially swung by to drop off the math books she had borrowed weeks ago but had ended up staying for lunch after her mom had offered.

They were now lying top-to-tail on Emily's bed, staring at the ceiling. Emily hadn't meant to, but before she knew it she had spouted out all her worries over her relationship with Paige, needing to talk to _someone_ about it. They had barely spoken since the movie marathon and Emily didn't know how to fix it.

"What?" Emily snorted, wondering if she had actually heard Hanna just use the term 'Narnia gay'.

"You know, so far in the closet that she's in Narnia?"

Emily couldn't help but laugh; where did Hanna get this stuff from? "I guess you could say that." Emily groaned, becoming serious again. "Hanna, what am I supposed to do?"

Hanna sat up with a sigh. "Honestly Em, maybe you should just call it off and find someone who isn't afraid to be with you, if that's what you're ready for."

Emily only had to consider the words for a second before her heart was already breaking just at the thought of ending things with Paige. Emily wondered if Hanna would be so quick to suggest that idea if she knew it was Paige she was seeing. "I can't do that."

"You might have to," she stated simply. "Maybe that way she'll realise what she's losing out on and come out."

"That sounds a bit like blackmail, Hanna," she sighed, exasperated. "I don't want to force her out just to be with me; if she's not ready, she's not ready. There's not much I can do." Emily sat up slowly. "But… I love her; I really do." Hanna seemed taken aback at her words.

"Wow, Em," she said, putting a hand on her ankle. "I had no idea how serious you were about this girl. Things are moving pretty fast, huh?" Emily stared hard at a spot on the bed, trying not to let the tears in her eyes spill over, wishing that she could just tell Hanna it wasn't just some girl; this was _Paige_. "Hey, have you told her that? That you love her?"

"Only when she was asleep," Emily muttered sadly. "I don't want to scare her off completely."

They sat in silence for a moment; Emily could practically hear the cogs turning in Hanna's head. "So, let me get this right; she's told you that she has feelings for you and you've slept together several times, but she still doesn't know she's gay?"

Emily ran a hand through her hair, trying to be patient with Hanna. "Oh, I'm sure she knows. Maybe it's deep, deep down, but she knows. She's nowhere near to accepting it though."

"But how is it possible for her to be in a relationship with you and not accept it?" Hanna's forehead wrinkled.

"It just is," Emily borderline snapped, before feeling guilty because it did sound a bit silly. Maybe it was only something you could truly understand if you had been through it yourself.

"Have you talked to her about it?"

"I've tried, but every time I mention about telling other people she gets upset and angry and we end up not discussing anything." She sighed. "I want her to come to terms with it for me and for us, but most importantly, for _her_. It's not healthy to be living in that level of denial. I think I used to only be in like half that amount and it was bad enough. It's fine that she's not ready to come out just yet; yeah, it's frustrating at times, but I can deal. If only she would give me _some_ indication that it'll happen in the future… give me some reassurance that we won't be hiding forever. Hiding forever is definitely the easier option where she's concerned; I'm just worried that she thinks that's a _viable_ option." Emily felt like she would wait forever for Paige if she had to, but she hoped that wouldn't be the case.

"Do you know why it's such a big deal to her?" Hanna asked. "I mean, there must be a reason why she's so scared."

Emily couldn't exactly explain that her dad was a deacon at the church and that he put a ridiculous amount of pressure on her to be the perfect child without giving Paige away, so all she could do was shrug her shoulders.

Hanna flopped back down onto the bed. "She'll come around eventually," she said with such surety that Emily willed the words to be true. "She has to. Right?"

"Right," Emily echoed, desperately believing that things _would_ work out between them.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

She walked up to Emily's house, nervously toying with the wrapped box in her jacket pocket. She hoped that whatever _this_ was between them (she wasn't sure whether to call it a fight or not) would be resolved before she had to leave to go visit her grandparents in North Carolina for Christmas.

She knocked the door, waiting with bated breath; she hoped that Emily was in.

Just as she turned to leave with a heavy heart, the door opened. She looked around, seeing Emily standing there. The knot that had been in her stomach since the movie marathon loosened as Emily offered her a smile, looking glad to see her. "Hey."

"Hi," she smiled, walking back to the door. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," Emily said, stepping back to let her move past her. Paige glanced around the quiet room.

"Is your mom out?"

Emily nodded. "She's out for the day with a friend. She's been keeping herself busy so she's not focusing on the fact my dad's not here."

"That's good," Paige said, standing awkwardly with her hands still in her jacket pockets.

Unable to stay away from her any longer, Paige finally moved towards Emily, wrapping her arms around her back, hugging her tightly. Emily mirrored her actions, both of them standing in the hallway just holding each other. "I'm sorry about the other day," Paige mumbled into Emily's hair.

"Me too," Emily replied, her words muffled against Paige's shoulder. "It was just one of those things; I shouldn't have put the blame on you."

Paige smoothed her hands down Emily's back, wanting to tell her that she was sorry for the frustration she'd caused and that she would think about telling their friends, but at the same time she couldn't _actually_ imagine telling them; she didn't want to feel like she was lying to Emily.

Emily moved her lips over to hers, Paige feeling like she could finally breathe again as she kissed her. Emily pulled back, running her fingers over the collar of her leather jacket. Emily cleared her throat, speaking her next words slowly. "Paige, I'm your girlfriend. Yes or no?" Emily's hands cupped around her neck so that she couldn't pull away, waiting patiently for her answer. "Remember it's just me here, no one else," she said gently in encouragement.

"Yes," Paige whispered, finally admitting out loud that she was in a relationship with Emily. She had been throwing the word around her head the past few days, coming to the realisation that that's what Emily was to her now; her girlfriend.

Emily kissed her again, soft and slowly before looking like she was going to ask another question. "You're gay. Yes or no?" Paige suppressed the urge to flinch at the word. She closed her eyes, desperately wanting to pull away but also desperately wanting to be honest with Emily. And herself.

 _Yes_ , she finally admitted. _I'm gay._ She mulled the words over in her head; they sounded foreign and familiar all at once. And scary. And permanent.

She opened her mouth to speak but her throat closed up. A few more seconds of struggling and she answered the only way she could. She pressed her lips against Emily's.

Emily took a moment to respond before opening her mouth, allowing Paige's tongue entry as she unzipped her jacket, her cool hands smoothing over Paige's stomach. Paige didn't know how Emily could ignite her skin on fire in 0.2 seconds, but she managed it time and time again.

Emily tugged on Paige's ponytail, her head angled to the side as Emily began kissing frantically down her neck, Paige slipping her hands inside the back of Emily's jeans. "Upstairs," Emily gasped, pulling away and hurrying towards her bedroom.

Paige pulled her jacket off as she followed, the heat getting too much for her. She hung it on the end of Emily's bed, not failing to notice the hoodie she had given to Emily laying across the railing. She smiled, figuring Emily must have worn it to bed the night before. She kicked off her shoes before lying down beside Emily, their heated kissing resuming instantly. Paige rolled them over so that she was straddling Emily's legs, her hands pulling Emily's arms up above her head and pinning her wrists.

Paige teased Emily's lips with her own as she reached a hand down to smooth over Emily's stomach, pushing her t-shirt up quickly, not stopping when she reached her bra, her fingers slipping under the material and pushing it upwards. The action seemed to take Emily by surprise, her gasp ending in a moan as Paige rubbed a palm over her nipples, before kissing her way down and taking one into her mouth, sucking hard.

Emily's whole back arched into her as she cried out, Paige's hand reaching down to cup her through her jeans, pressing the heel of her hand into Emily's clit. "Fuck, Paige," Emily inhaled sharply, Paige smiling against her breast; she liked making Emily swear.

She released Emily's wrists that she still had pinned above her head, kissing down her stomach until she reached her jeans. She quickly unbuttoned them, shuffling back and pulling them off along with Emily's underwear. Paige ran her hands over Emily's thighs as she leaned down to place soft kisses on her lower abdomen, her fingers tickling over Emily's hips.

Weirdly, she didn't even feel nervous at what was about to happen; she was excited. _Overly excited_ , she thought as her stomach flipped and wetness began to form between her legs. She felt Emily moving, propping herself up onto her elbows to look down at Paige.

Paige looked at Emily, her t-shirt slipping back down slightly over her bunched up bra, running a hand through her hair as she bit her lip. _God, you are so hot._

She smirked as she began to kiss lower, looking forward to Emily finding out how good this felt. Emily had done this to her twice now and she felt it was time to return the favour. She could hear Emily's deep and shallow breathing as she shuffled back on the bed and got into a more comfortable position. Emily's legs widened at the slight touch of Paige's fingers on the inside of her knee, opening herself up to her.

Paige stroked her thumb over Emily's clit as she kissed up the soft inside of her thigh, Emily's hips jerking upwards. She nipped Emily's skin before soothing it over with her tongue, slowly moving closer and closer to Emily's centre, the smell of her intoxicating.

She finally removed her thumb, replacing it with her mouth, groaning as she flicked her tongue out to taste her; it was indescribable. She tasted like nothing Paige had ever experienced, deciding she could only refer to it as _Emily_. She had to reach an arm up to lay across Emily's stomach, pushing her hips back down onto the mattress from where they had risen, breathy moans meeting her ears as she explored Emily with her tongue.

She opened her mouth wide, taking in as much of Emily as she could, the hand that wasn't holding Emily down gripping the back of her thigh, pulling her as close to her mouth as possible. She could still feel Emily's eyes on her; she pulled back slightly, making a show of sticking her tongue out and running it lightly over Emily's clit. She smirked as she heard a loud moan above her. She was beginning to learn that Emily really loved watching what she did to her. That wasn't to say that Paige didn't like to see what Emily did to her too, but Emily especially seemed to get turned on by it.

Paige brought her lips around her clit, sucking lightly. The sensation was obviously too much for Emily; she fell back onto the bed with a strange high pitched noise, squirming under Paige, her breath getting caught in the back of her throat.

"Paige," she pleaded, cupping the back of her head. Not wanting to tease Emily to the point of frustration, Paige focused her tongue on Emily's sensitive spot, bringing her hand up from the back of Emily's thigh to slip a finger inside of her, adding a second not long after.

Paige soon felt Emily's legs starting to shake at the side of her head. She increased the speed of her tongue and her fingers, moaning against Emily to let her know that she was enjoying this as much as Emily was. Emily stilled; Paige sucked on her clit, one final brush of her tongue causing Emily to gasp and tremble beneath her, clenching around Paige's fingers.

She removed her mouth when she felt Emily tugging at her hair, Emily not even giving her time to wipe her mouth before she was kissing her. Their legs tangled together, Paige leaning on her elbow as she looked down at Emily, smiling. "So, that felt good, huh?"

Emily grinned, wiping her thumb across Paige's chin. "You could say that." Paige kissed her again, happy that Emily had enjoyed it. "How do you still have all your clothes on?" Emily mused, pulling at her t-shirt. Paige shrugged, realising that she hadn't really given Emily much opportunity to take anything off of her.

She glanced at the clock on Emily's bedside table, sighing. "I should really get back. I told my dad I wouldn't be long. I was just meant to pop 'round with your Christmas present… which I've just realised I haven't even given you," she laughed, getting up to get the box from her jacket pocket, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the wetness between her legs. Emily slipped her underwear back on and pulled her bra back down before padding over to her dresser, pulling a small box from inside the top drawer.

They both sat back on the bed, Paige feeling nervous all of a sudden, hoping that Emily liked what she had bought her. "So, want to just open them now?" she asked. Christmas was still a few days away but she wanted to see Emily's face.

"Okay," Emily said, tucking her hair behind her ear as they swapped boxes. "You first." She nodded at the box in Paige's hands.

Paige began to unwrap it, her fingers fumbling slightly. She removed the paper to find a small black velvet box which could only indicate jewellery of some kind. She opened it to find a silver ring with a thickish band, a repeating pattern etched onto to metal.

"Do you like it?" Emily asked unsurely. "I remember you saying you wanted a new thumb ring a while back and-" Paige cut her off with a kiss, smiling.

"I love it, thank you." She lifted the ring from the box, slipping it onto her right thumb. It was the perfect fit. Paige looked up at Emily, seeing her looking genuinely excited that she liked it. "Your turn," she said, feeling anxious again.

Emily shifted her attention from Paige's hand to the box, unwrapping it quickly. Paige held her breath as she opened it, watching Emily's face carefully, trying to gauge her reaction.

Emily lifted the simple silver bracelet from the box, turning it over in her fingers, stopping when she must have spotted the engraved letters on the inside band. Paige had debated it over in her head before just deciding to ask the person at the store to engrave _E &P _on it. Seeing Emily's face now, she was pleased she had.

"Paige, it's beautiful," she said, looking up at her, tears brimming in her eyes; but they were happy tears.

Paige sighed, no longer feeling stressed about anything at that moment in time. She watched as Emily put on the bracelet, helping her when she struggled with the clasp. They both smiled into a kiss, Paige pulling back regretfully. "I really should go," she said, stroking Emily's arm. She was about to stand when Emily grabbed her wrist.

"But," she started, blushing. "You didn't even get to… come."

"Oh, don't worry about it," Paige smiled, kissing her again and moving off of the bed. She was sure she could finish herself off quickly as soon as she got home before she had to leave.

"I'll be quick?" Emily said, smirking and raising her eyebrows. "You're going to be away for a week…"

Paige groaned. "Emily… you're making this really hard to resist." Emily kneeled on the bed, reaching out to tug at Paige's belt loops to bring her back to her, her fingers undoing her jeans swiftly. "Fine," she huffed, pretending it was a chore to have Emily touch her, moaning when Emily's hand slipped into her underwear.

* * *

She was sitting in the backseat of the car as her dad drove them to her grandparents. She couldn't stop fiddling with the ring on her thumb, smiling subtly every time she looked at it.

She had definitely come away from Emily's house with much more than she had bargained for.

 _I'm gay_ , she told herself again, trying to get the words to sound normal in her head. She was relieved that she had finally admitted it to herself, and to Emily (kind of - although she hadn't said the words to her directly, what she had done in Emily's bedroom could only really be interpreted one way).

 _I'm gay._ The words still made her feel uneasy, but the more she said it, the less jarring they became.

A brick from the wall in her head had come loose today, and although she wasn't sure if that wall could ever come down, for the first time in her life she found herself thinking about that possibility.


	14. Chapter 14

**_Paige_ **

As soon as she got home from her grandparents, she rushed up to her room to call Emily. She hadn't seen her in seven days, and that was seven days too many as far as she was concerned.

She had a grin on her face as the phone rang out, the smile fading when Emily finally answered. "Hey." She sounded happy to hear from her but her voice sounded deeper than usual; rough.

"Hey," Paige replied, immediately concerned. "You okay?"

"Yeah- well, no, I have the flu- but I feel better now that you're home." Paige could sense that Emily was smiling even as she sniffed.

"Oh, Em," Paige sighed. "That sucks. Want me to come over?"

"No," Emily shot back quickly. "I don't want you getting sick."

"I don't care if I do," Paige stated honestly. "I just want to see you."

"Trust me, you don't," Emily snorted. "I'm channeling Rudolph here." Paige started laughing which set Emily off, Paige's heart feeling lighter at the sound of it; god, she had missed her. They sobered when Emily started spluttering, moving the phone away from her mouth so that all Paige could hear were muffled coughs in the background. Emily's hoarse voice became clearer again as she spoke back into the speaker. "Sorry."

"Are you sure you don't want me to come over? I can bring soup or something."

"I'm sure; don't worry, my mom's taking good care of me." Paige was disappointed that she was going to have to wait at least another day to see Emily (probably more going by the sound of it), but if she was really that unwell she probably just wanted to sleep.

Paige sighed. "Okay, I'll check in with you later then?"

"Okay." Emily paused. "I miss you."

Paige's heart clenched. "I miss you too; get better soon."

* * *

"So, what are you guys doing for New Year's?" asked Hanna. "I wanted to have you all 'round but my mom said no." She huffed.

It was later in the day, and Paige, Hanna, Spencer and Aria were aimlessly roaming the streets of Rosewood, catching up since everyone had been busy with family over Christmas.

"You can all come over to my house if you want?" Aria suggested. "My parents are having people over anyway and I think Mike probably is as well; it's only fair I do, too."

"Yes!" Hanna grinned excitedly, before her smile fell. "Oh wait, what about Caleb…"

"He can come too," Aria added, Hanna smiling as if she had been hoping that was what Aria would say. "And Toby. And if you want to bring anyone, Paige, you can." Aria leaned around Spencer to look at Paige as they walked, smiling as she lifted an eyebrow.

"Uh, thanks," Paige smiled awkwardly, scratching the back of her neck and wondering if Emily would be well enough to go.

Aria seemed to have a similar thought. "I'll text Em and let her know; hopefully she's feeling better by then."

"Hey, can we go in here a sec?" Spencer was already heading into the music and DVD store before they had a chance to object.

Paige wandered up and down the aisles, flicking through some of the DVDs while Spencer went in search of an old record that she wanted to get Toby for his birthday. Nothing was really catching her eye until she spotted the familiar red lettering on the DVD box a few rows over. She walked towards it, picking it up with a small smile on her face.

_RUDY._

The amount of times Emily had made her watch it…

Up until she had 'accidentally' snapped the disc, that was. Paige had quite liked it the first time she'd seen it; it was a good sports movie with the message to never give up even if all the odds are against you; but by the time she was watching it for the 50th time, she'd had enough. She'd told Emily that she'd dropped it and the disc had just randomly broken ("What are the chances of that happening?" she'd said).

Emily had been annoyed but Paige had promised she would buy her a new one; she just hadn't followed through on that yet. In fact, she hadn't ever seen it in a store since; she'd thought she'd have to get it online if she ever wanted to replace Emily's copy.

She figured that it was a sign from the universe to buy it, now, seeing it here. It would probably cheer Emily up. Paige just hoped that she wouldn't become obsessed with the movie again.

She quickly made her way to the counter, digging $10 out of her bag and handing the money to the assistant, looking around the store to see where her friends were. She panicked slightly when she saw Hanna walking towards her. "What're you buying?" she asked.

She was ready to brush off Hanna's question with a vague answer before she remembered she had vowed to herself a few days ago to become better about not being so paranoid. _Don't lie. You don't need to lie._

The assistant handed Paige her change and the DVD, which she took out of the carrier bag briefly for Hanna to see. "Isn't that the movie you can't stand?"

"Yeah," Paige smiled. "It's for Emily, actually. It's one of her favourites; thought it might, you know, cheer her up a bit since she's feeling crappy." She forced herself to maintain eye contact with Hanna even though she felt the desperate urge to look away, scared that Hanna would be able to read her thoughts.

But there was no need to worry; all Hanna did was smile and say, "Aw, that's sweet," before moving past her to the counter to buy something of her own.

Paige blushed, dipping her head with a smile.

* * *

She made her way up to Emily's room after being let in by Pam, hoping that Emily wouldn't mind that she had ignored her warning not to come over.

She knocked the door lightly before pushing it open, seeing that Emily was lying in bed with the curtains drawn, her bedside table scattered with tissues, the glow from her laptop illuminating her face. Emily's eyes moved away from the screen, squinting in the direction of the door, a smile appearing on her lips when she realised it was Paige standing there.

"Paige," she groaned, shifting her laptop off to the side. "Just so you know, you're entering at your own risk."

Paige grinned, closing the door behind her as she moved towards Emily's bed. "I know, I know; I saw something in the DVD store that I thought you might like."

"Oh?" Emily said curiously, budging to the side so that Paige had enough room to sit on the bed. Paige handed her the carrier bag.

Emily reached inside to pull out the DVD, her face lighting up when she saw what it was. "Paige!" she exclaimed. "Where did you find this?"

"Just at the store a few streets down; I know, I was surprised to see it, too. I thought I had escaped it forever," she joked.

Emily caught Paige off guard by pulling her into a tight hug. "Thank you," she said into her neck. "You didn't need to do that; I know you hate it."

"I don't _hate_ it," Paige mumbled.

Emily pulled back to look at her dubiously. "Oh really? Then why did you snap my old one?"

Paige was about to argue before she just laughed. "You knew about that, huh?" She shouldn't be surprised; she could never hide anything well from Emily.

"Of course I knew; when you drop a disc they don't break. You should think of a better explanation next time, but don't think I won't be guarding this one carefully." She hugged the DVD box to her chest with a grin, Paige feeling like she could explode with a swelling emotion at the sight of her.

_Love._

The word popped into her head unexpectedly, but she realised that was the only one that could describe what she was feeling.

 She leaned forward to kiss Emily, but was abruptly stopped with a finger to her lips.

Realising the problem, Paige kissed Emily's finger lightly before taking her hand in her own. "Em, I've already been exposed to what you've got now; kissing won't make any difference." She wasn't sure how accurate that statement actually _was_ , but she didn't care; she needed to convey to Emily what she was feeling.

She began leaning in again, this time more slowly to give Emily a chance to pull away if she really didn't want to kiss her.

But she didn't pull away; their lips connected for the first time in a week and Paige felt like she was floating.

_I'm in love with Emily._

The words were exhilarating and frightening all at once and they caused her heart to race. She wasn't sure why her brain picked this particular moment to give a name to the emotion she had been feeling for weeks, but she decided just to go with it.

She eventually pulled back, noticing that Emily was having difficulty breathing through her nose and Paige was becoming distracted by the temperature of her skin; she pressed a palm to her forehead. "You're really hot." Emily smirked, opening her mouth to say something smart. "Warm," Paige corrected herself with a head shake of amusement. "You're really warm. Are you taking meds?"

"Yes, Paige. Don't worry; my mom has it all sorted."

"Okay, good," Paige smiled, pressing a kiss to her head and standing up; Emily grabbed her hand.

"Where do you think you're going? We're watching ' _Rudy_ '." Paige smiled, sighing. "Please?" Emily added.

Paige rolled her eyes. "Fine, if I must." She was happy that Emily wanted her to stay, even if it meant having to watch that damn movie again. She kicked off her shoes and lay down on the bed beside her.

Emily popped the DVD into her laptop before placing it on Paige's thighs and snuggling into her, resting her head on her chest; Paige hoped she couldn't hear how fast her heart was still beating; it was ridiculous; all they were doing was cuddling. How could Emily have this effect on her time and time again?

She willed herself to calm down, her hand playing with Emily's hair as they waited for the movie to load up. She heard Emily yawn. "You better not fall asleep on me, Em."

Emily buried her nose into her. "Sorry; I've not been sleeping well and you make a good pillow." Paige smiled into her hair, her hand moving down to stroke her fingers over Emily's shoulder. As Emily's hand curled into her shirt, she noticed that she was wearing the bracelet she had given her for Christmas.

She moved the hand that wasn't around Emily to trace her finger over the cool metal. "You're wearing it."

Emily gave a light laugh. "The only time I take it off is to shower." Paige felt insanely happy, knowing that she'd done exactly the same thing with her ring.

Paige pressed play on the laptop before lacing her fingers with Emily's across her stomach. "Did you get Aria's text?"

"Mhmm," Emily answered sleepily. It would be a miracle if Emily managed to see five minutes of the movie.

"And? Do you think you'll be better for then?" Paige wasn't usually a huge fan of New Year's, but she really wanted to be with Emily when the clock struck midnight; she felt like it was important. Maybe they could even sneak away for a minute so that Paige could kiss her.

"I hope so; if not, I'll come anyway," Emily said, her words slurring together. Paige gave up trying to talk to her, figuring that she needed the rest. She focused on the laptop screen, already remembering every detail of the movie. A few minutes later, she heard Emily's slow, deep breathing indicating that she was asleep.

She shook her head with a smile, stroking her fingers over Emily's hand that was still interlocked with her own.

_I'm so in love with you._

* * *

She jerked awake when her phone started vibrating in her pocket, just managing to catch the laptop before it slid off her thighs and onto the floor. After a moment of disorientation, she struggled to get her phone out of her jeans since Emily was trapping her right arm (now painfully numb).

Finally wrestling it free, she saw that it was her mom calling. "He-" She had to clear her throat. "Hello?"

"Paige? I thought you said you would be home for dinner?" Shit. She had no idea what time it was, but she must have been asleep for at least two hours if she was late home.

"Sorry, Mom. I lost track of the time, I'll be home soon."

"Okay, I'll put your plate back in the oven to keep it warm. Where are you, anyway?"

Paige scrunched her eyes shut. "I'm, uh, I'm at Emily's." She hoped she didn't sound half-awake because she wasn't sure she could explain that away efficiently in her current groggy state.

Thankfully her mom didn't question her further; she said goodbye and hung up. She put her phone on the bed and rubbed her eyes, trying to wake herself up. She felt that horrible sick way she did after she had a nap - although sleeping for two hours during the day could hardly be considered a nap.

Emily was still sound asleep, her hand clenching around the material of Paige's shirt as if to try and keep her there. Paige reluctantly loosened her hold, slowly shifting her arm out from underneath her, trying not to grunt in pain at the pins and needles in her arm.

She moved Emily's head gently onto the pillow and sat up, placing the laptop on the floor as she reached for her shoes and slipped them on. She sat on the edge of the bed as she waited for the feeling to return to her arm, watching Emily sleep, unable to resist running her hand through her hair. She was so beautiful, even with her 'Rudolph' nose.

She placed a soft kiss to her forehead before standing, pulling the covers back up to Emily's shoulders. She quietly exited the bedroom and made her way downstairs. "Bye, Mrs Fields," she said in the direction of the couch where Pam was sitting as she opened the door.

"Paige!"

She stopped in her tracks, popping her head past the door frame to look back into the house. "Yeah?"

Pam had stood up and was walking towards her, her hands wringing together and her mouth opening. She seemed to be struggling with something. Paige raised her eyebrows questioningly.

Pam shut her mouth again, giving her a small smile and waving her hand. "Never mind. Tell your parents I said hi."

Paige frowned slightly in confusion. "Okay…" she smiled hesitantly. "Bye."

Pam came to shut the door behind her as she made her way down the path. Paige threw a wave over her shoulder as Pam watched her walk away. She shoved her hands into her pockets, feeling awkward.

What the hell?

* * *

**_Emily_ **

She knew before she opened her eyes that Paige was gone, but she still reached her hand out into the empty space where she had been lying. She opened her eyes with a sigh, seeing the room was significantly darker than it had been before she had fallen asleep. She turned her head to look at her alarm clock, groaning as the pounding headache she'd had for two days returned in full force.

She'd been asleep for over three hours; no wonder Paige had left. Emily reached for her phone to text an apology.

_Sorry I fell asleep! You're just too comfy. We'll watch rudy next time :P_

She closed her eyes again with a smile, still unable to believe how sweet Paige could be. Her phone buzzed with Paige's reply.

_Oh, that's okay, we don't have to ;) Btw, have you spoken to your mom since I left? She was acting weird. I fell asleep too, what if she saw us?_

The words sent adrenaline coursing through her veins instantly. She sat up, running her hand through her hair, swallowing hard.

Crap.

It was completely possible that her mom could have seen them; she'd been checking up on Emily regularly to see if her fever had gone down any or to see if she needed anything.

She quickly typed back a reply. _I haven't, but I'll go speak to her now, I'm sure it's nothing._

Although she wasn't sure at all.

She dragged herself out of the bed, making her way downstairs slowly, the bright lights of the house hurting her eyes. "Hey," she croaked, feeling nervous as she padded into the living room and sat down beside her mom on the couch.

"Hi, honey. Feeling any better?" Her mom held out her palm; Emily leaned forward so that she could feel her forehead. "Hmm, think your temperature might have gone down a little but it's still higher than normal. You still need to rest."

Emily sniffed, starting to feel slightly better than she had been before her sleep now that she was awake properly; she wasn't entirely sure though whether that was _because_ of the sleep, or because of Paige.

 She stared blankly at the TV as she thought about how to ask if her mom had seen her and Paige sleeping without actually _asking_. Even if she had, Emily could just pass it off as two friends cuddling (even though she had a feeling it might have blatantly looked a bit more intimate than that).

"My head still hurts and my muscles still ache, but l feel a bit better after that sleep I just had," she started, looking to the side to see if her mom had any reaction as she said, "Paige bought me a new copy of ' _Rudy_ '."

"That's good, sweetie," she smiled, shooting her a smile before looking back at the TV. "If you keep resting you should be fine in a few days."

Her mom hadn't acknowledged the comment about Paige buying the DVD, but she wasn't giving Emily any indication that she knew anything either. Emily expected to be relieved, but all she could feel was disappointment. In a way, it would have been better; if her mom brought up the conversation in the first place it would be so much easier for her to tell her she was gay rather than having to build up the courage to come out with that information on her own.

Although, if she came out after this particular situation, that would give Paige away as well, she realised.

She sighed under her breath; she wanted to tell her mom soon, but it couldn't be today. It would probably be better to wait until her dad was here as well, she reckoned.

She sent another text to Paige so that she wouldn't worry.

_She knows nothing._

* * *

It was New Year's Eve, and Emily was thankfully almost back to normal; and even better, Paige didn't seem to be showing any symptoms of the flu. She was looking forward to just being able to relax and have a good night, hopefully bringing in the New Year by kissing Paige. She wasn't sure how she was going to go about doing that just yet, but she was adamant on making it happen.

She had decided to wear a blue cocktail dress to Aria's, and was just picking out shoes to go with it when there were two loud raps on her door before it swung open.

It was Hanna. "Hey, what's up?" Emily asked, Hanna barging into the room and dumping a dress and make-up bag onto Emily's bed.

"My hair straighteners just exploded, that's what's up," she said irritably. "Can I use yours?" Emily snorted; as if Hanna had given her much choice in the matter. She pointed in the direction of where they were lying on top of her dresser.

Hanna stood in front of Emily's mirror as she straightened the rest of her hair, Emily continuing to look for shoes to go with the dress. "Is that what you're wearing?" Emily poked her out of the closet to see Hanna nodding towards the dress that was hung up on her door.

"Yup," Emily said. She held up a pair of heels. "Think these will go with it?"

Hanna nodded. "Yeah, that'll be cute," she smiled, turning back to face the mirror. Emily excused herself to use the bathroom, returning to see Hanna unplugging the straighteners and moving to sit on her bed.

Emily didn't think anything of it until she noticed Hanna shifting uncomfortably on top of the covers.

_Shit._

Hanna rooted around under the duvet for the source of her discomfort, Emily freezing and instantly regretting sleeping with Paige's hoodie last night. She hadn't even worn it- she had been too warm- just slept with it like a sort of blanket to snuggle into. She knew she was bordering on being a giant loser, but sometimes she just needed Paige close, and since she couldn't have the real thing…

She quickly busied herself, looking through her make-up sitting on her desk, hoping that Hanna wouldn't mention anything; she was being as paranoid as Paige now.

"Why do you have Paige's old hoodie?"

Or maybe she wasn't.

Shit. _Shit._

"Huh?" Emily said looking over her shoulder, stalling, desperately trying to think of something to say. "Oh, that's not Paige's, it's mine," she said as casually as she could, turning away from Hanna.

Just as she thought she had gotten away with the lie, Hanna said, "No, it's not; Paige's had this small hole in the sleeve." She held it up to show her. "See? I clearly remember telling Paige she needed to get a new one because this one could walk its way to the garbage."

"Oh, maybe it is Paige's then; we must have got them mixed up in the locker room or something." Emily was becoming increasingly nervous; she walked to the window, looking out of it more for the sake of something to do than actually wanting to see outside.

"Why are you acting weird?" Hanna said, sounding confused.

"I'm not," Emily shot back, cringing at how weird she _sounded_. She cleared her throat, saying, "Looks like the Cavanaughs' got a new mailbox," in a pathetic attempt to change the subject. She turned around when she heard a loud gasp; Hanna was clasping her hand tightly over her mouth, eyes wide.

_Aww, crap._

The game was up; Hanna had figured it out. Emily had known it was only a matter of time before someone found out; secrets always had a way of making themselves known.

"Oh. My. God," Hanna finally said, lowering her hand slowly. "It's her, isn't it? It's Paige you've been seeing?" Emily could only put her head in her hands, already stressed about this new situation. "Wow; my head just exploded." There was silence as Hanna obviously began processing this new information. "Things make much more sense now," she suddenly said. "The secrecy over who you were seeing; you and Paige fighting… I don't know how I didn't see it before."

Emily heard Hanna stand and walk over to her. She pulled her hands away from her face. "Em! Will you look at me? This is great!"

Emily sighed. "No, it's not, Hanna. Paige will probably freak when I tell her that you know. I wouldn't be surprised if she calls the whole thing off…" Tears sprung to her eyes at the thought, causing a look of concern to grace Hanna's face.

"Hey," Hanna said, hugging her. "She doesn't need to know that I know."

Emily worried her lip between her teeth. "But I can't lie to her; I feel bad enough as it is not telling her that you know I'm seeing someone."

Hanna pulled back. "It's not lying; it's just not offering the whole truth." Emily raised an eyebrow doubtfully. "What? It's a thing," Hanna assured her. Emily shook her head, making her way to sit on the bed, not feeling any better about the idea of keeping this from Paige. Hanna followed. "Look, there's no point in worrying about it tonight; it's New Year's! You can decide what to do later."

After a moment, Emily agreed. "You're right. Tonight isn't the night to be stressing over this." She looked at Hanna, who had a slow grin spreading over her face. Emily sniffed, feeling a smile tugging at her own lips, and before long they were both laughing.

"So, you're in love with Paige, huh?" Hanna hit Emily's knee. Emily smiled at hearing that sentence out loud for the first time, nodding. She didn't think that Hanna could look any happier; she wished that Paige were here to see the reaction. "This is so amazing, Em."

"I know," she nodded, the thought crossing her mind every day that she and Paige had been together. They fell into a brief silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Then suddenly, Hanna gasped again, making Emily jump. "What?"

"Sorry, I just realised that two of my best friends have had sex - with each other."

"Jeez, Hanna…"

* * *

They finally made their way to Aria's, but not before Hanna made her give an overview of her relationship with Paige. She'd kept it brief, telling her she had liked Paige for months, and that things between them had started at Noel Kahn's party when they'd kissed, resulting in an argument (she kept the details about that blurry) and weeks of tension and confusion until they officially admitted their feelings for each other when Paige was staying at her house for the week.

Hanna had listened intently as Emily spoke, totally wrapped up in the story, and Emily found that she was wrapped up in telling it. Hanna had squealed when Emily had taken off her bracelet to show her the engraving on the inside of it, saying, "Who knew Paige McCullers was a romantic? And to think she teased Caleb about giving me flowers on our anniversary…"

They walked into Aria's, seeing the house was heaving with people. "Hey!" Aria greeted them, making her way through the crowd. "Glad you could make it." She hugged them both. "Good to see you finally up and about, Em." They followed Aria into the living room where Paige, Caleb, Spencer and Toby had claimed their own small space amongst the group of adults at the back corner of the room. Toby was perched on the edge of a sofa, Spencer leaning into him; Paige and Caleb were sitting cross-legged on the floor, Emily almost laughing at the looks on both of their faces as they saw them.

Paige's eyes flicked down the length of her body, the slightest of smiles appearing on her face. Paige and Caleb stood up to make more room for them; Paige was wearing what looked like black leather pants with boots that were laced up to her knees and a black vest over Emily's favourite dark green shirt; she looked hot. Emily swallowed, trying her best not stare.

They all greeted each other, Hanna kissing Caleb chastely before hugging Paige as Emily hugged Spencer. Emily had to give Hanna credit; her poker face was immaculate. To Paige, that would have just seemed like a normal hug, but Emily knew it was more than that; Hanna was hugging Paige in support of her and her relationship with Emily.

Emily said a quick 'hi' to Toby and Caleb before wrapping her arms around Paige tightly, pressing a subtle kiss into her shoulder.

Aria had gone to get them drinks, returning and handing them cups full of what looked like Coke. Hanna took a sip, screwing her face up. "Hey, there's no alcohol in this."

Aria looked around before lowering her voice, saying, "We might be able to swipe some later when the adults are a bit more… looser."

"No need," Hanna said, rooting around in her purse. "I brought this just in case." She discreetly showed them the tip of a flask, turning her back to conceal it as she poured some of its contents into her cup.

"If we get caught I'm handing you over," Aria smirked before handing her cup to Hanna to get her share. Once all of their drinks were a little stronger, they all squeezed to sit in a circle on the floor. There almost wasn't room for Emily to sit beside Paige, but Hanna managed to pull Caleb over slightly; so casually that it was virtually unnoticeable to anyone but her.

She smiled to herself; Hanna knowing about them was already beginning to have its perks.

* * *

There were fifteen minutes to go until midnight and everyone was starting to get drinks ready to ring in the New Year. Emily was starting to fidget; she wasn't sure how to manoeuvre herself and Paige away from the group without drawing attention to it.

Paige kept shooting her looks anxiously, obviously thinking along the same lines. Paige sighed, standing up. "Be back in a minute, need to pee." Once she had left, Hanna scooted over into the vacant space beside Emily.

Caleb was currently talking to Aria, and Toby was mumbling something into Spencer's ear, so no one noticed when Hanna started quietly talking to her. "Go take Paige into the yard; I'll make sure Caleb and I make-out at the back door so that no one can interrupt you."

Emily smiled slowly at Hanna's plan; it was perfect. If she could get Caleb to cooperate without giving anything away, that was. "Wait, how? Seems like a weird place to want to make-out."

"Em, just go; trust me, I got this." Hanna smiled affectionately at her.

"You're the best," Emily said quickly, standing up and swaying slightly, feeling a bit tipsy from Hanna's flask. She brushed down her dress, hoping it wasn't crushed too badly. "Back in a second," she said to the group even though no one was really paying attention. She waited impatiently for Paige to exit the bathroom, grinning when she finally appeared behind the door. She nodded her head in the direction of the backyard for Paige to follow.

Emily opened the door, the fresh air hitting her immediately. She might have been cold if it weren't for the heat of the house and the buzz of the alcohol in her system. She looked around, grinning when she saw that there was no one else out here. Paige closed the door hesitantly behind her, a small smile on her face.

"Do you think we're safe out here?"

_Yes, we have guards at the door._

"I think so; we'll just need to keep an ear out for the door opening." Smiles spread across their faces, Emily yanking Paige into her. They kissed intensely due to the tension built up from being near each other all night and not being able to touch apart from a sly brush of an arm or a leg. Emily pushed Paige into the wall of the house, pulling back with a smirk.

"You look so hot in this outfit." She ran her hands over Paige's vest as she stepped back to look down at her. Paige laughed, catching her hands in her own.

"Oh, yeah? Well, you're looking pretty hot yourself." Paige pulled her close again, her hand reaching down to run up the back of her bare thigh, pushing her dress up as she went.

"Paige," Emily giggled.

"Sorry," she said, not looking sorry at all, nipping at her lips. "I can't help it." They kissed again, slowly; deeply.

Paige broke away, her expression suddenly serious. After a moment, she said, "Em, I want to tell you something." Emily was instantly alert.

"What?" she asked, concerned.

Paige unfastened the top button of her shirt and took Emily's hand, slipping it underneath the material, laying Emily's palm flat against her warm skin. "Feel that?" Emily was momentarily confused. She raised her eyebrows, causing Paige to shift her hand slightly lower.

"Paige, what-" And that's when she felt it; Paige's racing heart.

Her face must have indicated she now understood what Paige was talking about, because Paige continued. "This- this is what you do to me." Emily looked up from their hands under Paige's shirt and into her eyes, which were looking at her so intensely that it left her breathless. "I love you, Emily."

The words took Emily aback; she hadn't expected Paige to say those words first, or even at all. _Is this real?_

Paige leaned forward to kiss her, bringing her out of her brief moment of shock. Emily responded, her hand slipping up from Paige's chest to her neck, eventually tangling in the back of her hair. She pulled back with a small laugh, a single tear escaping from the corner of her eye. "I love you, too." Paige grinned widely, wiping away the tear and kissing her again before burying her face against her neck in a hug.

"You're not just saying that because you're drunk, are you?" Emily half-joked, suddenly worrying that was the case.

Paige looked at her once again. "I'm not drunk," she stated firmly. Emily raised an eyebrow; she had seen how many top-ups from Hanna's flask she'd had. "I'm tipsy, not drunk, and yeah; maybe that gave me the courage to tell you, but know that I mean every word."

Emily searched Paige's warm brown eyes, seeing only the truth reflected back at her, finally saying, "Okay," and hugging her again with a smile. They stood like that for a few minutes, Emily contemplating the night's events. Maybe Paige could handle more than she thought? Emily had thought telling her she loved her would be too much for her to handle right now, but _Paige_ had been the one to say it, first, and with absolutely no pressure to do so.

Emily suddenly had the urge to tell her about Hanna so that it wasn't hanging over her. She couldn't keep it from her, not now; not when Paige had just opened up to her like that. She was just about to speak when they suddenly heard the countdown from inside the house.

"10! 9! 8!"

They looked at each other with a smile, waiting for the moment. She would just need to tell Paige later; soon.

"4! 3! 2! 1!"

They kissed, cupping each other's cheeks in their hands as cheers filled the air from inside the house and all around the neighbourhood.

"Happy New Year," Emily whispered against Paige's lips.

Paige smiled, resting her forehead against Emily's. "Happy New Year."


	15. Chapter 15

**_Emily_ **

It was January 6th; their last day off before school started back again, and Emily still hadn't told Paige about Hanna.

It wasn't technically her fault though; her dad had made a surprise visit home on New Year's Day, much to Emily and her mom's delight. They hadn't seen him in over a month and hadn't expected to see him any time soon. They were even more surprised when he'd told them some training programmes needed to be rescheduled to work more efficiently and that the army base wouldn't need him for two weeks.

Emily was ecstatic, but that also meant she had been busy and hadn't found the time to tell Paige yet.

Okay, that wasn't exactly true; she was pretty sure she could have managed to squeeze the information out if she had really wanted to, but instead she chose to allow the time they _did_ have together to be filled with activities that didn't involve a lot of talking.

Like now, for instance.

Her parents had gone out for lunch and Emily had swiftly called Paige to come over; she was currently lying underneath Emily wearing only panties.

Paige moaned against her as Emily pushed a thigh up into her centre, Paige grinding down into her hard. Emily teased Paige's lips with her own, brushing across them ever so lightly, flicking the tip of her tongue out over Paige's mouth with a smirk.

Paige smiled, lifting her head off the pillow to nip at her bottom lip before kissing her properly, sliding a hand down her back and into her underwear, grabbing her ass and pushing Emily down into her thigh.

Emily groaned, biting along Paige's jaw softly as their bodies moved against each other, slowly increasing in speed until Emily remembered that she wanted to try something and suddenly pulled back, removing her thigh from Paige's core. Paige growled in frustration, causing Emily to snort in laughter, the frown in Paige's head flattening as she became aware of her own impatience.

"Sorry," Paige sighed. "Just, what are you doing?"

Emily didn't answer; instead, she shifted so that she was straddling Paige's thighs, bracing an arm either side of Paige's head and looking into her eyes as she began to lower her hips down.

Paige's mouth opened in a silent gasp of pleasure as Emily rubbed her centre against Paige's, whose eyes fluttered closed as Emily bit her lip with a moan. She ground down softly, sending spikes of arousal through her body, her stomach flipping.

A high pitched noise escaped the back of Paige's throat as Emily began to move against her more steadily, her hands roaming all over Emily's back and ass. "Em," Paige moaned as Emily quickened the pace, her hips rolling faster and faster into Paige as she squirmed beneath her.

Paige moved her hands to Emily's front, palming her breasts before leaning up to take a nipple into her mouth, Emily's back arching into her.

Although their underwear was creating amazing friction and she could easily come from continuing, this wasn't what Emily wanted to try. "Actually," she started as her hips slowed, "I have a better idea." She quickly shifted backwards, slipping off her soaked through underwear before hastily removing Paige's, unable to resist quickly dipping her head and running her tongue over Paige's exposed clit, sucking lightly, Paige's hips bucking into her mouth.

She lifted her head, meeting Paige's eyes and feeling even more aroused at the way she was looking at her; so open; so full of want. Emily kneeled on the bed, curling her hand around Paige's left calf and lifting her leg up, stretching it back gently so that the top of Paige's thigh was brushing against her stomach. "Is this okay?" Emily asked to make sure it wasn't too uncomfortable for Paige.

"Yeah," Paige choked out, gulping, obviously catching on to what Emily was about to do.

Emily spread her knees wide, shuffling in as close to Paige as possible, straddling Paige's centre, both of them crying out as Emily connected their bodies; Emily now felt all of Paige pressing against her; words couldn't describe how incredible it felt.

 She stared into Paige's eyes as she slowly began to move her hips, Paige's hands gripping the back of her thighs, locking her against her body. Emily was unable to resist looking down at where she was sliding against Paige's wetness, their clits brushing, a loud involuntary moan filling the room.

She used Paige's leg she was still holding up to support herself as she started to grind against her in shorter, sharper motions, Paige's fingernails digging almost painfully into the flesh of her thighs.

"Emily, fuck," she hissed, her eyes squeezing closed as Emily quickened the pace. "Yeah, faster." Emily obeyed Paige's command, struggling to control her breathing as she rocked harder against her, Paige using her hands on Emily's thighs to pull herself up to meet Emily's every thrust.

"Faster," Paige said again through gritted teeth.

Sweat was beginning to form on Emily's brow, moving against Paige as fast as she could, almost _pounding_ against her, in desperate need of release, a continuous string of moans escaping from both of them, Emily unable to decipher Paige's from her own.

Paige's breath hitched; Emily took the cue, looking down to make sure her long drawn out grinds were fixated on Paige's clit, causing Paige to shudder violently beneath her, the wetness between them increasing as she came.

Emily gradually slowed her pace, riding out Paige's orgasm with her, before shifting back and lowering Paige's leg back onto the mattress, knowing that Paige would be too sensitive now for Emily to continue rubbing against her centre to get herself off.

Instead, she leaned down to kiss Paige briefly, trailing lazy kisses over her chest, before sitting up and grinding against the thigh she was now straddling, her hands running over Paige's breasts as she did so.

It didn't take her long; she had already been so close, and Paige was now watching her from under heavy eyelids, moaning softly. Emily jerked against Paige's thigh with a gasp, bliss overwhelming her. She slumped forward, unable to support herself any longer as her muscles gave way to exhaustion.

They lay in silence while they got their breath back, Paige eventually shifting onto her side to meet Emily's eyes with a lazy smile, her hand pushing Emily's hair back from her sweaty forehead.

Emily grinned back at her, sliding over to kiss her gently. "So," Paige murmured. "What was _that_?" She was looking at her in such wonder that Emily couldn't help but laugh.

She traced her thumb over Paige's bottom lip. "I may or may not have seen an online video the other day…"

Paige's eyes widened slightly. " _You_ watch porn?"

Emily kissed Paige again. "Sometimes," she admitted. "Don't you?"

Paige gave her a smirk that told her all she needed to know. "You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" Emily smiled, her hand tangling in the back of Paige's hair and pulling her mouth to hers to squash down the guilt that surfaced at the words.

She had to tell her; she couldn't keep putting this off.

Paige pulled back, stroking her cheek as she said, "I love you."

_Damn it, Paige._

Emily's chest ached at hearing those words for the second time; she'd been beginning to worry that Paige really _had_ only said it the first time because she had been drinking. Her brief urge to tell her about Hanna began to dissipate. She couldn't ruin this moment.

"I love you, too" she smiled, letting happiness consume her and burying her face in Paige's neck.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

When she walked into school on Monday morning, she couldn't avoid the prom posters that had been plastered on what seemed like every wall they passed. "Wow," Emily said beside her. "Looks like the prom committee went all out."

"No wonder," Paige replied. "Spencer's on it." They rounded the corner to see Spencer and Hanna by the lockers. "Speaking of…"

"So, what do you think?" Spencer asked excitedly as they approached her. "Do you think the posters are noticeable enough?"

Paige shot Emily and Hanna a wide-eyed look. "Um, yeah, Spence; you could say that."

Spencer laughed. "Okay, good. I hope I can get in everyone's ticket orders fast so we can start booking and ordering stuff." She pulled a notebook and pen out of her bag. "You guys can be first. Hanna, I guess I'll put you and Caleb down?"

Hanna nodded with a grin. "I can't wait; Caleb in a tux," she swooned. Spencer smiled into her notebook as she wrote down their names. "Paige?"

"Yeah, put me down," she replied quickly. She made a show of checking the time, saying, "I need to get to class; I need to talk to Miss Archer about a project before the bell rings." She almost managed to escape Spencer's next question.

"Paige! Wait; should I put you down for a plus one?" She could feel them all looking at her expectantly, but she kept her gaze fixed on Spencer.

"Uh…"

"You've got like, five months to find someone," Spencer pointed out, raising her eyebrows as she lowered her pen to the paper.

"Put me down for a maybe?" Paige finally said, shooting Emily a quick glance; she was looking at her feet, obviously hurt. Paige gritted her teeth. "Wait, no, never mind. Just put me down for one; that'll be fine."

"Paige, you've messed up my first page," Spencer groaned as she ripped the paper out of her notebook to start again.

Paige didn't care though; Emily had looked back up at her and was giving her a small smile, her eyes warm.

"See you guys later," she said, turning around with a smile of her own, making her way to class and feeling proud she hadn't let her knee-jerk response get the better of her.

* * *

"So," Emily started, "I'm glad you corrected yourself this morning." They were sitting in Emily's car outside of Paige's house having just finished their afternoon swim practice. Emily took her hand, giving it a light squeeze.

"I'm glad too," Paige smiled.

They fell into silence, Emily staring at their hands, looking like she wanted to say something. "What?" Paige asked.

"What do you mean 'what'?" Emily frowned, looking up at her.

"Something's bothering you; I can tell. So, spill," she said. Emily sighed, looking back to their hands and beginning to play with Paige's fingers.

"It's just- I want to go to prom with you." She met her eyes hesitantly, obviously anticipating an explosion of 'no way's' to leave her mouth.

And she wasn't wrong to expect that; in fact, it took every ounce of Paige's willpower not to fall into that routine. She didn't say anything for a minute, instead deciding to think about what she wanted to say before just blurting out the first answer that came to mind.

"I don't know, Em," she finally said, trying to look into the future; if she was honest, she couldn't see it happening. In order to go to the prom as a couple, she would have to be out to everyone and that was just too much to think about right now; she shuddered.

Emily looked disappointed at her answer. "Look," Paige said. "We can still go together even if it's not _together_." She studied Emily's face to see if that consoled her any; it didn't. Then, before she knew it, she was saying, "If it helps any, I've been thinking about coming out to Spence, Hanna and Aria."

Emily's head shot up, Paige instantly seeing the hope flood into her eyes. _Oh no_ , a voice in her head said. _Why did you say that, idiot. You're just telling her what she wants to hear._

Paige gulped, wondering if that was true. The thought of telling them _had_ flitted through her mind, but she wasn't exactly planning on how and when to tell them. She shouldn't have said anything until she was sure; she didn't want to disappoint Emily by not being able to follow through.

She just couldn't bear to see Emily looking sad.

"Seriously?" Emily said, sounding pleasantly surprised. "That's great, Paige." She gripped her hand tighter in her excitement. " _Really_ great. Have you thought about when you might? Tell them, I mean."

_No, no, no._

She could already feel the pressure pressing down on her, her heartbeat starting to quicken. "I don't know yet; I just said I was thinking about it," she said hastily, trying to dampen Emily's hopes slightly, and even though Emily dimmed her smile slightly, Paige could tell by the look in her eyes that the message hadn't gotten through properly.

_Shit._

* * *

**_Emily_ **

She drove home with a grin on her face, having just dropped Paige off.

This was the best news; she wouldn't need to tell Paige about Hanna after all; Paige could tell Hanna _herself_ that she was gay. Paige coming out when she was ready and on her own terms would be so much better for her rather than Emily having to spring the information on her that Hanna already knew.

Emily could tell that she had spooked Paige when she had gotten over-excited, but she couldn't help it; this was what she had been waiting for; what _they_ had been waiting for.

There was still a way to go, but Paige coming out to their friends would be a huge step in the right direction, and she couldn't suppress the hope that was swelling inside of her.

This was it- they were heading towards where she and Paige could actually _be_ in a proper relationship together.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

It was Wednesday afternoon and she'd just finished setting up her chemistry experiment. Since it would take ten minutes for anything to happen, she asked to be excused to use the bathroom.

She made her way down the stairs quickly, smiling at the good timing when she saw the back of Emily, who was on a free period, disappearing into the bathroom at the other end of the hall. Emily hadn't seen her yet; hopefully no one else would be in there. Paige was already imagining running her hands over Emily's body as she pushed her against the wall, kissing down her neck…

As she approached the door, she heard people talking. Her heart sank in disappointment, the fantasy coming to an end.

She suddenly registered _whose_ voices she could hear. It was Emily and Hanna.

She grinned, about to push the door open when a line of the conversation made her stop. Paige's smile faded, quickly looking around the empty hallway before pressing her ear to the door, listening intently.

"I can't believe you still haven't told her," Hanna was saying.

"No, Hanna, listen. I don't need to; she's going to tell you herself. Trust me; it's better this way," Emily stated. "Less anxiety."

Paige swallowed hard, her heart rate increasing.

"But what if that takes months, Em? You told me she only said she was thinking about it, not that she was actually gonna do it."

 _No. No - she wouldn't._ _Emily wouldn't have said anything. This has to be about something else._

There was a silence in the bathroom, Paige waiting with bated breath for Emily's reply, her chest almost aching as her heart pounded against her ribcage.

"Look, I'll give it a few weeks, and if it doesn't look like she's gonna come out any time soon, I'll tell her about you knowing."

Paige felt all the air leave her as the words sank in; Emily was talking to Hanna about her; about _them_.

Her body seemed to have a mind of its own; she slammed a hand against the door, throwing it open. Both Emily and Hanna visibly jumped.

"Paige!" Emily exclaimed, her eyes widening in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"What were you guys just talking about?" she said as evenly as she could manage, but her voice sounded shaky to her own ears. She was having trouble taking a breath.

Emily's mouth opened and closed repeatedly as Hanna ran a hand through her hair and looked down at the floor, exhaling heavily.

Paige closed her eyes. "What were you talking about?" she repeated when she didn't receive an answer, angrier this time; louder. She opened her eyes slowly, waiting, desperate for Emily to say something that would make sense of this.

"Paige-"

"Did you tell Hanna?" she whispered, tears beginning to pool in her eyes, a sense of shock overtaking her body. "About us?"

"Paige, it's not like that," Emily pleaded, taking a step towards her; Paige took a step back.

"Don't," she growled, Emily freezing instantly. She gripped the edge of the door tightly, staring at a spot on the floor with wide eyes, her vision blurring over with tears. "How could you do this to me?" she gasped, more to herself than Emily.

"Paige," Emily begged; she was crying now; Paige could hear it in her voice. "Please let me explain." Paige saw Emily's feet begin to move towards her again.

She let go of the door, moving out of the bathroom quickly and retreating back down the hall. She could hear Emily following after her, but she didn't stop; _couldn't_ stop. Emily tried to grab her hand, but she snatched it out of her grasp.

She heard a sob behind her as Emily's footsteps slowed, a muffled "Paige" echoing down the empty corridor that sounded so raw that she _almost_ turned back.

But she didn't; she continued back to class, sitting down at her desk, totally on autopilot. She felt numb, unable to process what had just happened.

She didn't know the details. All that was clear was that Hanna knew she was gay, and that Emily had lied to her; she wasn't sure which was worse.

She felt a hot tear trail down her cheek.

"Yo, Earth to Paige." She shook her head, wiping her face quickly and turning to see David, her lab partner, looking at her with a concerned expression. "You don't look so good. You okay?"

"Actually, I'm feeling a bit sick," Paige managed to choke out past the lump in her throat. "I think I need to go home. Can you explain to Mr Reed that I needed to go home?" Her teacher was currently busy talking to some students a few tables over and wouldn't even notice her leave.

"Sure," David said looking sympathetic, patting her shoulder briefly.

Paige quickly packed up her stuff and left the classroom, breathing in deeply through her nose as she walked down the hallway, managing to keep herself together until she was in the parking lot.

She broke down completely, taking big gasping breaths of the fresh air between her sobs, feeling dizzy and having to lean against a wall to support herself.

She had never felt so betrayed; she had trusted Emily utterly and completely in every way, and she had been _lying_ to her.

_How could she do this?_

Was it just Hanna that knew? Or did Spencer? Did Aria? Did everyone?

Paige suddenly felt so angry that she almost punched the wall, only just managing to stop herself by remembering how that turned out the last time she had felt this level of rage; except this time the rage wasn't directed at herself.

This time it was directed at Emily.

* * *

After walking around the park for an hour or two, she realised she had nowhere else to go but home; hopefully her parents would still be at work. She couldn't be bothered to listen to them complain about her skipping her last two classes and swim practice.

She walked home slowly, her feet heavy and her head pounding from all the crying. She opened the front door cautiously, listening carefully for any sign that she wasn't alone.

Hearing nothing, she closed the door with a sigh, making a beeline for her bedroom. She dumped her bag, jacket and shoes on the floor before crawling into her bed, pulling the covers over her head in an attempt to block out the world, praying that she would wake up and find this had all been a horrible nightmare.

* * *

A distant banging slowly roused her; someone was knocking on the front door. She squeezed her eyes shut even tighter, willing the noise away.

"Fuck _off_ ," she hissed under her breath when it continued, persistent. After what felt like five minutes, it finally stopped.

The next time she woke, her mom was pulling her covers off of her head, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Why are you in bed? Shouldn't you be at swim practice?"

"I came home early," she grumbled, closing her eyes again. "I'm not well."

"What's wrong?" she asked. Paige felt her run a hand up and down her arm in comfort. The lump returned to her throat, her voice thick as she just simply stated, "I'm sick." And it wasn't a lie; she really did feel sick.

"Okay, just rest then; you can let me know if you want anything to eat later." And with that, her mom left, Paige instantly pulling the covers over her head again, a tear running over the bridge of her nose.

She wasn't sure how much time passed, but she didn't sleep again. She couldn't.

She resorted to staring blankly up at the ceiling, watching the room become dimmer and dimmer as the day wore on, her fingers absent-mindedly playing with the ring on her thumb. Her emotions flitted between sadness, worry, anger and nothingness; a continuous cycle going on and on inside her head.

The cycle broke when she heard a knock on the front door again; panic consumed her. She had a good idea who it was, and she knew that either her mom or dad wouldn't let the door go unanswered.

"Hey, Mrs McCullers," she heard Hanna's voice echo from downstairs. "Is Paige in?"

"Oh, nice to see you, Hanna, but Paige isn't feeling very well; a sickness bug or something."

"Yeah," Hanna replied quickly. "I know; I just wanted to check she was alright. And actually, I really need to borrow a book from her; is it okay if I just run up? I'll be quick."

Paige hastily turned onto her side so that she was facing away from the door as she heard someone coming up the stairs. She heard her bedroom door opening slowly with a creak. "Paige?" Hanna said tentatively; Paige ignored her.

She heard a huff and the sound of the door shutting, her bed dipping as Hanna sat on it. "Paige, look; I know you're mad, but you need to at least hear what actually happened. Emily knows you don't want to see her right now, so she asked me to tell you everything."

Paige stared resolutely at the wall, refusing to give Hanna any indication that she was listening. "Paige," Hanna groaned at her lack of reaction. She sighed. "You could have at least answered your phone, by the way, to let us know you were okay; we didn't know where you were."

Paige had turned her phone off the moment she had seen Emily trying to phone her; it was still in her jacket pocket, lying in a crumpled heap on the floor.

"Okay, I'm just gonna assume you'll listen if I start talking," Hanna stated, taking in a breath. "So, I saw the hickey you gave Emily-"

"Shhh," Paige hissed, sitting up, finally looking at Hanna, her gaze flicking to the door. "Lower your voice." The last thing she needed was for her parents to overhear this conversation.

"Sorry," Hanna said, lowering her voice to just louder than a whisper, giving her a flicker of a smile. Paige kept her face neutral, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on her knees, looking straight ahead as she waited for Hanna to continue. "So, I spotted the hickey, and Emily got really antsy about it, trying to pass it off as a burn or something; but I didn't buy it. I managed to get the info out of her that she was seeing someone, but she refused to tell me who."

Hanna paused a moment, giving Paige a chance to digest the information. All Paige remembered was Emily telling her directly that no one had seen the hickey or asked about it; her anger flared up once again. She had been lying to her for weeks.

"That was all I knew up until New Year's Eve, when I found your old Sharks hoodie -which you should have burned, to be honest- in Emily's bed. Emily told me it was hers, but I noticed the hole in the sleeve, and Emily started acting really weird; I finally put two and two together." Paige could feel Hanna looking at her. "So, Emily didn't tell me anything. I worked it out all on my own, okay? Emily almost cried because she was so afraid of how you'd react once she told you; afraid that you'd call the whole thing off- but, she was going to; it's my fault that she didn't tell you on New Year's; I told her not to, so if you want to blame anyone, blame me."

If Hanna magically thought everything was going to be fine again after the explanation she had just given then she was sorely mistaken; Paige didn't budge, still staring blankly at the wall.

Hanna sighed yet again. "God; don't you think you're being a tad melodramatic?"

Hanna didn't get it.

"Emily said you were thinking about telling us anyway?" she said gently. "Doesn't this make it easier, in a way?"

Hanna _really_ didn't get it.

She'd had the decision ripped away from her; maybe she would have properly considered coming out to her friends as the days went on, but she felt like that possibility had evaporated now. She wasn't ready for people to know; for _anyone_ but Emily to know. She knew that now.

"Paige, I don't care that you're gay." She flinched at the words. They didn't sound right coming from Hanna's mouth. "And I think you and Em are perfect together; please don't hold this against her; she was only trying to look out for you."

Tears welled in her eyes once again, her bottom lip quivering as she tried to hold it in. "Hey," Hanna said softly, putting a hand on her back.

Paige broke down, deep wracking sobs making her body convulse as she buried her face against her knees. She felt Hanna pull her into her side, running her hand up and down her arm. "It's okay, Paige; it's okay," she whispered, causing Paige to cry harder.

 _Nothing_ was okay.

* * *

The tears eventually stopped, Paige pulling away from Hanna, embarrassed, wiping her face with her bed covers.

She felt exhausted.

"Where's your phone?" Hanna asked.

"In my jacket pocket," Paige sniffed, flicking her hand in the direction of the floor. Hanna stood up to retrieve it, turning it on before she threw it onto the bed beside her. "Call Emily; text Emily; whatever, just please speak to her. Let her tell you her side of things."

"I can't," Paige said, her voice hoarse. "Not right now." She was still too angry; too raw. She wanted to be more in control of herself before she spoke to her, at the risk of saying something she might regret.

"Well, will I tell her you'll speak to her tomorrow? I need to tell her something; she'll go crazy."

"Just tell her I need some space and I'll speak to her when I'm ready," she snapped, looking in the direction of her window.

Hanna took a moment to respond, before saying, "Okay," quietly. She heard her move to leave, before she suddenly added, "I know I might not understand what you're going through, but I'm here if you need to talk; about anything, okay?"

Paige could only nod, unable to look at Hanna, feeling extremely emotional again. Who knew you could cry this many tears in a day?

Hanna finally left. Paige lay back down on the bed, turning onto her side and staring at her phone. Against her better judgement, she picked it up, seeing she had five texts, four missed calls and one voice message, all of them from either Emily or Hanna.

All of the texts were variants of _'Please, Paige, where are you?'_ or _'Please call me.'_

She clicked on the voicemail; Emily's choked up voice filled her ear.

_Paige, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have had to find out like that; I should have told you as soon as Hanna found out. I thought I was protecting you; I knew you weren't ready for anyone to know and I didn't want to add to your anxiety. And - I was just so worried- worried that if I told you, that you wouldn't want to be with me anymore out of fear of someone else finding out. I was selfish; you deserved to know. I've made a huge mistake, I'm sorry. Please give me a chance to make things right. Hanna tried your house but you didn't answer. Please call or text either of us to let us know you're okay. I love you, Paige. Bye._

Paige was gripping the phone so tight that she was surprised that it didn't break. Her chest was aching for Emily to be here with her, but at the same time she was unable to forgive her in this moment. She tucked the hand holding the phone under her chin, closing her eyes and replaying Emily's words in her head.

_I love you, Paige._

* * *

**_Emily_ **

She had never grabbed her phone so fast in her life when she saw it light up.

"Did you find her?" Emily asked, sitting up in her bed.

"Yeah," Hanna replied, slightly breathless. Emily could hear her heels clicking on the ground as she walked. "She's home; I've just seen her."

"Thank god," she sighed. The knot in Emily's stomach loosened a fraction, glad that Paige hadn't jumped on a bus and disappeared; visions of that happening had plagued her mind all day. Paige had had a huge shock; Emily hadn't been sure _what_ she would do. She couldn't get that wild look that had been in Paige's eyes in the bathroom out of her head. "And? How is she?" She chewed on her lip anxiously as she waited for Hanna to reply.

"Honestly, Em? Not good. I've never seen her like that before."

Emily felt sick. "Did you explain that I didn't tell you?" she asked desperately. She couldn't have Paige thinking she'd actually told Hanna about them; couldn't have her thinking that she'd betrayed her trust like that.

"I did," Hanna stated. "I don't know what she's thinking though; she didn't really talk much. She said she'll speak to you when she's ready, and just to give her some space right now."

Tears leaked from her eyes; the last thing she wanted was space between them. She wanted to go to Paige's, crawl into bed beside her and hold her close while she apologised over and over.

But, after what she had done, the least she could do was honour Paige's wishes. She just hoped Paige wouldn't leave her hanging too long. It was killing her already and it had only been a few hours.

Hanna must have sensed her upset. "Look, Em, she'll come 'round. I know she will," she said gently.

Emily wished she could share some of that surety. "I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow." They said goodbye, Emily slumping back onto her pillows, wondering how she could have been so stupid.

* * *

The sick hollow feeling in her stomach still hadn't disappeared as she walked into school the next morning after a fitful night's sleep. She was still waiting on hearing from Paige. She wasn't even sure if she would show at school today.

Her question was answered, however, just after first period when she was on her way to her next class. She was walking slowly, her arms holding her books close to her chest, when she happened to catch sight of Paige heading towards her down the hallway. Emily froze; Paige hadn't seen her yet. She was walking with her head bowed, not looking where she was going.

Paige looked up quickly when some asshole hit her shoulder as they walked by, not even bothering to apologise. Paige shook her head with a frown, turning to face forward again and stopping dead in her tracks when she met Emily's gaze.

The frown disappeared, but her expression turned stony, void of emotion, sending a stabbing pain into Emily's chest; she couldn't bear it. She spun on her heels, walking away in the opposite direction, hoping that Paige would come after her but knowing that that was a delusion.

* * *

She ended up skipping second period altogether. She knew she was going to get a phone call home; she had now missed three classes since yesterday, and she couldn't see herself going to English today either. Having to sit beside Paige would be too hard.

She sat in her car during lunch, avoiding Paige and the possible questions Spencer and Aria might throw at them. She decided just to stay in her car for the duration of English too. Near the end of the period, her phone buzzed.

Her heart leapt into her throat as she picked it up, only for disappointment to sink in when she saw it was only a text from Hanna.

_Sending this to both of you to let you know you both missed lunch and english. This is dumb guys._

Emily let out a sharp, bitter laugh. Of course; Paige was going out of her way to avoid her too.

She quickly opened up a new message, hastily typing out a text to Paige.

_You can go to swim practice, I won't be there._

She threw her phone angrily onto the passenger seat as she turned her key in the ignition and started to drive; she had no destination; she just had to drive.

* * *

It was dark by the time she got home. She had drove all the way to Philly, wandered around for a while, and then finally drove back to Rosewood when she eventually answered her phone to have her dad yell at her to "Get home now!"

She entered her house, going straight to the stairs.

"Emily!" her mom shouted shrilly from the living room. "Come here." Emily ignored her. She just wanted to be alone. "Emily!"

Emily walked into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her more violently than she intended. She sighed, pulling off her scarf and jacket, slumping onto her bed. She groaned quietly when she heard footsteps approaching her door.

_Go away._

"Emily," her dad said, knocking the door before pushing it open and walking towards her, throwing his hands into the air. "What time do you call this? Going off to Philly on your own? Do you know how dangerous that is?" Emily just shrugged. "What's gotten into you? Skipping school and swim practice? You can't afford to be doing that; you know how important this year is to your future."

Emily clenched her jaw, showing that she wasn't going to reply. She didn't need a lecture; she knew her life was just a continuous string of mistakes right now. She didn't need her dad to tell her that. He sat down next to her. "Emmy, look at me." Emily stared pointedly at a spot on the bed. "Emmy." She eventually met her dad's eyes, blinking back tears. "Talk to me."

Emily swallowed, the truth almost spilling out of her. "Come on," her dad urged. "Something's bothering you; I can see it."

 She didn't know if it was the need to be honest or the need to rip off all the band-aids at once, but she decided to tell him, the need to be honest winning over the anxiety forming in her stomach. "I'm gay."

His mouth opened as if he had just been winded, blinking rapidly as if he couldn't believe what had just come out of her mouth; he turned away from her. Emily bowed her head, a tear falling onto her lap; she watched it seep into the material of her jeans as they sat in silence, the feeling of failure suddenly overtaking her.

"You're sure?" he finally said, his voice sounding hollow. He looked over his shoulder at her.

"I'm sure," she said firmly, not backing down from the statement even though she was now a disappointment to her dad; to everyone.

Another silence followed as he processed the information, before he stood up. Emily gulped; was that it? Was that all he was going to say?

"Okay," he said, turning to look at her.

"Okay?"

He gave her the slightest flicker of smile, before bending down to kiss the top of her head. Emily hadn't realised how rigid she had been sitting until all her muscles relaxed. "I admit this is a surprise, but you'll always be my little girl and I love you no matter what."

Emily hugged her dad tightly, smiling through her tears; he didn't hate her.

_He doesn't hate me._

They just held each other for a moment, Emily quietly saying, "Can you break it to Mom?" She was way more scared of how her mom was going to react.

"If that's what you want," he replied, pulling back from the hug.

"Thanks," she said. This would make this whole thing a little easier, not having to look into her mom's eyes as she realised that her daughter was no longer the ideal; no longer perfect. Her dad left, closing the door behind him.

Emily sat on her bed, her mind reeling, biting her lip nervously, knowing that her dad would be telling her mom right at this very moment.

She had done it; she had finally done it. She had no more secrets left to tell, and whatever happened now was out of her control. It was comforting, in a way.

She reached for her phone, ready to tell the person she loved most in the world that she had taken this huge step, only to pull her hand back quickly, her heart clenching painfully.


	16. Chapter 16

**_Emily_ **

She knew she should get out of bed and go for a run or swim - do _something_ \- before school, but she lacked the energy to move. She sighed, looking at her phone hopefully, closing her eyes and rolling onto her side when she saw there was no message from Paige waiting for her to open.

She knew it had only been around a day and a half since the incident in the bathroom, but it had felt like weeks; she couldn't stand not knowing where she stood with Paige; she would even take Paige yelling at her over this sickening silence.

She finally got out of bed once she was bordering on being late for school. If it was up to her she would have skipped again, but she felt like she owed it to her parents to make an effort to go.

She suddenly felt a spike of anxiety that had nothing to do with Paige shoot through her; she hadn't seen her mom since her dad had told her that she was gay. She had decided to stay in her room last night, giving her parents time to digest the information without pressure from her. She was curious to know what they had said between them on the subject, but at the same time she really didn't want to know.

She had no idea how her mom had reacted, but as she got dressed she began to worry that she'd taken it worse than anticipated. She could have come up to Emily's room last night to speak to her, but she hadn't.

She grabbed her bag from her desk chair, making her way downstairs nervously. Walking into the dining room, her dad looked up from his coffee, giving her a brief smile which made Emily calm slightly. At least she had _his_ support.

"Morning," she said tentatively, her eyes flitting to her mom who was staring down at her lap.

"Morning," her dad replied, standing up. "Breakfast?"

"Just toast please," she said almost shyly, placing a piece of hair behind her ear and heading to sit opposite her mom at the table. "Morning, Mom," she said gently, trying to get her to at least look at her.

She looked up quickly. "Morning." She gave a tight-lipped smile that didn't meet her eyes; Emily's heart sank.

"So, what do you think about take-out tonight?" her dad asked as he popped two slices of bread into the toaster. "We could maybe rent a movie; have a bit of family time?"

Emily forced a smile onto her face at his hopeful expression. He really was trying; Emily had to be grateful for that. "Sounds good, Dad." Although, to be honest, Emily wasn't sure that it did.

"I need to get started with the housework," her mom muttered, standing up and leaving the room, Emily watching her retreating form helplessly.

"Hey," her dad said quietly, walking over and rubbing her shoulder. "Just give her time. This has been a bit of a shock; she just needs time to process." He gave her a reassuring smile that didn't make Emily feel any better.

She could already tell that tonight was going to be _great._

* * *

**_Paige_ **

Most of her anger had disappeared; in its place was a hollow sadness; a longing for things to be right between her and Emily again.

She hadn't forgiven her, not yet; but she was feeling much more open to having a discussion about what had happened.

She walked into school, making her way to her locker, seeing that Emily was already at her own. It was like she sensed her coming; Emily looked in Paige's direction before quickly looking away, beginning to dig around in her locker in what Paige assumed was an effort to make herself look busy.

She headed directly towards her, fighting the urge to turn around and go back home and put this off for another day. "Hey," she said quietly, leaning against the lockers.

Emily turned her head sharply, looking surprised that Paige had actually spoken to her. "Hi," she said hesitantly, her demeanour immediately turning from sad to hopeful.

Paige stuffed her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket, shifting uncomfortably, not wanting to give Emily the false idea that everything was okay again.

They fell into a silence, Paige staring at her feet, trying to decide what to say. "So, I'm ready to talk."

"Okay," Emily said softly. Paige continued to stare at the floor. Emily cautiously put a hand on her arm. "Paige." She looked up slowly to meet Emily's gaze. "I'm so sorry." Paige knew it was the truth; she could see it on her face; in her eyes.

Paige cleared her throat and moved away, Emily's hand falling from her arm. "Later," she said past the lump in her throat. "After school." And with that, she walked off to her first class, trying to forget the crushed expression on Emily's face.

* * *

She didn't see Emily again until English; the period was spent with Paige trying to ignore Emily's not-so-subtle side-glances at her, finally cracking and looking back, only for Emily's eyes to flit away.

It was safe to say that Paige didn't take in a word of what Mr Fitz had said, which was unfortunate as it seemed to have been important; he was now handing them out pieces of paper with an assignment on it, Paige groaning under her breath when she saw it was worth 30% of their final grade.

Shit; she would just need to ask Spencer for help later if she needed it.

The bell rang. Paige slowly packed up her stuff, hoping that her friends would leave first so that she could skip out on having lunch with them like she had yesterday. Even if Emily had similar thoughts and ditched too, she was scared of what Spencer and Aria might say; they couldn't _not_ have noticed that something was up with her and Emily.

She looked around the almost empty classroom, her shoulders sagging in relief when she couldn't see any of them. She walked out of the class, turning the corner and almost banging into Hanna who had obviously been waiting on her.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"A walk," Paige grumbled as she tried to side-step her; Hanna moved with her, blocking the way past. Paige sighed, tilting her head to the side. "Get out of my way, Hanna."

"So, what? You're going to avoid sitting with us from now on? Ignoring the problem won't make it go away, Paige. You need to speak to Emily."

"I know!" she snapped back, still feeling weird that Hanna knew about this aspect of her life. "Not that it's _any_ of your business, but I've already arranged to speak with Emily after school, so back off." She knew a lot of people would have flinched at her harsh tone, but not Hanna.

"Good; maybe things can get back to normal then. I can't stand this." _Hanna_ couldn't stand it? How did she think Paige felt?

Paige stared Hanna down until she finally moved to the side to let her past. "Fine, I'll let you go, but you're sitting with us again starting Monday." Paige would do no such thing if she didn't want to. "There are only so many times I can tell Spencer and Aria that your sickness bug is playing up, especially if it only keeps coming on at lunch time."

Hanna gave her a brief smile before heading off to the cafeteria; Paige felt bad; she almost wanted to shout her back and thank her; Hanna had been nothing but supportive of her, and was now going out of her way to lie for her, yet here Paige was, treating her like shit.

She sighed.

She vowed to do better; to _be_ better.

* * *

The day's swim practice didn't go very well; she was too distracted about the looming conversation with Emily to pay much attention to what she was doing. Coach Fulton blew the whistle to signal the end of practice, shouting, "Paige! Emily! Come to my office please!"

Paige pulled off her swim cap and goggles, walking to Coach's office, knowing she was about to get a lecture for skipping two practices this week with no apparent reason. Although Emily had text her that she wasn't going to practice yesterday, it was the last thing Paige had felt like doing. She'd wanted to be alone.

She reached the office before Emily did, jumping slightly as their arms brushed when Emily came to stand beside her.

"So," Coach Fulton started. "I'm glad you both decided to show today, even if your performances weren't exactly stellar. What's going on?" She lifted her hands up, sitting back in her chair, looking at a loss as she waited for their explanation.

Paige decided to go with the sickness bug excuse. "I've really not been well the last couple of days, Coach. Sorry." She put her hand on her stomach for emphasis.

She felt Emily shift next to her. "Um, same." Paige almost gave Emily a scathing look; that sounded like a blatant lie, which made _her_ lie sound blatant.

Coach Fulton raised her eyebrows skeptically, but neither of them commented further. "Okay then," she said with a sigh. "I'm not sure if I believe that, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt- this time. Just remember that you two are the captains; you need to set a good example for your team mates. Keep that in mind. You may go." Paige walked with her head down as they left the office, feeling guilty that she had let Coach down, frustrated that this whole situation was now affecting every area of her life.

The rest of the team had already showered and were getting dressed by the time they entered the locker room, meaning it was just the two of them in the showers. They stood at opposite ends, Paige making sure she faced the wall the whole time, rinsing her hair as quickly as possible.

She walked to her locker, toweling off so hastily that her skin wasn't dry properly by the time she was throwing on her clothes, her t-shirt sticking uncomfortably to her skin. She could sense Emily getting dressed a few lockers over; she had to get out.

Without giving Emily a glance, she swung her bag over her shoulder and marched into the hallway, leaning against a wall and taking in a deep breath. She had the urge to leave the school altogether, and before she knew it she was out in the parking lot, ready to unchain her bike and cycle home.

She closed her eyes, taking a moment to think.

No. She couldn't run away from this. She had to speak to her.

She spotted Emily's car, heading towards it and leaning against the hood. She must have been standing there for at least ten minutes before she saw Emily exiting the school, who froze on the spot when she saw Paige waiting on her.

After a moment, she began to move again, Paige getting more anxious the closer she got.

"I thought you'd bailed on me," Emily said, coming to a stop in front of her. All Paige could do was shrug, not telling her that she almost had. Emily cleared her throat nervously. "So, where do you want to talk? We could just sit in my car? Or I could drive us somewhere-"

"Actually, how about a walk?" Paige couldn't bear being in an enclosed space with Emily right now; it was too much. Also, the fresh air helped to keep her head clear; helped to keep her calm.

"Okay," Emily replied unsurely. "Whatever you want." She walked around her, opening the trunk of the car and placing her bag inside it. She held her hand out, obviously signalling for Paige to hand her own bag over.

Paige sighed, walking over and giving Emily the bag, trying to ignore the way Emily's hand brushed hers; trying to ignore how she ached to hold it, even after everything.

Emily closed the trunk with a thud, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets. "Ready?"

Paige nodded.

* * *

They ended up walking on the nature trail that took them through the woods of Rosewood. They didn't talk, Paige lost in thought, Emily seemingly giving her time to think.

Paige sat down on a bench situated beside the dirt path about ten minutes into the woods, the area totally deserted; Emily sat beside her. There was another silence before Emily quietly said, "Did you get my voicemail?"

Paige almost laughed; she had listened to that message so many times that she could probably recite it off by heart. "Yeah."

"So you know why I did what I did?" Emily paused. "I thought it would be best if I kept it from you- you know, because of your anxiety?" Emily shifted uncomfortably, Paige looking away.

"That doesn't make it right," she stated, closing her eyes and taking in a breath.

"I know," Emily said sadly. "Trust me; I know." After a brief pause, she said, "Did you honestly think I would _tell_ Hanna about us?" She sounded hurt.

Paige shrugged. "Honestly? I didn't know what to think; nothing made sense that day."

"I would never deliberately betray you, Paige. You have to know that." Deep down, she did know. No matter what thoughts had crossed her mind the past few days, she knew she could trust Emily with her life.

"Does anyone else know?" she asked, changing the subject. That day Spencer was giving her weird looks flashed into her head.

"No; of course not," Emily replied quickly. "Not that I know of, anyway."

Paige nodded slowly. "Okay." This was good; their secret was still safe for now. But if Hanna could figure it out, then that meant other people could too. They would need to be more careful.

"Paige." Emily slowly placed her hand on her shoulder. "Please look at me." Paige continued to stare at the ground, her eyes closing slowly when Emily's cool hand slipped to the back of her neck. Paige could feel all the anxiety draining away as Emily's fingers traced softly over her skin, toying with the hair at the nape of her neck. Paige turned her head towards her but kept her eyes closed.

She felt Emily getting closer, resting their foreheads together. "Paige, please forgive me," she whispered. She sounded broken; desperate.

Paige felt the last of the fight leave her. She pulled Emily into a hug, feeling Emily sigh into her, her body relaxing. Paige breathed her in, never wanting to let go of her again.

Emily pulled back slightly, cupping her cheek and kissing her gently. "Promise you won't lie to me ever again," Paige said quietly against Emily's lips. "I don't care how bad it is; just, don't lie."

"I won't, I promise," Emily murmured, hugging her again, Paige feeling the most at ease she had been since everything had gone wrong. She sighed, burying her nose into Emily's hair.

After a minute or two, she heard Emily mumble, "There's something that I think you should be the first to know." Paige stilled as Emily pulled back, the moment of calmness evaporating.  God, what was it now?

Emily took her hand, looking nervous again; Paige's heart sped up. "Last night- I didn't plan it, it just happened- but, I was talking to my dad and-" She took a breath. "I ended up coming out to him."

It took a moment for Paige to process the information; she sat back on the bench, her hand going slack in Emily's.

Things were snowballing out of control; just as she thought she was getting onto a level ground with Emily, she pulled the rug out from under her, jumping ahead of her again; Paige was stuck, and Emily was moving further and further away from her; she would never be able to catch up.

"Congratulations," she said, her voice toneless, running a hand over her face.

Emily squeezed her hand. "Hey, this doesn't have to affect us."

Paige snorted bitterly. "Are you serious? Of course it does." Paige suddenly became irritated. "You could have at least talked to me about this before you went ahead and-" A frustrated noise escaped her throat; just as things were getting back on track…

Emily frowned, letting go of her hand. "I just told you that I didn't plan it; it just happened. The timing felt right." Paige didn't think the timing could have been worse. After her lack of response, Emily exhaled heavily. "You ask me to be honest with you, yet you go in a mood when I am. I can't win." Emily stood up, pacing around in front of the bench, looking at the ground as she scuffed her boot into the dirt.

Paige continued to sit, thinking about what this meant for them. It would be more challenging, but they could still work; they could. She shook her head with a sigh, trying to clear all negativity from her mind. "You're right; I'm sorry."

Emily looked up from the ground at her. She didn't smile, but she at least sat back down beside her. Paige took her hand to add to her apology. "How did your dad take it then?"

"Pretty well, actually," Emily said, a slight smile on her lips.

 _Of course_ , Paige thought. _Of course Emily's dad would have taken it well; Emily and her perfect family._ "What about your mom?"

Paige felt Emily's shoulders slump. "My mom- well, let's just say that she doesn't seem _quite_ as accepting. I asked my dad to tell her, but going by the way she acted this morning I think she's going to pretend that it never happened." Paige put her arm around Emily, feeling guilty for the comments that had just passed through her head.

"At least that's it done though; it's such a- I don't know- relief, I guess. That doesn't even feel like a strong enough word." Emily sighed. "You'll know what I mean once you tell your parents."

Paige's thumb stilled where it had been absent-mindedly stroking Emily's shoulder. "What do you mean? Who says I'm telling my parents?" Why was Emily saying that?

Emily exhaled sharply in an almost-laugh, shifting on the bench so she could look straight at her, gripping Paige's hand that fell from around her shoulder. "Paige, I don't mean right now obviously, but you do realise you'll have to tell them at _some_ point, don't you?" Emily creased her eyebrows together in a worried expression.

"I can't," Paige snapped automatically, not wanting or willing to process the thought.

"Yes, you can. I know it doesn't feel that way right now, but trust me; you _will_ get to that stage." Emily smiled encouragingly. "I remember when-"

"God, you're so naive," Paige stated, cutting her off. She didn't want to hear an 'it-gets-better' speech right now.

**_Emily_ **

Emily frowned, anger flaring up inside her. Paige had some nerve to call _her_ that; Emily wasn't the one living in some fantasy world where they could be in a relationship and no one would ever notice. "No, _you're_ naive if you think you can hide forever; one day you're going to have to accept that; accept that you're not your parent's idea of perfect; your _dad's_ idea of perfect." Paige had looked away from her; Emily knew she didn't want to hear what she was saying, but she needed to. She latched onto the subject of her dad, figuring that that was where most of Paige's anxiety had to be stemming from.

"I don't understand why he has such a hold over you, but he does, and it's affecting you in a serious way. He pushes you way too hard; has these expectations that you can't possibly meet _every_ time. And that's okay, Paige; you don't have to. I just wish you would realise that." She sucked in a deep, calming breath; she had been holding these words in for a while.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Paige muttered under her breath. Emily knew she had hit a nerve.

 She turned Paige's head to look at her, her heart breaking at the deep sadness she found in her tear-brimmed eyes. "Look, I know it's hard, but you will have to tell him- and your mom- at some point, or you'll end up being too scared to live your life properly." Emily couldn't stand the thought of Paige having to struggle with this for years to come; she deserved more. She deserved to be happy.

Paige closed her eyes, the tears spilling down her cheeks. "Not everyone's as brave as you, Emily," Paige whispered.

Emily was taken aback; she didn't think of herself as brave. If she was brave she wouldn't have kept all of these thoughts that were now pouring out of her from Paige in the first place; she wouldn't have kept Hanna knowing about their relationship from Paige; maybe this whole situation would have been better if Emily had been just a little bit brave.

"I'm not brave, Paige." She swiped her thumb over one of Paige's tears, smearing it sideways. "I'm just tired. Aren't you?"

Paige opened her eyes, Emily holding her breath. She saw a flicker of something cross her face; Emily's heart jumped into her throat.

She'd gotten through to Paige; Paige understood what she was saying.

Paige opened her mouth. "I can't, I'm sorry."

And just like that, her world came crashing down. Emily let go of Paige's face, sitting back numbly against the bench. She couldn't continue in this cycle anymore; couldn't handle this kind of drama every time something didn't go to Paige's plan. Someone else would find out about them; she didn't know who or when, but they would; it was inevitable. And so would be Paige's explosive reaction if she refused to budge on her current mind-set. It wasn't healthy, for either of them.

With that brief glimpse into their future, Emily swallowed; she knew what she had to do. "I can't do this anymore," she whispered into her lap, hating the words as they left her mouth. "I thought I could, but I can't. It's too hard."

She could feel Paige staring at her. After a moment, she said, "Wait, what?"

Emily sniffed, trying to stop herself from breaking down, looking resolutely back up at Paige. "I can't do this anymore," she repeated in a firmer tone, Paige's eyes going wide as she realised what she meant. Emily had to force herself continue. "This isn't good for either of us. It's not working."

"Wait, Em, no-"

Emily started shaking her head as the tears started to fall. "It's the only way; I don't know what else to do." She couldn't believe how ten minutes ago she was melting into Paige in relief of being forgiven, and now here she was, breaking up with her. Her heart couldn't take this many ups and downs.

Paige reached out to grab her hand. "You're not serious; you can't be." She stared at Emily, as if waiting for her to suddenly laugh and say 'kidding!'

Paige took in a big gasp of air when it sunk in that this wasn't some cruel joke; that Emily was 100% serious. "Emily," she said desperately, "No. We can't-" She groaned in frustration. "No. I'll be better, I swear."

Emily shook her head again, knowing that Paige was just saying that; Emily wasn't sure if even _Paige_ was aware of how deep her issues ran. She knew that Paige would want to be even more secretive now that Hanna knew; now that Emily was out; Emily knew how her mind worked. Emily couldn't go backwards; not anymore.

She clasped Paige's hand between her own. "I'll always be here for you, but it has to be as a friend, nothing more." Emily was full on crying now, hot tears rolling down her face. She had no idea how successful she would be at going back to just being friends with Paige after everything that had happened between them, but she would have to try.

She stood up, unable to look at Paige's shocked, wounded expression anymore. Paige didn't let go of her hand though, standing up with her and spinning her around to face her again. "Please don't do this," Paige pleaded through her own tears, her hands coming up to rest on Emily's neck. "I love you."

Emily choked back a sob, gripping the back of Paige's neck and kissing her with everything she had, Paige clinging onto her tightly. She squeezed her eyes shut even tighter at the realisation that this could very well be their last kiss.

She finally pulled away, murmuring "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She gave a final peck to Paige's lips before stepping back from her, taking a heaving breath as she turned and began to slowly walk away. She stopped when she didn't hear Paige following her. She looked over her shoulder to see that Paige hadn't moved. She was standing staring at the ground with unfocused eyes, the tears pouring down her face. Emily walked back to her. "Paige, come on, we need to get back," she said through a blocked nose, reaching out to touch Paige's shoulder.

Paige jerked away, wrapping her arms around herself and beginning to move, Emily's hand falling to her side limply. She walked a little behind Paige all the way back to the school parking lot, finding it hard not to go back on her decision as she listened to Paige's sobs. They had gotten so bad that Emily could hear her having trouble breathing, her body taking short gasps of air in quick succession before the next sob could escape.

It almost killed her.

 _It's for the best_ , she repeated over and over in her head. Paige had to deal with her issues before they could be together; they wouldn't- _couldn't_ \- work out otherwise. Maybe Paige would finally start to see that.

And Emily would wait for her; she would always wait for her. But she didn't want to tell Paige that; Paige had to come out for the right reasons, had to come out for herself, not Emily.

Once they reached her car, she pulled Paige's bag out of the trunk, handing it to her. Paige took it, not looking at her. "Do you want a ride home?" Emily asked quietly. After a few seconds, Paige just started to walk away, heading in the direction of the bike stands, Emily watching hopelessly.

* * *

She sat outside in her car, trying to pull herself together before she had to spend the evening with her parents. It was the last thing she felt like doing; all she wanted to do was switch the ignition back on, drive to Paige's house and apologise; tell her that she takes back what she said, that she didn't mean any of it and they could work out their issues later.

She reached for her keys, ready to do just that, before she slammed her hand into the steering wheel in anger, knowing that she couldn't.

She got out of the car quickly, walking into her house to find her mom sitting on the sofa. She looked around. "Where's Dad?"

"Out getting dinner," her mom answered. Emily couldn't help but notice that she still wasn't meeting her gaze.

Emily sighed, sitting down in the armchair, wanting to speak to her mom but not sure how. "Look, Mom," she started. "I know this is a lot to take in, but-"

"Where did we go wrong?" she said quietly. "I don't understand. I thought you understood our family values."

Emily gulped. What did that even mean? "Mom, it's not like that," she said gently, trying not to take her mom's attitude personally.

"How can we fix it?" She seemed to be speaking to herself rather than Emily. "Is there someone making you this way?" She looked up at Emily sharply.

"What? No, listen; this is who I am. You can't 'fix' it." Emily sat forward in her seat, willing her mom to understand.

"I thought we taught you what was right and wrong? And this is _wrong_ , Emily. Surely you can see that?"

Emily froze. She had expected it to be hard for her mom to process, but she couldn't deal with this level of ignorance today; not after what had happened between her and Paige. She stood up. "Tell Dad I'm sorry but I'm not really feeling up to 'family night'," she said as calmly as possible, turning and heading upstairs, closing her bedroom door, leaving the lights off and falling onto her bed fully clothed.

This had to be, without a doubt, the worst day of her life.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

She couldn't believe this was how the day had turned out. It had started with Emily waiting for her to talk to her; to forgive her. And now- now, Emily had ended things between them; just like that; over. She was still in shock.

"Paige?" her dad snapped.

She looked over, seeing him frowning at her from the other couch.

"That's the third time I've said your name; get your head out of the clouds. I asked if you apologised to Coach Fulton for missing practice _twice_ this week."

Paige didn't know how he found out about her missing yesterday's practice as well as Wednesday's, but he had; she had been given an earful yesterday afternoon because of it. "Yeah," she replied, looking mindlessly back at the TV; she didn't even know what she was watching. She had gone straight to her room when she had gotten home, but had swiftly exited it again; there were too many memories of Emily in there that she couldn't bear to think about.

"And? What did she say?" her dad probed.

"Not much," Paige shrugged, not looking at him. Her phone buzzed on the arm of the couch. She reached for it quickly, which was obviously the wrong move. Her dad stood up and marched over to her, snatching the phone angrily from her hands. Paige reached for it desperately, scared he was going to read whatever message had come through.

"I don't like this attitude of yours," he stated sternly. "This is not the year to be messing around. You won't miss another practice from now on. Do you hear me?"

Paige gulped, keeping an eye on her phone in his hand; she was willing to wrestle it from him if she had to. "Yeah," she said quietly, trying not to convey how panicked she felt.

"What was that?"

"Yes!" she said, louder, looking into her dad's eyes. "I won't miss any more practices." They stared at each other for a moment, before her dad finally dropped her phone into her lap and walked back over to his seat, Paige giving an internal sigh of relief.

She stood up, walking out of the living room, not wanting to spend another second with him.

Emily was right; she knew she was. She thought too much about what her dad thought; wanted to make him proud; not wanting to be a disappointment. She wished she didn't feel the need for his approval, but the fact was, she did.

She entered her bedroom, took one look at the bed and realised she would rather sit on the floor, leaning back against her closed door.

She opened the text she had received.

_Hey, how did your talk with Em go? Please tell me things are back to normal?_

Without thinking, Paige began to type back a reply to Hanna.

_She broke up with me._

She stared at the words until they started to swirl in front of her. She hit the send button, sliding her phone along the floor to the other side of the room, closing her eyes, lying down and curling up in a ball, hugging her knees against her chest as the tears started to flow again.

* * *

The weekend was awful. She spent as much of it as possible alone, ignoring texts from Hanna, Spencer and Aria, even the mundane ones; it was obvious that Spencer and Aria literally had no idea that her life was falling apart.

In her weaker moments, Paige would send a pleading text to Emily, or leave a rambling voicemail message when Emily wouldn't answer her phone- all to no response.

She finally got a reply on Sunday night.

_Paige, please stop trying to change my mind. This is hard enough as it is._

Paige gritted her teeth, determination building inside her. No. No- she wouldn't just give up. She would make Emily see that things didn't have to be this way; would make her see that they could still work.

It was the only option.

* * *

She walked into school on Monday with only one thought in her head: get Emily back. She had to at least try.

She waited in the hallway, pretending to be sorting through books in her locker so that she didn't look like a total weirdo standing watching Emily's locker which was opposite her own.

She had to wait almost ten minutes before she saw Emily, her heart sinking when she saw that she was accompanied by Spencer. Emily caught her eye, quickly looking down at the floor as she continued down the hallway.

Emily went straight to her locker while Spencer came over to speak to her. "Hey, didn't you get my texts?" She gave a small pout.

"No, sorry. My phone's been acting up all weekend," she lied.

"Oh, okay. I was beginning to wonder if something was wrong?" Spencer questioned.

 _Yes, everything._ "What? No, I'm fine." Paige made sure to smile, her face feeling like it was going to crack at the effort. Spencer seemed to buy it though, moving off to her own locker.

Paige had a quick look around; the hallway wasn't too busy; Spencer was out of earshot. She felt like she could squeeze in a quick word with Emily. For the sake of her sanity, she really couldn't wait a moment longer.

"Em," she said. Emily stared adamantly inside her open locker. "Emily," Paige repeated, impatient.

"What?" Emily said firmly, finally looking at her, an irritated expression on her face that failed to conceal the dark circles under her eyes; apparently Paige wasn't the only one who hadn't been sleeping well.

"It doesn't have to be like this. We can still be together, please give me another chance and I'll show you," she begged quietly, bouncing forward on her toes slightly in her desperation. "Please."

Emily looked down sadly. "It's not going to work; not like this. We're in different places, mentally. And unless we both want the same things, it's just going to cause more drama, more hurt. I can't keep seeing you hurting, Paige. It might not seem this way now, but this is better for you in the long run, I know it."

Paige groaned, frustrated. "Emily, you're doing it again. You don't get to decide what's best for me. I'm telling you, this- _us_ \- is what I want." _What I need_.

Emily looked up at her; she was reconsidering, Paige could sense it. There was silence as Emily thought. Paige's heart beat quickened in anticipation of her answer. _Come on…_

Emily's shoulders slumped, sighing in defeat. _Yes._

Emily took her hand in hers, ready to speak but getting cut off because Paige's arm had jerked back, pulling her hand away from Emily.

_No. NO._

Emily's face hardened.

Paige started shaking her head, unable to comprehend why she had just done that.

"See?" Emily said angrily as she went back to rooting around in her locker, grabbing a book and slamming the door closed. "Never going to work." And with that she marched away; away from Paige; away from _them_.


	17. Chapter 17

**_Emily_ **

She hadn't even meant to reach for Paige's hand; it had been automatic, second nature. But she was glad that she had; Paige had pulled her hand away and it had highlighted her point perfectly.

She was now 100% sure she had made the right decision by ending things. She'd almost caved; _almost_ , which wouldn't have been helpful to either of them. After all, nothing had changed. If they'd gotten back together, Emily felt like she would be constantly on edge, waiting for the next disaster to happen.

It broke her heart, but this was the way it had to be for now. It would be worth it.

She hoped.

Hanna wasn't so sure though; she told Emily as much as they walked to lunch. "What are you doing, Em? I thought you were desperate for Paige to speak to you again, and then when she finally does, you break up with her? That doesn't make any sense."

Emily had been avoiding her calls all weekend, so she'd been expecting that Hanna would have something to say on the issue. "Look, I don't know what Paige told you-"

"She literally told me you broke up with her and nothing else; neither of you would answer your phones!"

Emily grabbed Hanna's wrist, pulling her to the side out of the way of the traffic of the hallway.  "Okay, Hanna; this is going to be all for nothing if you end up outing Paige because you can't keep your damn voice down," Emily hissed.

Hanna sighed. "I'm sorry, I just don't understand. You guys were meant to make up and go back to being all cute and _together_ \- not this." She frowned.

Emily slumped against the wall as the reality of what she had lost hit her again. She couldn't imagine that she would be sharing any 'cute' moments with Paige any time soon. "Look, it's the only way I could think of to try and get through to her; she needs to realise we can't stay a secret forever, and she needs space to work that out. Us being together- she ends up just ignoring the problem." _And so do I_ , she noted. It was just easier. But she was done taking the easy route. Things had to change. "This way, she'll need to accept that there _is_ a problem."

Hanna bit her lip in thought. "Okay… and what happens if this just completely destroys her? What then?"

"I can't think like that, Hanna! And quit acting like this isn't killing me too; I think I've probably had about ten hours sleep since Friday." She ran her hand through her hair, trying to stop herself from crying in frustration.

"Okay, I'm sorry," Hanna said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "You know better than I do. If you say that this will help her, then I'm sure it will." She gave her an apologetic smile. "So, what does that mean for you guys now?"

Emily shrugged, honestly not sure how things would play out from here. "Well, I said I'd be there for her as a friend, so hopefully we'll at least be able to be that- for now." They kind of had to be for the sake of Spencer and Aria not figuring out Paige's secret. "I'll just need to try and be patient and wait for her to come around- which she will- eventually." Emily had to convince herself of that fact; had to believe it. It was the only hope she had left.

Hanna nodded past her. Emily turned to see Paige heading into the cafeteria; she felt her stomach lurch. She breathed in, preparing herself. Preparing herself for possibly the biggest test of willpower she'd ever endured.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

She had blown her chances this morning. She had been so close to having Emily back and she'd totally _blown_ it; all over a touching of their hands. She was so angry with herself. Her stupid paranoia had taken over her body and ruined things once again.

"Why are you frowning?"

Paige snapped out of her thoughts, looking across the lunch table to find Aria staring at her curiously. "Uh, headache," she explained, looking down at the food in front of her, not feeling hungry.

"You should probably go to the doctor," Spencer interjected, concerned. Paige knew she was referring to the number of times she had been 'unwell' recently. She shifted awkwardly.

Suddenly Emily and Hanna were heading towards them. Paige tensed in her seat as she tried to catch Emily's gaze. Their eyes finally connected, neither of them looking away. Emily gave her a small smile, which Paige returned. Okay, so at least Emily wasn't still angry with her for pulling away; that was something.

But, Paige noticed, Emily's pace quickened slightly so that she could sit next to Aria, leaving Hanna to sit beside her. Paige averted her eyes.

She knew that it was childish to feel this rejected over Emily sitting beside Aria and not her, but Emily always sat beside her when she could. The flicker of hope that Emily's smile had ignited vanished instantly, replaced by the hollow sick feeling she'd had all weekend.

Maybe Emily really was serious about this? Paige swallowed hard, her heart racing as the thought of a life without Emily flashed into her head.

 _NO_. She would come around eventually, Paige was sure of it. She would just need to keep trying.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

It was Wednesday. She was on her way to her car after swim practice when she heard Paige shouting after her.

"Em, wait up!" She turned to see Paige jogging towards her across the parking lot. She sighed, wondering if this was going to be another attempt to make her change her mind. Paige thankfully hadn't mentioned it again since Monday, but maybe that was because she hadn't really spoken to her at all. She had seemed to be drifting through the past two days, lost in her own head, which Emily viewed as a good thing; it meant she was at least thinking, hopefully about the fact that she would have to come out one day.

Paige stopped breathlessly in front of her. "Hey," she smiled.

"Hi," Emily said hesitantly, having no idea where this was going.

"So, run tomorrow morning? I don't know about you, but I've been kind of slacking with training recently-"

"Paige," Emily sighed. "I'm not sure that's a good idea." It's not that she didn't want to spend time with her; she did. But she wasn't sure if she could trust herself to be alone with Paige. And she didn't really trust Paige not to try anything either. She wouldn't be surprised if this was just a guise to get her by herself so that Paige could start round two of trying to convince her that she'd made a mistake.

Paige's smile disappeared. "Why not?"

Emily gave a slight roll of her eyes. "You know why."

"Didn't you say that we could still be friends?" Paige huffed, raising her eyebrows expectantly. "It's just a run, Emily." Paige's wide, hopeful eyes held hers so steadily it was as if she thought Emily would say no the moment they broke contact.

Going against her better judgement, Emily sighed, giving her a slight smile. "Okay."

Paige's whole face lit up.

* * *

Paige was already waiting for her when she stepped out the door the next morning. She gave Emily a tentative smile as she approached her. Scared that Paige was going to start some sort of speech, all Emily said was, "Ready?" before starting to jog off, hearing Paige follow her after a moment's delay.

Paige caught up to her. They ran alongside each other, their arms brushing so many times in five minutes that Emily began to wonder if Paige was doing it on purpose. She forced herself to widen the distance between them, staring determinedly ahead, not only trying to ignore Paige, but also one of their favourite make-out spots as they ran past. It was a small secluded alcove on the outskirts of a wooded area that they always stopped at when out on a run. It was usually their way of properly saying good morning to each other.

She was taken aback by how much running by it affected her; she lost control of her breathing, eventually having to slow down as a stitch developed.

"You okay?" Paige asked, slowing down with her as she clutched her side in pain.

"Yeah," Emily gasped. "Just a stitch." She bent forward slightly, massaging her side with her fingers, embarrassed that she had let her breathing become that erratic.

"Here, stand up straight," Paige said, putting a hand on her back. Emily did as she was told, goosebumps spreading over her body when Paige moved Emily's fingers from her side and replaced them with her own.

"What are you doing?" Emily groaned, looking around them and seeing that there wasn't another person in sight. This was exactly what she had been afraid of. She was unable to stop her eyes from closing as Paige's fingers began to dig firmly into her skin to relieve some of the pain. She had missed Paige's touch; god, had she missed Paige's touch. She was embarrassed to think about it, but she'd already had to relieve herself from sexual frustration _twice_ since they had broken up.

"Take in a deep breath through your nose and hold it," Paige said quietly as her fingers worked. Emily took the advice, the information sounding vaguely familiar at the back of her head; it had been so long since she'd had a stitch that she'd forgotten.

She opened her eyes as she held her breath to find Paige watching her intently. Emily hadn't realised how close their faces had become. She saw Paige's throat work as she swallowed. "Okay, now breathe out quickly through your nose." Emily exhaled. "Now do it again." Emily repeated the action several times, feeling the pain lessening.

Paige's hand was now lighter on her side, her thumb stroking gently back and forth, Emily hyperaware of the movement through the thin material of her shirt. She saw Paige's gaze flit to her mouth and knew what was about to happen, knew she should move, but she couldn't.

She stood rooted to the spot as Paige leaned in, brushing their lips together. Her mouth responded without her permission, her body gravitating instantly towards Paige.

Paige's hand moved from her side around to her back, her other hand trailing softly up Emily's bare arm, Emily's own hands gripping Paige's waist tightly. Paige's hand moved up to Emily's neck as she deepened the kiss, her tongue meeting Emily's.

Emily sighed, trying to pull Paige closer, tugging her hips into her own. This seemed to ignite the spark between them; they began to kiss harder, faster, Paige starting to walk Emily backwards in the direction of a tree.

_Wait- no. No. This can't happen._

Emily pulled away so suddenly that Paige almost fell forwards onto the ground. She gasped, feeling ashamed that she had given in. She had managed to go a whole five days without kissing Paige - pathetic.

"Em," Paige started.

"That shouldn't have happened," Emily stated, tears forming in her eyes as she turned to look at Paige. She was meant to be keeping her distance for Paige's sake; _their_ sake. She was infuriated with herself. She had to be stronger than this.

"But-"

"No! That's it, Paige. We obviously can't even be alone together; I think we'll need to train separately from now on. I'm sorry." She began to walk away, but Paige ended up by her side again, matching every step.

"Emily, you want this as much as I do; I know it."

"That's beside the point," Emily said through gritted teeth. She felt like they kept having the same conversation over and over again. "Did you not hear a word I said in the woods? Or at my locker?"

"I did, but-"

"Then get it into your head; we're not together anymore!" Emily stopped in her tracks, making sure to look Paige straight in the eyes as she said the words. "We're done, and we're not having this conversation again. Got it?"

Emily knew she was being harsh, but the kiss they had just shared would have furthered Paige's belief that they could get back together without anything changing and she had to make clear that that wasn't going to happen. She didn't want Paige to focus on getting her back; she wanted Paige to focus on _why_ they weren't together. All she wanted was for Paige to tell her that she knew she had to come out, and would start to think about telling their friends; her parents. That's all Emily needed Paige to do; just at least start _thinking_ about it and get rid of her delusions about never having to come out.

Paige finally looked away, but not before Emily saw all that hope drain away from her face. Emily's chest ached, wanting to hug her but knowing that would just send more mixed messages. "Got it," she said so quietly that Emily almost didn't hear her.

Paige turned, starting to walk away, Emily watching as it turned into a jog. Once Paige was out of sight, Emily turned back the way they had come, walking slowly to her house, swiping angrily at the tears on her face.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

She hadn't intended on kissing her. Her suggestion to go a run had purely been so that she could spend a bit of time with Emily, even on a friendship level.

Okay, so maybe she'd hoped they could have had another talk; she would have apologised for pulling her hand away, told Emily that she would seriously try to work on being better, and Emily would have shook her head saying it wouldn't work but Paige would have taken her face in her hands and promised her it would and they would have kissed gently and everything would be okay again.

For one glorious moment she'd had Emily in her arms again. One glorious moment before Emily had pulled away from her and made it perfectly clear that things were over; her eyes had looked almost _mean_ as she'd said the words, sending a stabbing pain directly into Paige's heart.

She wanted Emily. Emily wanted her; that kiss just proved it. Why wasn't that enough?

* * *

The next few weeks passed slowly and painfully. Her contact with Emily had been reduced to mundane small talk at the lunch table; a brief catching of eyes in English; awkward meetings during a run or in the locker room.

It wasn't right. There had _never_ been this much distance between them in the entire time they had known one another; never. Paige didn't know how to cope with it.

She was praying that the space would make Emily realise that this wasn't how things were supposed to be, but as the days went on, any last remains of hope that she'd had slowly seeped away. Emily was showing no signs of changing her mind.

Emily had taken up a job at the Rear Window Brew. She'd told them it had been a spur of the moment thing, that it wouldn't hurt to start earning some of her own money, but Paige knew it was more than that. She knew Emily better than she knew herself and could sense that this was nothing short of a distraction, most likely from the fact that things were uptight at home. With her dad gone, there was no buffer between Emily and her mom. Paige only knew what she told them at lunch so she wasn't exactly sure how bad things were, but she no longer felt like it was her place to ask, no longer her place to comfort her.

And she hated it; she hated that feeling.

A part of her hoped that Emily taking up the job was also a distraction to fill up the time that they used to spend together, but she honestly didn't know. Emily was no longer giving her any indication that she missed her, and it killed Paige a little more every day.

She was done pleading with her. She'd run out of moves. All she could do now was wait.

* * *

The day of their next swim meet had arrived. This time it was being held in West Chester. Paige made sure to grab a seat near the front of the bus where it would be quieter, putting her bag on the adjacent seat instead of the overhead luggage compartment. She wanted to be left alone.

She saw Emily stepping onto the bus through the window. She made sure to keep her gaze fixed outside as she saw Emily walking up the aisle from the corner of her eye, sensing her hesitation as she drew level with her seat. Paige continued to stare out of the window. She heard Emily give a brief sigh before she moved further up the bus, Paige releasing a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed that Emily hadn't sat beside her.

She tried to stay focused on the meet ahead, but her thoughts kept drifting back to Emily, as always. She remembered the last time they had been on a bus, coming home from the meet in Philly. A smile ghosted over her lips as she remembered Emily falling asleep, having to pull her head onto her shoulder to stop her head swaying in every direction; remembering the swell of pride she'd felt at the action.

It seemed like a lifetime ago now.

Paige pulled her iPod from her bag, quickly stuffing in her earbuds and blasting her music. She rested her head against the cold window, closing her eyes and wishing the day was already over.

* * *

She knew that the meet wasn't going to go well as soon as she saw her dad sitting in the crowd. He hadn't told her he was coming and it completely threw her.

She lost her solo race. Her dive off the platform was poor; her flip turn was even poorer. The whole race was just a mess.

Coach came up to her as she exited the pool. "Paige, what's going on? Your form was completely off."

"I know," she replied, her tone even. "Sorry, I'll do better in the relay." She tried to move off to the bench to get her towel, but Coach Fulton put a hand on her arm.

"Is everything alright? You don't seem like yourself." Paige looked away from her probing gaze. "If you're not feeling up to it, I can get someone else to start the relay."

Paige's head snapped up. "No!" She swallowed, trying to control the volume of her voice. "I mean, no, I can do it, Coach." Her dad was here; she couldn't get pulled from the race. That would be even worse than losing.

"Okay, if you're sure." Paige nodded. Coach Fulton gave her an almost sympathetic smile which irritated Paige more than anything.

God, she needed to relax. She grabbed her towel, running it roughly over her face before quickly throwing on her swimming jacket and sitting down to watch the next race about to begin. The rest of the team seemed to sense her frustration, not daring to say anything to her.

Apart from Emily, that was. Paige saw her stand up from further down the bench and make her way towards her. Emily had already won her race, obviously.

She sat down beside her. "Hey." Paige stared blankly ahead, watching the race but not really watching. "Did you know that your dad was coming today?" Paige glanced into the stands, seeing him talking to some guy she didn't know. She shook her head, looking back to the pool. "Just remember you're swimming for yourself; forget he's there," Emily said quietly. "Don't let him get to you." Paige turned to look at Emily who gave her a small smile.

How did Emily know exactly what she needed to hear?

She gave a quick smile back, saying, "Okay." She shook her head, exhaling. She could do this.

There were a few more races to go before the relay. Emily's presence by her side helped her to maintain the level of confidence her words had given her, and by the time they were standing up for the relay she was ready to go. She didn't even spare a glance into the crowd as she took to the platform, pulling her goggles down.

She was in and out of the water before she knew it, feeling much better about her performance, looking to Coach and seeing her give a thumbs up. She smiled, turning her head to search for Emily, spotting her grinning at her from the side of the platform where she was getting prepared for her own leg of the relay. She sighed, allowing herself to be happy for a moment.

She sat down on the bench, making the mistake of looking into the crowd to see her dad. He didn't look remotely happy.

Her shoulders slumped.

* * *

They won the relay, but lost the meet to Oakwood by a couple of points because Paige wasn't the only one who'd had a bad solo race on the team. Still, she couldn't help but think it was her fault they'd lost. If only she'd performed better to begin with…

Her dad came down to speak to her before she could escape to the locker room. He threw his hands out to the side as he got closer. "What happened out there? That was awful."

"I know, I'm sorry." She looked around quickly, trying to hold off this conversation until they got home. She didn't want the whole team to hear.

"You know I managed to get a scout from UConn here especially to see you? And for him to see that- well, I'm embarrassed to say the least." Paige felt her face flush. She closed her eyes briefly, wishing she could teleport anywhere but here. "You looked like an amateur."

"With all due respect, Mr McCullers-" Paige looked up from the spot she had been staring at on the floor at the sound of Emily's voice, seeing her coming towards them, but thankfully she was interrupted by Coach Fulton. Paige didn't want Emily getting into an argument with her dad; that would just be too weird.

"Girls! Make your way to the locker room please. Our bus leaves in half an hour." Paige met Emily's eyes. They looked angry, but it wasn't at her. It was on her behalf. Emily sighed in defeat, turning and heading to the locker room with the rest of the girls.

Paige stayed where she was before Coach turned to her, saying, "Paige, go get changed. I'm going to have a quick word with your dad." Paige's eyes flicked up to meet her dad's. His mouth was tight in a stern expression.

"Go on," he said. "You heard your coach." Without another word, Paige turned away from them, wondering what the hell Coach was going to say to him.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

She'd almost let her frustration get the best of her. She couldn't believe she'd almost mouthed off to Paige's dad, and in front of the whole swim team. It hadn't been her smartest move, and she was sure that Paige wouldn't have appreciated it. She just wished that Paige would have stood up for herself. She couldn't stand to see her being torn down like that, especially in front of everyone.

Paige avoided everyone's gaze in the locker room. Emily wanted to speak to her but wasn't sure if she was angry with her or not.

She made her way back onto the bus, surprised when Paige took a seat beside her.

She sat for a moment, looking at her knees. Finally, she said, "You didn't need to do that back there." Her tone was neither angry nor pleased; she was just stating a fact.

"I know, I'm sorry," Emily replied, still feeling like she should apologise. Paige gave her a flicker of a smile before pulling out her iPod and putting in her earbuds. Emily turned to face the window, smiling slightly.

They had reached a sort of impasse. Emily wasn't going back on her decision and Paige didn't seem to be budging on her mind-set either. Paige had pretty much been giving her the cold shoulder ever since their kiss in the woods a month ago, and this was the first time she had voluntarily sat beside her since.

Okay, so that was partly Emily's fault after what she'd said on their run. Paige had taken her words to heart, but she guessed she should be glad she had even though she missed her more than she could say.

But having Paige sitting beside her, even though they weren't talking, well, it was nice. Paige still wasn't ready to accept that she had to come out, and going by the way she had just let her dad walk all over her, it probably wouldn't be any time soon, but Emily was still here, waiting; waiting to hug her and pull her close when the realisation hit.

She felt Paige nudge her shoulder. She turned to see her holding an earbud out for her to take. Emily smiled; she had her own iPod in her bag, but she took the earbud anyway. Their upper arms pressed into each other as Emily shifted closer to Paige, music filling her ear.

This was the most physical contact she'd had with Paige in weeks and she couldn't will herself to move away again. She just allowed herself to enjoy the moment of closeness, knowing that things would probably go back to how they'd been the past month as soon as they stepped off of the bus. She allowed herself a moment just to be Paige's _friend_.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

It was a few days later, and she actually felt like things were getting better with Emily. They were now talking at lunch because they wanted to; not just in order to keep up appearances for Spencer and Aria. It was almost like they were friends again; Paige had forgotten what that felt like. Maybe they could even start training together again. Maybe Emily was finally starting to realise she had made a mistake and they could get back together.

She headed to her locker that morning with a spring in her step, rounding the corner to see Emily laughing. She smiled slightly at the sight before she saw who she was speaking to.

Maya.

Paige's stomach turned as she stopped dead in her tracks. She noticed the subtle touches Maya was placing on Emily's arm as she laughed a little too loudly at something Emily said for it to be natural.

Paige's fist clenched. She had the urge to go up to Maya and tell her to get the hell away from her girlfriend.

Her heart stopped. Emily wasn't her girlfriend; not anymore. Panic swelled inside her. Fucking Maya; she was going to sweep in and take Emily from her, and the only reason that Paige could come up with as to why she shouldn't was that Maya wasn't _her._

Or maybe that was the point. In fact, as Paige started to think about it, Maya was exactly what Emily wanted; she was out. They could be together without any fear or paranoia getting in the way. There was nothing stopping them. And even if it wasn't Maya, eventually there would be someone else. Paige knew how lucky she'd been to have Emily; knew what a catch she was.

And she'd lost her.

She felt sick.

* * *

Emily smiled at her as Paige walked into English. She averted her eyes, taking her seat and starting to look over her notes. "Hey," Emily said slowly. Paige could sense her looking at her.

"Hi," she muttered, not looking up from the piece of paper in front of her.

Emily cleared her throat. "So, are you coming prom dress shopping after school?" Paige didn't miss the hopeful note in her voice. She didn't feel like even thinking about prom right now never mind going shopping for a dress that she knew she would feel uncomfortable in.

"No, I don't think so," she replied, shooting Emily a quick look, seeing her face fall. She didn't get why it mattered whether she came or not. In fact, it might be better if she skipped the prom altogether. She looked to the front of the class, wishing Mr Fitz would hurry up and start the lesson.

"Why not?"

Paige shrugged. "I'm not even sure if I'm going anymore." An image of Emily and Maya slow dancing flashed into her mind. That would be something that she would _never_ want to witness.

Emily leaned forward in her chair. "What? You have to! I mean, you don't _have_ to, obviously, but it's senior prom, Paige. Why wouldn't you want to go?"

Paige's eyes narrowed, looking back at her. "What does it matter to you?"

A hurt expression crossed Emily's face. "Paige, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"So, if we could all turn to page two hundred and fifty one and we'll get started," Mr Fitz said to the class. Paige turned to look straight ahead, hearing Emily's aggravated sigh beside her.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

She didn't get it. Paige had pulled away again and she had no idea why. She had thought that they were finally getting to a place where they were comfortable with each other again, even though they weren't back together.

She tried to get Paige to open up after swim practice, but there were too many people around for her to ask the questions she really wanted to.  She wanted to know if her dad had said something to upset her the night before, or if someone else had. She wanted Paige to talk to her; tell her what had happened. It wasn't going to help her any to keep her feelings bottled up.

But Paige wouldn't give her any indication as to why she had resorted back to the Paige she had been a week or so ago; closed off and distant. With one last refusal of Emily's offer to come shopping with them, Emily left Paige in the locker room, heading to meet Hanna, Spencer and Aria at the mall.

* * *

"I don't know what to do, Hanna," Emily groaned.

They were sitting on the couch in The Brew, Emily on a break from work and needing to vent about the current situation. She'd just had to endure another day of Paige's mood swings. "Has she said anything to you? _Something_ must have happened."

"For the hundredth time, Em, she hasn't said anything to me," Hanna sighed. "And she probably won't. Any information I get I usually have to drag out of her. If she won't tell you then she's not gonna tell me."

Emily inhaled deeply. "I'm losing hope. It's been over a month and she's given me no sign that she's actually even thought about what I said. Just when I thought she was maybe getting there…" She sighed heavily, knowing this was a slow process but just wishing the penny would drop for Paige already. There was a hole in her heart that only Paige could fill and she needed her back in her life.

"Just give her time. She's always been on the stubborn side. It drives me crazy."

"Me too," Emily replied, giving Hanna a sad smile.

* * *

It was at lunch the next day when Emily lost all hope completely. She was sitting with Hanna and Aria, halfway through eating her lunch when she heard Paige's laugh.

Her head automatically snapped in the direction of the noise. She'd been wondering where Paige was. She doubted she'd decided to join Spencer at the prom committee meeting.

It took her a moment to locate her; she spotted her sitting with a few members of the guys' lacrosse team. She was smiling at Troy Sattler, looking totally wrapped up in what he was saying as she laughed again.

"When did _that_ start to happen?" Aria asked.

"What do you mean?" Emily said quickly, a knot forming in her stomach. Paige was just talking to him; that's all it was.

She swallowed.

"Looks like Paige is finally ready to move on from Sean," Aria stated, going back to her salad. "About time as well."

Emily looked at Hanna, wanting reassurance that Aria was obviously wrong. Hanna just looked past her shoulder at Paige, shaking her head. "What is she _doing_?" she muttered, causing Emily's heart rate to increase. She seemed to realise she had spoken out loud, correcting herself as she met Emily's gaze. "I mean, it's probably nothing." She gave a pathetic attempt at a smile.

"Am I missing something?" Aria asked, looking back and forth between them.

Emily looked down at the table, unable to speak. Hanna answered. "It's just, you know, Troy kind of has a bad reputation. I think he's slept with like half of the girls at school."

Emily stood up. "I have to go." She didn't wait for an answer, just picked up her bag and stormed out of the cafeteria.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

She was unchaining her bike when Emily came up to her.  "Hey," she smiled, finally getting the padlock loose.

"Hey." Emily wasn't smiling back at her. She looked off into the empty parking lot, seeming deep in thought. Paige secured the chain around the underside of her saddle before standing up. "So, I saw you talking to Troy today."

So this is what this was about. "Yeah." Emily turned to stare at her, Paige shifting uncomfortably under her gaze. "What?" she finally asked, the silence eating away at her.

Emily sighed. "What are you doing, Paige?"

Paige began to wheel her bike away from the school, Emily following her. "What do you mean? I was just talking to him."

"Really? 'Cause from where I was sitting it looked like more than that." Emily's jaw twitched. Was she jealous? That was rich, coming from her. "And I know that I wasn't just imagining things because Hanna and Aria thought so too."

"So what if it was, Emily?" Paige stopped to look at her. "Despite what people say, he's a nice guy; and he makes me laugh. I could do with some of that right now." Emily was shaking her head at her, a disdainful smile on her face.

"You know he wants to be more than your friend, right?"

She shrugged. "So what?" She'd lost Emily; what did it matter who she went out with now. No one was going to compare to her; Emily was 'it' for her and they were over. The least she could do now was go on a date with someone she could actually tell her family about and hope that the pain in her chest would fade over time. "You don't get a say in what I do anymore, Emily. You've made that perfectly clear."

"What are you _talking_ about?" Emily said, exasperated. "Why are you doing this?"

" _You_ broke up with _me_ , remember? So why don't you just go be with Maya and leave me alone." She began to walk again, unable to look at Emily's hurt and confused expression any longer.

After a moment, she heard Emily shout after her. "You're a fucking idiot, Paige!" Paige gripped her handle bars tighter, throwing a leg over her bike and pedalling away without glancing back.

* * *

Later that night, Paige received a text from Troy.

_Hey, so there's this house party on saturday at adam patterson's house, I think most seniors are going, want to go with me?_

Paige smiled, texting back a quick 'yes' without thinking. This could be just what she needed. Maybe he could help her get over Emily (although deep down she knew that was never going to happen).

She was desperate to get over her; desperate for it to stop hurting.

* * *

"So, you're going to the party tomorrow night with Troy?" Spencer grinned, coming up to her at her locker. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"He only asked me last night," Paige said. "How do you know anyway?" She certainly hadn't told anyone.

"I overheard Troy telling his lacrosse buddies." _Great, the whole school probably knows by now_. She thought she'd find the idea of everyone knowing comforting in a way, but that wasn't how she felt at all. All she could feel was anxiety. Anxiety over the lie; anxiety over Emily hearing about it. "Paige, please be careful. I know he's hot, but don't let him push you too far on the first date; not if you don't want to."

Paige smiled at Spencer's concern, knowing that there was no way she was going to sleep with him; not on the first date anyway. They could cross that bridge when they came to it.

She looked past Spencer's shoulder, catching sight of Hanna who was followed by Emily. Paige could tell instantly by Emily's posture that she knew. She had her arms wrapped around herself, her head bowed. She looked smaller than usual. She looked up briefly, long enough for Paige to notice her reddened eyes. Her stomach twisted painfully.

Paige's eyes moved to Hanna; she gulped. She had a face like thunder.

She hastily began stuffing the books she needed into her bag, Spencer giving her a confused look. "Just realised I said I'd go meet my lab partner before class," she explained, trying to clear out before Hanna inevitably approached her. She didn't trust her in this moment not to start shouting at her in the hallway.

"See you." She shut her locker quickly, literally running away from her problem. She knew it was pathetic, but it was the only way she knew how to deal right now.

* * *

Unfortunately Hanna managed to catch up with her in between classes, dragging her into an empty bathroom.

"What the hell, Hanna. You're going to make me late for class." She tried to move past her but Hanna stood firmly in front of the door.

"Troy? Really, Paige? Really?"

Paige sighed. "Look, just stay out of it, okay? This has nothing to do with you."

"No, I will not stay out of it! Do you know I had Emily crying on my shoulder for about ten minutes this morning when she found out? What the hell are you doing? Emily broke up with you so that you would realise you couldn't stay in the closet forever; not so you could start dating a _dude._ " Paige flushed.

"Look, it's not really a proper date. There's going to be loads of people there." Hanna tilted her head to the side.

"That's the lamest thing I've ever heard." Paige looked away, embarrassed. Hanna took a breath, speaking with a calm voice. "Look, I can't pretend to know what you're going through right now, but what I do know is that going out with Troy is not going to make you straight, Paige. It's not going to change the fact that you're in love with Emily."

_Maybe not, but it's worth a try._

"I need to get to class, Hanna. Move." Hanna just stared at her, finally shaking her head with pursed lips, moving to the side. Paige opened the door, exiting the bathroom quickly, having to remind herself to breathe.

* * *

When she woke up on Saturday morning, she was nervous. She had no idea how the night was going to go, but she hoped that she could at least have a good time if nothing else. She was sick of feeling depressed.

She was further agitated by the fact that her friends were going to the same party, and as far as she knew, so was Emily.

She wasn't sure if she would show though. Paige hadn't seen her since yesterday morning. She hadn't been in English or shown at swim practice. Paige couldn't afford to dwell on that though; if she did, her emotions would cripple her.

The day passed surprisingly quickly, and before she knew it, Troy was waiting for her outside her house. She got into his car, the smell of his aftershave immediately hitting her. He gave her a lazy smile that she knew would make most girls weaken at the knees.

But she wasn't most girls.

She forced a smile onto her face, willing herself to relax, letting out a subtle sigh as he started to drive.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

Her head was already spinning and they hadn't even gotten to the party yet.

She had taken a bottle of- something (she wasn't exactly sure what), out of her parents liquor cabinet when her mom wasn't looking; not that she would have cared if she had been caught. She was already a bad daughter, after all.

She had started drinking it straight from the bottle, her eyes watering as the liquid burned down her throat.

After about her tenth sip, she couldn't even taste it anymore. By the time she got into Caleb's car to go to the party, she was unsteady on her feet, her vision blurry.

"Jeez, Em," Hanna said, turning around in the passenger seat. "You smell like a brewery; how much have you had to drink?"

She shrugged. "Probably not enough," she muttered.

Five minutes later they pulled up at the house. "Caleb, do you mind going on in? I just need to speak to Emily for a sec." Emily gave a dramatic sigh, wondering what lecture she was about to get.

Caleb looked at her before looking back at Hanna. "Okay, but just promise me if she's going to throw up that it won't be in my car?" Emily rolled her eyes while Hanna promised, kissing Caleb quickly before he left.

Hanna turned to face her. "Em, are you sure you want to do this? We can just go back home; have a girls' night?"

"Yes, I'm sure," Emily snapped, starting to get out of the car. If Paige was going to try and live this lie then she was going to have to do it in front of her.

She slammed the door shut, hearing Hanna say," Just please don't do anything stupid and make things worse." Emily couldn't help but laugh hollowly. Like she could honestly do anything worse than what Paige was already doing.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

She actually was having a good time, much to her surprise. Troy introduced her to his circle of friends, and she'd lost count of the number of times she'd laughed so far. And she had made _them_ laugh too; it was a good feeling.

Troy kept placing his hand on the small of her back, pulling her in close to the side of his body. Paige didn't know if it was the alcohol or not, but she suddenly felt like she could do this; she could pretend not to be hopelessly in love with Emily.

At first she'd had to use a lot of concentration not to let her gaze wander around the room in search of her, but as the night wore on the urge was reduced to a dull nagging at the back of her brain.

Until Emily accidentally bumped into her, that was.

Paige turned sharply in surprise, taking in a breath when she saw the state she was in. "Sorry," she slurred. "Don't mean to interrupt, just need to use the bathroom." Paige watched her move off, watched as she hit almost every person she passed. She heard some of Troy's friends laughing, someone saying, "Drunk much?"

"Uh, I'll be back in a minute," she said quickly to Troy, throwing him a quick smile before she headed after Emily.

She squeezed through the crowd after her, putting her hand on her arm when she reached her. "Emily." Emily yanked her arm away so viciously that Paige ended up having to grab her again before she fell to the floor.

"Let go of me," she growled. Paige stepped away, holding her hands up in surrender. She'd never seen her like this before; it unsettled her.

"Em, don't you think you've had enough?" Paige nodded to the cup she had in her hand.

Emily shrugged, swaying on the spot. "You don't get a say in what I do anymore." Emily quoting her own words back at her was enough to make her freeze, her heart clenching. Although Emily's eyes were glazed and unfocused, Paige didn't think she'd ever seen such anger in them. "Go on," Emily spat. "You don't need to babysit me. Go back to Troy. Go back to being a fake; it's what you're best at." She knew it was the alcohol talking, but that didn't make Emily's words hurt any less; make them any less true.

She snatched the drink from Emily's hand and headed back towards Troy and his group, taking controlled breaths to try and stop herself from crying.

"Hey," Troy said. "You look like you could use some air; want to go out back for a bit?"

Paige didn't even need to think, she just nodded numbly and let him take her hand, dumping Emily's cup on a table they passed to go outside. The fresh air felt good on her skin. "Is your friend okay?" Troy asked. "She looks a bit wasted."

Paige gave a short, empty laugh. "Wasted is one word for it." And it was all her fault; she knew it was.

Troy put his hand on her shoulder, rubbing it sympathetically before pulling her into a hug. "So, I'm having a great time tonight, are you?"

Paige didn't feel like she could form words so she just nodded against his chest. They stayed like that for a minute before Troy pulled back, looking down at her, his hand coming up to rest on her neck.

Paige just stood there as he bowed his head, brushing his lips against hers. When she didn't stop him, he pressed his mouth firmer against her, Paige starting to respond. She closed her eyes, trying for one feeble moment to imagine that it wasn't Troy, but Emily, kissing her. It didn't work; he was too tall, his stubble scratching uncomfortably against her lips, his rough calloused hand distracting against the side of her neck.

Emily was right; she was a fake.

This wasn't right. This wasn't her.

She pulled away. "Troy, I'm sorry but I think I'm just going to head home."

He sighed, giving her a slight smile. "Come on; I thought you wanted this? You wouldn't have come to the party with me otherwise; you know who I am."

 _And I know who I am._ "Maybe I thought I did, but I don't. I'm sorry." She quickly turned to head back inside. She wanted to find Emily; _had_ to find Emily.

She had circled the whole bottom floor of the house twice with no luck and was about to give up when something caught her attention.

"Yeah! Get it, Fields!" It was Noel Kahn. He and some other guys had formed a semi-circle around something that was happening at the side of the room. Something that obviously involved Emily.

She began to push forward into the crowd.

Hanna suddenly appeared in front of her. "Paige, go wait outside." Her eyes were wide as she stood on her tip-toes to try and block Paige from seeing whatever was happening.

"What is it?" she asked quickly.

"Nothing, just go wait outside; I'll be there in a minute." It obviously wasn't 'nothing'. The way Hanna was acting was starting to freak her out. She ignored Hanna's command to go outside, forcing her way past her and the other bodies in her way.

She finally made her way to the edge of the circle, every last bit of air leaving her body when she saw what was happening.

Emily was kissing someone. Emily was kissing a girl.

Emily was kissing Maya.

It felt like the room was getting smaller, the noise from the party disappearing, an invisible force crushing her chest and making it impossible for her to breath, but still, she couldn't tear her eyes away.

"Paige!"

She stood and watched as Emily pushed Maya harder against the wall, tangling a hand in her hair.

"Paige!" She suddenly realised Hanna was shaking her, her hand on her face, turning her to look into her eyes. "Paige, it's okay. Just wait outside; I'm going to get Emily." Hanna gave her a gentle push backwards, Paige almost drifting out of the crowd.

She numbly made her way to the front door, not stopping when she got outside the house. She kept going, breaking out into a run when she started to process what she had just seen.

She was too late.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

She was kissing Maya. She wasn't exactly sure how it had happened. All she knew was that she'd seen Troy take Paige's hand to lead her outside and that was enough for her mind to completely shut down.

She'd come across Maya on her blind fumble for the way out of the house, and Maya, as always, tried to start up a conversation with her. Emily had stared at her, watching her mouth as it moved but not hearing a word she was saying. The only thought in her head was that Paige was with Troy.

The memory of Paige telling her to go be with Maya (she still had no idea where that had come from) flared up. She knew it was spiteful but in that moment she _felt_ spiteful. Paige had hurt her more than she ever thought was possible. Without further thinking, she'd dipped her head and kissed Maya.

It was sloppy; uncoordinated. Emily stumbled against her, losing her balance. She ended up sandwiching Maya between herself and the wall in an effort to stay standing.

Her mind drifted to Paige. She tried to pretend that it was Paige she was kissing; pretend that Paige wasn't doing god-knows-what with Troy; pretend that the last month had been nothing but a horrible nightmare that she would soon wake up from.

But Maya was too short; her hands not firm enough but not gentle enough either as they pressed into her back. She wasn't kissing her _the right way_.

Emily suddenly felt a sharp pain in her arm. She pulled away from Maya abruptly, turning to see Hanna. "Sorry, Maya, but Emily has to go." Hanna wrapped her hand firmly around Emily's upper arm, beginning to drag her away.

"What the hell?" she growled. "Get off of me." Hanna didn't listen, instead just pushed her through the tight crowd who were booing at her for some reason ("Way to ruin the show, Hanna!"). Emily was too drunk to put up much of a fight.

As soon as they got outside, Emily found it difficult to stay up straight without all the people to hold onto for support. She felt Hanna's arm go around her waist, slinging Emily's arm around her shoulder.

Her limbs felt heavy. Why weren't her feet moving when she told them to?

Hanna groaned. "For god's sake, Emily! Walk!"

"I'm trying," she whined. They managed to get a few steps before Emily's legs gave way, Hanna unable to stop her from hitting the ground. She didn't even feel any pain; all she felt was how good the cool pavement felt against her hot cheek.

"This is useless," she heard Hanna say up above her. Emily's eyes closed, quickly opening them again because it felt like the world was spinning and tilting and it was making her dizzy.

"Caleb, I'm outside. No, I know- just come meet me please. I need help with Emily. Okay, bye." Emily tried to sit up but struggled. Her head felt like it had a lead weight attached to it. Hanna leaned down to help her, looking around the front yard. "Shit," she muttered.

"What?" Her head lolled back again, Hanna having to catch her before she hit the ground once more. Hanna rested Emily's head against her shoulder, both of them now sitting on the ground.

"Paige; I don't know where she went."

"She's with… Troy." The name left a bad taste in her mouth. She wished Hanna would stop moving her head; it was making her feel sick. "She went out the back door with him; I saw."

"No, she's not with Troy, Emily. Listen, Paige saw you." Emily moved with great difficulty to stare up at Hanna, not understanding. "Paige _saw_ you, Emily. She saw you kissing Maya. I tried to stop her but I couldn't."

Emily could only gaze blankly at her, before a snort of laughter escaped her. She giggled stupidly, unable to stop once she started. No, Hanna was mistaken. Paige had gone outside with Troy. She couldn't have seen her. She couldn't.

Once her laughter subsided, she looked back at Hanna to see her face looking far too serious. "Why aren't you laughing?" she mumbled.

"Because I wasn't joking." Emily's smile slowly started to falter as the words started to sink in. No. This wasn't happening. Paige couldn't have-

Her mouth started to water, her jaw feeling slack. She quickly leaned to the side, emptying the entire contents of her stomach onto the path. She felt Hanna shuffling back, holding her hair out of the way as she ran a gentle hand over her back.

"No," she started crying softly once her stomach stopped heaving. "No. I'm sorry. Paige, I love you, I'm sorry."

Suddenly she was being picked up, her head falling against a strong chest, all the while whispering, "I'm sorry," over and over again.

"Hanna, open the door," she heard a deep voice say. It was Caleb; Caleb was carrying her. She felt him lay her down in the backseat of the car. "Emily, please tell me if you need to throw up again and I'll pull over, okay?"

"Can you take her back to my place and put her in my bed? Her mom can't see her like this; she'll kill her."

"Sure, where are you going?"

"I need to find Paige."

 _Paige._ Emily's body started shaking as she began to cry harder, pressing her bracelet that she still hadn't taken off against her lips. _Paige. I love you so much. I'm sorry._

* * *

**_Paige_ **

She found herself back at the bench where Emily had broken up with her. She didn't even remember getting here. She could barely make out a thing in the darkness. She knew it was dangerous; there could be a murderer lurking a few feet away and she wouldn't know, but she didn't care. She felt like she was already dead.

Silent tears poured down her face in quiet acceptance of the fact she had lost Emily; _truly_ lost her. She couldn't even shut her eyes because every time she did she saw Emily kissing Maya which made her chest so painfully tight that she was sure her heart was about to give in.

She had no idea how long she had sat there for before she heard her phone buzzing. Without looking to see who it was, she put it to her ear.

"Hello?" Her voice sounded foreign to her own ears.

"Paige, where the hell did you go? I told you to wait outside." Hanna sounded stressed.

"I am outside."

She could practically hear Hanna rolling her eyes. " _Where_ outside are you? I can't see you anywhere."

She didn't have the energy to tell her anything but the truth. "I'm sitting on a bench in the woods." She sighed, figuring that if she didn't give her exact location Hanna would just harass her until she did. "It's about ten minutes into the nature trail."

"Have you completely lost your mind?" Hanna shrieked. _Yes,_ Paige thought. "Get out of there! Please? I'll meet you at start of the trail."

Paige knew that Hanna, much like any rational thinking person, didn't want to walk into the woods in the pitch black, but knew that she would if she had to. Paige might have been willing to risk her own safety, but not Hanna's. "Fine," she answered, hanging up and beginning to head back.

As she walked, Emily and Maya filled her head again. What were they doing now? Had they found a more private spot? Were Maya's hands roaming all over Emily's body? Was Emily's hand slowly creeping up underneath Maya's shirt?

Paige felt a sharp pain in her hand which had formed into a fist, her thumb ring digging into her skin. Her eyes locked onto the ring, rage building up inside her. She came to a stop, angrily pulling it off and clenching her hand around it.

_Fuck you, Emily. FUCK YOU._

A loud sob echoed around the still air. She drew back her hand, ready to throw the ring as far as she could into the trees, but she changed her mind about halfway through. She fumbled the ring with her fingertips. She lost her grip, the ring falling from her grasp, hearing a small thud a few feet away.

She suddenly found herself on her knees, scrambling around blindly in the dirt trying to find it, panic consuming her.

"Fuck," she whispered through her tears. "Fuck!" She banged her fist on the ground, leaning back on her heels hopelessly. After giving herself a moment to just _cry_ , she pulled her phone back out of her pocket. The light she got from it was weak, not able to cover more than a few inches of the ground at a time, but it was better than nothing.

She focused on where she thought she heard it fall, scanning her phone slowly over the dirt. Just as she was about to give up and cry some more, she saw a glint of something. She quickly directed the light in the direction, sighing in relief when she saw her ring lying in amongst some dried out leaves.

She clenched her hand around it tightly, pressing her fist against her mouth as her shoulders slumped. After a minute, she staggered to her feet, feeling completely drained.

She slipped the ring back onto her thumb as she walked. She wasn't exactly sure _why_ , but it calmed her.

She finally saw light illuminating from the street lamps up ahead, Hanna pacing anxiously back and forth in the clearing. Paige saw her visibly relax when she came into view.

"Thank god," she said, throwing her arms around her. Paige didn't even have the energy to respond, her arms hanging limply at her sides. Hanna pulled back. She looked worried as she took in Paige's dirt-covered appearance. "Are you okay?"

Well, that was a stupid question. She didn't answer, instead moving off to sit on a nearby wall.

"So, Caleb took Emily back to my place," Hanna said quietly, sitting beside her.

Paige let out a snort of laughter. They really had come full circle; Caleb taking Emily home after something horrendous had occurred on a night out; things as fucked up as ever.

"What's funny?" Hanna asked, confused.

"Absolutely nothing," Paige grimaced, her jaw twitching. Well, at least Emily wasn't off having sex with Maya. Not yet, anyway.

A few more silent tears leaked from her eyes. Hanna ran a hand over her back as Paige wiped them away, sniffing loudly. "Well, I guess this is it then."

She saw Hanna turning to look at her out of the corner of her eye. "What do you mean?"

"That's it between Emily and me. She got her wish; she's out to everyone now. She can't go backwards; she doesn't want me anymore." _I was too late_.

Hanna exhaled sharply, pulling her hand from her back. "You're unbelievable." Paige frowned, turning to look at her. "How can you say that when you _know_ it's absolute bullcrap?" Paige looked away from Hanna's angry eyes.

"Then why did she kiss Maya?" she asked, her voice cracking. "Why?"

"Emily saw _you_ going out back with Troy. I'm figuring that had something to do with it," Hanna hissed. "She doesn't even like Maya like that and you know it. You're an idiot, Paige." Paige suddenly remembered Emily shouting the same thing at her when they had been talking about her date with Troy. "Emily doesn't want anyone else _but_ you. Why do you think she was so drunk tonight? She's hurting and doesn't know how to deal with it. Seeing you with Troy sent her over the edge. I think you broke her, Paige. You _broke_ her."

Paige jumped up off of the wall in anger. "Are we forgetting the part where Emily dumped me? I told her that I loved her and she-" Her body deflated just as quickly as it had tensed. "She still left me."

"For your own good! All she wanted was for you to realise that you couldn't stay a secret forever, but you were too deluded to see it. She was waiting for you, Paige! Waiting for you to come to your senses, and instead of using the time to properly accept yourself, you went on a date with a guy! Surely you can see how messed up that is?"

After a moment, Paige's eyes widened, the enormity of the situation finally hitting her. What she had done; what Emily had done; all of it. She started sobbing.

Hanna guided her to sit on the wall again, Paige taking in deep, heaving breaths. "Emily was waiting for me?" she managed to choke out. If what Hanna was saying was true, was there still hope? Was there still hope for them?

"Yes! And she still _is_. That's what I've been trying to tell you," Hanna said gently, squeezing her shoulder. Paige suddenly smiled through her tears, trying to wrap her mind around the information.

"Do you know," Hanna started, rolling her eyes with smile. "Even between the throwing up and all the crying, Emily couldn't stop saying your name; couldn't stop saying how sorry she was." Paige really _was_ an idiot. "She loves you, Paige. And she always will; no matter how many insanely dumb things you do."

Paige smiled softly, knowing the words were true. She couldn't believe that she had gotten it into her head that Emily didn't want her anymore; not after everything they had shared. Paige was so in love with Emily that it had made her stupid; so incredibly stupid.

But she had a clear head now.

"Saying that though," Hanna continued. "I think you're at a point where it's either make or break; for good. You can only drive Emily away so many times before she won't come back, no matter how she feels about you." Paige nodded, understanding what Hanna was saying. It had taken this long, taken all this _shit_ for her to finally realise it, but she now knew what Emily had meant when she said that they could never work; not as long as Paige had all this anxiety and paranoia surrounding her. And there was only one way to get rid of that.

_I'm gay._

She had a possible second chance with Emily and she wasn't going to let herself ruin it.

She knew what she had to do.


	18. Chapter 18

**_Emily_ **

Her eyes opened slowly, taking a moment to realise where she was. She shifted her head slightly on the pillow, seeing the top of Hanna’s head poking out from under the covers on the couch at the side of the room. She was at Hanna's.

_Oh god._

The events from the night before came rushing back, hitting her hard. She couldn’t remember all the details, but she knew that she had kissed Maya. And Paige had witnessed it.

How could she have let this happen? How could she have been so stupid?

She closed her eyes again, wanting to block out the world forever, wishing she could go back in time. If things between her and Paige hadn’t already been over, they definitely were now.

She thought she would feel her heart shattering into a million pieces; her ribs crushing her lungs; at least some physical indication that she had just lost the love of her life. But she felt nothing. Only numbness.

She made a move to get out of the bed but stopped suddenly, knowing without a doubt that as soon as she stood up she would throw up.

She opened her mouth to speak, finding her tongue as dry as sandpaper, having to unstick it from the roof of her mouth, swallowing uncomfortably. "Hanna," she croaked. She didn't stir. "Hanna," Emily repeated as loud as her parched throat would allow her.

There was finally movement on the couch, Hanna rolling over onto her side, her bleary eyes blinking open. "I'm going to be sick," Emily said quickly. "Can you grab me a basin or something?"

Hanna stumbled from the couch, her hair sticking up every which way, hastily exiting the room. Two minutes later she returned empty-handed. "Oh my god, Emily. Your mom is downstairs."

"What? Why?" This was the last thing she needed.

Hanna put a hand to her face. "I totally forgot to let her know that you were staying here. God; she looks like she hasn't slept at all."

Emily wrinkled her forehead, already feeling like the day was going to be too much. She would deal with her mom in a minute, but first she really had to throw up. Bracing herself, she shot out of the bed as quickly as possible, clapping a hand over her mouth as she ran for the bathroom.

Her knees landed roughly on the cold hard tiles, just managing to get her head over the toilet before her body rejected the alcohol still in her system.

Once her stomach stopped lurching, she reached blindly to flush the toilet, slumping back against the bathroom cabinet weakly, her head pounding. She saw Hanna entering the bathroom cautiously, holding out a large glass of water and two painkillers towards her.

Emily contorted her face in what she hoped resembled a smile, taking the tablets from Hanna and throwing them to the back of her throat, gulping them down with the water.

 Hanna sat down beside her, taking in a breath. "So," she shifted. "Last night was a bit of a mess, huh?" Emily didn't respond, instead just stared blankly at a spot on the bathtub opposite. "Do… you remember what happened? You were kind of out of it."

"I remember," Emily stated with an even tone. "The main parts, anyway. I don't know how I got here though."

"Caleb brought you back while I went to look for Paige." That got Emily's attention. She turned her head to look at Hanna.

"And? Did you find her?" Hanna nodded, Emily's stomach twisting. "Well? How much does she hate me?"

Hanna sighed, putting a hand on her wrist. "She doesn't hate you, Em."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Emily retorted. She knew how Paige felt about Maya; knew how insecure Paige was over Maya having a crush on her.

And Paige had seen Emily kissing her.

"Emily, I know what you did last night was stupid, but she loves you. Do you honestly think this whole situation would have played out the way it has if she didn't?" Hanna's words brought her little comfort. She'd kissed Maya; she'd ruined everything. "You two are so in love it's sickening." Hanna smiled as Emily's chest started to hurt. "And yeah, I won't lie; she was angry, but to be honest I think Paige seeing you with Maya was a good thing."

Emily scrunched up her face, unable to keep up with Hanna's ridiculous line of thought in her hung-over state. "What are you talking about? On what planet is that a good thing?"

"Well, I think she's finally starting to realise that if she doesn't come out then she's going to lose you to someone else. I know you said you'd wait, but come on, you can't literally wait _forever_. And Paige knows that now. I think seeing you with Maya might have given her the kick she needed."

A small flicker of hope managed to squeeze past all the pain, much to Emily's dismay, but she wasn't going to hold her breath that Paige had suddenly accepted who she was. She'd been hurt and disappointed too many times. Seeing Paige with Troy had killed all remaining faith she'd had in their relationship. "Yeah, well, we'll see," she said in a way that made it perfectly clear she thought Hanna's words were nothing more than wishful thinking.

"Yes, we will," Hanna replied, an air of confidence in her voice. She stood up. "Right, you better try and make yourself look like you didn't attempt to drink every drop of alcohol in sight last night before we go downstairs."

Emily's headache grew worse as her thoughts returned to her mom. Using all her effort, she heaved herself up off the floor, turning to look into the mirror, her eyes widening at her appearance; she looked awful.

Mascara was smeared down her face from the tears she must have cried last night, but she didn't really remember that part. Her eyes look tired and unfocused, her lips dry and chapped. She suddenly leaned in closer to the mirror to examine marks along her jaw. "Hanna, what the hell happened to my face?" There were several small cuts on her skin.

Hanna stepped closer to get a better look. "Oh, that must have happened when I couldn't carry you and you couldn't walk, ergo your face met the pavement."

Emily shook her head. "I'm so sorry about last night. I must have been a nightmare. I can't believe I don't remember all this happening." She began to wonder what else she might have said or done but she was scared to ask Hanna for more information.

"Don't worry about it. Once you and Paige are back together, it'll all be worth it." Emily sighed, no longer believing that was ever going to happen but not wanting to crush Hanna's spirits after all she had done for the both of them.

After running a wipe over her face and a brush through her hair, she put on her shoes that she found at the end of Hanna's bed, making a feeble attempt to smooth out the wrinkles in her shirt that she had slept in. Figuring that her mom was going to scream at her no matter how bad she looked, she gave up, sighing heavily.

Just before they left Hanna's room, Emily asked the question that had been nagging at the back of her brain. "Did she kiss him?"

Hanna turned around. "What?"

"Paige," Emily clarified. "Did she kiss Troy?" The thought made her feel ill. She had the brief recollection of seeing Paige leaving to go outside with him which, she assumed, had triggered the whole Maya debacle.

Hanna gave a shrug. "I don't know, Em. You'll need to ask her." Emily's stomach sank. She didn't think Paige would be up for having a discussion with her anytime soon.

They made their way to the kitchen. Both of their moms were sitting at the table, their conversation stopping when Emily and Hanna entered the room. "Well," her mom started, her eyes looking Emily up and down, frowning. "Thank you, Ashley. And again, sorry for phoning so late last night. I didn't know what else to do." Emily felt a pang of guilt. She might have been angry with her mom, but she knew she must have been worried sick when she didn't come home.

"It's not a problem. I'll be having a word with Hanna." Hanna's mom gave them a stern look, making Emily feel even guiltier. She didn't want Hanna getting into trouble for something that wasn't her fault.

"Please go easy on Hanna, Mrs Marin," she stated. "I was a bit of a mess last night and it's thanks to her that I got home at all, so thank you." She turned to Hanna, giving her a smile before saying goodbye and heading to the door, her mom following.

She felt tense as she got into the passenger seat of the car, anticipating the yelling to start as soon as her mom got in beside her.

But it didn't; instead, her mom just drove off, saying nothing, her hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.

The journey was short but uncomfortable, Emily ready to run up to her room as soon as she stepped through the door. "Emily, sit." Emily looked over her shoulder to see her mom glaring at her, moving over to the couch. She sighed, having only managed to get up two stairs. She wasn't in the mood for whatever lecture was about to begin.

Emily sat on the couch as her mom paced back and forth on the floor in front of her, her eyes feeling heavy. She just wanted to sleep. "Do you have any idea what you put me through last night?" Emily stared down at her lap. "I phoned you at least a dozen times. Why didn't you answer?"

Emily had completely forgotten about her phone. She ran a hand over the pocket of her jeans, surprised to find it still there. "Sorry, the party was… loud."

"It was around half two in the morning when I finally discovered you were at Hanna's. I was worried out of my mind, Emily. Anything could have happened-" Her voice cracked.

"I'm sorry, Mom. It won't happen again." After a beat of silence, she added, "Can I go now?" She glanced up at her mom, seeing her frowning and moving to sit beside her.

"What's gotten into you? Getting so drunk that you can't even come home? That's not the Emily I know. Why are you acting like this?"

Emily gave a bitter laugh. "You honestly have to ask? You really don't know what's going on with me?" Her mom didn't know about the whole Paige situation, but surely she had to know how much she had hurt her by the way she had blatantly being ignoring the fact that Emily was gay, refusing to apologise for what she'd said the only time they had talked about it. "I guess I just turned out _wrong_." Emily looked away, blinking back tears. Although she'd tried to brush off her mom's comment at the time, that one word had stuck with her.

After a moment, she felt her mom's hand on her back. "I still don't understand," she said quietly. "But I shouldn't have said what I did." Emily turned to meet her eyes, seeing that she was almost crying. "I'm so sorry," she said, her expression pained.

That was enough to set her off; Emily let her mom wrap her in a tight hug as she broke down completely.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

_I'm gay._

_I'm gay._

"I'm gay."

She released a breath as she looked at herself in the mirror, the words feeling strange on her tongue. There was a flicker of a smile on her lips; she'd finally said it. She'd finally said the words out loud. They were terrifying, but she'd realised that they weren't as terrifying as the alternative option.

There was a knock on the bathroom door that made her jump a foot in the air. "Paige?"

"What?" she replied, sounding snappier than she intended. Okay, so maybe she was still on edge when it came to her parents knowing, but logically she knew that was normal. She had been fighting against this for so long that she knew that it could take some time before she finally had the courage to tell them. She just hoped that she could find the strength soon; she needed Emily back.

"Mom and I are going out for lunch. Do you want to come?"

Paige watched her forehead as it creased in the mirror. "Uh, no thanks, Dad. I have studying to do."

"Okay, we shouldn't be gone long, bye."

Ever since Coach Fulton had spoken to her dad, he seemed to be going out of his way to be nicer to her; it was weird. He wouldn't have usually asked her to join them for lunch. She wasn't complaining though; she much preferred this side of her dad compared to the angry, over-bearing one.

But she really wanted to know what Coach Fulton had said. He hadn't even mentioned the fact she had messed up in front of the UConn scout since his outburst at the meet, and had even congratulated her on her performance in the relay when she had gotten home. It was obvious that Coach had at least told him to say that, but it still lightened the weight on Paige's shoulders slightly.

It worried her that things would probably be worse than ever between them when she told him that she was gay; she had no idea how badly he would react. She just had to hope that he wouldn't go the worse possible route and disown her, throw her out of the house.

She breathed in deeply, exiting the bathroom and making her way back to bed.

Her mom was another matter. Paige's couldn't gauge how she would react at all. She wasn't as homophobic as her dad, but that didn't mean she would support her in any way either.

She crawled under the covers, suddenly feeling deflated, her spike of confidence at finally saying 'I'm gay' seeping away.

She reached for her phone, desperate to hear Emily's voice, but realised that they were in too weird a place right now for Paige just to be phoning her up for a chat. She knew that they would have to talk about what had happened, but she really didn't want to.

Visions of Emily and Maya came into her head for the millionth time; she wanted to scream; wanted to scrape the image from her brain so that she would never have to see it again.

Anger still burned within her, but she knew that she didn't really have the right to be mad. She had kissed Troy, after all. She knew that Emily wouldn't be too happy about that when she inevitably told her.

They had both hurt each other, but Paige still believed in them. She admitted that her hope had slipped for a moment there, hence the ridiculous attempt at moving on with Troy (honestly, what had she been thinking?), but it had returned in full force after her talk with Hanna. Emily had been waiting on her; she'd had no plans to move on with someone else like Paige had feared.

She found herself looking through the photos on her phone, absent-mindedly searching for the one that Emily had snapped of the two of them cuddled up on Emily's couch a few months ago. Paige had protested, but Emily had pressed her lips against Paige's cheek while laughing, causing Paige to laugh too. The picture was cute; Emily's nose squished against her face, one of Paige's eyes squeezed closed at the contact. They had looked so happy that she couldn't bring herself to delete it, even at the risk that someone could see it.

She smiled as she looked at it now, longing for that happiness again.

Paige and Emily; Emily and Paige. They were meant to be together, and Paige refused to believe otherwise.

She would fight for her. She would fight _herself_ for her.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

She felt as though people were staring at her as she walked down the school hallway on Monday morning.

And they probably were, but she wasn't sure why. Was it because she had completely embarrassed herself on Saturday night by being so drunk or was it because they now knew that she was gay? Probably both. She bowed her head, trying not to let it get to her. What had happened had happened and she couldn't do anything to change it now; she'd accepted that. There was no point dwelling on it.

She was too concerned about seeing Paige, anyway. She didn't know what to say to her, _if_ she should say anything.

She was at her locker when she sensed someone standing next to her. She turned to see Noel Kahn, a huge grin on his face. "What?" She could only assume that this was about the party, that he had seen her kissing Maya. Noel leaned against the lockers beside her, looking her up and down, _leering_ at her.

"So, that was quite a show you gave us the other night." Emily sighed, turning away from him, beginning to wonder just how many people had caught the 'show'.  "I didn't know you liked the ladies?" If he was asking for confirmation, Emily wasn't going to give it. Not to him, at least. She glanced back at him to tell him where to go when she saw Paige walking down the hallway past his shoulder.

Their eyes met briefly, Emily unable to read Paige's expression. Paige looked away first, heading to her locker, Emily's gaze locked on to her as she went.

"So," Noel said, trying to get her attention again. "Just want you to know that you have an open invitation to any party that I hold in the future." Emily's head snapped back to him, rolling her eyes.

"Go away, Noel. I'm not interested." She couldn't stop her eyes quickly looking back at Paige, seeing she had her back to her, pulling books out of her locker. Emily turned back to face her own locker with a heavy heart.

"Aw, come on. You could bring Maya; we could have fun."

Emily gritted her teeth, embarrassed that Paige could most likely hear what he was saying. "Back off; I'm not interested," she stated again.

He smirked. "You're disappointing me, Emily. I got my hopes up for a threesome-" Emily might have hit him if he hadn't been jerked out of her sight. It took her a moment to realise what had happened.

Paige.

Paige had yanked him backwards by the bag on his shoulders, the unexpected move sending him sprawling backwards onto the floor. "Fuck!" he shouted, scrambling to his feet, angrily holding his elbow which he had hit off of the hard ground. "What the hell?"

"You heard her; back off, creep." There was a blaze in Paige's eyes that made Emily's stomach flip. Paige turned back to her locker, Noel walking away after muttering, "Bitch", under his breath.

Emily could only stand there in shock, unable to believe that Paige had just done that. People nearby were staring at her, some with smirks on their faces, some with just looks of surprise. Emily shook her head, quickly closing her locker and heading towards Paige.

She touched her arm, withdrawing her hand hastily when she realised that Paige might not like that. "Hey, you didn't have to do that," she said gently, willing Paige to look at her. She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, but that didn't mean that her heart hadn't sped up at the sight of Paige being protective over her, even after what Emily had done.

Paige shrugged, saying, "I know." She finally turned to look at her, adding, "It felt good though." And then to Emily's utter amazement, Paige quirked her eyebrow, giving her a small smile.

Even through her confusion, Emily couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. What was going on? Why was Paige being nice to her?

Paige's expression turned soft, Emily gulping. "Em-"

"Hey," Spencer said, appearing out of nowhere. Paige looked away from her, her shoulders slumping slightly, Emily ready to strangle Spencer for interrupting.

"Hey," she said, forcing a smile.

"You recovered from Adam's party then?" Spencer smiled. "I didn't see it, but I heard about you and Maya." Spencer nudged her, raising her eyebrows. Emily saw Paige tense, wanting to clap her hands over Paige's ears while she told Spencer to shut up.

"Uh, Spence, can we not talk about that? Like, ever again? I was so drunk that I didn't really know what I was doing and I just want to forget the whole thing ever happened, okay?"

Spencer's face fell. "Oh, okay." There was a moment of awkward silence before Spencer turned on Paige. "So, how was your date with Troy?"

Paige shifted, obviously uncomfortable. "It was awful," she said to the inside of her locker. "Don't think I'll be seeing him again."

"What happened?" Emily was glad that Spencer had asked the question since she couldn't. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Paige stated, closing her locker and turning to face them. "Just turns out that he _really_ isn't my type." She gave a quick smile, her eyes flicking to Emily before she walked off down the hall.

Emily actually had to stop her jaw from dropping. She couldn't believe Paige had just said that. Only Emily understood the double meaning, but saying that in front of Spencer was bold by Paige's standards.

Spencer frowned slightly as Emily tried not to smile. Maybe Hanna was right; maybe Paige really was starting to come around.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

It was the next day. The weather was finally letting up, the sun was shining, the air warmer; Paige decided to study outside during her free period. She made her way to one of the lunch tables, about to sit down when she noticed Aria sitting staring into space a few tables over.

"Hey," she said, walking over. "Aren't you meant to be in class?"

It took Aria a moment to realise she was there. "Oh, yeah, I skipped." Paige frowned, sitting down beside her.

"Why? Everything alright?"

"Keeping secrets eats away at you and ends up destroying your relationship," she said suddenly, taking Paige completely off-guard. "And it sucks."

Paige cleared her throat, swallowing. "What do you mean?" She felt silly asking the question, since Aria couldn't have described the situation between her and Emily more perfectly even if she had tried, but she didn't get why Aria was saying that; as if she had experienced it first-hand, somehow.

Aria sighed. "Paige, I need to tell you something." She looked anxious, like she had been holding onto whatever this was for some time.

"What is it?" Paige asked, shifting closer to her in concern.

Paige gave her a minute to think, Aria seeming to be struggling to get the words out. Finally, she took in a deep breath, saying, "I've been seeing someone." Well, Hanna was right then. She hadn't brought it up in a while, but Paige remembered her being convinced that Aria was hiding the fact that she was seeing someone from them.

Paige raised her eyebrows in a silent question, asking who this person was. It was kind of funny that she and Aria seemed have been sharing a similar problem all of these months- dating someone that you couldn't tell people about.

"It's Ezra Fitz." Aria screwed up her face in anticipation of her reaction. Paige was confused. Was she meant to know who that was? The only person she knew with that second name was…

"Wait, Ezra Fitz as in _Mr_ Fitz?" Paige was sure she was mistaken as she said the words, but then Aria gave a slight nod. Paige could only sit there in shock, trying to digest the information. "Wait, what?"

"I know, I know," Aria said. "It's a lot to take in."

_Holy shit_. "You could say that. How long have you been seeing him?"

"Since before senior year started. I met him in this bar, and obviously I had no idea he was gonna be our teacher." She sighed. "We tried to call it off but it didn't work. Please don't give me that face."

Paige shook her head, not even realising that she'd been making a face. "Sorry, I'm just… processing." Aria was dating their English teacher. Aria was dating their _English teacher_. Suddenly Paige's own secret didn't seem as huge as she'd once thought.

"I'm in love with him, Paige. But I'm scared that people are going to find out about us and he'll lose his job. Hanna already knows; she caught us kissing in his car."

Paige didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Hanna knows?" Aria nodded, Paige giving a wry smile.

"What is it?" Aria asked.

Paige's heart began to beat rapidly in her chest, adrenaline coursing through her body. "It's funny, 'cause Hanna's been keeping a secret of mine as well."

"Really? What?" Aria's attention was completely on her now.

_Come on, you can do this. Aria's dating a teacher for god's sake._

She gripped the edge of the table, bracing herself. "I'm-" She inhaled a breath. "I'm gay." Aria's eyes widened slightly, but then she gave her a brief smile, pulling her into a hug. Paige sighed, her body relaxing. She grinned into Aria's shoulder. This felt surreal. She couldn't believe she had actually just managed to tell someone.

Aria pulled back, squeezing her shoulder. "I'm glad you told me."

"Me too," Paige smiled, feeling so happy that she could burst. _I did it!_

"Wait." Aria looked confused. "So what was going out with Troy all about then?"

Paige snorted. "God, I don't even know. A mistake, for sure." She cringed a little more each time she thought about it.

Aria gave her a sympathetic look. "So, Hanna knows?" Paige nodded. Aria's brow wrinkled in a frown. "Emily doesn't? I thought she'd be the first person you'd tell?"

Paige glanced down at the table. "Oh, she knows alright. But the weird thing is that I've never actually told her; not directly." Aria's frown deepened, not understanding.

"Well then how does she know?" Paige pursed her lips in a tight smile, waiting for the penny to drop. It took Aria a moment to read her expression, finally putting two and two together. "Oh. _Oh_." A surprised smile spread across her face as Paige laughed. "Wow, that's awesome. I'm happy for you guys."

Paige's grin faltered. "I wouldn't be too happy. We're kind of not on great terms right now."

"What happened?" Aria asked, her face falling.

"It's a long story." Aria must have sensed that she didn't want to talk about it, since she just squeezed her hand in comfort.  Yesterday had been much better than anticipated between them, all things considered. She guessed that was due to her incapability to stand by as Noel harassed Emily at her locker. Before she'd realised what she'd done, she'd thrown Noel across the floor. It'd had an unexpected upturn though; it had gotten the two of them talking, if only briefly. They both seemed to be trying to forget that Saturday night had ever happened, which was fine with Paige for now. She had to focus on coming out.

"But I'm trying to make things better," Paige continued. "Can we keep this just between us for now?" She wanted to do this right. She wanted to have no fear or anxiety left when she finally spoke to Emily, and that meant she had to tell her parents first.

"Sure," Aria replied. "Whatever you want."

She knew that telling Aria was a great start. She'd thought that telling anyone other than Emily would be impossible, yet here she was. She felt her confidence increasing.

_I really_ can _do this._ She smiled.

"So, tell me more about Mr Fitz- sorry, _Ezra_."

* * *

**_Emily_ **

"Paige!"

Paige turned to face her just as she was about to exit the locker room. "Yeah?" She walked back to Emily, raising her eyebrows.

"I was just wondering if you wanted a lift home?" She could tell that the question took Paige by surprise. To be honest, Emily hadn't even expected herself to be asking it. She just really wanted to have a proper conversation with Paige about what had happened, and to do that, they would need to have some time alone together.

"Uh, my bike's outside. But thanks for the offer." She smiled, looking like she wanted to say more but then turned to leave again.

"Paige, wait." Emily moved closer to her. "Can we talk, please? We can't keep pretending like the weekend never happened. I know you saw-" She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence, looking down at the floor between them, seeing Paige shifting her weight onto her other foot.

"I need to get home." Emily's heart sank. Paige didn't want to know; didn't want to hear her apology.

"Okay," she said quietly, turning away. She felt Paige standing there for a minute before finally hearing her retreating footsteps. Emily sat down on the bench beside her locker heavily, staring at the empty doorway that Paige had just disappeared through.

* * *

As she drove up to her house, she spotted Maya leaving her own. She hadn't seen her since Saturday, and seeing her now, she realised that Paige might not have been the only one she had hurt that night.

She exited the car, shouting after her. Maya seemed reluctant to stop when she saw her, but thankfully she did. Emily walked up to her. "Hey."

Maya shoved her hands into her jacket pockets. "Hey," was all she said. An awkward silence filled the air, Emily unsure how to start the conversation. In the end, all she could say was, "I'm sorry."

Maya gave her a smile that didn't exactly feel genuine. "Don't be."

"Look, Maya, I really am. I was so drunk and had no idea what I was doing-" Emily cut herself off, realising that what she was saying wasn't helping. How exactly was she meant to apologise for exploiting Maya's feelings for her; using them as some sort of twisted revenge against Paige for going to the party with Troy, revenge that she hadn't even wanted Paige to know about. It didn't make sense.

"It's okay, Emily. I was drunk too." Emily knew that Maya couldn't have possibly been as drunk as she had been, but she didn't say anything. "So, I don't suppose there's any chance you would want to go out with me some time? Alcohol free, I promise." She smiled.

Emily didn't even have to consider her answer. Although things with Paige might be well and truly over, her heart was still with her; would always be with her. "Maya, I'm in love with someone else. I'm sorry."

Maya didn't look like she had been expecting any other answer, somehow sensing that that would be Emily's reply. "Well, whoever she is, she's a lucky girl."

Emily smiled at the indirect compliment. "Hey, you'll find someone of your own soon. I know it."

Maya arched an eyebrow. "You psychic now?" Emily laughed, feeling relieved that Maya didn't seem to be taking it too hard. "See you around."

"Wait," Emily said quickly, stopping her from leaving. She had wanted to ask Maya a certain question for a while now. "How did you know? I mean, that night you came over for dinner. You seemed to know that I was gay. How?"

Maya smirked. "I saw the way you looked at her." Emily frowned, not knowing what Maya was talking about. "The photo of you and Paige beside your bed; I saw the way you looked at her."

"Oh."

"Bye, Emily."

Emily could only mutter a goodbye after Maya, feeling shocked at the answer. Had she really been that obvious? She eventually managed to make her way into her house, a small but sad smile on her face.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

Every time there was a stretch of silence in the room she started readying herself to tell them, but then her mom or dad would say something and she would feel like she had missed her moment, the courage she had built up in the still atmosphere disappearing, anxiety overtaking her.

She was in a constant state of stress for the next week, growing more and more frustrated by the day. She wished that she could just _say_ it already. She'd even gone to the effort of looking up things online to say in case she needed them, which she figured she probably would.

It got to the point where she actually had this big speech planned out in her head that she wanted to tell them, which only added to the pressure. She wanted to get it right.

As it turned out though, it had all been for nothing.

It was Wednesday. She'd just come home from practice to find her parents on the couch, eagerly sitting on the edge of their seats when she entered the living room.

"What?" she asked curiously. Her dad picked a letter up off the coffee table, handing it to her as she walked over to him. Her stomach dropped when she saw the logo in the corner of the envelope.

_University of Pittsburgh_.

She looked back at her parents, a nervous smile forming on her lips. "Well, open it then," her dad said impatiently, nodding his head at the letter.

She ripped open the envelope, pulling out the paper inside hastily, her eyes scanning over the writing. Relief washed over her, her shoulders slumping. "I got in. Full scholarship."

Her parents smiled, both of them pulling her into a hug, a small weight being lifted from her. Although her focus had been directed elsewhere the past month, occasionally she would allow herself to think about college and her future, wondering if and when she would hear from any of the scouts that had been at the swim meets, and according to Coach, some of their practices too (although she hadn't told any of the team that in case of stressing them out).

"Well done, Paige. We're really proud of you," her mom beamed, pulling back, her dad following.

"Congratulations," he smiled. "That's great."

"Thanks," she grinned, immediately wanting to phone Emily to tell her the news but feeling like she couldn't.

Half an hour later, they moved into the kitchen to have dinner, sitting down at the table in high spirits. It was short-lived however.

About five minutes in, her dad said, "They must really want you; they sent that letter out pretty early." Paige smiled again, happy that a school with a great swimming programme actually wanted to recruit _her_. "Have you heard anything back from Penn State yet?"

Paige shook her head, putting a forkful of salad into her mouth. Pittsburgh and Penn State were the main colleges that she was considering on going to. She knew that her dad had wanted her to have as many options as possible, but she would happily go to Pittsburgh if they were the only one to offer her anything.

"Well I hope you hear back from them too. We definitely can't be expecting anything from UConn, anyway, and you want to have more offers." He gave a quick shake of his head, looking down at his plate.

Paige bristled. "Well, I got into Pittsburgh, on a _full scholarship_ , so it doesn't really matter if I don't get offers from anywhere else, does it?"

"But you want to have more than one offer, Paige; don't settle."

Paige sighed, putting down her fork. "It's not settling if I actually want to go there."

"Still, it doesn't hurt to have options, you know that."

Paige felt the anger building. Not matter what she did, it was never enough. He always wanted more from her.

"Nick, let's just be happy that she got into Pittsburgh for now, please?" Her mom reached across the table, putting a hand on her forearm. "We're very proud of you for getting into Pittsburgh; that's a huge achievement."

Paige calmed slightly at her mom's reassurance, but then her dad kept going. "I'm just saying, maybe if you had been more focused at that last meet you could have secured at least another offer from UConn, and-"

"Shut up," Paige muttered under her breath.

His eyes went wide. "What did you just say?"

"I said shut up," Paige stated firmly, her gaze holding his. She was fed up; fed up of letting him put her down.

"You watch your mouth," he growled, his mouth forming in a tight line, jaw twitching.

"Nick, Paige, please," her mom pleaded, obviously trying to stop the inevitable argument from taking off, but Paige needed to get this off her chest.

"No," she started. "No matter what I do, it'll never be enough for you, will it? They'll always be something else, _someone_ else, that I need to beat. I've worked hard for this, and it paid off; I got into Pittsburgh. Sorry if that's not good enough for you, but I'm happy with it and that's all that matters. I'm only just realising that now." Tears spilled down her cheeks. She took in a breath. "And while we're at it, here's another thing that'll disappoint you; I'm gay."

And just like that, the words were out there, filling the room. She'd said them in the heat of the moment, her planned speech long forgotten, but that was it. She'd said them and she couldn't take them back.

A heavy silence followed, her parents sitting rigid in their chairs, shocked expressions on their faces. Then her dad leaned against the table, putting his head in his hands, a sob escaping her mom before she clapped a hand over her mouth, looking at Paige like she didn't even know her.

It was too much.

"I'm sorry," was all she could manage before standing up, her chair scraping loudly against the floor, leaving the kitchen and walking down the hall.

"Paige!" her dad shouted after her. She could hear him standing up. "Paige! Get back here!"

She was too scared to hear what he was going to say. She continued down the hall, heading for the front door, running as soon as she got outside.

"Paige!" she heard her dad shouting after her from the front door, but she kept going, not looking back.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

"Emily!"

Emily pulled out her earbuds so that she could hear what her mom was shouting from downstairs. "Yeah?"

"Can you come here a moment?" Emily sighed, putting down her pen on top of her notebook, rolling off of her bed and padding into the hall.

"What is it?" she asked from the top of the stairs, looking down at her mom, noticing that she looked concerned.

At first she thought it was going to be about her dad, but then she said, "That was Nick McCullers on the phone wanting to know if Paige was here."

Emily frowned, moving down the stairs. "What do you mean?"

"Well, he said that they got into some sort of argument, and Paige left a couple of hours ago. They have no idea where she went; she didn't even take her phone. He sounded worried."

Emily swallowed, a sick feeling settling in her stomach. "Well, did he try phoning Hanna's? Or Spencer's? Or-" Her mom put a hand on her arm as she reached the bottom of the stairs, trying to calm the obvious panic that was starting to fill her.

"He phoned here first; he says he's going to try phoning around and that he'll let us know when he finds her." Emily bit her lip in worry. "Honey, I'm sure she's fine. Don't worry."

Emily wished it were as easy as that. How could she _not_ worry? "Did he say what the argument was about?" It must have been bad if Paige had left the house ages ago and not come back.

Her mom shook her head sadly. Emily walked into the living room, looking through the curtains to see the darkening sky, the odd fleck of rain hitting the window. _Where are you, Paige?_

"Why don't I make us a cup of tea while we wait for Nick to phone back?"

Emily smiled gratefully at her mom over her shoulder. "Thanks." Her mom headed into the kitchen as Emily turned to stare back out of the window, willing Paige to appear safe and sound.

* * *

It was almost an hour later and there was still no sign of Paige. Emily kept reaching for her phone to call her before she remembered that Paige didn't even have her phone with her. That didn't stop her from checking in with Hanna, Spencer and Aria every five minutes though; they were just as worried as she was.

There was a flash of light, Emily looking up from her phone to see if her mom had noticed it or if it had just been her imagination, but sure enough, a few seconds later she heard a loud rumble of thunder that made her jump.

"Great," Emily whined, kneeling up on the couch as she looked out of the window again. "Paige is out there somewhere and there's a storm coming in."

"Emily, she might have found somewhere to stay-"

"No, Mom, you don't understand. She's not with any of us, or Caleb… I mean, I even checked with Sean; she's not there either." Emily couldn't think of anywhere else she would go. She had to be out there somewhere.

Another flash of lightning illuminated the street outside, another clap of thunder putting her on edge. After a moment, the sky opened up, rain crashing down hard, bouncing off of the pavement.

"Emily, come away from the window. It's not doing you any good." Emily let the curtain fall back into place, slumping down onto the couch, almost close to tears. It was starting to get late. Where was she? Her mom hugged her into her side, Emily closing her eyes, trying not to let the anxiety eat a hole through her stomach. _She's fine, she's fine_ , she chanted to herself.

It was twenty minutes later when she heard a knock on the front door. She shot up from the couch, running to the door and opening it. She sighed, the relief almost dizzying at seeing Paige standing on her porch.

She had her arms wrapped around herself, the t-shirt she was wearing completely soaked through, raindrops dripping down her face. Emily stepped out onto the porch, pulling Paige into a tight hug, feeling Paige's arms wrap around her back after a moment.

She could feel the water from Paige's t-shirt seeping into her own, but she didn't care. All that mattered was that Paige was here and that she was okay- physically, anyway.

She finally pulled back, running a thumb over Paige's cheek as she looked into her eyes. There was a sadness in them, but also a spark of something that Emily couldn't pinpoint.

She heard her mom clearing her throat behind her. She removed her hand from Paige's neck, turning to face her. "Emily, I need to phone Nick back."

"Can Paige stay here tonight?" She glanced back at Paige. She was staring at her feet, looking small and broken. Her mom looked like she was about to say no. "Please, Mom," she pleaded. Wasn't it obvious that Paige needed her?

Eventually she sighed. "Okay, as long as it's okay with Paige's parents." She walked back into the house, Emily turning back to Paige, seeing her shiver.

"Hey, come on," she said, gently taking her hand. Paige's fingers grasped her own tightly, letting Emily lead her up to her bedroom.

Paige stood still as Emily got a towel and wrung out the ends of her hair with it, ruffling the hair at the top of her head in an attempt to try and dry it slightly. She moved to her dresser, pulling out a t-shirt and pyjama pants for Paige to change into.

"Here," she said, laying the clothes on the bed. "Dry off properly and put these on; I'll put your clothes in the dryer." Paige seemed to be on autopilot, moving towards the bed, peeling her t-shirt over her head.

Emily eyes roamed over the exposed skin before she could stop herself, having to drag her gaze away. _This is definitely not the time, Emily._ "I'll be back in a minute." She left Paige in her room, hurrying downstairs to grab her phone, quickly sending a mass text to let everyone know that Paige was okay.

"Nick says that's fine." Her mom walked into the living room, frowning slightly. "He also said to tell Paige that he and Karen love her, and she shouldn't be scared to come home. Emily, what is this about?"

The air left Emily's lungs as she started to piece things together. Had Paige-? Did Paige-? "I don't know," she said quickly, making her way towards the stairs. She threw a 'thanks' over her shoulder, running up to her room.

She entered it carefully, seeing that Paige had crawled into her bed, her wet clothes thrown over the back of her chair. Forgetting about putting them in the dryer, Emily walked around to the other side of the bed ( _her_ side of the bed), sliding in beside Paige.

She turned on her side to face her, running a hand up her arm. "Paige, what happened?" She had to know.

Paige just stared at her for a moment before her face crumpled, her eyes closing as she started to cry. Emily shuffled in closer, Paige burying her nose into her neck and clinging onto her t-shirt, Emily's hand running soothingly up and down her back, letting Paige get it all out. Her heart was breaking more and more with every one of Paige's sobs.

She must have done it. She must have. It was the only thing that Emily could think of that would cause a reaction like this.

"Paige," she murmured after the sobs had quietened. "Your dad spoke to my mom on the phone, and he told her to tell you that both he and your mom love you and that you shouldn't be scared to go home. What does that mean?"

She scooted down on the bed so that she could see Paige's face properly. Her eyes were puffy, her nose red, but after a few seconds she sniffed, smiling slightly through her tears. "What? He said that?" Emily nodded, raking her fingers through Paige's hair still damp from the rain, desperate for her to tell her what had happened.

Paige's whole demeanour suddenly changed, giving a light laugh. Her hand ran up Emily's arm, coming to rest on her wrist that was against Paige's cheek. "I did it, Em," she smiled. "I came out."


	19. Chapter 19

**_Paige_ **

She felt Emily freeze under her fingertips, her mouth opening slightly as if she'd just had the breath knocked out of her.

"You did?" she gasped.

Paige nodded, fresh tears spilling down her face, this time from relief; happiness. Emily had just told her the impossible had happened; her parents knew she was gay, and they still loved her.

_They don't hate me._

"Paige…" Emily whispered, her eyes shining with unshed tears, stroking a thumb over Paige's wet cheek as she frowned slightly, obviously having trouble processing the information. "I don't even know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything," she murmured, studying Emily's face. It had been so long since she had been this close to her; too long. She leaned in to brush Emily's lips with her own, unable to wait a moment longer. She felt Emily's hand move to the back of her neck, pulling her in closer, Paige's hand running up and down Emily's arm.

They kissed softly, slowly. Paige's head was spinning, feeling so light that she was surprised she hadn't floated up to the ceiling. She couldn't believe that she was here, in Emily's bed, kissing her after just coming out to her parents. It hadn't quite sunk in yet how huge this actually was, both for herself, and for them.

She felt Emily smiling against her mouth, finally pulling back and looking at her in amazement, laughing. "I'm sorry; it's just- this is incredible."

Paige ran her hand through Emily's hair. "I know." She kissed her again, not ever wanting to go by a minute again without doing so.

Emily's palm rested flat against her cheek, Paige's eyes half-closing at the contact. "I'm so happy for you." Her voice suddenly sounded choked up, full of emotion. Paige caught a tear with her thumb as it leaked from the corner of Emily's eye, Emily pulling her into a hug as she started to cry.

Paige ran a hand over her back in comfort, seeing that this whole drama had obviously taken its toll on her too. "Sorry," Emily sniffed after a few minutes, shifting back to look at her. "This is just a lot to take in. I mean, a few hours ago I thought you were totally done with me, and now-" She exhaled sharply, smearing the tears with the back of her hand.

"What?" Paige asked, her eyebrows knitting in confusion. "Why would you think that?" In what world would she ever be done with Emily?

"'Why?'" Emily said incredulously. "Because I know you saw me, Paige. With Maya." She hiccupped, looking away, ashamed. "And then when you didn't want to talk to me, I thought-"

"Hey." Paige ran a hand over Emily's shoulder, coming to rest on her neck, nudging her nose against Emily's to get her to look back at her. "The only reason I didn't talk to you that day was because I needed to tell my parents first. I wanted to do things- _this_ \- right. Actually, the day you asked to talk was the day that I told Aria."

It took Emily a second to register what she'd said, a surprised smile spreading over her lips. "You told Aria too?"

"I guess it was sort of like a trial run," Paige said.

Emily shook her head but looked happier than she had a moment ago. "I don't get it, though. What changed? What made you decide to come out?"

Paige reached down to grasp Emily's hand, intertwining their fingers with a sigh. "Seeing you with Maya killed me, Em." Emily looked away again. "It made me want to gouge my eyes out, but seeing you- it was like a flip was switched in my brain. It made me realise something." Paige waited for Emily to meet her gaze before continuing. "It made me realise that the only thing scarier than coming out was losing you." Her voice cracked, her throat closing up.

Emily gave her such a warm look that Paige could feel it all the way to her heart. "I love you so much."

Paige sighed against Emily's lips as they met her own, their tears mingling as she murmured, "I love you, too." All the pain, all the suffering; it had been worth it for this very moment. She was free. She was kissing Emily.

Everything was perfect.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

There was a loud clap of thunder that startled her awake. She was momentarily disoriented before the evening's memories came flooding back to her, hugging the warm body in front of her closer. Paige grumbled in her sleep, Emily smiling into the back of her hair.

They had kissed for around half an hour before they had heard her mom coming up the stairs. Emily had quickly flicked off her bedside lamp, Paige rolling to face away from her. The last thing they needed was for her mom to walk in on them, realise they were together, and make Paige sleep downstairs.

Thankfully she didn't check in on them, but continued down the landing to her own room. Emily had cuddled into Paige's back and they must have fallen asleep.

She shifted, looking behind her at the alarm clock. It was now half two in the morning, the storm obviously rolling back in again as a flash of lightning lit up the room, followed by another rumble of thunder. Her head flopped back onto the pillow, listening to the calming noise of the pouring rain outside.

She closed her eyes, trying to go back to sleep, but she was uncomfortably warm. She realised that she was still wearing jeans, the material digging painfully into her hip. She slowly removed her hand from around Paige's waist, slipping out of the bed to take them off, the cool air offering relief to her heated skin.

She hesitated a second before reaching behind her to unclasp her bra, sliding it out from underneath her t-shirt. Feeling much more comfortable, she turned back to the bed, seeing Paige roll onto her back in her sleep.

Emily smiled as she lay back down, looking at Paige fondly, unable to resist running a finger down her cheek. She looked so peaceful; Emily didn't think her heart had ever felt so full.

She hadn't wanted to let herself believe that Paige had actually come out; _couldn't_ let herself believe. But then she'd said the words. _I did it, Em. I came out._ Emily had thought she must have lost consciousness for a moment; then she felt Paige, solid under her fingertips, her eyes shining in the glow of the bedside lamp, and had realised that this was actually happening. Her dream was becoming reality.

And Paige had even told Aria! Emily couldn't believe that's what Paige had been doing this past week- working up the courage to come out to her parents. She had genuinely believed that the whole Maya thing had ruined them for good, especially after Paige hadn't wanted to talk to her about it.

Another loud rumble filled the air, Paige stirring, her head lolling in Emily's direction as she cracked an eye open. She lifted her arm so that Emily could cuddle into her, Emily resting her head on her shoulder. Emily's hand smoothed over Paige's stomach under the bedcovers. "You okay?" Paige mumbled.

Emily nuzzled against Paige's neck. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?"

"Aren't you scared of thunder?" Paige linked their fingers together, bringing them up so she could kiss Emily's hand.

Emily smiled. "What? No. Why would I be?" She leaned up on her elbow, looking down at Paige.

"I clearly remember you telling me that you were," Paige replied sleepily.

Emily suddenly realised what Paige was referring to. "Wait, are you talking about that time when we were like, fourteen? And we had a sleepover at yours?"

"Yeah," Paige nodded. "There was that storm; you told me that you were scared and asked me to hold your hand. Did you get over your fear then?" Emily laughed quietly, Paige smiling slowly in confusion. "What?"

Emily dipped her head to kiss her gently. "Paige, I was never scared of thunder. I didn't know why at the time, but really, I just wanted to hold your hand." She remembered how holding Paige's hand had sent her heart beating wildly against her ribcage, butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Of course, that had been followed by the confusion over why she had felt the need to lie about being scared of thunder and why she had lay wide awake in the darkness long after Paige had fallen asleep. She must have pushed it to the back of her mind, because she remembered that the next day she had felt totally fine again.

Paige's eyes widened, a lazy grin spreading across her face. "That was really sneaky, Em." Emily laughed again, cupping Paige's face and pressing their lips together once more, pulling her thigh up to rest across Paige's waist. Paige's hand instantly slid across it, stilling in surprise. "Where did your jeans go?"

"I was too hot," Emily murmured against her lips, slipping her tongue into her mouth to indicate that she didn't want to talk right now. Paige took the cue, her teeth grazing Emily's lip as she raked her nails lightly over the skin of Emily's thigh.

A shiver ran through Emily at the touch. When they had kissed earlier, it hadn't been so much a sexual thing as it had been about wanting to be close to one another. Now though, Emily's body hummed against Paige. They had been apart far too long. Emily craved more of her; needed more.

She slowly trailed her hand down Paige's neck, stroking a finger over her collarbone and down the centre of her chest. She flattened her hand against Paige's stomach before moving her hand back up, rubbing a palm over a breast, all the while kissing her slowly and deeply. She felt Paige's nipple harden beneath her hand through the thin t-shirt she was wearing, circling it with her thumb.

Paige sighed against her mouth, her hand sliding further up the back of Emily's thigh, smoothing over her underwear. It was all extremely slow, as if every kiss, every movement, was calculated, planned. Emily felt a twinge between her legs.

She ran her fingers lightly over Paige's nipple, pinching it gently before moving her hand down to grasp the hem of Paige's t-shirt and tugging it upwards. Paige removed her hand from her ass, lifting her arms up and her back off the bed so that Emily could pull it off completely, throwing it out of the way.

Her hand roamed over Paige's naked torso as their mouths met again, taking her time, wanting to feel every inch of skin that she could. Paige's hand returned to its previous position, this time slipping into the back of her underwear, squeezing her ass softly. Emily couldn't stop the quiet groan that escaped past her lips and into Paige's mouth, heat beginning to pool low in her stomach.

Emily flipped the bedcovers back, Paige's pale skin illuminated in the darkness by a flash of lightning, causing Emily's mouth to go dry; she was so beautiful. Emily raked her nails up her toned abdomen, her fingers moving to play with her left nipple again as she placed soft kisses along Paige's jaw, whose head tilted sideways to give Emily better access to her neck.

Emily rolled the nipple between her fingers as she sucked lightly on Paige's pulse point, Paige squirming beneath her, a noise getting stuck in the back of her throat. Emily trailed her kisses downwards, shifting slightly so that she could take Paige's other nipple between her lips, swirling her tongue around it, biting and sucking gently as Paige gasped. Emily could happily do this all night.

After about five minutes though, Emily could sense Paige needed her elsewhere. Paige removed her hand from inside the back of Emily's underwear, gripping the side of her neck to pull her mouth up to hers again.

"Em," Paige whispered, nipping at Emily's lip.

Emily pulled back slightly, her gaze locked with Paige's as she trailed her hand down, lazily stroking the soft skin below Paige's belly button. "You'll need to be quiet, okay?" Paige nodded as Emily continued to tickle over her skin, her fingers grazing the waistband of Paige's pyjama pants. She felt Paige's legs spreading wider beneath the covers.

Paige's hand tightened on her shoulder as she shifted her thigh that was still across Paige's waist off of her, sliding her hand slowly down into Paige's underwear, finding that taking it this slow was obviously as much a turn on for Paige as it was for her. Paige's eyes closed as Emily stroked a finger up and down her wetness slowly, Emily enjoying the slight buck of Paige's hips every time she traced over her clit.

Under normal circumstances she knew that Paige would be snarling at her to stop teasing and go faster, but she seemed to be enjoying the pace that things were going at. Emily curled her hand down further into her underwear, a finger slipping easily into Paige. Emily heard a sharp intake of breath beside her ear, turning to kiss Paige as she added a second finger, the heel of her hand pressing against Paige's clit. Paige ground against it, her nails digging into Emily's forearm as her other hand gripped at the small of her back.

Even above the faint sound of the rain outside, Emily could hear the slick sound of Paige's wetness as she pulled her fingers out before pushing them back in as deep as she could at this angle. Paige's legs were spread so wide that the fabric of her underwear and pyjamas was constricting Emily's hand. She kicked the covers all the way off of them, withdrawing her fingers from Paige to tug the garments down. Paige lifted her hips, helping Emily slide them off.

Emily lay her head down on the pillow, Paige's head turning to face her as her legs fell open again, their eyes locking as Emily moved her hand back to Paige's centre, this time putting direct focus on Paige's clit.

They stared into each other's eyes as Emily's fingers worked over her; Emily had never felt more in tune, more connected, with anyone; ever.

She heard Paige's breathing becoming laboured, watching as she bit her lip to stifle a moan. Resting their foreheads together, Emily increased her pace, circling Paige's clit quickly, rubbing in fast, firm strokes as Paige began to tremble. Paige kissed Emily as she came, her back arching off the bed, Emily's fingers continuing to move through her wetness.

Paige's body relaxed as she smiled against Emily's mouth, turning onto her side to face her as Emily removed her hand, Paige cupping her face. "I love you." Paige kissed the tip of her nose.

Emily's hand ran over Paige's ass, pulling her in close, their legs tangling together. "I love you, too." Emily was so content in that moment that she almost forgot about the throbbing between her own thighs until Paige reached down to rub her fingers over the front of her underwear. She caught Emily off guard, meaning she was unable to stop the relatively loud moan that filled the room.

Both of them froze, looking at each other with wide eyes, Emily sending a silent prayer that her mom hadn't heard. The storm was still going, she noticed; with any luck her mom would have tuned out her surroundings and be sound asleep.

After a minute they both relaxed. She figured that if her mom had suspected that anything was awry she would have come in by now to see what was going on.

Paige grinned, rolling on top of her. "What happened to being quiet?"

"You surprised me," Emily smiled, her legs wrapping around Paige, heels digging into the back of her thighs as they began to kiss again. Paige reached a hand down to slide up Emily's t-shirt, Emily rising up momentarily so she could get it over her head.

She felt herself get even wetter as Paige's bare breasts brushed against her own, Paige's hand smoothing over her ribs as she kissed along her jaw.

She palmed Emily's breast, nibbling down her neck and along her collarbone, her hair spilling over her shoulder, tickling Emily's skin. Emily arched up into her touch, Paige's fingers teasing a nipple, her mouth trailing down her chest, sucking hard on the swell of a breast. Emily groaned quietly, knowing that she would find a mark there tomorrow.

Finally, Paige swiped the flat of her tongue over Emily's nipple, Emily clutching desperately at Paige's back, feeling Paige's wetness brushing against her thigh. Paige flicked the nipple repeatedly with her tongue before sucking it into her mouth, Emily's hips doing their best to buck up under Paige's weight.

As much as Emily loved the attention Paige was giving her breasts, she was starting to reach her breaking point. The ache between her legs was getting unbearable. She took Paige's hand that was still on a nipple and moved it down, rubbing it over her clit, her heels digging in further to the back of Paige's legs.

Paige moved back up to her mouth, smiling. Emily ran her hand through Paige's hair as they kissed gently, Paige's fingers tracing ever so lightly over her clit through her underwear, so lightly that Emily almost couldn't feel it. "Paige…" she warned.

Paige laughed quietly, her lips trailing down her neck, down in between her breasts, down her abdomen. She placed the softest of kisses to Emily's hip bones, her nose trailing over the skin below her belly button. Emily had to remind herself to breathe.

Paige hooked her fingers around the sides of her girl boxers, pulling them down slowly, Emily feeling Paige's warm breath against the crease of her thigh. She fully expected Paige to move back up her body, but Paige was just full of surprises tonight, gently kissing the inside of her thigh.

She tensed, not sure that this was the best idea. She had never been anywhere near quiet when Paige had gone down on her in the past, but she couldn't form the words to get Paige to stop; she wanted it too badly, her clit throbbing in anticipation.

She reached over to grab a pillow from Paige's side of the bed, ready to press it to her face if she needed to. She saw Paige smiling, dipping her head to nip at the skin of her thigh, making her twitch.

Paige moved her mouth up, trailing her tongue over the apex of her thigh, Emily inhaling sharply. Paige's mouth latched onto the sensitive skin there, sucking gently, a hand running across Emily's stomach. Emily was sure that Paige knew she was driving her crazy, feeling Paige actually _snort_ with laughter. Emily couldn't help smiling through her frustration.

After what felt like an eternity, she finally felt Paige's lips ghost over her clit, a choked sigh escaping her as her hips jerked off the bed. Paige's hands clamped around her thighs tightly as she pressed her mouth firmly against her. She felt Paige's moan vibrate through her clit, having to muffle a cry against the pillow, biting hard into the material.

Paige moved her lips against her, her tongue slowly stroking over her, repeatedly circling over her clit before moving down to dip inside of her. Emily gripped the pillow tightly, the sensation almost too much but at the same time, never wanting it to end.

Paige's hand moved under her, squeezing her ass as she continued to lick at her. Emily hesitantly removed the pillow from her face, wanting to watch what Paige was doing.

Paige's eyes looked up, locking onto hers as she latched her lips firmly around Emily's clit, her tongue flicking back and forth over it quickly. Emily buried her hand deep in Paige's hair as she felt herself beginning to tense, her stomach beginning to tighten, Paige increasing the pace even further, not glancing away from Emily's eyes.

Emily went rigid, her back arching; she shuddered against Paige's mouth as she brought her down with strokes of her tongue, Emily's body eventually going completely limp on the bed, her heart pounding.

Her eyes fell closed, basking in the bliss of her orgasm. She felt Paige moving back up her body, kissing her with a smile, Emily automatically kissing away her own wetness from Paige's chin.

Paige reached for the covers, pulling them up and over them, flopping down beside Emily, her hand smoothing over her stomach. Emily turned towards her, Paige's hand moving to her face as she kissed her softly. "I forget to tell you something," she murmured.

"What?" Emily asked, pulling back slightly to see a smile spreading across Paige's lips.

"I'm gay; like, _really_ gay."

Emily laughed, butterflies in her stomach. She couldn't believe Paige had just said that so easily; _joked_ about it, even. It all felt surreal. They kissed again, Emily thinking she must have reached some Nirvana-like state of happiness.

Paige stroked Emily's cheek with her thumb. "Em, will you be my girlfriend? Officially, I mean."

Emily's heart inflated, her chest expanding. "You have to ask?" They both grinned, Paige nuzzling against her nose, Emily's fingers tracing softly over Paige's back. They lay like that for a few minutes, Emily breaking the silence by asking, "So, what actually happened then? How did you tell your parents?"

Paige opened her eyes with what looked like great effort, obviously ready to fall asleep. "Not at all like how I planned. I had this whole big speech in my head but I ended up just throwing it out there while my dad was being an asshole about swimming and colleges again." Emily wasn't surprised that that was how things had played out, that Paige had said it in the heat of the moment. "It wasn't the way I wanted to do it, but at least it's over." She smiled. "I can't believe it's actually _over_."

Emily's hand trailed upwards, her fingers tangling into Paige's hair at the nape of her neck. "Freeing, huh?"

"You could say that," she grinned. "Oh, and by the way, I got offered a full scholarship for Pittsburgh."

Emily gasped, slapping Paige lightly on the arm. "Paige!" she whispered loudly. "How are you only just telling me this now?" She beamed, pressing a kiss to Paige's lips.

Paige laughed. "Well I was kind of distracted."

"That's amazing," Emily sighed, tracing her thumb along the edge of Paige's ear. "I'm so proud of you." Paige looked away bashfully, smiling.

"Have you heard anything yet?" Paige inquired.

Emily shook her head. "Nope." She wasn't going to get down about that yet though, there was still plenty of time. Right now, she was just pleased for Paige and wanted to enjoy the moment. Thinking about their future, about the fact that they might be attending different colleges- well, she'd rather not think about that right now.

Paige's smile dimmed slightly. "Oh. I was kinda hoping you'd heard and just hadn't told me."

Emily frowned. "Paige, if I'd heard anything you'd be the first to know; trust me."

"Well, you might not have wanted to tell me because of- you know, how things have been recently." Paige looked sad, Emily understanding exactly what Paige was feeling. The past weeks had been painful for both of them. Emily's fingers absent-mindedly traced over Paige's shoulder, Paige's thumb stroking her hip, both lost in thought.

"I've missed you so much," Emily said quietly.

Paige cupped her face. "Me too; not being able to call you or speak to you whenever I wanted was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through." Emily kissed her softly. "I'm sorry, Em. I wish I could have come out sooner."

"Hey, you weren't ready, and that's okay." She gave Paige a small smile. "You're here now, that's what matters."

"And I'm sorry about the whole Troy thing, you were right about what you said about me being fake; I should never have gone out with him. Or kissed him- I'm sorry." Emily wasn't shocked that Paige had kissed him; she'd had a feeling somehow. She felt a twinge of jealousy, kissing Paige again, harder this time, trying to get rid of any remnants of Troy. She pulled back suddenly.

"Wait, when did I say anything about you being fake?"

Paige's brow wrinkled. "At the party; you don't remember?" Emily tried to cast her mind back, but it was all a blurry mess. She hadn't even realised she'd spoken to Paige that night. She shook her head, Paige letting out a small snort. "That really shouldn't surprise me. I literally had to grab the cup out of your hand to stop you drinking."

"Oh god." Emily clapped a hand to her face. "I'm so embarrassed. What exactly did I say to you?"

"Uh, what was it? 'Go back to Troy. Go back to being a fake, it's what you're best at.'" Emily slowly removed her hand to look back at Paige, seeing a wry smile on her face.

"Paige, I'm _so_ sorry."

Paige linked their fingers together, resting their hands between them. "Don't be. Everything that happened that night led to this moment here, so I guess it was all worth it." She kissed Emily's fingers, looking at her affectionately.

Emily sighed, rubbing her foot against Paige's, tucking their hands under her chin. "I love you."

Paige pressed her lips to her forehead, Emily's eyes closing as the drowsiness began to seep in. "I love you, too."

* * *

**_Paige_ **

She awoke to the feeling of Emily's naked legs intertwined with her own, an arm draped over her waist, her nose pressed into Emily's neck. She pressed a kiss to the skin of her throat before leaning up to check the time. It was almost half six.

Her head fell back to the pillow, taking in the sight in front of her. She smiled, seeing Emily's tousled hair, her mouth hanging slightly open. Paige placed a gentle kiss to her bottom lip, her hand running over Emily's bare hip. Thinking about it now, they should probably have thrown their clothes back on before falling asleep just in case Emily's mom checked in on them.

Emily stirred but didn't wake. Paige leaned in again, sucking Emily's lip gently in between her own, running her hand down the back of Emily's thigh before smoothing up over her ass, squeezing lightly.

A small noise escaped the back of Emily's throat, Paige feeling her lips starting to respond, her hand stroking up Paige's side. They kissed lazily for a few minutes before Paige pulled back, feeling confident that there was a dopey expression gracing her face. "Morning."

"Morning," Emily grinned, arching her back in a stretch. Paige brought her hand up to trace over one of Emily's eyebrows with her thumb, Emily's eyes fluttering closed, a smile still on her lips. Emily reached up to take her hand, sliding it down to place a kiss into her palm. Paige felt like she was floating again.

She sighed. "As much as I wish we could stay here all day, I should probably get going." Emily pouted, Paige quickly kissing it away. "I need to have a shower before school, and I'll need to talk with my parents."

Emily must have sensed her spike of anxiety, squeezing her hand in comfort. "Want me to come with?"

"What, for the shower or to talk to my parents?" she joked, Emily rolling her eyes. "No, it's okay. I think I should do this alone, but thank you." She wondered if she could ever convey to Emily just how grateful she was, not only for the offer, but for everything.

"Okay, if that's what you want." Paige gave her a brief smile. "Hey, I'm sure it'll be fine. They love you, remember?"

Paige took in a deep breath, trying to hold onto that fact; trying to get it out of her head that they would change their minds and decide she was an abomination that they didn't want living in their house after all.

She gave Emily a quick peck before rolling out of the bed, missing Emily's warmth instantly. Remembering where she had left her underwear, she lifted the bottom of the bedcovers, rooting around until she found them scrunched up inside the pyjama pants Emily had lent her.

Emily was leaning up on her elbow, watching her every move from the bed. Her roaming eyes would have once made Paige blush, but now she just reveled in having Emily's gaze on her naked body.

She reluctantly pulled on her clothes, still damp from last night, shivering slightly as the cold fabric clung to her skin. Emily noticed, telling her to take a hoodie from her dresser. She smiled as she saw the old hoodie she had given Emily months ago in the middle drawer, running her finger over it but opting to take one of Emily's instead.

She walked back to the bed, leaning over to give Emily one final kiss before she left. Just as she turned to leave, Emily grasped her hand. "Wait, what do you want me to tell my mom when she asks about last night?"

Paige felt nervous as she thought about it, but there was a stroke of excitement underlying it. "Tell her the truth."

Emily grinned shyly. "Okay."

"And tell her I said thanks for letting me stay over."

Emily pulled her down for one last kiss. "See you at school."

"See you at school," she echoed with a smile, leaving the room with a bounce in her step.

* * *

Her parents were still asleep when she got home, which she was thankful for since she was acutely aware that she smelled like sex and really needed to shower.

She kept smiling sporadically as she remembered the night before. She was feeling extremely tired due to the lack of sleep, but it was the best kind of tired. Reconnecting with Emily had felt better than she ever could have imagined. She had her back and there was no way she would ever let go of her again.

She dressed after drying her hair, tensing at the sound of her parents moving around in the kitchen. She stood up, wringing her hands in front of her, trying to calm her building nerves. She took controlled breaths. _It's fine. You're fine._

Her phone buzzed. She picked it up from the bed, seeing a message from Emily.

_I love you :-)_

Paige stared at the screen, grinning from ear to ear. She typed back a quick _I love you too_ before grabbing her bag and making her way downstairs, feeling much more confident with Emily's words behind her.

She walked into the kitchen, her parents stopping mid-conversation. "Hi," she said quietly, looking down at the floor. Her mom was suddenly hugging her, Paige's arms going around her automatically in shock. She glanced over her mom's shoulder to see her dad leaning against the kitchen counter, giving her a flicker of a smile that was so brief she wondered if she'd imagined it.

Her mom suddenly pulled back, anger in her eyes. "What were you thinking, Paige? We had no idea where you were; phoning up everyone we could think of to see if they knew!"

Paige shrunk back, looking at her feet once more. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean- I didn't-" She sighed in frustration, not entirely sure what she was trying to say. "I'm sorry." She moved to sit at the table, feeling awkward standing there. Her mom and dad followed after a second, Paige finding it hard to meet their eyes.

"I'm sorry," her dad said, breaking the silence, Paige looking up in confusion. Those certainly weren't words she had ever heard her dad say to her before. "For yesterday- I shouldn't have even been thinking about other offers never mind going on about them; not straight after you just got offered a place at Pittsburgh." He sighed heavily. "I just want you to have as many options as possible; I want the very best for you."

"I know, Dad," Paige mumbled. "It's just too much pressure sometimes, and I guess I snapped." He gave her a rueful smile.

"You know, your coach warned me this would happen." She raised her eyebrows, causing him to continue. "She told me that if I kept pushing you, that you'd reach your breaking point. I tried to take her advice, but I guess old habits die hard." He paused, Paige feeling weird that they were talking like this; they were never this open. "I know that you've worked incredibly hard to get where you are, and I'm sorry if I made you think that I wasn't proud of you, Paige, because I am; very much so."

A lump formed in Paige's throat. "Really?" she managed to choke out. He nodded, reaching over to squeeze her hand. She smiled, giving a light laugh, happy that she was finally getting the recognition from her dad that she deserved. She'd never thought she'd see the day.

She looked over to her mom, seeing a smile on her face. But then it slipped, an anxious expression appearing. "About the other thing you said…" Paige shifted uncomfortably. "Did you mean it? Or was it just something you-"

"I meant it, Mom," she stated firmly, not willing to back down now that the words were out there.

"And you're sure?" It pained Paige to see the hope on her mom's face; like she were wishing Paige was going to tell her that she _wasn't_ sure and that maybe it was just a phase. Paige's gaze flicked over to her dad, seeing that he was looking down at the table, his face not giving anything away.

"I've never been surer," she said clearly, not wanting to leave any doubt in their minds. They descended into an awkward silence, the tear rolling down her mom's cheek not escaping Paige's notice. She swallowed, wanting to cry herself. She didn't like seeing her mom upset, but in all honesty she had expected her parent's reactions to be much worse; she could handle a few tears. "I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's the way it is." She considered telling them about Emily, but figured that might be too much to take in all at once. She didn't want to push them too hard too fast.

Her dad stood up, Paige fully expecting him to leave the room- which he did, but not before placing a quick kiss to her forehead. Her mom sniffed, standing and making her way to the kitchen counter, asking her if she wanted any breakfast.

A few tears leaked down Paige's face, unable to believe that this was how things had turned out for her. No, it wasn't perfect; her parents weren't beaming with pride that their only child was gay, but they didn't hate her for it either. Maybe she would have to deal with them not talking about that area of her life for a while like Emily had had to go through with her mom, but Paige could deal with that.

She wiped her face with the back of her hand, going to help her mom make breakfast with a small smile on her lips.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

"Paige said to tell you thanks for letting her stay last night," Emily said as she entered the living room where her mom was sat on the couch.

"Oh, she left already?"

Emily sat down. "Yeah, she had to get back."

Her mom nodded, staring off into space for a moment. She cleared her throat, turning to look at her again. "So, did you find out what was wrong?"

Emily took in a breath, excitedly nervous about finally being able to willingly tell someone about her and Paige. "Well, that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about." Her mom gave her an expectant look. "Paige and I- well," Emily started, unsurely. "I love her, Mom," she blurted out.

She studied her face, waiting for the information to hit. Her mom eventually sighed, saying, "I know."

Emily realised that she might not have been clear. "No, I mean that I'm _in_ love with her, and she's in love with me. We're together; dating."

"I know," her mom repeated, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

Emily was seriously confused. "What do you mean? How do you know?" Her mind started racing, praying that her mom hadn't actually heard anything that had gone on in her room last night. She felt her face heating up at the thought.

"That day Paige came over when you had the flu; I walked into your room to find you both asleep, and something about the way you were lying- I just knew."

Emily's mouth opened slightly, genuinely shocked. So Paige had been right; her mom had seen them. "Wait, why didn't you say anything then?" Her mom hadn't even known she was gay at that point, making it even more surprising that she hadn't questioned her about it.

She shook her head sadly. "Because I didn't want to believe it, Emily. I pushed it to the back of my mind and tried to forget about it; denial, I guess." Emily tried not to let the words upset her, knowing that her mom was in a much better place now in regards to accepting her for who she was. And, she noted, if she had said anything, that would have been another disaster to add to the pile; having to worry about both her mom and Hanna knowing about her and Paige would have been a nightmare.

"Wow; I had no idea you knew."

"I also noticed that Paige hasn't been around much lately?" her mom added, raising her eyebrows.

Emily gave a sad smile. "Yeah, we were going through some stuff, but it's better now." Her mom patted her hand, standing up.

"Well, that's good, honey." Emily was amazed that she was acting so calmly about her having a girlfriend, but she guessed that was due to the fact that this hadn’t been a surprise, and also it was Paige; someone she knew and liked. Just as she was about to leave the room, her mom turned to say, "Oh, and I know that I let Paige stay in your room last night because she was upset, but," she shifted awkwardly, looking embarrassed. "I think Paige will need to sleep down here or on the air mattress in the future."

Emily blushed, but felt insanely happy; her mom was saying that Paige _could_ stay over in the future, which was more than Emily had ever expected of her. She had come so far. "Thanks, Mom," she smiled. "Really."

* * *

**_Paige_ **

"Em!"

Paige watched as Emily looked around trying to locate the sound of her voice. She grinned when she spotted her, walking across the parking lot to the stands where Paige was chaining up her bike. "Hi."

"Hey," Paige smiled, squinting up at her in the sun, the sky now a clear blue after the storm last night. She stood up from where she had been crouching, both of them standing there semi-awkwardly. Paige didn't know how to greet her. She wanted to kiss her but there was something holding her back- probably the fact that it still hadn't sunk in that she could actually kiss Emily now, right here, in front of the school; in front of all the students walking past.

She decided just to start small, pulling Emily in for a hug, turning her nose into her hair. They broke apart, Paige giving a small laugh, Emily looking at her so softly that Paige almost just gave in to the urge to kiss her.

"So, how did it go this morning?" Emily asked as they started to walk.

"Nothing like how I thought it would go like." She turned to Emily, smiling slightly. "My dad actually _apologised_ for the pressure he's been putting on me. I mean, who'd have thought that would ever happen?"

Emily brushed her hand with her own. "Well, good; I'm glad. You're amazing and don't deserve that pressure." Paige felt warm all over at Emily's words. "And what about… the other thing?" Paige noticed Emily looking around them, obviously out of habit. It was going to take some time before they both adjusted to not having to be secretive.

"Well, my mom cried a little, my dad didn't really say anything; but they don't hate me and I expected much worse so I'm feeling pretty good right now."

Emily smiled. "That's great, Paige. I just- I still can't believe it."

"I know what you mean," she responded as they arrived at their lockers. Emily came to stand beside her instead of going to her own, Paige smiling.

"So, I told my mom about us." Paige looked at her, seeing that her eyes were shining with happiness. Paige's heart skipped a beat, knowing that it was because Emily could finally tell people that she was dating her. It was like Emily was _proud_ to be dating her, and it blew her mind.

"And? What did she say?"

"Well, actually, I don't know how you're gonna feel about this, but as it turns out, she already knew." Paige's eyes widened.

"Oh god, don't tell me she heard us last night, Em. I think I'll die." Emily laughed loudly, Paige thinking it was the best sound in the world.

"No, don't worry, although that's where my mind went first too. No, she found out that day you came over when I had the flu. You were right; she did come to check on me and saw us sleeping."

"I knew it!" Paige stated, shaking her head. "I told you she was acting way weird with me that day."

Emily placed a hand on her forearm, looking slightly concerned. "You're not mad, are you? I honestly didn't know, I figured she would have at least said something-"

"Em," Paige said, turning to face her. "Of course I'm not mad. You didn't know and it doesn't matter now anyway." She rested her hand atop of Emily's on her arm, smiling gently. "Okay?"

Emily's fingers twitched under her hand. "Okay." Paige closed her locker, both of them moving over to Emily's. "That's our cover blown though," Emily said with a playful pout. "She actually said that you won't be able to sleep in my bed anymore when you stay over."

Paige felt her face reddening, but she smiled. "Wow, awkward." Emily nodded in agreement. "Well, that just means I'll need to sneak into your bed in the middle of the night then." Paige was only half-joking.

Emily giggled. "Well I'm on board with that." They grinned at each other, their eyes breaking contact when Hanna appeared at their side.

"Wow, are you guys actually smiling at each other?" she said sarcastically, but looking pleasantly surprised. "What the hell happened last night?" She focused her gaze on Paige. "Why did you go all MIA on us?"

Paige's eyes flitted to Emily, seeing her give an encouraging nod. Paige took in a breath, looking at Hanna as she said, "I came out to my parents." Whatever Hanna had been expecting her to say obviously hadn't been that going by the look on her face. Her shock was almost comical.

"Oh my god," she said, reaching out and gripping her arm. "Paige! Oh my god!" She pulled her into a hug, Paige laughing at her reaction. "That's amazing! I'm so happy for you." She pulled back, looking back and forth between them. "So what does this mean? Are you guys back together?"

"Yes, Hanna," Emily smiled, a slight roll of her eyes. "We're back together." Hanna squealed, this time pulling them both in for a hug. They grinned at each other over Hanna's shoulders.

Paige felt so incredibly happy. A few weeks ago she would never have thought this level of happiness would have been possible for her. She felt a tug on her hand, seeing Hanna had moved off down the hall, Emily pulling at her hand to get her to follow.

She smiled. She could definitely get used to this.


	20. Chapter 20

**_Paige_ **

She walked into the cafeteria, her eyes gravitating instantly towards Emily. She smiled at the sight of her in the midst of chatting animatedly with Hanna and Aria at the lunch table. She wasn't even _doing_ anything; just talking, smiling, but Paige still felt her breath catching in her throat.

She made her way towards them, Hanna shifting sideways so that she could sit beside Emily. Emily's hand immediately covered her knee under the table as she sat down, both of them turning to grin at each other, Paige facing forwards to see Aria raising her eyebrows, a surprised smile on her face.

Paige laughed, dipping her head as her fingers curled around Emily's on her knee. "We worked out some stuff," she sighed happily. "We're back together."

Aria's smile grew. "That's great, guys."

"Wait a second," Hanna started, looking confused. " _You knew?_ " She looked at all of them incredulously before her gaze pinpointed on Paige. Paige gave a slight shrug as she smiled, Hanna rolling her eyes in exasperation. "I can't believe you told Aria and didn't mention it to me."

"I've only known for a week or so," Aria explained. Her eyes flicked back and forth between Paige and Emily, seeming to be reveling in their happiness. "So, what exactly happened? What 'stuff' did you have to work out?" Paige felt Emily's hand squeeze her knee gently. Paige took a breath, ready to tell the story but was cut off by Spencer sitting down violently next to Aria.

"Oh my god, I had to get out of there before I strangled Mona," she snarled, having just come from another prom committee meeting. "She's driving me nuts." Paige turned to glance at Emily, seeing a smirk on her lips, both of them knowing that Spencer would have been driving other people 'nuts' as well. Spencer seemed to realise that she'd just interrupted their conversation, taking note of the silence that now occupied the table. She frowned. "What? What did I miss?"

"This should be good," Hanna mumbled, looking eager to see what was about to happen.

"Do you want to tell her or should I?" Emily asked, smiling at Paige.

There were nervous butterflies in her stomach as she turned to focus on Spencer, who was appearing more and more confused with every passing second. She wasn't sure how break the news. She pursed her lips; without overthinking it, Paige gripped Emily's hand, pulling it up from her knee, their fingers interlocking as she displayed their hands on the table in front of them for all to see.

The rush she felt from the action was almost overwhelming, her leg bouncing up and down with the energy it gave her. Her eyes roamed around the surrounding area, surprisingly feeling _disappointed_ that no one seemed to notice this monumental moment.

She looked back to Spencer, seeing her eyes fixed on their hands, a wrinkle on her forehead. Paige heard Emily laughing under her breath, running her thumb over the back of her hand. Spencer glanced up at them before staring back at their hands until a look of realisation passed over her face.

"What? You two…?" She wagged a finger between them, sitting up straighter in her seat, a smile tugging at her lips. "No way… seriously?"

"Seriously," Emily confirmed, Paige catching the soft look she threw her way. She sighed, knowing she would never tire of seeing that look.

Spencer beamed. "I can't believe it; I knew something must have been up with you guys since it was obvious you were in some sort of fight- I didn't want to say anything in case it made things more awkward - but I would never have guessed…" She shook her head, still smiling, faltering after a moment. "But what about Maya and Troy?" she asked unsurely.

Paige tensed, averting her eyes; even though she and Emily had cleared the air on that subject last night, she would never be comfortable with the events that had transpired. "Sorry," she heard Spencer mutter, obviously grasping that it was a tender subject.

"It's fine," Paige said, glossing over the awkward silence. "So, you literally had no idea?" she asked, changing the subject, glad that she could finally find out what Spencer had been thinking that day she'd thought she'd caught onto them. "There was one time during that week I was staying with Em that I thought you might have figured it out?" Paige knew right away that Spencer had no idea what she was talking about, a confused expression washing over her face.

"Nope- honestly had no idea."

Paige turned to look at Emily, nudging her slightly with her shoulder. "Guess you were right; I was just being paranoid." Emily tightened her lips in a small smile, releasing her hand to rub over her back comfortingly.

Paige turned back to face the rest of the table, finding that they were all looking between one another, grinning. "What?" Paige asked hesitantly.

"Quit being so adorable," Hanna laughed, Emily giving a playful roll of her eyes while Paige blushed.

Spencer leaned forward on her elbows. "I can't believe this has been going on for so long. I mean, since you were staying with Em? I need details; spill."

"Yeah," Aria chimed in. "I'm curious to hear the story too."

Both Paige and Emily sighed simultaneously, Paige taking Emily's hand again, looking at her with a smirk. "Well, it all started with Noel Kahn's party…"

* * *

Paige spotted Hanna in the hallway as she headed to Biology. "Hanna! Wait up!" Hanna stopped in her tracks, smiling as she approached her. "Hey, I'm glad I caught you. I've been meaning to say something."

Hanna frowned slightly as they started to walk again. "What?"

Paige wrung her hands, taking in a breath. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry; for the way I treated you, for all the crap you've had to put up with recently, just everything. You were always there for me, even when I pushed you away, and just," she sighed. "Thank you. I would probably still be curled up in a ball somewhere feeling sorry for myself if it weren't for you." She felt some of the guilt she'd been holding onto leave her, feeling emotionally lighter.

Hanna smiled, giving her arm a squeeze. "What are friends for?" Paige grinned, happy that Hanna didn't seem to harbour any resentment. Everything was starting to work out for her, _finally_. "Hey," Hanna said, pointing at the wall where a prom poster was hanging. "What are you doing for prom? You're definitely going now, right?"

In all honesty, Paige had completely forgotten about it. "Oh yeah. Uh, I guess."

"Don't sound so excited," Hanna sighed. "Come on, it'll be great. You can't miss it. We can go shopping this weekend if you like; I'll help you pick out a dress. Have you seen Emily's? It's gorgeous; she'll knock you off your feet." Paige smiled at the thought of Emily, knowing that she could wear a potato sack and still look amazing. "Paige?" Hanna waved a hand in front of her face.

"Sorry." She shook her head to clear it. "Yeah, okay. We can go shopping this weekend."

"Great," Hanna said, excitement emanating from her at the thought of a shopping opportunity. Paige sighed internally, wishing she felt the same enthusiasm.

* * *

Paige didn't think she had ever performed better at a swim practice before, completely at ease in the water, feeling both mentally and physically renovated.

"Great work today, Paige," Coach Fulton told her on her way by to the locker room. "Keep swimming like that and we'll have the championship in the bag."

She grinned, feeling a hand running over her shoulder, sensing Emily behind her as they walked. "You were on fire today," she whispered, goosebumps spreading all over Paige's body as Emily's lips brushed against her ear ever so slightly.

She turned her head, seeing water droplets running down Emily's face, her wet hair cascading over one shoulder; Paige swallowed, instantly turned on. "You weren't so bad yourself," she smirked, trying not to dwell on thoughts of last night, or thoughts of taking Emily right here up against a locker. She cleared her throat. "So," she started as they made their way to the showers, "Want to do something tonight? We could grab dinner, go a drive…" she trailed off, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

Emily laughed, running her hands through her hair as she stepped under the shower, tipping her head up into the stream of water. Paige stood under the adjacent shower, completely entranced by the sight, blushing but not looking away when Emily caught her staring. "I've got to work tonight," Emily sighed, pouting.

Paige's heart sank. "Damn. When do you get off?" She kept forgetting that Emily had a job now.

"Not until ten; I'm doing the close. It's a crappy shift- the place is practically dead after nine anyway." Her face lit up. "Hey, why don't you come by then? You can eat cake and I can pretend to work."

Paige smiled. "Sounds good."

* * *

**_Emily_ **

It wasn't even half seven when Paige walked through the door of The Brew, Emily smiling in surprise. Her eyes had been flicking to the clock on the wall every few minutes since she'd started her shift, desperate for Paige to arrive.

She leaned forward on the counter as Paige approached. "You're early," she grinned, extremely glad that she was.

"Yeah," Paige said, gesturing to the bag that was slung over her shoulder. "I have some studying to do, and I couldn't wait 'til nine to see you, so I figured I'd just come and do it here." She smiled. "That okay?"

Emily walked around the counter, hugging Paige tightly, placing a subtle kiss to the side of her head. She wasn't exactly sure what Paige was comfortable with yet, PDA-wise. She'd taken her by surprise by holding her hand above the lunch table today; she certainly hadn't been expecting Paige to do that so quickly, even though she'd come out to her parents; Emily thought it would take longer for them to adjust. She wasn't complaining though; the feeling it had given her was indescribable, making her want to hold Paige's hand and never let go.

She pulled back. "It's better than okay." They eyed each other for a moment before someone arrived at the counter waiting to be served. Emily sighed, pointing towards the couch near the back of the room. "You can go sit over there; it's nice. Secluded and comfy."

Paige smiled, gripping her forearm. "Okay, thanks." Emily watched Paige go, forcing her eyes away from her when an impatient customer cleared their throat.

After serving a few people, Emily walked over towards Paige, seeing that she had set out books all over the table in front of her. She looked up as Emily approached, grinning. "Miss me already?"

Emily rolled her eyes with a smile. "I forgot to ask what you want. Tea? Coffee?"

"Hmm, let's go with coffee, I'm going to need help to stay awake looking at this." She nodded toward the books. "But not too strong- I kinda want to sleep tonight." She reached into her bag, pulling out her purse, but Emily stopped her.

"It's on me." Paige looked like she was about to argue, but Emily didn't give her the chance, walking back to the counter, throwing a smile in Paige's direction once she got there.

She made Paige a latte, attempting to make a heart shape in the foam. She wasn't great at coffee art yet so it turned out slightly wonky, but at least it was still distinguishable as a heart. She cut a slice from the coconut cake on the shelf, placing it on the tray beside the coffee and taking it over to Paige, whose face shined at the sight, Emily's heart fluttering in her chest.

"Em…" Paige looked up at her, looking lost for words. She didn't need to say anything though. Emily knew; she could see it in her eyes.

She smiled. "That should keep you going. I'll be back when it's quiet."

Paige bit her lip. "Okay."

* * *

**_Paige_ **

The grin was still on her face long after Emily had gone back to the counter. Not only had she given her a slice of her favourite cake, but she'd also drawn a heart in her coffee. It was so cute that she subtly took a picture of it with her phone, needing a physical memory of the moment.

She tried to focus as much as she could on the work in front of her, but she kept getting distracted by Emily every time she walked by to serve another table. Sometimes their eyes would catch, sharing a lingering gaze across the room that sent Paige's heart racing, yet also made her feel intensely calm at the same time.

It was just after nine when Emily came to sit down on the couch beside her. "I'll close up once the couple beside the window leaves," she explained, flopping backwards, looking worn out. Paige leaned back beside her, taking Emily's hand in her own.

"How are you finding time to study in between training, school and work?" Paige asked, thinking that having a job on top of everything else they had to deal with was too much.

"A lot of late nights," Emily sighed, looking lost in thought. "It sucks that finals are coming up soon; we're going to be so busy. I just wish we could like, pause time or something- crawl into bed and spend a whole week there." She smiled wistfully, Paige squeezing her hand, thinking that sounded like the best wish ever.

"Why did you get this job, anyway? Because of your mom or because of me?" There was no point in pretending that Emily had purely got the job for the money.

Emily hesitated momentarily. "Both," she said, Paige nodding in acknowledgement.

"Sorry," she mumbled. Emily sat up, shuffling closer to her.

"You don't need to apologise, especially for things that weren't your fault. How about we make a deal? We stop saying sorry for everything that happened, and we just move forward? How about that?"

Paige didn't have to think too hard. "Okay, agreed." Emily smiled softly, sitting back again, this time her arm flush against Paige's, their hands resting on Paige's thigh. They sat like that for a while, Paige enjoying having Emily close to her again. She actually felt her eyelids starting to get heavy, almost dozing off, but then the couple left and Emily had to get up to close the shop.

"Want a hand to tidy?" Paige asked as she stood up, looking around and seeing that a few tables needed to be cleared.

"Oh no, you don't have to do that," Emily said as she flipped the sign on the door to 'closed'.

"You need to stay 'til ten, right? Well, the faster we tidy, the faster we can spend time, you know, _not_ cleaning." A slow smile spread across Emily's face.

"Good thinking."

They managed to make the place look perfect within ten minutes, meaning they had around twenty to kill before Emily's shift finished. They made their way back to the couch, Paige packing up all her books before leaning back, Emily edging closer towards her.

Paige cupped Emily's face as their lips met softly, both of them sighing into the kiss, Emily's hand moving to rest on her knee. They kissed slowly and lazily, Paige allowing contentment to wash over her, eventually smiling against Emily's mouth, feeling Emily smile in turn.

Paige's hand ran down Emily's arm, moving to grip her hip, pulling her in closer. Emily's other hand curled around the back of her neck, kissing her deeply, her mouth trailing down her chin and along her jaw as the hand on Paige's knee began to creep upwards.

Someone cleared their throat.

They sprung apart, seeing a surprised-looking guy standing there, Paige figuring it must be Emily's boss. She felt heat creeping up her neck, glancing at Emily to see a mortified expression gracing her face. "Uh, Zack, hi. I d-didn't think you'd be in tonight," she stammered, shifting awkwardly on the couch.

Nervous laughter almost bubbled out of Paige, having to press her mouth against the palm of her hand as she leaned on her knee.

"I didn't plan to be," Zack replied, staring at the floor in obvious embarrassment. "I just needed to grab something from the back." There was an uncomfortable silence, Zack shifting on his feet. "Um, can I have a word with you, Emily?" Paige saw Emily nod quickly out of the corner of her eye, hurriedly following Zack into the back room, Paige starting to worry that Emily was about to get fired.

**_Emily_ **

She entered the back room, Zack turning to face her, raising his eyebrows.

"I'm _so_ sorry," she stressed, feeling like she was going to die from the awkwardness. She supposed that she should be grateful that he hadn't walked in a moment later, Emily thinking about the direction that her hand had been heading in. "I finished cleaning early, and- I know that's not a reasonable excuse, you can dock my wage-"

"Emily," Zack said, cutting her off. "It's fine; just don't let it happen again, okay?" Emily took a moment to realise he was letting her off with it, finally smiling in thanks. Zack looked at his watch. "It's almost ten; you can just go now. I'll see you tomorrow."

Emily didn't need to be told twice. She untied the apron from around her waist, grabbing her jacket and bag from the coat rack. "Thanks, see you tomorrow," she said, heading back through to see Paige sitting anxiously on the couch.

"You didn't get fired, did you?"

Emily shook her head, trying not to laugh. "No, come on." She nodded in the direction of the door, Paige standing up quickly.

Once they were outside, they both burst into laughter, clinging onto each other to stay standing. Emily took in a heaving breath, trying to regain some composure.

"Oh my god," Paige said. "I can't believe that just happened. Mega-awkward."

"At least you don't need to work there tomorrow," Emily said, slapping her arm playfully. "Thank god Zack's a pretty cool guy." They made their way to Emily's car, Emily only just noticing how calm Paige was about someone seeing them kissing. She smiled to herself as she slid into the car; this was how it was going to be from now on; no panic; no paranoia; just them.

* * *

She pulled up at Paige's house, turning to smile at her. "So, want to go a run in the morning? Training without you has been so boring."

"I know the feeling," Paige said, running a hand over her thigh. "Meet you outside your house?" Emily nodded, elated that they were getting back to their normal routine.

"Can't wait."

Paige leaned over, giving her a lingering kiss. "Night. Love you." She gave her a final peck before opening the door.

"Love you too," Emily said, Paige closing the door and giving her a dorky wave through the window that made her giggle, her heart swelling.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

It was Saturday, and Paige was dragging her feet at the mall as Hanna paraded around from store to store, each prom dress she was suggesting more hideous than the previous.

Hanna eventually lost her patience, gritting her teeth and massaging her temples. "Paige, you're just saying no to everything; you're not even looking properly!" Hanna picked a dress off the rack, holding it up against her. "I mean, this would look great on you. Can you at least go try it on?"

Paige huffed, taking it from her and going to the dressing room reluctantly. She quickly took off her clothes, stepping into the dress and pulling it up, zipping it at the back as best she could. She stared at herself in the mirror, seeing the deep purple material clinging to her body in all of the right places, thinking that although it looked pretty good on, it just didn't feel _right_.

She had never liked wearing dresses for as far back as she could remember. She had a prominent memory of her mom forcing her to wear one to a wedding when she was around nine years old; she'd kicked and screamed, but she'd been made to wear it anyway. It was 'the proper way to dress', apparently.

But the decision was hers now; no one was going to make her wear something that she didn't want to.

"Paige? How does it look? Can I see?"

Paige sighed, pulling back the curtain, seeing Hanna smile. "You look amazing; see, I told you it would look great on." She stepped forward, pinning a bit of the dress up at the shoulder with her fingers. "We can get this taken in a bit, also get it taken up at the bottom- it's too long…" She seemed to notice Paige's lack of enthusiasm. "What? You don't like it?" Her face fell.

"No, I do," Paige started slowly, turning back to look at herself in the mirror, giving the garment one last look. "It's just- I don't think it's _me_ , you know?" Hanna frowned, not understanding. "I don't want to wear a dress, Hanna," Paige clarified.

"Oh." After a second, Hanna's face lit up. "Okay, get changed, I know just the place."

* * *

They left the mall, Hanna taking her down a street to a small store, Paige looking in the window to see suits and tuxedos on display. "Better?" Hanna asked. Paige nodded, smiling nervously. "Good, but I wish you had said something sooner; maybe I could have avoided getting this headache." Paige rolled her eyes as Hanna smirked.

They entered the store, completely empty apart from the elderly tailor at the counter. "Hanna!" the woman exclaimed, looking pleased to see her.

"Hey, Betty."

"Is everything okay? Does Caleb need another alteration to his tux?"

"Oh no, his tux is great," Hanna smiled. "Actually, I was wondering if you could help out my friend here?" She stepped aside so Betty could see Paige clearly, Paige suddenly feeling awkward and out of place.

If Betty was surprised to see a girl standing there, she didn't let on. "Of course; what are you looking for, dear? Suit? Tux?"

Paige looked around the store, shrugging, feeling out of her depth. "I'm not really sure, to be honest."

The woman came around the counter, taking a measuring tape from the top of it. "No worries, let's get your size and then we'll find something." Paige looked at Hanna, who nodded her head encouragingly in the direction of Betty heading into the back of the store.

Paige felt infinitely more relaxed, smiling. "Thanks, Hanna."

"No problem."

* * *

She ended up picking out a tuxedo with a black vest and tie, leaving it at the store so that Betty could alter it to fit her perfectly. She managed to get it at a good price, but it still cost more than what her parents had given her to get a dress meaning she had to put some of her savings towards it. It would be worth it though, she mused. She didn't know what her parents would say when they saw what she'd bought, but she would worry about that later.

Right now, she wondered what Emily would think; she was pretty sure she would like it, although she couldn't be certain. Butterflies fluttered apprehensively in her stomach. "Hanna? Can we keep this from Emily? I want to surprise her."

Hanna smiled. "Sure." Paige gave a single nod, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets. "She's gonna love it," Hanna added, sensing her nerves. "I mean, _I_ would even think about doing you in that tux."

Paige laughed, blushing. "Hanna!" But it did the trick; Paige calmed.

"What?" Hanna smirked, Paige nudging her as they walked. "Seriously though, you and Em are going to look great together." Paige smiled, now feeling much more excited about the prospect of prom.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

When she finished work at eight, Paige was there waiting for her outside The Brew, ready to head back to her house for a movie date. It had been such a nice day that Emily hadn't bothered with the car, meaning they had a ten minute walk ahead of them. It was still March, but she could sense summer getting closer in the mild evening air, feeling giddy at the thought of getting to spend it with Paige; they could go on day trips, spend the day in Paige's pool, maybe even go away for a couple of days together. Spencer could lend them her family cabin like she had to Hanna and Caleb in the past.

"How was work? Still awkward?" Paige asked. Yesterday had been slightly uncomfortable for her, both she and Zack trying to pretend the whole incident hadn't happened, but thankfully today had been better.

"Not too bad actually, I think we're both getting over it." Paige grinned, obviously thinking back to that night. "How did dress shopping go? Did Hanna drive you mad?" Emily was sad that she couldn't have gone with them.

"No, I think I actually drove _Hanna_ mad," Paige answered, bowing her head with a smile. Emily wasn't exactly surprised; she knew that shopping wasn't Paige's favourite activity and that she could be extremely fussy and stubborn when it came to picking clothes. And now that she thought about it, she couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Paige in a dress.

"What did you get then? What colour? Did Hanna make sure it won't clash with mine?" Paige hadn't seen her dress yet, so she wouldn't have known what would go and what wouldn't.

Paige laughed, her fingers trailing down Emily's forearm, resting on the inside of her wrist as they walked. "I got something, yeah; but that's all I'm saying. And we won't clash, don't worry."

Emily looked at Paige curiously. "Why is that all you're saying?" She wondered if she had ended up picking out some bizarre dress and didn't want to freak her out.

Paige shrugged. "Just- you'll see." Emily sighed, choosing not to push the matter for now, but the glint in Paige's eyes told her that she was happy with whatever she'd bought, which was good enough for Emily.

As they walked, Emily became aware of Paige's fingers slipping lower and lower, until eventually they were holding hands; they were holding hands as they walked down the street. Emily looked down, seeing Paige's fingers lacing with her own, grinning wider than she thought was possible. This was actually happening.

"This feels amazing," Paige sighed happily.

Emily looked back up at her, seeing Paige was also fixated on the sight of their hands. "I know what you mean." They proceeded like that all the way to Emily's; there was hardly anyone around to see them, but that didn't make it any less thrilling, adrenaline pumping through Emily's veins.

They entered the house, both of them unwilling to let go of each other, even when her mom came through from the kitchen. "Hey," Emily said, noticing her eyes flick down to their joined hands.

"Hi." Her gaze moved to Paige, Emily feeling her hand clenching slightly. "Hi, Paige. It's nice to see you're doing better." Paige's hand relaxed again.

"Thanks, Mrs Fields," she smiled.

"Uh, we're just going to go to my room and watch a movie, is that okay?" Emily asked hesitantly, hoping that her mom wouldn't make them stay downstairs under constant parental supervision. For one horrible second she thought she was going to do just that, but then she gave a slight smile, nodding her head.

They started to make their way upstairs, her mom suddenly calling her back down. She looked to Paige, frowning slightly. "I'll be up in a sec." She reluctantly released Paige's hand, walking back down to her mom, who was heading into the kitchen again.

"What is it?"

Her mom reached up to pull a bag of ready-made popcorn out of the cupboard, handing it to her along with a bowl. Emily grinned. "Thanks."

"Oh, and please leave your door open."

Emily rolled her eyes, but was still smiling. "Fine."

She hurried up to her room, seeing Paige had already settled on top of the bed. She shut the door automatically, walking towards her before having to spin on her heels to go back, opening the door a sliver; her mom hadn't specified _how_ open the door had to be.

Paige looked at her curiously, Emily shaking her head, simply saying, "My mom." She kicked off her shoes and pulled off her jacket, crawling onto the bed beside Paige.

Paige took the popcorn from her, opening the bag and emptying it into the bowl. Emily took her laptop from her bedside table, firing it up. "So, what are we watching?" Paige asked. Emily shrugged, biting her lip eagerly, leaning forward to kiss Paige softly.

"What do you want to watch?" Emily murmured against her lips, feeling Paige smiling.

"Oh, I don't know; maybe we could just do this instead." Emily laughed, having to pull back before they got carried away.

"If only, but I wouldn't put it past my mom not to make a surprise visit up here." Paige flopped back into the pillows with a groan.

"Fine, but that just means the movie is going to have to be _amazing_ ; I need something to distract me from you." Emily laughed again, getting off of the bed to look through her DVDs.

"Let's see… " She smirked. "Oh, I know. How about ' _Rudy'_?"

She had to dodge the bit of popcorn that Paige threw across the room.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

Monday morning walking into school, Paige took Emily's hand again, feeling more and more confident and comfortable in her own skin with every passing day. She noticed a few people looking at them as they walked by, but it wasn't a _bad_ look, just general curiosity that she realised didn't bother her in the slightest. They could look and talk all they liked; she had Emily and she was happy; she didn't care what anyone else thought.

And seeing the look on Emily's face right now; _she_ did that. _She_ was making her this happy. It was a powerful feeling.

They saw Spencer and Aria smiling at them as they made their way down the hall towards their lockers. "Hey, look at you guys," Aria said as they approached, aware how huge this was for them now that she knew their whole story.

Paige just pursed her lips in a smile, gazing at Emily who had the most adorable blush on her face. "I need to grab a book from my locker," she said, moving over to the other side of the hall. Spencer leaned in closer to Paige.

"So, we heard about your tux," she grinned. "I can already imagine it; you'll look awesome." Aria nodded in agreement, Paige's eyes flitting over to Emily. "It's okay," Spencer observed. "We know you want to surprise Emily."

Paige smiled nervously, changing the subject quickly as Emily came back over. "So, did you finish that essay for English?" There was no need for the subject change however, since Emily was frowning slightly at her phone.

"What is it?" Paige queried.

"My mom just text me- the mail came, I have a letter from UConn." She looked confused.

"Em! That's great," Spencer exclaimed. "They must have made you an offer."

Paige figured the UConn scout must have seen how well Emily had performed at the meet that she had screwed up at. She forced a smile onto her face, trying to be happy that they were interested in Emily, but at the same time she had a sinking feeling in her stomach.

She'd had it in her head that she would be attending Pittsburgh, and that Emily would somehow end up there too, but she was now realising that that was an unrealistic and almost childish idea to have; she knew that it was unlikely Pittsburgh would offer two students from the same high school full scholarships- they probably didn't allow for that in their budget.

But now, having to face the prospect that Emily might not even be in the same state as her… she couldn't bear the thought.

Her stomach twisted anxiously.

She felt Emily take her hand, obviously sensing her train of thought. "I'd rather hear from Penn State or Pittsburgh; I'm not sure how I feel about going out of state."

"Well it depends on what they're offering you; sure, it's much more expensive to go out of state, but they could be offering you full tuition," Spencer said, nudging Emily's shoulder excitedly. "And UConn's got an awesome swimming programme, right?" Emily nodded, giving an uneasy smile. Paige gave her hand a light squeeze before letting go, moving up the hall to her own locker, trying to remain calm. This was Emily's first offer. It wouldn't be her only one.

Well, she _hoped_ that it wouldn't be her only one.

Emily followed her, watching as Paige shoved books into her bag. "Well, this is unexpected."

"Yeah," Paige muttered distractedly. She knew things had been going too well for them; too good to be true. They had finally got one thing out of the way only to be replaced by another. Emily ran a hand over her back, bringing her back to the current moment. Paige shook her head, only just realising what Emily had said. "Well, it's not _that_ unexpected; you were awesome at that meet." She gave a small smile, but Emily didn't look convinced by it.

"Hey, we don't need to worry just yet. We're hardly into March. I could get other offers- hell, I don't even know what the UConn letter says yet." Paige tried to let Emily's words sink in, attempting to push the swelling worry aside for now. She turned, seeing that Emily also appeared concerned, looking like she didn't believe what she'd just said.

Paige gave a brief nod, leaning forward to kiss her lightly, not even thinking about where they were. She just needed to kiss Emily right now.

She only realised what she'd done when she pulled back to see a shocked expression on Emily's face. Paige didn't even bother looking around for other people's reactions; all that mattered was Emily. "Was that okay?" It hadn't escaped her notice that Emily seemed to be letting her set the pace on how fast they progressed publicly, but she wanted to make sure that Emily was feeling comfortable as well.

A slow smile spread across Emily's face, telling Paige all she needed to. Emily leaned in to kiss her again, and for a few blissful moments, Paige was able to forget the feeling of impending doom that arose at the thought of college and the future.

* * *

Paige accompanied Emily back to her house during lunch, Emily unable to wait until after swim practice to read the letter. Emily's mom wasn't home, leaving the pair of them standing alone in the quiet of Emily's living room.

"Here it is," Emily said anxiously, lifting the letter from the coffee table. She sat down on the couch, Paige following, watching intently as Emily opened it and began to read.

"Well?" Paige asked, unable to suppress the hint of impatience in her voice.

Emily gave a slight smile. "I got in. They're offering me a partial scholarship- three quarters of the fees."

Paige pulled Emily into a hug. "Well done, you deserve it." She meant what she said, but that didn't stop the sadness spreading through her body, feeling Emily sigh against her neck.

"Paige, you know I'm not going, right? Not unless it's my only option. I don't want to be that far away from you." Paige held her tighter.

"I've been deluding myself into thinking that we'd be going to the same college," Paige murmured into her hair. "But the fact is, the chances of that happening are probably slim at best. And it sucks; we just got back together and it already feels like time is running out." She felt like she could already hear the ticking of a clock in her head.

"Paige…" Emily whispered sadly, pulling back to kiss her. "We can't think like that- we don't know what's going to happen yet."

Paige rested their foreheads together. "Em, come on, I've already been offered a full scholarship for Pittsburgh. You remember what Coach said? She said that colleges almost never offer two people from the same high school scholarships, especially in the same field."

"Well, I doubt Pittsburgh will be the only school to offer you a place. And I might get offered a partial scholarship for Pittsburgh, who knows."

"And what if you get a full one, at Penn State for example?" Paige said. "There's no point getting yourself into debt when you don't have to. Besides, your parents wouldn't let you; same goes for me. We'll be made to go with the best offer, as long as their swimming programme is good."

Emily huffed. "Paige, can you at least try to think positively?"

"I'm being realistic," she replied, brushing her lips against Emily's, sighing in defeat. "I think the best scenario we can hope for is that you get a scholarship to Penn State, or at least a school in Pennsylvania, and I take my place at Pittsburgh. I mean, we'll still be like a three-hour drive apart if you're at Penn State, but at least it's better than you being in a different state."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Emily toying with the hair at the back of her neck. "I don't care where we are or where we go; we'll be fine. I know it. We'll speak on the phone every day; we can visit each other on weekends…" Paige didn't want to point out the fact that it would need to be Emily doing all the visiting since she didn't even have a car. "It'll be fine; we'll make it work. After everything we've been through, I refuse to believe otherwise."

Paige pulled back, smiling slightly. "You're very convincing, you know."

"Good," Emily said, pecking her lips and standing up, holding out her hand. Paige took it, wishing that everything would be as simple as Emily made it seem, because right now it seemed like it was going to be a complicated mess.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

It was a couple of weeks later and there was still no sign of a letter from either Penn State or Pittsburgh. Emily was starting to worry. She didn't want to be over eight hours away from Paige. She didn't want to be _any_ number of hours away from her. She knew she should be grateful that any school wanted her and were helping to pay some of the fees, but it was hard when all she could think about was Paige.

Her mom and dad had been ecstatic that she'd gotten a partial scholarship, but it had been a challenge to pretend that she was excited too. Her mom had picked up on her lack of interest after she'd finished speaking to her dad over the phone, asking what was wrong.

"Is it because it's not a full scholarship, honey? Because don't worry, your dad and I have some money set aside, and you can get a student loan if need be."

"No, it's not that," Emily had replied. "It's just, Paige is most likely going to Pittsburgh, and I won't even get to see her every weekend if I'm in Connecticut."

Her mom had then irritated her with her patronising tone. "Emily, not many high school couples survive college, you know that, right? Even if you and Paige attended the same one, there's no guarantee that you'd stay together. I know it's hard, but you need to put your own future first. And who knows, you and Paige could end up finding each other again _after_ college."

Emily had sighed, shaking her head. Why was she acting like it was as simple as that? Why was she acting like she and Paige should just call it quits now? Paige wasn't some insignificant high school romance that Emily would soon forget about. "You don't get it," was all she'd said.

She hadn't expressed her worries to her mom again, deciding to try and ignore the problem until the last possible moment, praying that things would work themselves out.

They were all currently sitting in Spencer's living room, Spencer telling them about the long admissions essay she'd had to write for UPenn, but Emily was only half listening; she was practically sitting on Paige's lap, Paige's fingers creeping up the back of her shirt, tracing over her bare back in soothing motions.

They were now both completely comfortable with being themselves around other people, especially the other girls. Pretty much everyone at school now knew they were together, Emily trying to let the happiness from that mask the anxiety over college.

"That sounds like a nightmare," Paige said, her voice sounding loud beside Emily's ear. "I'm glad I didn't have to write an essay, especially with a ridiculous word limit." Emily nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, well, it sucks," Hanna chimed in, having had to write one to get into a fashion design course in New York. Emily was sad that Hanna was leaving; sad that everything was going to change after the summer, but Hanna had reassured her that their friendship wouldn't slip.

Aria was the only one planning on staying in Rosewood; she was going to be taking an art and photography course at Hollis. Emily had just recently found out about Aria's involvement with Mr Fitz; she was still slightly in shock over the whole thing. She wondered if that was part of the reason why Aria wanted to stay in Rosewood, to be close to him. Emily could definitely understand that feeling.

Aria looked at the pair of them. "Still no word from anywhere else?"

Emily shook her head, Paige saying, "Nope."

"If I get into Penn State you'll be hearing me shouting it from my rooftop," Emily joked, feeling Paige place a kiss on her shoulder. She was no longer entertaining the idea that she might go to Pittsburgh; the disappointment would be too painful when it didn't happen.

"You should be hearing something soon," Spencer said encouragingly. "I mean, most colleges need you to respond to their offers by May 1st, right? They'll need to give you time to consider your options."

Emily nodded along to her words, but suddenly sighed in doubt. "We keep speaking like it's a sure thing I'm even going to get another letter, when it's really not."

"Em," Paige started. "We've been through this; remember the scouts at that meet? They were excited to see you, right? There's no way that both of them would pass on you; no way." Emily turned her head, seeing resolve in Paige's eyes.

This was how it had been the past couple of weeks; every time one of them became doubtful, the other would switch into reassurance-mode. Emily gave a small smile in thanks. She dipped her head, signalling to Paige that she wanted a kiss, which she happily obliged.

She turned back to see Hanna rolling her eyes happily at them. "Honestly, whatever happens, you two are going to fine. I mean, look at you."

Emily sighed, falling back into Paige, hoping Hanna was right.

* * *

It was three days later when Emily got another text at school from her mom, telling her another letter had arrived.

From Penn State.

She was in the middle of class, but she didn't care. She had to know. She told her teacher that she wasn't feeling well, asking to be excused.

She made her way home quickly, practically running from the car into the living room where her mom chastised her for skipping class, but stopped when Emily began to open the envelope with trembling fingers.

_Please please please._

Her eyes scanned over the words quickly, focusing in on the phrases ' _pleased to offer_ ' and ' _full scholarship_ '. She clapped a hand over her mouth, glancing at her mom who looked concerned. "Full scholarship," was all she said, her mom shrieking in joy, pulling her into a hug. Emily felt light-headed, slumping in relief.

_I don't need to leave the state. I'll be able to see Paige every weekend._

"Well done, sweetie; I'm so proud of you," her mom gushed, pulling back, cupping Emily's cheek as she beamed with pride. "We need to tell your dad." She hurried off to get the phone, Emily sitting down on the couch, grinning at the letter still in her hand.

_Everything is going to be fine._

* * *

She rushed back to school, desperate to tell Paige the news. She text her telling her to meet her in the bathroom, but after around a five minute wait, she got impatient, making her way to Paige's math class.

She peered into the room via the window on the door, seeing Paige with her head resting in her hand, looking like she was about to fall asleep, obviously having not received Emily's text. Emily made sure that the teacher's back was turned, waving her hand at the window to try and attract Paige's attention.

Some guy she didn't know ended up seeing her first. She pointed at Paige; he seemed to understand what she wanted, turning in his seat to whisper something in Paige's direction; Paige looked towards him in confusion before she looked up to see Emily.

Emily grinned, nodding her head sideways, indicating to Paige to come out into the hall. Paige frowned slightly, but there was a hesitant smile on her face. Emily stepped back from the door, hearing Paige asking if she could be excused to use the bathroom.

Paige stepped out of the door, closing it behind her as she looked at Emily curiously. "What's up?"

Emily grabbed her hand, pulling her flush against her, kissing her intensely. Paige seemed stunned at first, but after a moment she began to respond enthusiastically, her arms wrapping around Emily's body, both of them staggering slightly as the lost their balance.

Paige laughed quietly. "Not that this isn't a great reason to leave class- the best actually- but what's going on?"

Emily cupped Paige's face, running her thumb over the soft skin of her cheek. "I got into Penn State, Paige. Full scholarship- I don't need to leave the state."

Paige's eyes widened, letting out a sharp breath. "Seriously?" Emily nodded, Paige kissing her again, smiling. "Thank god," she murmured, burying her face into Emily's neck in relief.

"I know," Emily sighed, her hand running up and down Paige's back. It still wasn't ideal, going to a different school, but she figured this was the best they were going to get.

"Girls!"

They broke apart quickly, seeing Coach Fulton walking down the hall towards them. "Why aren't you in class?" She didn't look angry, thankfully, just curious; Emily was sure that if it had been any other teacher that had caught them, they'd instantly be receiving a detention slip.

"Sorry, Coach, but I had to tell Paige the news; I got into Penn State."

Coach Fulton's face lit up. "Emily! That's great news!" She gave her a quick hug, pulling back and looking at them with a smile. "I'm so proud of the pair of you; by far two of the best swimmers that have ever been on the team. I'm going to miss coaching you. Well done, girls. You deserve it."

Emily grinned at Paige, who was looking softly back at her. "Now, I know this is exciting, but you have finals to pass first; back to class." Both of them nodded, Coach Fulton heading off down the hall.

Emily waited until she had disappeared around the corner to kiss Paige goodbye, feeling much more relaxed now that their future was looking slightly clearer.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

It was Sunday afternoon; they were both lying naked in Paige's bed, making the most of her parents being out of the house. She spooned Emily as her heart rate returned to normal, placing a kiss to her shoulder, their arms outstretched in front of them, Paige playing with Emily's fingers.

"I'm going to miss this," she said sadly. The happiness of the past few days was starting to dissipate, the reality beginning to sink in that they were going to be separated come September. They'd only just entered April, but Paige had a feeling that the remaining months would fly by; they'd be at college before they knew it.

Emily turned to face her, her hand smoothing over her thigh. "We still have all summer; we can spend every day together." Paige smiled, but thought that still wouldn't be enough. "Besides, we'll still get to do this." She kissed her lightly. "Just maybe more rushed; and we'll have to hope that we have nice roommates who'll give us the room…" Emily sighed, frowning. "Ugh; you're right, it's going to suck. But it could be worse."

"I know, I know," Paige replied, kissing Emily again. _I'm grateful that Emily is staying in Pennsylvania. I'm grateful that Emily is staying in Pennsylvania,_ she chanted. She should be appreciative of that fact. "Let's just hope that time moves really slowly up until we have to leave."

A suggestive smile appeared on Emily's face. "Oh really?" She trailed her hand deliberately up Paige's side. "How slowly?"

Paige grinned, rolling on top of her, pinning her hands above her head. " _Very_ slowly." She lowered her head, her lips brushing lightly down Emily's neck, latching onto her pulse point, before trailing gently back up, nipping at her earlobe.

Her plan to tease Emily was cut short however, both of them bolting off of the bed at the sound of the front door opening downstairs. Paige's heart was pounding as she tried to locate all of her clothes as quickly as possible, bumping into Emily several times in their panic.

Finally dressed, she tried to make the bed appear as if they hadn't just spent the better part of an hour rolling around in it, moving to crack a window open, letting in some fresh air. She noticed Emily getting tangled in her t-shirt, having to help her tug it down, trying not to laugh.

They breathed a sigh of relief once they were both in order, Paige hearing her parents moving around downstairs, glad that they hadn't come up to see her. She still hadn't told them she was dating Emily, and didn't think the best way for them to find out would be walking in on them in Paige's room.

"Damn," Emily sighed wistfully, smirking. "That was bad timing." Paige laughed, pulling her close for one last kiss.

They made their way downstairs, her mom smiling when she saw them. "Oh, hi, Emily. I didn't realise you were over; Paige mentioned you got a full scholarship into Penn State, congratulations."

"Thanks, Mrs McCullers," Emily grinned.

"Does that mean you and Paige could be competing against each other at some point?" Paige knew her mom was only trying to make conversation, but the thought bothered her. She didn't want to compete against Emily; they worked much better together; had _always_ worked better together.

Emily laughed, but Paige knew it was more out of politeness than anything else. "Yeah, I guess so." She looked to Paige, her smile turning sad. After a beat, she said, "Well, I better get going. I told my mom I'd help with dinner."

"It was nice seeing you," her mom replied. "Oh, and good luck for Friday." Friday was the day of the swimming championship, which Paige hadn't been thinking about too much; she'd been too distracted.

Paige walked Emily to the door, hearing her mom heading into the living room. Emily stepped onto the porch, Paige leaning outwards using the door frame. Emily smiled, realising she wanted a kiss. "See you early tomorrow," she said quietly, brushing her lips against Paige's.

Paige swooned forward slightly as Emily stepped away. "Bye." She watched her walking down the path, finally managing to tear herself away from the door when Emily gave her a final wave. She grinned, turning back into the house to find her mom standing there, looking uncomfortable.

_Oops._

"Uh, how much of that did you just see?" She hadn't wanted to tell them about Emily until they had properly digested the fact that she was gay, but she shouldn't be surprised that her plan had just deviated off course; that was the way things seemed to happen in her life.

"All of it," her mom stated. She didn't look mad, exactly, but she definitely wasn't pleased either.

"Sorry, Mom, I wanted to tell you; I did. I just didn't want to pile too many things on at once." Her mom just stared down at the floor, Paige feeling increasingly awkward. Then her dad wandered out of the kitchen.

"What did I miss?" he asked, obviously sensing the atmosphere.

Paige cleared her throat, her mom staying silent. "Okay, well guess I should just tell you," Paige muttered under her breath. "Um, Emily's more than my friend. She's my girlfriend." She was astounded at the confidence in her tone; astounded by how confident she _felt_.

He frowned. "Emily? Emily Fields?" Paige nodded, thinking it was pretty obvious she was talking about _that_ Emily. Her dad looked lost for words, eventually just saying, "Oh."

Paige didn't know what to do with that; what did that even mean? Was he okay with it? Against it? She had no idea, but she decided she wasn't going to agonize over it.

She gave them a brief smile, heading back upstairs, exhaling. Well, at least that was everything out in the open now.

* * *

The day before the championship, Paige got another letter in the mail. Her heart leapt into her throat, seeing it was from Penn State. Could it be-?

She ripped the envelope open, accidentally tearing part of the letter in her haste. She smoothed it out in front of her, reading with eager eyes.

The disappointment was crippling. They had offered her a place, but were only offering to pay half her fees.

Tears sprung to her eyes; in the time between seeing the letter and opening it, a whole future at Penn State with Emily had flashed into her head; meeting Emily for breakfast; going to practice together; kissing each other goodnight.

A tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away angrily, not only feeling sad again about not going to the same college as Emily, but also guilty; she had been offered a place at Pittsburgh, free of charge. She knew she was being ungrateful sitting here crying about it, and was thankful that her parents weren't home to see it.

She threw the letter onto the coffee table, going up to her room.

She lay down on the bed, pulling her phone out of her pocket and calling Emily, who answered after a few rings.

"You're never going to guess what just happened," she said, her tone even. "I got a letter from Penn State offering me a place but only half the tuition." Emily was silent on the other end of the line. "Talk about kicking us when we're down, huh?"

"Paige…" Emily sounded dejected. Another tear leaked from Paige's eye, rolling back into her hair.

Paige swallowed. "Maybe I should just take out a loan?" It would be worth getting to be with Emily.

"And get into debt when you have a full scholarship to another school? No, that's just stupid, Paige, and you told me the same thing when I suggested it before; I won't let you do it."

"Well, it's not really up to you," she snapped, having to close her eyes to calm herself. She didn't mean to take out her stress on Emily.

Emily sighed. "What I mean is, I don't _want_ you to do that. As much as I want to go to the same school as you, we just need to accept that it's not going to happen." She heard Emily's voice cracking. Great, now she was crying too.

Paige sniffed, wishing that she hadn't even bothered telling Emily. What good had it done? "Okay," she said quietly after a minute. "I'm sorry. Let's pretend the letter doesn't exist then; it's easier that way."

"It'll be fine, Paige. We have to believe that, okay?" Although the words themselves sounded confident, Emily's tone didn't. She was asking for reassurance from Paige, and she didn't have the ability to deny Emily what she wanted.

"Okay; it'll be fine."

* * *

Later that evening, her dad came into her room, waving the letter around in the air. "Why was this just sitting on the coffee table?" Paige shrugged at her desk, turning back to her work. "Paige? Why didn't you show me?"

"Because they only offered me a partial scholarship; it doesn't change anything. I'm still going to Pittsburgh." She sighed.

Much to her surprise, her dad came further into the room, sitting on her bed. "And why don't you sound excited about that? I thought you were happy to be going there?"

Paige spun around in her chair to face him. "I was- I mean I am. It's just, if it were up to me, I would choose Penn State, that's all. But Pittsburgh is great too; it'll _be_ great." She forced a smile, willing herself to believe that.

He just looked at her for a moment, finally sighing. "Does this have anything to do with Emily?"

The question caught Paige off-guard; had he actually just acknowledged that she was dating Emily for the first time since she'd told him four days ago? Paige was amazed. She swallowed. "Yeah, it does."

"You know your future, and your future alone, needs to come before any… relationship, right? You'll be full of regret when you're older, otherwise." Paige considered his words carefully, deciding that wouldn't be the case. Objectively, the Pittsburgh and Penn State swimming programmes were essentially as good as each other. The only think making Penn State more appealing was Emily.

"Both of their swimming programmes are great though; I wouldn't be sacrificing anything if I went to Penn State."

He sighed. "You're forgetting one thing; Emily is Penn State's first choice; you're their second. Would you not want to go to a school that put you first?"

Paige had already thought about that. "Dad, you know that I can beat Emily in a race. And sometimes she beats me; it's always been that way. I wouldn't worry that Emily would 'overshadow' me, if that's what you mean." He studied her as she talked. "Besides, we're big fish in a small pond right now; there's going to be much more competition out there, I'm going to feel out of my depth wherever I go." Going to the same school as Emily would be beneficial even purely on a swimming level, she realised; they had always been there for each other, pushing each other to do their best. It would be weird not having Emily there to support her.

But that was all part of growing up, she guessed. Dealing with change was part of life. "Anyway," she sighed. "There's no point talking about this. I'm going to Pittsburgh; Emily's going to Penn. That's all there is to it."

Her dad gave her a sympathetic smile, standing up. "Make sure and get a good sleep tonight; tomorrow's a big day." He placed the letter on her desk, kissing her on the forehead.

"Night, Dad."

"Night. Good luck for tomorrow if I don't see you in the morning. Your mom and I will be in the stands." He smiled, leaving the room, Paige unable to believe how much her dad had changed over the past month. Never did she think she would feel so relaxed around him the night before a major swim meet.

She smiled, turning back to her desk, her eyes landing on the letter. She wistfully looked over it one last time before throwing it into the waste paper basket beside her.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

She pulled up outside Paige's house early that morning, Paige already waiting for her beside the curb. Paige placed her duffel bag into the back before climbing into the passenger seat, leaning over to kiss her good morning. She kissed her slightly longer than normal, which Emily was sure had something to do with the phone conversation they'd had the night before.

Paige pulled back, smiling slightly. Emily took her hand, kissing her knuckles lightly. Listening to Paige on the phone had broken her heart; she wished that she'd never received the letter in the first place because Paige was right; if anything, it just felt like a kick when they were down.

"So, you ready for today?" Paige asked, her hand smoothing over Emily's thigh, her hand resting on the inside of her knee as Emily began to drive.

Emily smiled. "Of course; Oakwood's going down." They were a few points behind on the current leader board, but Emily wasn't worried. The team had been performing great recently, and as long as everyone maintained that standard, they could still win. Emily was feeling confident, especially since it was being held at Rosewood High and most of the crowd would be rooting for them.

She glanced over at Paige, seeing her biting her lip, looking pensive. She reached down to take her hand. "You okay?"

"What? Oh yeah, I'm fine." She didn't sound fine. She sounded sad. "Just thinking- this is going to be our last meet together; on the same team, anyway." Emily would be lying if she said that thought hadn't been playing on her mind all of last night, but she was trying not to dwell on it. There wasn't anything she could say to make Paige feel better; all she could do was hold her hand tighter.

* * *

"Come on!" Emily yelled, the whole swim team edging forwards to the side of the pool, encouraging Paige, the crowd cheering. It was the last leg of the relay; if they won this, they won the championship.

"Come on, Paige," Emily whispered, her gaze fixed on her. She was neck and neck with Oakwood, but her flip turn was more accurate; perfect, even. She grinned, watching as Paige began to pull ahead.

_Come on._

Emily held her breath as they got closer and closer to the side of the pool, Paige just maintaining the lead. "Come on, Paige!"

Paige hit the wall of the pool first, the noise erupting around them so loud that Emily winced through her own cheering. Paige lifted herself out of the water, pulling off her goggles and swim cap as the whole team surged forward, trying to pull her into a hug simultaneously.

Emily laughed, catching flashes of Paige's grin through the mass, seeing her eyes searching for her. Paige finally spotted her, raising her eyebrows, Emily smiling proudly.

Paige finally managed to make her way towards her, immediately placing a hand on the side of her neck, the other on her hip, pulling her in for a powerful kiss that made the world stop, the noise fading away into the background, every fibre of Emily's being surrounded by Paige.

Paige pulled back, running her thumb over Emily's bottom lip and looking at her with shining eyes, a smirk on face; Emily grinned.

Suddenly the team was all around them again, the noise soaring back into Emily's ears as the celebration began.

* * *

**_Paige_ **

The next few weeks saw them being thrown into finals, almost all of their free time being taken up by revision much to Paige's dismay. She wished that she could at least study with Emily, but that never seemed to work out for them; both times they had tried it had resulted in lengthy make-out sessions and little to no studying.

She was pouring over her chemistry book when she heard her dad shouting from the hall, asking her to come downstairs. She sighed, stretching as she went, having been sitting in the same position for hours. She walked into the living room. "Yeah?"

Her dad nodded to the sofa. "We wanted to talk to you about something." Paige frowned hesitantly, but took a seat. Her parents shared a look between them, Paige growing concerned that they were about to tell her that someone had died. But then her dad turned back to her, a slight smile on his face.

"We've been talking about what to get you for your graduation present."

"Oh," Paige smiled, relaxing, wondering why they were acting all serious over a present.

"We were thinking of getting you a car-" Paige's jaw dropped. _A car!_ She hadn't been expecting that at all, her mind reeling with possibilities instantly, the first one being that she could drive to visit Emily at Penn State as well as Emily driving to visit her at Pittsburgh. She didn't want Emily to feel like she was doing all the work in regards to making sure they saw one another. She suddenly realised her dad's mouth was still moving, tuning back in to listen to what he was saying. "But the choice is all yours. You're old enough now to decide what you want."

Paige shook her head, blushing slightly. "Sorry, Dad, I got distracted by the idea of a car and didn't hear the rest of what you said." Her mom smiled, rolling her eyes.

"Paige, we're asking whether you want a car, or would you rather your mom and I pay the other half of your tuition so you can go to Penn State- if that's really where you want to go, and I get the impression that it is."

Paige's heart stopped, her smile disappearing, trying to figure out if she had just hallucinated or if her parents had really just offered her a way into Penn State. "What?" she whispered, not trusting that her mind wasn't playing some cruel trick on her.

"Okay, I know you heard me that time," her dad said, smirking. "And your face is telling me the answer."

Paige could only sit there in shock, her eyes moving slowly over to her mom, seeing her give the most genuine smile she had given her in weeks. "I don't understand," she said quietly. "You know why I would rather go to Penn State, right? It's because of Emily." She wasn't sure what she was trying to accomplish by pointing that out, but she felt like she had to. They had not once mentioned Emily since the day of the championship, Paige thinking that seeing her kissing Emily in front of everyone might have been too much for them to handle.

"Yes, Paige, we're aware of that," her mom sighed. "And we're also aware that Penn State is a great school, and if you'll be happier there then we can comfortably afford to pay the rest of the fees to make that happen. You've worked so hard over the years; we want you to be able to go to the school of your choice. You deserve it."

Paige gasped, what her parents were saying finally hitting her; she could go to Penn State. _I can be with Emily_. And if this wasn't her parents giving her their blessing to be with Emily, then she didn't know what was. "Yes," she managed to choke out, a smile of disbelief on her face. "Yes, I want to go to Penn State."

"Well that's that, then," her dad said, clapping his hands onto his knees and standing up. "You can respond to their letter; let them know you accept." Paige grinned, relieved that she'd listened to the advice from Coach telling them not to accept any offer until the last minute in case a better one cropped up. She also realised she was going to have to dig the letter out of the waste paper basket in her room.

Paige leapt up, hugging her parents tightly in turn. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," she stressed. "This is the best present ever." They smiled. "Is it okay if I go to Emily's?" Paige didn't think she had ever looked forward to telling her something this much; she couldn't wait to see her reaction.

"Okay," her mom said. "Just don't be back too late."

Paige nodded quickly, darting towards the front door, grabbing her bike from the side of the house and pedalling furiously to Emily's house, smiling, feeling like she was flying.

* * *

**_Emily_ **

She heard a frantic banging on the door downstairs, listening intently as her mom answered it. She was surprised to hear Paige, frowning at the urgency in her voice. She stood up, making her way to her door but Paige got there first, throwing it open.

Before she knew what was happening, Paige had picked her up off the floor, spinning her around in circles; she ended up losing her balance, both of them tumbling onto the bed, Emily giggling as Paige landed on top of her. Well, at least whatever it was must be good; Paige had the biggest grin on her face, leaning down to kiss her. "Guess who's coming to Penn State with you?" she said, pulling back.

Emily studied Paige's face; she was _glowing_. "What do you mean?" Emily swallowed, not understanding.

"Em, we're going to the same college; _we can_ _be together_." Paige kissed her again, Emily's mind trying to catch up with what was happening. She pushed lightly on Paige's shoulders, gripping onto the material of her t-shirt tightly.

"Wait, what? What are you talking about?" Suddenly it hit her. "Paige, please tell me you didn't take out a loan? I told you not to."

Paige laughed quietly. "I didn't; relax, okay? My parents were talking to me about my graduation present; they asked if I wanted a car, or if I wanted to go to Penn State and they would pay the rest of the fees. The choice was obvious; I chose _us_."

Emily's chest constricted, unable to believe what she was hearing. "Paige, see if you're messing with me right now…" But she knew that she wasn't; Emily didn't think she'd ever seen Paige look so happy.

Paige laughed, Emily pulling her down for another kiss, smiling against her mouth as the news began to sink in, suddenly feeling like she could burst with joy. They were going to college together; they could see each other every day.

"This is it, Em," Paige murmured. "This is our break; this is our chance to be happy."

Paige was right; they had just leaped over their final obstacle. There was nothing standing in their way now. This was their time.

* * *

After that, everything seemed easy; life no longer felt like a ticking clock; she and Paige had all the time in the world. Their finals were over and Emily had never felt at more at ease. Now she could look forward to graduation; summer; college with Paige.

It was finally the night of their senior prom and Emily couldn't wait to see what Paige was wearing. She still hadn't given anything away and Emily was extremely curious, especially since Spencer had told her to make sure the corsage she bought for Paige had a pin.

After she had finished applying her make-up and styled her hair with the help of her mom (half of it pinned up, the rest cascading in waves over her shoulders), she stepped into her dress, observing herself in the mirror. The royal blue material hugged her body flawlessly, the colour the perfect complement to her skin tone; she loved the dress, and she hoped that Paige would love her in it.

She called her mom back upstairs to help her zip it up, seeing her getting teary eyed. "I can't believe how grown up you look. Time has passed so quickly." Emily smiled at her in the mirror, feeling slightly emotional herself. "You look beautiful, honey."

"Thanks, Mom," she smiled.

"Let's get a look at my little girl, then." Emily turned, seeing her dad standing in the doorway. He'd managed to get some time off so that he could be home for her graduation, which Emily was thankful for. She had missed him so much.

She stepped away from the mirror so that he could see her properly. "Wow." Emily grinned, letting him pull her into a hug. "Wait 'til Paige gets a look at you." Emily laughed. "When is she due over anyway?"

Emily turned to look at the clock. "She should be here in about fifteen minutes." Emily's stomach flipped excitedly.

"And Nick and Karen are coming too?" her mom asked, Emily nodding. Never did she imagine that both of their parents would want to see them off to prom. It was better than a dream.

They all moved downstairs, Emily listening intently for the sound of a car pulling up outside, finally hearing it after what felt like forever. She heard a knock at the door, her dad moving to answer it.

Emily took in a deep breath, smiling nervously. She got up from the couch, her breath catching in her throat as she saw Paige walk through the door. She was wearing a tuxedo. _Paige is wearing a tuxedo_. Emily felt her smile spreading, taking in every inch of Paige; from her hair that was pinned back into a bun, to her black bow tie, to the heels that she could just see poking out from under the bottom of her pants.

She looked at Paige's face, seeing that her eyes were similarly roaming all over her, taking her in. Emily blushed under her gaze. Their eyes finally connected, both of them grinning stupidly. Emily walked towards her, taking her hand and leading her up the stairs to her room, their parents too busy in conversation to notice.

They turned to face each other, Emily's eyes once again fixated on what Paige was wearing. "Well?" Paige said, sounding slightly anxious. "What do you think? It's not too much? I wasn't sure if-"

Emily looked back into Paige's eyes, cupping her cheek. "It's amazing; _you're_ amazing. I love it." She ran her finger along the collar of Paige's shirt. "In fact, I think I love it a little too much." She was seriously contemplating throwing Paige onto the bed, prom be damned.

Paige laughed, taking her hand and intertwining their fingers. "Thank god, I was so nervous."

Emily smiled at her affectionately, leaning forward to kiss her. "You had no reason to be."

Paige smiled, taking a step back to look down at her dress. She shook her head slightly. "You look so beautiful, Em," she sighed, looking back up at her with dark eyes that caused Emily's heart to race. "Stunning." Paige captured her lips in a sensual kiss, Emily stepping closer to her, her arms wrapping around Paige's neck as they kissed deeply.

"Emily!"

They broke apart reluctantly at the sound of her dad's voice. "Yeah?"

"We're waiting to take photos, come on!"

Emily huffed, though smiled at the same time, taking Paige's hand again to lead her back downstairs. "Wait," Paige said, tugging on her hand and letting it go. Emily turned to see her fiddling with a box that she hadn't realised she'd been holding.

Paige pulled out the corsage, discarding the box onto Emily's bed and gesturing for her to hold out her arm. Emily smiled as Paige slid it over her wrist with a steady hand, stroking the skin of her forearm as she admired it. "Perfect," she grinned.

Emily walked over to her desk, lifting up the corsage she had bought for Paige and moving back towards her. She slipped a hand inside Paige's jacket, pulling it outwards slightly so she could slip the pin into the material, glad that she had listened to Spencer's advice.

She smoothed her hands over Paige's front, Paige trailing her hands over her bare shoulders. "Ready?"

She smiled. "Ready."

* * *

**_Paige_ **

When her parents had first seen the tux a week ago after she'd brought it home from the tailor's, she could tell that they were surprised to say the least, her mom's disappointment evident that she wouldn't get to see her in a dress; but thankfully they'd gotten over it. By the time Paige was actually wearing it, they were ready with the camera to take her picture.

And then they had asked to take a photo of her and Emily together and she'd almost cried because she had _never_ imagined this level of acceptance from them and it was hard to process. She didn't think she would ever be over them offering to pay for Penn State either. It still felt like it had all been a figment of her imagination.

But it wasn't, she had to remind herself. This was real; oh, so very real.

She grinned as she stepped out of the long, sleek black limo that they'd all rode in to the venue. Everyone had met up at Hanna's house after getting photos done by their parents.

Paige turned, holding her hand out for Emily to help her out of the car. Emily's hand curled around her arm as they began to walk inside, following after Spencer and Toby, followed by Hanna and Caleb, and then Aria and Holden, a family friend of Aria's. Aria had assured them not to feel bad for her; although she couldn't go with Ezra, she claimed she wasn't going to let that ruin her night. Paige knew that she was just putting on a brave face though, knew it must be killing her inside.

She would never take her relationship with Emily for granted. Although it had taken a lot to get here, the main point was that they _were_ here, and that fact would always be a miracle to her.

They entered the hall, Paige looking all around the spacious room that was decorated in purple and silver. "Wow, it looks great, Spence," Emily gasped, Paige nodding in agreement.

"Thanks," Spencer smiled proudly. "Come on, we're seated over here." They followed Spencer and Toby further into the hall, Paige noticing that her attire was turning a few heads. She glanced sideways at Emily, seeing that she was already looking at her, a gentle smile on her lips, and just like that, everyone else was forgotten.

* * *

After they'd finished their meal, music started to blast from the speakers, everyone getting to their feet. Emily jumped up in excitement, tugging on Paige's hand. "Come on!" Paige smiled at Emily's enthusiasm, rising slowly. Dancing had never been her strong point, but that didn't mean she didn't enjoy it, and the look on Emily's face was the only encouragement she needed.

Emily led her onto the dance floor where all the students were gathering; they arranged themselves into a small circle with their friends, everyone smiling at each other as they began to dance. Paige moved awkwardly at first, but then she felt Emily's hand firmly in her own and began to find the rhythm of the song, happiness coursing through her body.

* * *

It felt like they had been dancing for hours; Paige had gotten so warm that she'd had to ditch her jacket, leaving her in her black vest. She'd caught Emily's eyes several times throughout the night wandering all over her, her hands brushing her back, her sides, all concealed within dance moves. Paige's stomach dipped, thinking that she was in for a good time after prom finished if they could find somewhere to be alone.

Eventually the time came when the music slowed down, everyone pairing off. Paige turned to face Emily, their eyes connecting, gazes unwavering as they stepped closer to one another, Emily's arms going around her neck as she pulled Emily in by the waist.

Their noses brushed as they began to sway slowly, Paige smiling slightly, Emily's eyes fluttering closed as she rested their foreheads together. She was slow dancing with Emily at their senior prom, and they had all the time in the world. It couldn't be more perfect. "Did you ever imagine things would play out this way?"

"What?" Emily smirked, pulling back a fraction. "Did I ever imagine we would be at prom together? Or did I ever imagine we would be going to college together?" She laughed. "Or did I ever imagine that there was the slightest chance you would even return any of the feelings I had for you?"

Paige grinned. "All of the above?" They both laughed quietly, Paige contemplating just how much everything had changed over the past nine months. It was difficult to remember what her life had been like before- dating Sean, only being Emily's friend, totally oblivious to Emily's crush on her. "It's like a fairy tale." That was the only way to describe it.

"Paige," Emily smiled. "You _are_ my fairy tale." Paige felt warmth spreading through her body, settling in the centre of her chest, a lump forming in her throat.

She leaned in, kissing Emily tenderly. "I love you; more than I could ever possibly say."

"I love you too, and I'm going to tell you that every single day from now on."

Paige smiled, kissing her again. "Even the days where I piss you off?"

"Even then," Emily laughed, kissing the tip of her nose. "We're in this forever." Emily's eyes locked with hers, so full of certainty, so full of love.

Paige kissed her lightly, pulling back with a grin. This was the end of high school, but it was the beginning of something much bigger. It was the beginning of her life with Emily. "Forever and always."


End file.
